The Clandestine Assistant

5. Life Decisions

I sat combing through the wants ads, sipping tea, and watching the sun rise. This was it, I was now and adult and it was time to start making decision that would effect the rest of my life. Something as simple as a job could literally change the trajectory of where my life would go. I sat back in my seat and sighed. I was feeling the pressure of this next step and I didn’t know what I was going to do next. Charlotte walked out and sat across from me.

"Good morning Dahling!" She laughed. "What's eating you Gilbert Grape?"

I smiled. "Oh just making big life decisions, and worrying about how they might effect me long term."

She shook her head. "You worry to much. You’re twenty three, if this next job doesn't work, then find another one, You have a whole life ahead of you."

"Ok you're right." I picked up my phone. "Not a whole lot of ads up, not much out there right now I guess."

"Print out your resume, and tomorrow, just go in to companies you'd love to work for. Take initiative, people like that."

"Just walk in and be like, hey hire me?"

"Why not? What have you got to lose? You're amazing, anyone would be lucky to have you."

"What are we talking about?" My brother asked, as he walked out and joined us.

"I told Ava she should just print out her resume and walk in to companies tomorrow, plead her case for her amazingness."

"That's not a bad idea. It could work." Mark shrugged.

"I think it’s an excellent idea." Dad said standing in the door.

"People wont think I'm crazy?"

Dad smiled and walked over taking a seat. "Some might, but the good ones will see your drive."

"Alright I guess tomorrow I will do it." A shook my head. Tomorrow would be interesting.

"We can leave in the morning. Mark and I need to head back into the city too. We've got a meeting in the afternoon. Charlotte we can get you all setup as well."

Charlotte smiled. "I am excited to get to work."

"Hello Family! Did you miss me?"

I all the sudden felt sick to my stomach, as I heard her retched voice behind me. I thought she wasn't coming  until this evening. I wasn't ready to deal with her yet.

"Elaine honey, you’re back early." Dad smiled. He stood up giving her a kiss.

"I didn’t want to miss our girl coming home." She walked over and hugged my shoulders from behind. "Ava sweetheart it is so good to have you home."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. My gut was telling me to run, but I am an adult now. She can’t hurt me like that anymore. I reassured myself. "Hi Elaine. It’s good to be home."

Her and dad sat down. "Charlotte I hear you’re going to work with my boys."

Charlotte smiled and nodded. "I am grateful for the opportunity."

Elaine turned and looked at me. "So what is your plan?"

"Tomorrow I am going to go turn in resumes."

"In person?" She asked.

I nodded.

She smiled and looked at my stomach. "Are you sure in person is better then just sending online? Let them see how capable you are before they meet you. You are top of your class."

She isn’t wasting anytime throwing out the punches. She is really good at disguising a dig as a compliment. To everyone else I am sure it sounds like she is saying I am smart and anyone would love to hire me after seeing my resume. But I know better, what she is really saying is, if they see me first, they will judge me on my size. She's right, they probably will. I stood up. "I am going to go take a shower." I quickly ran off, I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I got to my room and crashed down on my belly, burying my head in my pillow. Someone knocked softly on my door and walked in. I rolled over as Mark walked in. He walked over and sat on the bed. "You ok?"

A shook my head. "She's right you know. What if they see me and think, not hiring thos girll?" I shook my head.

"Ava stop." He pulled me into a hug. "You are beautiful, you’re the kindness person I know, and also the smartest. Smarter then me even. If you ever tell anyone I said you're smarter, I will deny it."

"You have to say that you're my brother, and your opinion of me is biased."

Mark laughed. "I may be biased, but Ava you are beautiful. Don’t let her make you feel like you’re anything less. I am so sorry I never saw the way she was for years." He made his right hand into a fist. "I can not stand the way she treats you. How does Dad not see it?"

"The same reason you didn’t. She is good at making things sound like a compliment. She hides it better when other people are around."

"I really think we should tell dad."

I shook my head. "No, I have dealt with her this long, and she makes him happy. I don’t want dad to ever go back to that place he was after mom died. He was broken, Elaine put him back together."

Mark sighed. "Fine, but I will say something to her if she keeps it up." He leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Dad thought we could all spend the afternoon around the pool, and I have a surprise for you later."

I smiled. "What is it?"

"If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?" He winked.

"Ok fine. I am going to look over my resume, and get it ready. Then look through companies and decide my plan of action for tomorrow."

Mark nodded and got up. "Ok I will tell everyone to leave you alone so you can work, if you have any questions about some of the companies let me know. You've got three hours. Then I expect you to be by the pool."

"I will thanks, and I promise I'll be there."

Mark walked out closing the door behind him. I set an alarm for noon on my phone, and then pulled out my laptop and got to work.

Before I knew it three hours had passed, and my alarm was going off. I hit print and printed out twenty resumes, then shut my laptop off and closed it. I grabbed my swimming suit out of the drawer and changed. I looked in the mirror and sighed, running my hands down my sides and turning around to look at myself. I decided to put my cover up over myself. I walked out to the pool. Charlotte and Elaine where laying in loungers, Mark was typing on his phone next to them, and dad was swimming.

