CHARLOTTE'S WEB

CHAPTER 16

Off to the Fair

THE NIGHT before the County Fair, every-

body went to bed early. Fern and Avery

were in bed by eight. Avery lay dreaming

that the Ferris wheel had stopped and that

he was in the top car. Fern lay dreaming that she was

getting sick in the swings.

Lurvy was in bed by eight-thirty. He lay dreaming

that he was throwing baseballs at a cloth cat and

winning a genuine Navajo blanket. Mr. and Mrs.

Zuckerman were in bed by nine. Mrs. Zuckerman lay

dreaming about a deep freeze unit. Mr. Zuckerman lay dreaming about Wilbur. He dreamt that Wilbur had

grown until he was one hundred and sixteen feet long

and ninety-two feet high and that he had won all the

prizes at the Fair and was covered with blue ribbons

and even had a blue ribbon tied to the end of his tail.

Down in the barn cellar, the animals, too, went to

sleep early, all except Charlotte. Tomorrow would be

Fair Day. Every creature planned to get up early to see

Wilbur off on his great adventure.

When morning came, everybody got up at daylight.

The day was hot. Up the road at the Arables' house,

Fern lugged a pail of hot water to her room and took a

sponge bath. Then she put on her prettiest dress be-

cause she knew she would see boys at the Fair. Mrs.

Arable scrubbed the back of Avery's neck, and wet his

hair, and parted it, and brushed it down hard till it

stuck to the top of his head-all but about six hairs that

stood straight up. Avery put on clean underwear, clean

blue jeans, and a clean shirt. Mr. Arable dressed, ate

breakfast, and then went out and polished his truck.

He had offered to drive everybody to the Fair, includ-

ing Wilbur.

Bright and early, Lurvy put clean straw in Wilbur's

crate and lifted it into the pigpen. The crate was green.

In gold letters it said:

ZUCKERMAN'S FAMOUS PIG

Charlotte had her web looking fine for the occasion.

Wilbur ate his breakfast slowly. He tried to look ra-

diant without getting food in his ears.

In the kitchen, Mrs. Zuckerman suddenly made an

announcement.

"Homer," she said to her husband, "I am going to

give that pig a buttermilk bath."

"A what? " said Mr. Zuckerman.

"A buttermilk bath. My grandmother used to bathe

her pig with buttermilk when it got dirty-1 just re-

membered."

"Wilbur's not dirty," said Mr. Zuckerman proudly.

"He's filthy behind the ears," said Mrs. Zuckerman.

"Every time Lurvy slops him, the food runs down

around the ears. Then it dries and forms a crust. He also

has a smudge on one side where he lays in the manure."

"He lays in clean straw," corrected Mr. Zuckerman.

"Well, he's dirty, and he's going to have a bath."

Mr. Zuckerman sat down weakly and ate a dough-

nut. His wife went to the woodshed. When she re-

turned, she wore rubber boots and an old raincoat, and

she carried a bucket of buttermilk and a small wooden

paddle.

"Edith, you're crazy," mumbled Zuckerman.

But she paid no attention to him. Together they

walked to the pigpen. Mrs. Zuckerman wasted no time.

She climbed in with Wilbur and went to work. Diping her paddle in the buttennilk, she rubbed him all

over. The geese gathered around to see the fun, and so

did the sheep and lambs. Even Templeton poked his

head out cautiously, to watch Wilbur get a buttermilk

bath. Charlotte got so interested, she lowered herself

on a dragline so she could see better. Wilbur stood still

and closed his eyes. He could feel the buttennilk trick-

ling down his sides. He opened his mouth and some

buttennilk ran in. It was delicious. He felt radiant and

happy. When Mrs. Zuckennan got through and rubbed

him dry, he was the deanest, prettiest pig you ever saw.

