My Wife Is The Demon King

my son's bio-weapon

It has been a while since I sleep and feel really refreshed when I wake up. It was because all of my pent up desire was unleashed last night to the point the sun has risen when I decided to let it out. I feel sorry for my beloved Roselia because she has to suffer my attack, again and again, all night long after giving birth but it was also my way of showing my love to her.

I began my day, as usual, taking a shower, eating breakfast, doing my work, and return home to meet with my wife. Ah, it should be to meet with my wife and my son.

When I arrived home, however, I was greeted by a bio-weapon. I swear that the reaction I got is 20% almost fainted, 20% almost throw up, 20% dizziness, 20% illusion, and 20% forced to shut down of respiration system.

This is a new situation that destroys my lovely routine of kissing my wife till she is asking for it when I come back from work. Of course, what I mean by she is asking for it is the usual cliché route.

Wife: "My dear, you should stop this, the food is getting cold."

Me: "I don't really care."

Wife: "Are you going to eat dinner first, take a bath, or… *whisper* eat me *whisper*"

I don't need to tell what is my answer because it was so obvious and right now my obvious answer is being obstructed by this bioweapon.

After I regained my composure from the poison, I looked inside my house to find no sight of my wife waiting for me at the door.

Don't tell me, those people already discovered that my son is going to be the next demon king and have sent an assassin to kill him?

"Roselia, Roselia!"

I shouted and searched around the house in a panic. I looked inside our room and found nobody. Not in the kitchen, the bathroom, and the living room either. That leaves one room left unsearched and it was the newly built room for my son. As I don't want to be disturbed when the night comes, I built my son's room in the blink of an eye. That is also the last place that I need to search right now.

I opened the door and I saw my beloved lying down on the floor. I also saw the cold stare from my son directed at me again. Why did you have to give me that look? Am I your enemy or what? Why are you looking at me like a man looking at trash? I'm your god damn father!

Ignoring my son, for now, I search for the source of the bioweapon. I immediately found the bioweapon located at my wife's hand. It was a white fabric covered in a black substance. The stench it emitted, however, is enough to even kill a low-rank dragon.

What kind of bioweapon is this? I never know that humans have developed such a powerful bioweapon, not to mention the demons that are lacking in the innovation and creativity section.

There's also another question that pops out in my mind. Who is capable enough to sneak a bioweapon inside the house of the demon king? The hero? That's impossible after all… Hero's companion? I never heard of anyone that strong from the human side though.

Looking closer at the scene inside the room, I quickly realized the real true form of the bioweapon.

The white fabric on my wife's hand, the pant-less, and my son's elephant that I mistook as my son's hobby to voyeurism, there's only one conclusion. It was my son's poop!

I never thought that even the demon king poop can be used as a weapon. A dangerous weapon at that! I believe if it was thrown into a city, the population of the city will be defeated in no time at all. The demon will invade the defenseless city with ease. It was so scary how powerful my son is as the future demon king. Even his poop is a powerful bioweapon.

As I am the only one left standing in this room (technically because my son can't stand up yet) I need to solve this predicament. Firstly, I take the bioweapon from my wife's hand and throw it out as far as I can. Secondly, I need to do emergency treatment of mouth to mouth resuscitation. Of course, I won't let anyone do it not to mention nobody is strong enough to come in and resist my son's bioweapon even if it's just the residue. Thirdly, I need to wipe my son's butt and clean it. All in all, my plan is executed flawlessly. The bioweapon is gone from my home, my wife wakes up after the kis*cough* emergency treatment and some molesta*cough*massage.

The only problem is my son's eye that reflected his thought that he is thinking of me as disgusting as I wiped his butt and clean it. Of course, without any malice or hatred or vengeance, I spanked his butt to teach him a lesson. Who's your daddy?

All in all, today has gone off from my daily routine but it passed peacefully in one way or another. I also got rewarded by my wife for my act today with her mouth saying it and doing it. I guess, my second day as a father is a successful day.