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I wanted to be alone with my thoughts on the drive home. As I drove, I replayed the afternoon's events in my mind's eye. Feeling overwhelmed was the understatement of the century. What was I thinking about having s*x with River? With his sister in the next room? That was the problem; I hadn't been thinking; I had just reacted and let myself go in the moment. River had promised that things wouldn't change between us, but how could they not? And who exactly was I supposed to talk about this with? f**k my life! What did I just do? I pulled into the driveway, parked, and texted River that I'd made it home safely. I went into the house and upstairs to my room. I locked my bedroom door and went to have a hot shower. I stood under the cascading water, trying to ease the tension in my shoulders