Forever Mine

Chapter seven

Felix

Awkward.

That’s the only way to explain how it is right now with us. It wasn’t always like this. Hell, I remember when we were attached at the hip and you could only find one of us when we’re together. A lot of people just thought we were best friends for the longest time. They would see us together and think nothing of it because we had to be careful because of her brother, Craig, and my sister, Samantha.

Them dating and being out about it put a damper on us.

So, we hid what we had until they walked in on us and that was an awkward moment when they caught us making out and half naked in the basement. We all sat and talked it out and there was no animosity towards us and they supported us, but they told us to keep it a secret from our parents because of them.

That is when they came out with the truth and begged us not to say anything.

I kept that secret, so did Ollie, and we both still do, but in the end, I would take those awkward moments a million times over instead of what happened afterwards.

I just wish I knew what was going to happen before it happened, otherwise I would have changed everything.

There’s a reason why I told Aiden my father died and that night just confirmed more that what I said was true.

“Come on Ol. No one’s home.” I smiled at her, pulling her down into the basement with the biggest smile on my face. We’ve been secretly together for the past year and a half and are going strong.

The feelings I have for her are unreal.

Who would have thought that the girl I used to hate and not able to stand would be the girl I fell in love with.

Especially when we talked about our future a few months ago. I told her my idea, again, about joining the military but she was a bit uncertain. I saw the slightest bit of fear flash before her eyes, but when I told her it wasn’t set in stone, she relaxed.

But I feel like I needed to do this and I wanted to talk to her about it tonight.

Because we will graduate soon and I need to make a decision. College isn’t for me. I could go with her to wherever she decides to go, but something inside me is nagging me to do this. I had to do this.

We talked about this before when we were sixteen and she originally didn’t want me to follow her and supported my potential decision to join the Marines, even after I said I would go with her to Rochester but who would have thought that would be the night her and I officially started and that things would change.

My future suddenly included her in every way, but something inside me still nagged.

I wanted so bad to make my grandfather proud. He was the real father in my life.

“What if they come home early?” she asked, a bit of fear laced in her voice.

“They’re not going to and even if they did, they won’t think anything of it. I have my phone set to let me know if there is motion in the front door camera so we can…straighten ourselves out. My parents won’t suspect a thing. Craig and Sam have our backs and will tell mom and dad they went to get pizza.” I winked at her, linking our hands together.

“I don’t know…I just…I have this terrible feeling, Felix.” She mumbled.

“Do you trust me?” I asked her.

“You know I do.”

“Then come with me. We need to talk anyway.” I smiled at her as I kissed the top of her head. She nodded in agreement and followed me into the basement of my parents’ house.

My parents remodeled the basement for all of us to hang out in. It had a pool table where Craig and I would play while the girls could sit on the couches and watch or even kick our asses themselves. Hanging out with Craig and Samantha was always a blast, even if they are a few years older than us.

When we found out a couple of years ago they were dating, I’m not going to lie, it stung. Craig made the joke that because they were together that meant Ollie and I couldn’t be.

He said it was a joke and he meant it only because he didn’t know about Ollie and I.

Then dad opened his big ass mouth and said the same thing because it would be inappropriate.

But I didn’t listen. I couldn’t.

“Sit down Angel.” I smiled at her, pointing to the couch, “I think we really need to talk about what’s happening this year.” She went to sit down and sighed as I sat next to her. She instantly leaned her beautiful head on my shoulder as I leaned my head on top of hers, just cuddling. We’ve been avoiding this because I think we both knew what was going to happen and it was something we couldn’t stop, “What’s going through your mind?”

“I think I made a choice for school.” She said softly, “I got offered a scholarship to the school in Rochester. The one in New York, my first choice.”

“That’s amazing!” I said excitedly, “I am so proud of you. You deserve this more than anyone else I know.”

“But…”

“But what?” She sat up straight and took in a deep breath and let it out, unsure of what to say next. She looked up at me and gave me the softest smile and I couldn’t help myself but cup her face and bring her gorgeous plump lips to mine and capture them.