"How did it go?" Charlotte asked. "Feel prepared for tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Yup Dad, Mark maybe you guys can look at the list I came up with later and give me insider info?"

Dad swam over to the edge, resting his arms on the side. "I thought you didn’t want my help?"

"Dad."

He laughed. "I'm kidding, of course I'd be happy to."

I looked over at Mark, who was laughing at his phone. "Mark excuse me."

"Oh sorry what?" Mark looked up at me.

"What has you so entranced in your phone?" I asked.

"You'll see." He smirked and stood up. "Yeah I'll look too. Are you going to swim with us?"

I shrugged. "I don’t know maybe."

"Oh come on shadow, swim with us!" I heard from behind me a huge smile spread across my face. I knew that voice and only once person called me shadow.

I spun around. "CHRIS!" I ran up and gave him a hug. He laughed and hugged me back. "I didn't know you were in town, let alone coming today."

"Surprise." Mark laughed. "I knew you'd be excited."

I smacked Mark,  then turned back to Chris. "Man I've missed you. It's been three years."

"I missed you too Shadow." He put his arm around my shoulders. We walked over and sat at the patio table.

"I hate that nickname."

Charlotte laughed. "Ok someone has to tell me about shadow."

I rolled my eyes. "Chris this is my best friend Charlotte."

Chris smiled and nodded. "Hi nice to finally meet you. Mark has told me lots about you."

Charlotte pulled her sunglasses to the bottom of her nose and looked at Mark. "Oh has he now?"

Mark stuck his tongue out at her. "Just about how much of a pain in the but you are."

Charlotte shook her head. "So, shadow, what's that about?"

Charis laughed. "Growing up Ava followed Mark and I around everywhere. It drove Mark nuts. She was our little shadow, so I started calling her that, and it just stuck."

I blushed and shook my head. "So embarrassing. I'm an adult now, maybe we could drop it?"

"Not a chance Shadow." Chris winked at me. "What are we doing anyways? Lets swim." He stood up and pulled his t-shirt over his head, and kicked off his flip flops. "Who's in?" 

I looked at his chest and couldn't believe it. He had somehow gotten even better looking over the last three years. I could feel my cheeks turning hot and turned to focus on something else. 

"Not me. I am working on my tan." Charlotte commented.

"I'm in." Mark ran to the diving board and dove in.

"What about it?" Chris looked at me.

I shook my head and stood up. I walked over to the edge of the pool and dipped my toe in. "Fine. I'm in too." I took my wrap off, Elaine looked at me and shook her head. I felt super exposed at her reaction and started to put my wrap back on, when Chris grabbed and it threw it away.

"Nope you already said you were in." He grabbed my waist and pulled me into the water with him. I screamed until I was under the water. I popped up and shoved him in the shoulders. He laughed and splashed me.

We swam for a few hours and then got out and ate lunch. "Lets go out tonight." Chris stated as we dug into sandwiches and chips.

"You guys should." Dad smiled.

I nodded. "Ok sounds fun."

"Somewhere we can dance." Charlotte added.

"Ooh yes!" Maybe I could even get Chris to dance with me, I thought. Making myself smile.

"We could hit up The Brick house." Mark replied.

"Alright then it's settled." Chris stood up and fist bumped Mark. "I'll be back to pick you guys up at eight."

"Well a night on the town that will be fun." Elaine smiled. "Ava do you have a dress or something to wear, that is..." She smirked. "Suitable?"

"Yes Elaine." Mark snapped. "She has plenty of suitable outfits to wear."

"Marcus. Watch you're tone with your step mother." Dad interjected.

Mark shook his head and stood up. "I'm going to take a shower." He walked over and kissed the side of my forehead. "Tonight's going to be fun." He whispered to me. He walked into the house.

I looked at Charlotte and stood up. "I think I'll go shower too."

"Me too!" Charlotte jumped up. "I am doing your hair and makeup tonight." She pointed at me.

"Ok I will let you."

We walked into the house and down to our rooms. "She is laying it on thick this time." I shook my head.

"Ignore her." Charlotte put her arm around my shoulder. "She really is a witch isn't she? Your dad is totally oblivious to it."

I nodded. "He is." I walked into my room and sat on the bed looking at the picture of mom and I. I wondered how different things might have been if mom were still here. She would never have talked to me the way Elaine always has. I thought back to when they first started dating. She was so nice at first, I really liked her. I liked how happy she made dad, and she was always giving me hugs. She would play Barbie's with me and dress up. I sighed and laid down on the bed. Once they got married though, all that changed. She showed her true colors. I'll never forget the day she told me I was fat and that she was putting me on a diet. I was ten, and it was the first time someone I thought loved me, made me feel like I wasn't enough, like I was ugly. I rolled over as tears started falling. That was only the beginning, things after that got much worse.