Broken Chains

Chapter 1 I was all alone here in the silent forest. I walked sedately down the path that I had been walking my whole life feeling the autumn blanket of leaves crunching soundlessly under my feet. Movement to the right caught my attention and I turned my head, a smile instantly appearing on my face as Derek stepped out from between the trees his skin glowing in the moonlight combined with his eyes flashing gold mesmerized me. He looked solemn as he extended his hand. I tried to speak but before I had even uttered a single sound he held up a hand to silence me and shook his head gently. I reached out and slid my hand into his. Derek’s skin felt cold under my grip and his fingers tightened slightly around mine. He gave a small hesitant smile and began to walk away pulling me behind him with a pressure so gentle it was nearly nonexistent. I followed his lead through the silent forest down the path towards the clearing where we attended our monthly meets. As we walked silently into the clearing we were both bathed in the light of the full moon which hovered above the canopy. Derek pulled on my hand just a little more urging me to follow him yet my feet seemed rooted to the ground in pure irrational terror. I could see the entire clearing it was empty and the forest around us was utterly still and silent. Fear clogged my throat the air here in our sacred place seemed to radiate pure menace, pure death. “Derek.” I whispered my voice seeming as insubstantial as a breeze. Derek however didn’t seem to hear as he moved on, I took a deep breath forced my feet to move following Derek’s gentle lead. He led me over to the large Oak tree, “Sit down.” He said quietly just as he had on that night when I had first witness the execution of a rogue and as I had done on that night I followed this direction. He pulled some earphones from nowhere and pushed them into my ears Queens we will rock you pounded through the headphones and I recalled that had been the song that played that night. Derek crouched down in front of me and sadly stroked my cheek, “cover your eyes.” he whispered his voice as with mine sounded insubstantial as the wind, “and don’t look.” “Dare.” I whispered he again seemed not to hear me. “Cover your eyes.” He whispered guiding my hands, “it’ll be okay.” His voice whispered into my ear as he gently kissed my cheek. “Derek.” I said as I heard footsteps even over the music pounding in my ears. “Derek?” I echoed as fear pounded through me. As if I was that little girl again hesitantly cautiously I peeped between my fingers and my heart stopped. Blood so much blood. All my brothers were saturated in blood. The music in my heart instantly become some sort of horrific anthem as I watching my pack all in wolf form and covered in blood and circling in a tight knot around. “DEREK” I screamed as I saw my mate writhing on the ground bleeding so much. “No, no, no” I shouted as my brothers, my family dived down biting my Derek savagely. He was still in human form and screaming clearly in agony. I felt as if I was pinned to the ground by the pure force of my terror. I screamed in anguish as Derek lifted his eyes to mine as if he had finally heard me. He smiled at me a cold cruel smile that I didn’t like, “Well done Jessica.” He said which I could easily hear over the snarls of my brothers and the hideous soundtrack, “you must be thrilled you’ve finally ended what’s between us.” “No” I whispered weakly as he flashed that evil smile at me again and my brothers closed in still snapping and snarling at him. “No, Derek, Derek Derek.” I shouted as I began to fight against those invisible bonds holding me in place. “Jess, Jess, Jessica” I felt myself being roughly shaken. My eyes snapped open and I was confronted instantly by Dean’s beautiful face as he stared at me looking horrified. “Bad dream?” he asked gently. It was a pointless question around now all my dreams were bad. Dean gave a sad smile and reached out to stroke my cheek, brushing the tears off my face. “Can you untie these?” I whimpered shuffling slightly on my bed pulling on my chained wrists. “You know I can’t.” He said placidly, and I sighed collapsing back into my pillows the sedatives still heavy in my system. Dean went to the bedroom door as a persistent knocking had begun. I shifted as much as I could which to be honest wasn’t much as I had been tied down to this bed since my boys had found me and brought me back here. Not that I could blame them I hadn’t really been co-operating. I in fact had been trying to get out trying to get away from them so that I could find Derek. I was so sad about Jamie and I was angry at Derek and hurt and basically just totally lost. The only coherent thought my brain could register was: Derek, Derek is out there you have to find him. It was as if a traitorous voice was whispering in my ear a voice I was powerless to ignore, a voice I listened too. So I had been tied up for my own safety as well as theirs. Darius had also insisted that I was kept sedated so that I couldn’t shift even though I didn’t have the right mental state to choose to shift my hissy fits could have forced it. also while our security of beefed up we had abandoned the den and were in our safe house. we were out In the suburbs but still was too close to a town it was not a safe place for me to be shifting. So I was kept here under Guard (my current babysitter was a very excited Dean) and confined. “Look she’s alright.” Dean muttered from