She melted into me as I melted into her, we always do. She brought her arms and wrapped them around my neck as I pulled her into my lap, making her straddle me. Our lips danced together so perfectly, getting better every time we kissed, while she moved her hips on me, making me grow and hurt, as all I wanted to do was throw her on the couch and make sweet love to her.

She was my first. I was hers. And I knew from the first moment we kissed, she was it for me.

I wanted Ollie as my everything, even at the ripe ole age of eighteen, I knew it was her.

But we had to follow our paths. She needed to go to New York and I needed to do the Marine thing.

“Baby…” I whispered as I pushed her away a bit. I leaned my head on her forehead and smiled, “We really need to talk about the fall.”

“Come with me.” she whispered. I looked into her eyes, mine wide, “I know I said before that you couldn’t, but I can’t live without you, Felix. Come with me to New York. We can make it work.”

“But…baby…I had…” and the door to the basement slammed open, only for my father to storm down into the basement and scream.

“Get out.” He yelled, pointing to the door, “Get out before I call your parents. You two are not to be alone again! You hear me!” he screamed, his face turning red.

Ollie jumped off me and I pushed her behind me, blocking my dad from her just in case he lost his last nerve and snapped. My father never hit me. He was never physically abusive but he was old-fashioned, very old-fashioned and knowing that his daughter was dating his best friends son, seeing us together put him in the red.

“Dad, please, can we talk about this,” I begged.

“I love him, Mr. Scanlon and he loves me. I…I…I know this isn’t conventional…” Ollie started but I shushed her.

“Dad, please. She means everything to me and I just…I know with Craig and Samantha I…”

“You two know better!” he yelled, “Your brother and my daughter are about to get engaged and we just…we can’t…go home, Olivia. You two are not to be alone together and if I catch you two again…”

I turned my head and looked at Ollie and she was crying. We shouldn’t have hid it like we did, but even if we came clean a year and a half ago, they still wouldn’t accept this. “Go home Angel. I’ll call you and we will figure something out.”

“Olivia. You are like a daughter to me, but you need to understand. Go home.” Dad sighed out. Ollie was about to kiss me on the cheek but I shook my head no as my dad stood there, arms crossed, waiting for her to leave. She slowly slinked away and ran out the door and once that door was slammed, dad turned back to me, “I told you before when you asked about asking her out on a date that it’s not appropriate!”

“I don’t get why! We’re not related. Who cares if Craig and Sam are dating? Them together shouldn’t affect Ollie and I!”

“You two are about to be brother and sister-in-law! That’s why! Craig came over and asked for Sam’s hand and I gave him permission! Why don’t you just listen to me you worthless boy.”

“If I’m so worthless, then why am I even here!” I screamed, getting angry. I tried to reel it in, but the comments he makes about me are terrible.

I’m not smart. I’m not bright. The only thing I have got for me is my smart ass mouth and my strength, which is why I take my frustrations out playing football so I can tackle people.

“She needs better than what you can give her!” he screamed, “What do you have to offer her? You are barely graduating high school! You work part time at the mechanics shop doing crap work! You’re not going to college! You have nothing to give her the life she needs and deserves!”

“The Marines!” I screamed, “That’s what I have to offer!”

He sighed and threw his head back, “And do you think it’s fair for you to put her through that s**t? I saw what that crap did to your grandma and me with my pa! Why would you want to subject her to a life of her being scared that you’re just gonna end up dead because you’re too damn stupid to make the right decisions! Why make her sit around and wait for a dumbass like you while you go around risking your life for a bunch of bullshit.”

“f**k you.” I seethed through gritted teeth, “f**k you. You never cared! You never supported me and when I make this decision you do this s**t? f**k that. I’m out.”

“You leave this house Felix, don’t you dare come back!” he screamed.

I pushed past him and ran up the stairs only to come face to face with my mom, bawling her eyes out, listening to everything. She tried to reach out but I pushed her out of the way and ran into my room and grabbed a bag and started to throw everything I had in there, anything that meant something to me, including the promise ring I wanted to give Ollie the day we graduated.

“Unpack your bag!” dad yelled as he came into the doorway, which just confused me even more. He literally just told me to get out and now he's trying to get me to unpack?

