Defying the Alpha

Prologue: I Wished For Death

Preview...

CECELIA:

I propped myself up on one arm and looked down at Alpha Aiden.

He was still pinned under my body on the floor, watching me with dark, hungry eyes.

I licked my lips, which were already swollen from his kisses, and ran a hand through my tangled hair. Despite my mess, I felt beautiful. He made me feel beautiful and desired in ways that my husband, Ellis, never could.

I didn't care that what we were doing was very, very wrong.

AIDEN:

As I stood there, Cecelia’s beautiful body glowing in the dappled afternoon sunlight, I felt something clogging my throat. She was everything that a she-wolf should be; strong, confident, and gorgeous. She flashed me a grin before she hunkered down, pressed one palm into the earth, and shifted, quickly and efficiently. There was a sound like cracking knuckles, and the air wavered and blurred around her, like heat shimmering over asphalt on a hot day, slightly obscuring her form as bones rearranged, and fur sprouted over honey-gold skin.

Cecelia the wolf was as breath-taking as Cecelia the woman. Her coat was gray, almost black across her back, and fading to white by the time it reached her paws and her muzzle. There was a distinct white tip at the end of her bushy tail as well, while her same lovely dark brown eyes were slightly rimmed with black. She sat down on her haunches, her tail sweeping the ground as she stared at me, clearly waiting for me to join her.

What would you do for the mate you crave?

What would you risk for the love you long for?

What would you sacrifice to sate the hunger of the wolf within?

Dear readers,

Please note that this story is rated 18+. There will be s*x, violence, crude humor, and other mature themes throughout the book. I will not be placing trigger warnings at the beginning of individual chapters because I believe they interrupt the flow for other readers. The warning is here, if you are sensitive or easily offended, this is not the book for you. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy my story, and I look forward to reading your comments!

Love and Light,

Maureen

Aiden

It had been months, almost a year, but it never got any easier. The void where my soul used to be felt like an enormous ulcer, gnawing away at my innards, day in and day out. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t focus on anything, I couldn’t care about anything. All my thoughts were on Mary, all the time. In my grief, I played the memory of the light fading from her beautiful baby blue eyes over and over, not understanding how, or why. Werewolves aren’t supposed to get sick, but she did.

My soulmate left me to die from a broken heart. I had nothing left to live for and I was dying.

I was barely a shadow of myself. My body had withered away until my skin was stretched too tightly over my bones. My hair had grown shaggy, and my beard was brushing my chest, but I couldn’t be bothered with matters of personal grooming. I showered when my stench was so bad that even I couldn’t bear it, but that was all. I wished for death every day, and although it had eluded me, I knew that soon, very soon, I would find it, and finally be reunited with my love.

There was one last thing I had to do for my pack. I needed to assign an heir.

Mary and I had never been blessed with children, but she had a son from an earlier relationship. Ellis was eight when we met, and I gladly accepted the child and raised him as my own. I had given him all the training and all the privileges that came with being the son of an Alpha, but still, I had my doubts and reservations about handing over the reins to the boy. When I looked into his eyes I saw the same light blue as my beloved, and yet they were not like Mary’s at all.

Mary’s eyes had been warm and full of love. Ellis’s eyes were cold as ice.

I had briefly considered skipping Ellis and assigning the Alpha title to my beta. I had pushed Benson away after Mary died. I couldn’t stand to disintegrate in front of him. But he was still my best friend and second in command. Benson would have made a strong, fair leader to my people.

In the end, I felt like I owed it to Mary to give my power to her only son. In some small way, she would live on through him, and I wanted to honor her.

Besides, I still had a hope that once Ellis found his mate, his sharp edges would be smoothed down. I thoroughly believed that the right woman would help him to become a better man, the best man he was capable of becoming.

The Elder Council was gathered in the conference room, and I stood at the head of the table for the last time. My legs felt like they could barely hold me, and I leaned my hands on the surface for support as I looked around the room. The window over the gardens let in the bright sunlight, making the chandelier over the table unnecessary. The red rug under the table was getting a little threadbare. I couldn’t help but notice the rug because I remember Mary had been planning to replace it shortly before she became ill. I pulled my eyes back to the long rectangular boardroom table, and the ten people seated in leather chairs around it.

The elders looked back at me with mixed expressions of pity, sorrow, and revulsion. They had no real power in the pack, but as elders, I respected their experience, their voice, and their ideas. I always included them in major decisions, seeking their wisdom even though the final say was mine. The youngest among them was pushing seventy, but all of them were still strong and sound-minded.

I was the one who had grown weak and feeble. I knew it, they knew it.

Sucking in a deep breath, I began without preamble, “Ladies... gentlemen. It’s time.”

There was a sharp, collective inhale.

“I can no longer lead our people. I am declaring Ellis as my heir.”

The leather chairs squeaked slightly as they shifted in their seats and passed uneasy glances across the table at each other. I knew that they felt some apprehension about the prospect of leaving the Dark Rising pack in Ellis’ hands. But they only had to look at me to see that I was no longer a capable leader.

“Are you sure, Alpha?” Esther, a retired nurse asked, her brows drawing together over her nose. Esther had been present in the delivery room when I was born. And even though she had retired, she had attended to my dying wife too. She had seen my life from the beginning to its now nearing end.

I stared at her until her face began to swim in front of my eyes. Was she asking if I was sure that I wanted to step down, or if I was sure that Ellis was the right man for the job?

Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, my wolf was whimpering. I could no longer tell if he was crying for Mary, or if he was crying over the loss of our role as a leader. It didn’t matter. I was dying, the pack needed a leader, and Ellis was the expected choice. So, I gave Esther a firm nod. “On the first day of the new moon, I will make it official,” I lowered my body back into my chair and sighed, “I am requesting that you make all the necessary arrangements for the ceremony.”

White and gray heads nodded sadly. “Of course, Alpha, it will be an honor.”

Somehow, it didn’t feel honorable. Worrying thoughts about giving a young man like Ellis so much power and responsibility niggled at me, but I found it difficult to connect my thoughts rationally. In my mind, there were just snippets of ideas and bits of reality with nothing tangible to hold onto, nothing that felt like a full argument. I just did not have the energy or the heart to scrutinize my choices too closely. Gone was the time I could make a sound judgment call.

It had to be done. I needed to name an heir, and Ellis had completed his training and proved himself able, that was all. It was my duty to make sure that I passed the baton so that the pack wouldn’t fight and fall into discord when I passed. It was the last thing I could do for them.

I loved my pack, but that love couldn’t sustain me. I needed Mary, and Mary was gone.