her paddle in the buttennilk, she rubbed him all

over. The geese gathered around to see the fun, and so

did the sheep and lambs. Even Templeton poked his

head out cautiously, to watch Wilbur get a buttermilk

bath. Charlotte got so interested, she lowered herself

on a dragline so she could see better. Wilbur stood still

and closed his eyes. He could feel the buttennilk trick-

ling down his sides. He opened his mouth and some

buttennilk ran in. It was delicious. He felt radiant and

happy. When Mrs. Zuckennan got through and rubbed

him dry, he was the deanest, prettiest pig you ever saw.

have a feast. In the horse barn you will find oats that

the trotters and pacers have spilled. In the trampled

grass of the infield you will find old discarded lunch

boxes containing the foul remains of peanut butter

sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, cracker crumbs, bits of

doughnuts, and particles of cheese. In the hard-packed

dirt of the midway, after the glaring lights are out and

the people have gone home to bed, you will find a

veritable treasure of popcorn fragments, frozen custard

dribblings, candied apples abandoned by tired children,

sugar fluff crystals, salted almonds, popsicles, partially

gnawed ice cream cones, and the wooden sticks of lolly-

pops. Everywhere is loot for a rat-in tents, in booths,

in hay lofts-why, a fair has enough disgusting left-

over food to satisfy a whole army of rats."

Templeton's eyes were blazing.

"Is this true? " he asked. "Is this appetizing yarn of

yours true? I like high living, and what you say

tempts me."

"It is true," said the old sheep. "Go to the Fair, Tem-

pleton. You will find that the conditions at a fair will

surpass your wildest dreams. Buckets with sour mash

sticking to them, tin cans containing particles of tuna

fish, greasy paper bags stuffed with rotten ... "

"That's enough!" cried Templeton. "Don't tell me

any more. I'm going."

"Good," said Charlotte, winking at the old sheep.

"Now then-there is no time to be lost. Wilbur will

soon be put into the crate. Templeton and I must get

in the crate right now and hide ourselves."

The rat didn't waste a minute. He scampered over to

the crate, crawled between the slats, and pulled straw

up over him so he was hidden from sight.

"All right," said Charlotte, "I'm next." She sailed

into the air, let out a dragline, and dropped gently to

the ground. Then she climbed the side of the crate and

hid herself inside a knothole in the top board.

The old sheep nodded. "What a cargo!" she said.

"That sign ought to say 'Zuckerman's Famous Pig

and Two Stowaways'."

"Look out, the people are coming-oming-oming! "

shouted the gander. "Cheese it, cheese it, cheese it!"

The big truck with Mr. Arable at the wheel backed

slowly down toward the barnyard. Lurvy and Mr.

Zuckerman walked alongside. Fern and Avery were

standing in the body of the truck hanging on to the

sideboards.

"Listen to me," whispered the old sheep to Wilbur.

"When they open the crate and try to put you in,

struggle! Don't go without a tussle. Pigs always re-

sist when they are being loaded."

"If I struggle I'll get diny," said Wilbur.

"Never mind that-do as I say! Struggle! If you

were to walk into the crate without resisting, Zuckerman might think you were bewitched. He'd be scared

to go to the Fair."

Templeton poked his head up through the straw.

"Struggle if you must," said he, "but kindly remember

that I'm hiding down here in this crate and I don't want

to be stepped on, or kicked in the face, or pummeled,

or crushed in any way, or squashed, or buffeted about,

or bruised, or lacerated, or scarred, or bi.ffed. Just

watch what you're doing, Mr. Radiant, when they get

shoving you in!"

"Be quiet, Templeton!" said the sheep. "Pull in your

head-they're coming. Look radiant, Wilbur! Lay low,

Charlotte! Talk it up, geese!"

The truck backed slowly to the pigpen and stopped.

Mr. Arable cut the motor, got out, walked around to

the rear, and lowered the tailgate. The geese cheered.

Mrs. Arable got out of the truck. Fern and A very

jumped to the ground. Mrs. Zuckerman came walking

down from the house. Everybody lined up at the fence

and stood for a moment admiring Wilbur and the beau-

tiful green crate. Nobody realized that the crate al-

ready contained a rat and a spider.