“No. I’m done. All you do is put me down and make fun of me because of my learning disability. You don’t care about anyone but your precious daughter and this stupid ass ranch. I’m forever the family disappointment, the black sheep, and you know what? I’m embracing it. f**k you. f**k this house. f**k this ranch. I’m done.”

I went to walk by him when he grabbed me by my arm and held me there, “I mean it child, you walk out that door and don’t you dare come back.”

“Dead to me. You are more dead to me, more than you were before.” I ripped my arm out of his grasp and ran out the door to my jeep.

The only two things in my name. My car and my phone and, at least, that is something he can never take away. I pulled out of the driveway and started to head down to my recruiters' place. He knows the history between my dad and I and always told me if I needed something to just stop by.

I was going to prove dad wrong. I’m going to make something of myself. I’m going to be somebody and he can eat his damn words. As I was driving, Ollie was blowing up my phone but I couldn’t talk to her right now. I just couldn’t because I would lose it. She knows how my dad treats me, she’s seen if first hand multiple times.

I just needed time to wrap my head around what happened.

I just walked out on my family.

Then Sam started to blow up my phone, making me groan.

I ignored everything and pulled into his driveway, parking the car. I walked up to his door, leaving my bag in the car because, after this, I was going to have to find somewhere to stay, and knocked, only for him to open it and give me a surprised look.

“Sign me up.” I mumbled, "Sign me up and get me out of this damn place."

“Come in, Scanlon. I take it you need a place to stay?”

“Nah. I just wanted to let you know to get the paperwork ready. I’ll probably head down to the school and crash there.” I shrugged, “Not like my dad cares. My mom just let it all happen and I can’t go to my girl’s house.”

“Shut up and get inside. Take the spare.”

And that night was the first step to signing away my life to the Marines.

I just made the mistake of not talking to Ollie about it first…

“Felix?” she whispered next to me. I turned my head and looked at her while I parked the car in the driveway, “Can we just…be cordial at this dinner? I don’t want any drama. I don’t know the last time you were here but…”

“I haven’t been inside that house since I was eighteen, Ollie. You know...that night I signed up...” I shrugged, “And there won’t be any drama because we’re not together and that’s all my dad cares about. Let’s get this over with.”

I got out of the car and she followed as we walked to the front door of my dad’s house. I kept my hands in my pockets even though I so badly wanted to reach out and hold hers, but I couldn’t, not here. I hated this place. I hated being here. The only time I come is to take care of Buck and the other horses or when they go to Dallas for whatever they need to do.

I haven’t spoken to my dad since the last time I got injured, well before the last time. It was when Aiden and I were in an ambush and we both got shot. I called mom to let her know I was okay and dad grabbed the phone from her and said I was a failure.

Like I said.

Dead. To. Me.

That was the last time I spoke to him. Well, I didn’t say anything. I just hung up. Every time I come over, I don’t go into the house and I don’t speak to him, per his rules. I’m only allowed in the barn.

Works for me. Horses have better conversational skills than that man.

Ollie knocked on the door and we just stood there until my dad opened the door. He glared, looking between the both of us and I can see what he was assuming.

“Don’t.” I said, looking at him right in the eye, “Don’t think about it. Nothing is happening. We have the same friends, that’s all. Can we get this over with?”

Without a word, he held the door open and let Ollie in first. As soon as I stepped through the doorjamb, he stopped me.

“What did I tell you?” he glared.

“For f***s sake,” I groaned, “You had mom call me and tell me that you wanted us both here for some family meeting crap.”

“I never said you boy.” He continued to glare, “Just her.”

“Sweetheart,” I heard softly from behind dad, “I think it’s time we put this feud behind us.” Mom whispered with pleading eyes.

“No. I told him before once he left he was not to come back in and…”

I stopped him with a laugh. I couldn’t help myself, I just lost it, “You know, it’s fine! It’s all okay! Things will never change, will they?” I yelled through the door. At this point, Ollie was standing with Craig watching. Mom was trying not to cry as Ollie and Craigs' mom and dad came around the corner, “You could never accept the fact that I once had feelings for Ollie will you? All because of Sam. You treat me like crap and put me down, but you know what? Thanks! It turned me into who I am today.”

