MY Brother

Chapter # 4

Somehow Gabriel and I made it into the car. He decided that he was going to be the one to drive like I knew he would

I remember my dad teaching me how to drive and feeling a pit in my stomach thinking about how it would have been if Gab was there to do it.

That’s what we had planned on. I imagined laughing at all the mistakes I would make. Gabriel had always been a good teacher and I knew he would be patient with me.

I was now wearing leggings that went just under my knees, a tye dye t shirt and my hoodie. I didn’t even want to try and take the chance with the low cut tank top. I knew he would complain when he saw it.

By the time he saw it we’d be alone. Well, not in our parents' home. I knew how he would react. Or at least I had a feeling I knew how he would react.

I can’t say I didn’t want him to react possessively either. I enjoyed it when he did, no matter how badly it annoyed me.

There would be many opportunities to provoke him. It wasn’t hard and I had a very strong feeling that I'd see him be much more intense soon.

“What are you hungry for, baby?”

“When are we going to talk about you ignoring me for years?” I hadn’t even planned to bring it up so quickly. My mouth moved before my brain had the opportunity to think about what I was going to say.

“While we were sitting down eating. Is it pancakes, baby?”

I just nodded. He knew me well and always would. I hadn’t changed much. I wanted to hold on to the person I was when Gabriel was around.

****

IHOP had opened just as we pulled into the parking lot. Gabriel always had the perfect timing.

“Are you really going to tell me why you just stopped talking to me?”

He undid my buckle, his face close to mine and I inhaled him. It made me feel like I was high.

“Yes, Gracie. I’m going to tell you. Now let’s go in and get a table, okay?”

He kissed my cheek ever so lightly and I shivered. Gabriel made me feel like a bomb that could detonate at any moment. It was torture but I loved it at the same time.

I know talking about the past years without him would be hard but I also knew that no matter what anger I ended up feeling would fade.

Once seated, we both ordered our food. I looked around at the empty restaurant, there was not a single soul here besides us who didn’t work here.

I was desperate to hear what he had to say. Waiting to talk made me nervous.

“I cut off communication because you were so young. I’m sorry that I ruined our relationship Gracie. I’m sorry that I stopped being there for you. I didn’t want to taint what we could have had. It was wrong of me to say what I did to you at the time I did. But staying away wasn’t just for you or for us… I did it because I had come to a point in time where it was practically impossible not to treat you as more. I stopped seeing you as just my sister. I didn’t trust myself to be around you.”

He bit his lip and looked away for a long moment. I could tell that he was hurting and talking about this was affecting him just as much as me.

We had each lost our other half for so long.

“You were so young Gracie. You had so much left to experience. I refused to risk tainting any of it.”

I understood. Even though it didn’t take away the hurt and pain I had experienced during all those years, it calmed it. I could forgive him.

“It was my age…”

“That was the biggest factor, yes. I’ve been waiting for as long as you’ve been suffering. I’ve been suffering too, baby. Everyday was a day without you.”

He reached across the table and grabbed both of my hands. “I want to forget about the past, Gracie. Maybe not forget but I want us to focus on the present and the future now. Will you do that with me?”

“Yes. I need you to be with me. I can’t be without you anymore. But how do I know something won’t make you change your mind again?” My voice was shaking. I didn’t want to cry.

“I won’t ever let anything or anyone, including myself, ever take me away from you. I’ll never leave you again. No matter what difficulties we have to face now. I promise you.”

“It is going to be difficult isn’t it? We’re brother and sister. No one is going to accept this. What are we going to do?”

The service was quick since we were the only ones in here. At that moment our server was at our table giving us our food. We both thanked her and went quiet until she was completely out of hearing range.

“I have plans, Gracie, baby. We’re going to be okay. I will make sure we are safe. We’re gonna go somewhere no one knows us. We just need to get through college first. We can do this.”