"That's some pig! " said Mrs. Arable.

"H . "fi II e s tern c, sa1 "d L urvy.

"He's very radiant," said Fern, remembering the day

he was born.

"Well," said Mrs. Zuckerman, "he's clean, anyway.

The buttermilk cenainly helped."

Mr. Arable studied Wilbur carefully. "Yes, he's a

wonderful pig," he said. "It's hard to believe that he

was the runt of the litter. You'll get some extra good

ham and bacon, Homer, when it comes time to kill

that pig."

Wilbur heard these words and his heart almost

stopped. "I think I'm going to faint," he whispered to

the old sheep, who was watching.

"Kneel down!" whispered the old sheep. "Let the

blood rush to your head! "

Wilbur sank to his knees, all radiance gone. His eyes

closed.

"Look! " screamed Fern. "He's fading away! "

"Hey, watch me!" yelled Avery, crawling on all

fours into the crate. "I'm a pig! I'm a pig! "

Avery's foot touched Templeton under the straw.

"What a mess! " thought the rat. "What fantastic crea-

tures boys are! Why did I let myself in for this?"

The geese saw A very in the crate and cheered.

"Avery, you get out of that crate this instant!" com-

manded his mother. "What do you think you are?"

"I'm a pig! " cried Avery, tossing handfuls of straw

into the air. "Oink, oink, oink!"

"The truck is rolling away, Papa," said Fern.

The truck, with no one at the wheel, had staned to roll downhill. Mr. Arable dashed to the driver's seat

and pulled on the emergency brake. The truck stopped.

The geese cheered. Charlotte crouched and made her-

self as small as possible in the knothole, so A very

wouldn't see her.

"Come out at once! " cried Mrs. Arable. Avery

crawled out of the crate on hands and knees, making

faces at Wilbur. Wilbur fainted away.

"The pig has passed out," said Mrs. Zuckerman.

"Throw water on him! "

"Throw buttermilk! " suggested Avery.

The geese cheered.

Lurvy ran for a pail of water. Fern climbed into the

pen and knelt by Wilbur's side.

"It's sunstroke," said Zuckerman. "The heat is too

much for him."

"Maybe he's dead," said Avery.

"Come out of that pigpen immediately!" cried Mrs.

Arable. Avery obeyed his mother and climbed into the

back of the truck so he could see better. Lurvy returned

with cold water and dashed it on Wilbur.

"Throw some on me!" cried Avery. "I'm hot, too."

"Oh, keep quiet!" hollered Fern. "Keep qui-ut! "

Her eyes were brimming with tears.

Wilbur, feeling the cold water, came to. He rose

slowly to his feet, while the geese cheered.

"He's up!" said Mr. Arable. "I guess there's nothing

wrong with him."

"I' m ungry, h " Sai 'd A very. want "I a can d' 1e d app e. 1 "

"Wilbur's all right now," said Fern. "We can start.

I want to take a ride in the Ferris wheel."

Mr. Zuckerman and Mr. Arable and Lurvy grabbed

the pig and pushed him headfirst toward the crate. Wil-

bur began to struggle. The harder the men pushed, the

harder he held back. Avery jumped down and joined

the men. Wilbur kicked and thrashed and grunted.

"Nothing wrong with this pig," said Mr. Zuckerman

cheerfully, pressing his knee against Wilbur's behind.

"All together, now, boys! Shove!"

With a final heave they jammed him into the crate.

The geese cheered. Lurvy nailed some boards across

the end, so Wilbur couldn't back out. Then, using all

their strength, the men picked up the crate and heaved it aboard the truck. They did not know that under the

straw was a rat, and inside a knothole was a big grey

spider. They saw only a pig.

"Everybody in!" called Mr. Arable. He started the

motor. The ladies climbed in beside him. Mr. Zucker-

man and Lurvyand Fern and Avery rode in back, hang-

ing onto the sideboards. The truck began to move

ahead. The geese cheered. The children answered their

cheer, and away went everybody to the Fair.