“Yeah, a son of a b***h who has nothing to show for himself but a few battle wounds because you couldn’t even protect your brothers the right way. Such a goddamn failure. You killed them like you killed your sister.”

My face dropped to no emotion. This is why I don’t come over. This is why I don’t do home visits.

Him.

I looked over at Ollie, whose face dropped in pure shock. Craig looked like he was going to punch my dad in the throat while Ollie’s parents stood there, looking at me, shaking their heads. They agreed with him and his backwards way of thinking because our parents couldn’t accept the truth.

Ollie was about to step forward but I just shook my head and turned around to go back to my car, “You’re not welcome here Felix! Not even to see that damn horse of yours. You come back onto this property and I’ll have you arrested for trespassin’!”

I looked back over my shoulder and didn’t show anything. I was pissed and I knew if I was going to open my mouth I was going to say something and regret it.

With a slam of my door, I sped out of the driveway without ever lookin’ back.

I lost my home, my entire family, when I was eighteen and never got it back.

Fuck them.

I blasted some music and made my way to Finn’s place. Now that him and Sawyer are home, I can go there and take my frustrations out in his basement. Memories of my past flashed before me.

The night my sister died and how he blamed me and how he told me I wasn’t allowed at her funeral because her death was all my fault.

The day I left for bootcamp and how he never showed up to say bye and how all he did was let mom call me and not allow her to show up.

Graduation and how the only person, and I really mean the only person, to show was Craig.

How he never once talked to me, not even during the holidays, or asked how I was doing, and whenever I called to try to make amends and be the bigger person, he said horrible s**t to me and hung up on me.

And when I told mom about my injury, he blamed that on me too.

And the fact that mom let him say that s**t to me and never defended me? Bullshit. And the look on Ollie’s mom and dad's faces told me they agreed. The imagine of them crossing their arms over their chests and shaking their heads at me…fuck them all.

I rounded the corner and went right into the driveway as soon as Finn was unloading the car with their bags. He furrowed his brow at me, confused as to why I was here.

“Hey. I know you just came back but I need to borrow your basement.” I mumbled.

“Yeah, help me bring the bags inside and you’re good.” I grabbed two suitcases and followed him to their room, “You want to talk about it?”

“Nah. I’ll be okay once I punch it out.”

“I know I’m not Aiden and I will never be him, but Felix, we’re friends and I want you to know I’m here whenever you need to talk. I know I said to come over later tonight in my group message, but if you’re here now, then it must be important.”

“Funny thing, I didn’t even know you sent a group message. I just knew you were home and needed your basement.” I shook my head.

“Okay. Go downstairs and I’ll call the rest of the guys. Who’s got Miles?”

“Gage is picking him up for me.”

“Okay. I’ll call them all and I’ll be down in a bit.”

Without a word, we went our separate ways. He went to help Sawyer and send out another message and I went right downstairs, looking at the gloves he had for all of us, grunted and went right to the bag.

With every punch, every grunt and every bead of sweat that rolled down my face and body, I slowly took my anger out on his bag. After about five minutes, Finn came down as I kept pounding on the bag, tensing my muscles as I continued to beat up on the bag, imagining my dad's face with every damn punch.

“So spill…” Finn said as he walked down the stairs with Jordan and Dylan trailing behind him, “What the hell happened?”

And with a couple of final punches on the bag, ignoring them as they stood there and watched, I made a final scream, a final punch, I knocked the bag off the chain hanging from the ceiling, my chest, heaving in and out as my body and clothes were soaked in sweat. I just stood there, looking at the bag lying on the floor as I tried to calm myself down.

“Woah…what the f**k happened?” Dylan asked as he came over to me and grabbed my shoulder, making me tense.

“Do you have whisky? Because I’m going to need a lot of it and you might need it too after hearing what happened.”

“I’m sober…” he mumbled.

“This might make you relapse.” I mumbled as I sat my fatass on the mats and let my head fall, “Because…I was at…” and my phone went off.

And all I could do was groan.