the doorway. “She was screaming like the house is on fire.” A hoarse voice growled, “Yeah but did you hear what she was screaming? How in the hell mate do you think your going to be able to help with that?” “Look I’m worried about her.” “She’s fine I’ve got it” Dean snapped, “I’m supposed to keep her unexcited Darius said not to let anyone in.” “Jamie?” I muttered groggily, Dean sighed sadly and rested his head against the doorframe. “Be my guest.” Dean said weakly, “because I guess I’m in trouble either way.” I twisted desperate to see my visitor as for a second, my sense had fled it was as if the past three days hadn’t happened and Jamie was here to look after me like always but that hopeful childish dream suddenly popped like a bubble as a solemn Ashton walked it. He was going through his transition and suffering badly as he had been forced for safety to follow us here and endure tranquilizers and sedatives when the shifts started having to fight his wolf that was trying to emerge. So poor thing had only endured his first agonizing shift and I knew I hadn’t spoken to him about it but from Darius, Roger, Geoff and Dean I knew his first shift had been bad really bad, so the terror of the next shift was just left to fester. “Hey Jess.” he said perching on the end of my bed. Despite the tangle of emotions I was suffering from I couldn’t help but smile at him. “What?” he asked calmly a slow anger for me still burned in him I knew that but his compassion for my pain seemed to overwhelm this. “You’re wearing Boxers.” I said as Dean sighed and flopped down onto my bed picking up some stray girly or car magazine. Well I can call it my bed but it hadn’t been for years. But if the whole pack came here (which we hadn’t for years) this was my room, well the room I shared with Derek I was on his bed. We had liked this room when we were kids because when we were both in bed if we reached out we could hold hands. “Um yeah” Ashton said vaguely looking down at his dark boxers. I smiled again, “I remember when you were too shy to even sit on the sofa and now you’re hanging out in my bedroom in just a pair of boxer shorts.” Ashton smiled, “I think living with you guys for several months may have had something to do with that.” He said reaching out to flick my nose playfully. “Besides I’m burning up like hell constantly my skin feels.” He shrugged uncomfortably “like oversensitive I don’t really like anything touching it, that’s if I can help it.” “Nothing to do with the fact that you’re filling out so nicely and just want to show off?” I said with an eyebrow raised, Ashton laughed but it was honestly true. Despite being sedated and locked in the cage (we still had one in the cellar) whenever a shift threatened that didn’t stop the changes in his physique and oh my god! He apparently hadn’t stopped eating in the past few days and everything he’d eaten seemed to have morphed instantly into muscle and attached itself to all the right places. His bare chest and shoulders were filing out nicely and producing some very new thick strong muscles which were now shining with the thin film of sweat newly transitioned males often seemed to experience. It was different for girls for some reason males got strong and bulky and girls we thinned out true we got strong true but while they gained mass we just disappeared. Ashton smiled and flicked the long dark hair back out of his eyes. He gave me a gently tentative sort of smile, now he was growing into his geeky features he really was becoming a very attractive guy. "Where are your glasses ?" he shrugged, "I don't seem to need them anymore. Are you alright?” he asked gently stroking my hair as I noticed he was breathing very deeply whether he knew it or not I knew it he was smelling me, there aren’t many female wolves so the males liked the way we smelt, and he was new to all these sorts of revelations. I shook my head. Ashton was then very un-Ashton like tried to put his arms around me growling as he realised the ropes were restraining me. “Mate can you take these off?” he called to Dean. “No I like her like that” Dean said flashing me a devastating smile over the top of his magazine. “Why what is she going to do?” Ashton asked hesitantly as Dean flashed a glare at him it wasn’t a threat just a ‘don’t question my authority’ gaze. Ashton instinctively dropped his eyes, Dean wasn’t threatening him but he was being firm as Ashton was needing to learn his place in the pack. As he wasn’t a natural that made him bottom of the pile he could have fought his way up if he was pure Alpha but Ashton was anything but an alpha and my boys knew that so he’d always be bottom of the pile. It’s just all the others instincts tell them to keep reminding him of that fact. “Kill myself.” I said brightly “What?” Ashton said incredulously, “It’s not unknown.” Dean said calmly “her mate is dead you haven’t met your mate yet Ash it’s f*****g intense. Her mates dead as far as it matters he’s dead suicide in grief is not unheard of. It’s actually shockingly common to go self destructive and Jess has spent the last year being fairly self destructive already.” Ashton smiled at me clearly seeking reassurance. “But your not going to do that.” It wasn’t a question. I knew I should say something to reassure him but I didn’t care enough to five minutes I’d been awake and I was too tired I just wanted him to go away now I wanted him to leave me alone. I just shrugged, instantly Ashton’s eyes widened in pure horror.” I’m