MY Brother

Chapter # 1

From the moment I saw Gabriel with that girl, my life changed forever.

I had that one intense last moment with him and then he was barely ever home anymore. He began to avoid me. Ferociously.

He started sleeping over at friends houses almost everyday. On school nights and on weekends, even holidays.

My parents were dumbstruck. They couldn’t understand it and I couldn’t even begin to try and help them.

Communication between the two of us pretty much ceased to exist.

When he was home, his door was locked and it was either way too loud inside of his room or completely silent.

I didn’t have the courage to bring up what had happened even once so I couldn’t even text him unless my parents asked me to remind him about something.

My heart was completely crushed to pieces.

It stayed like this up until the day he packed up his car and headed out to live in his dorm after graduating from high school.

I didn’t even get a hug from him at his ceremony. I didn’t get to give him a congratulatory hug…

I clammed up entirely. My parents eventually stopped trying to get any sort of information out of me.

As the years continued to pass, I let myself become numb to the agony of ‘losing’ Gabriel. I stopped antagonizing myself with the question of ‘why’ or any other.

This was my life now. Without him.

I told myself that I would always cherish the years when we were close. Even if those memories were starting to fade because I was determined not to hurt anymore.

I boxed up the way he had made me feel that day and refused to ever open it again.

***

I graduated from high school. Seeing my parents cry as I walked across the stage made me cry too. I was so incredibly happy and I hadn’t remembered the last time I had cried tears of JOY.

It had been four years since I had last seen Gabriel but I was at peace with it. At least I continued to tell myself that every single day.

I was now going to get to move away from our childhood home as well and clear across the country where I desperately needed to start over again and make new memories. New friends, hopefully meet someone who would be the love of my life.

I had, had a serious conversation with my parents before today. I told them I would be the one not to come home for the holiday for awhile. I wanted Gabriel to have a turn to see them if I was the reason he wouldn’t.

Of course they told me I was being ridiculous but I knew that deep down, they knew I was right.

All of this agony, confusion and heartbreak because of one single moment in time. So short. He had obviously said what he had because he was under the influence of something. Maybe he was trying to scare me away.

But the fact was that, I had realized my true feelings for him that day and there was no turning back now. I most definitely would have realized them some other way, another time if I hadn’t then.

He obviously felt bad and embarrassed. Ashamed maybe. I probably would never know.

No matter what happened, if he decided to try and talk to me again or apologize, those feelings were there so I prayed hard that he never did.

It was easier to stay away from each other. To stay completely disconnected. Because these feelings weren’t normal and they sure as hell would never be accepted by anyone else.

I was going to do the exact same thing that Gabriel had done. Pack my car and head out to college. I was going to be road tripping across the country from Pennsylvania to California all by myself and I couldn’t be more excited.

I had a good dinner with my parents after my graduation and we headed home where I’d gather up a few more things to bring with me. I would sleep in my bed one more time and then I’d head out before it got light outside in the morning.

It was nostalgic. Although I was excited to leave, excited for my adventure and excited for my future, I’d never forget my home and where I came from.

When we pulled into the garage, finally home, my parents both grew quiet at the same time.

“You two okay?”

I watched them look at each other and then both nod at the same time.

“Yes Gracie everything is okay. We actually have a surprise for you.”

I had a feeling it was more money. They wanted to make sure I had everything I could possibly need for my long road trip across the country.

“So, what is it then?”

My mom giggled. “We’ll show you inside okay?”

I smiled at her and nodded. “Okay.”

They loved surprises and I loved my parents. So even though surprises weren’t my favorite I would go along with this.

I followed them into the house only to quickly come to a halt right inside of the kitchen.

“Hi Gracie.” Gabriel was leaning on the kitchen counter like he had been there, anticipating our or rather MY arrival. I didn’t know how to greet him.

I felt like my heels were stuck to the linoleum.

“Well aren’t you going to greet your brother back? It’s been so long, aren’t you happy to finally see him again?” My dad nudged my arm, chuckling a bit.

Neither of my parents had any idea how awkward this was. Nor how breathtakingly handsome Gab had become to me.

His thick black hair covered his right eye and laid against his neck. He moved his head in a way so it swept up to his forehead and I could see into his piercing dark brown eyes that still had the same effect on me. Just as they did all those years ago, the moment he caught me watching.

My throat was dry again.

I forced an awkward smile onto my face, no teeth, just lips pulled up at the corner and I gave him a shaky half assed wave.

“He’s here because he’s going to accompany you on your trip! You picked the same exact college he attends! We wanted to do this for you after we found out where you wanted to go. Now you won’t be alone! Isn’t that just fantastic? You two can finally catch up and connect again Gracie.”

If only my mother knew. If only my dad knew… would he beat Gabriel’s ass? No, he’d disown me. I was the problem here.

How dare Gabriel do this to me? With the way he was looking into my eyes, you’d think he knew exactly what he was doing, what he did. Knew exactly how I felt and felt the same exact way…

His grin was so damn mischievous.

What was this really? Because he stopped talking to me a long time ago and refused to answer any kind of communication I tried to get through to him.

This felt like more than just a plan my parents came up with. This felt much more devious, much more calculated.

“Are you ready to catch up, Gracie? Because I most certainly am.”

All eyes landed on Gabriel with his statement and my suspicions suddenly rang louder inside of my head. What was he up to?

“I bet she is. She’s missed you for all of these years Gab. So much.” I wish my mother would just stfu to be honest. She was making this so much worse. And also, I could definitely speak for myself. Although it felt uncomfortably impossible right now.

So f*****g uncomfortably impossible. I was having trouble breathing.

“I’ve missed her more than words could ever possibly describe, mom. I’m going to make everything up to her and I mean everything.”

My heart skipped and Gabriel made sure our eyes locked again.

What was this? Oh God, I felt like I was hyperventilating.

“Grace?” My dad shouted my name right before I hit the floor.