just tired Ash.” I said wearily, “Of course.” he said brushing my cheek with his palm he leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. He smelt of hamburgers and chocolate cake. My forehead tingled where his lips had touched my skin; even his lips radiated the fevered heat of his body. Ashton headed for the door "I'm tired but I can't sleep." I whispered, he froze reaching out for the door handle. "because If I sleep I see him. I see what he is doing what he has become." Derek A cold chill blew across my skin tickling my reluctant brain trying to persuade me that daytime had come, but my sub consciousness was putting up a hell of a fight today. Obviously last night had been one hell of a night that thought made me groan as I rolled over in my sleep. I purred as my fingers felt soft warm skin beneath them, Jessica. I shuffled closer moulding my body into her back I nuzzled my nose into her hair savouring her scent. My conscious mind suddenly kicked in alarm bells ringing telling me that wasn’t Jessica’s scent it was close but not right not quite. That really did produce a groan. “i***t” I snarled opening my eyes and pushing myself away from Bethany’s naked Body with Disgust. I sat up on the edge of the bed rubbing a hand across my face. “i***t” I snapped again pushing myself up and walking over to the open curtains across the patio doors showing a view of a neat suburban back garden which looked like it had been cut straight out of a lifestyle magazine like the ones this family had in the living room. I opened the door of this ground floor bedroom and strode out into the garden snagging a packet of cigarettes as I passed the sideboard. I needed the oxygen this house was stifling, and I was still cursing myself for my wake up call. f**k it had just been days but it seemed that my time with the pack had been a whole other lifetime ago. Well these days had taught me a lot one of them being that Bethany was nothing like Jessica however much she may look like her she was not her and she could never be. The other most important thing I had learned was that the only time I was happy was in those few seconds when I awoke when I was in that place between sleep and awake where I could still fool myself that it was my love that I held nestled against me, but it wasn’t I had lost her forever. She may have destroyed our child and killed what we had but I could have still been with her. I could have talked to her smelt her hair, watched her eyes turn to the burnished gold. I would have hurt but I could have held her pressed to me and right now it seemed that that option would be worth all the hurt in the world, because it hurt so much now just to breathe hurt. I sighed and walked across the dew damp grass not caring in the least that I was naked what did such things matter. That was something else I had learnt about myself just how little I really did care. I mean in the basement was a dead middle aged couple, we’d killed them. Well they had ‘But you didn’t stop them did you?’ that annoying voice in the back of my head whispered. I ignored this and sat down on the swing a remnant of the children they had that had now grown up and moved away. But they were still two children whose lives would be forever altered in a few days when they moved on and allowed the bodies to be found. I closed my eyes and allowed my head to drop to the side resting on the taut chain I sighed. “f**k off Christian.” I muttered wearily without even needing to open my eyes I knew his steps. “No I want to talk to you.” He growled, I sighed and lit up a cigarette flinging the rest of the pack down on the ground. The smoking was new it had never even occurred to me when I was at home and I had been rather irate to find out Jessica smoked even occasionally, but hell there was so much I had done in the past few days which had never crossed my mind before so this hardly seemed like something to worry over anymore. Christian snarled and stomped across the yard. This had happened a lot since I had turned up; Christian had been the closest thing the group had to an Alpha male well until me anyway. I knew I was alpha material hell a week ago I was second in command of an actual pack. Not that it really mattered here I was the alpha male for the simple reason that I was the one f*****g Bethany. She was the real Alpha here. I didn’t give a s**t about being in command of a f*****g bunch of outcasts neither did Christian but he cared about Bethany he thought he was in love with her. I didn’t care about that either though, f*****g Bethany was convenient at the moment and I knew it hurt Jessie. I wished I didn’t have those hideous thoughts but I couldn’t help it I liked the fact that I was hurting her, maybe that was the proof that I had truly turned my back on everything I was before. “No you don’t you want to threaten me, and you want me to stop screwing your girl.” I said wearily focusing my gaze on nothing “to be honest I don’t want to and I'm not going to. So I’ll be forced to beat you up again and I don’t want to I can’t be assed right now.” I said blowing smoke at him. “I won’t be blown off like that.” Christian said “Bethany is my mate and I sure as hell won’t give her up to you. So you know what the answer is then.” He snarled. I growled stubbing my cigarette on one of the swings metal legs before dropping it onto the grass. I hauled myself up to my feet it was going to be another one of those days, but right now weren’t they all.