Calanthe

Kabanata 5 (II)

I was mostly disappointed for the weekend but I bounced back on Monday almost immediately.

Si Beatus, kinukulit ako kung gusto ko nga raw ba talaga si Carlo. Though after a while, he knew I was just messing with him, but he’s still a bit suspicious so it’s entertaining as hell.

“I know how you play with boys, Cala!” habol niya sa akin sa hallway.

Tumawa ako at tumakbo, yakap-yakap ang mga libro. “E ‘di ikaw na lahat ang may alam!”

I know what I want and what I don’t want.

Carlo is above the average human being, meaning he’s tolerable, which was saying a lot dahil galing sa akin. It’s because I can’t stand people most of the time. Para sa akin, kung hindi importanteng tao ay wala nang bilang lalo na’t wala namang ambag sa buhay ko.

As for Carlo, I don’t like-like him. I just learned to like him the way he is over time. He’s a gentleman, plus malinis manamit, punctual at higit sa lahat, maasikaso. If he says you’re his responsibility, then he’d really go over and beyond his line of work to prove just that.

His flaw was his face though, always looking like he’s out for trouble. But was it really? A flaw? Isa pa rin pala ay ang pagiging kaskasero niya.

Na-disappoint man ako dahil hindi siya pumayag magpa-interview, wala na akong magagawa pa roon. I just tried not to dwell on it too much - the disappointment. It was no longer a foreign feeling as I already had a fair share of it through time, but it just always hit me hard the most.

“Kumusta ang second article mo, Cala?” tanong ni Orion, isang abalang hapon sa org.

“I have a new lead. I’ll interview Slade Limcangco instead. Hindi pa lilipad ang pamilya nila rito sa Sorsi pero gagawan ko ng paraan para makapanayam ang panganay na apo.”

“Limcangco? As in… Juanito Limcangco, the d-drug lord?” Namutla si Orion.

Kita ko ang pagtigil ng buong kwarto. Tumaas ang kilay ko.

The Limcangcos were much more chaotic than the Delgados. At least the latter knew how to hide their monstrosity from the public dahil ang nauna ay bulgaran talaga. Masama na kung masama. Kaya rin siguro hindi ganoon pinag-uusapan dahil sanay na silang pamilya ng mga kriminal, ‘di tulad ng mga Delgado na minsang naging respetado bago bumagsak sa katotohanan.

But those dark times were almost half-century ago. Nagbago na rin daw ang pamamalakad ng kanilang family business kaya malakas ang loob kong kumana ng interview.

“Juanito Limcangco is dead already. Slade, his great-grandson, I heard, would be transferring here later this year. So, it might be a good exposure?” kibit-balikat ko.

“Just do what you have to do.” Walang nagawa si Orion at nasabihan ko na rin naman tungkol sa pagtanggi ni Carlo.

I gave it a shot. Carlo didn’t approve, so we respected it. We’re not like the other unprofessional schools na madalang lang manalo dahil source lang na pinagkukunan ay hindi pa credible.

Medyo nagtagal ako sa org dahil bukod sa pag-check ng mga gawa ng probi, tumulong na rin ako sa brainstorming ng magiging layout ng paper kung sakali.

The sun had already gone down as I went out of the building. Tanging mga poste ng ilaw na lang ang nagbibigay liwanag at nagsisimula na ring humuni ang mga kuliglig. My eyes were dropping when I saw Carlo stand up from the small waiting shed and jog across the road to meet me.

“Sorry. Ginabi kami.” Napahikab ako.

“Ayos lang. Kunin ko na ang gamit mo, madam.”

“Thanks…” I yawned again as I gave him my bag and tumbler.

Bago sumakay ng sasakyan, umilaw ng dalawang beses ang nasa tapat na kotse. Kay Orion iyon kung saan nag-iintay rin si Beatus, gagala pa ata sila mamaya, all boys. Kumaway ako sa nakasungaw na ulo ni Bee at pumasok na.

“Si Dad? Nasa bahay na?” I asked once we’re on the road.

“Wala pa, madam.”

“Huh… Umuuwi sa umaga pero nagpapagabi naman…” Naalala ko iyong natapunan ako ng juice at umuwi sa bahay, saktong nandoon din siya.

Nagtanong din ako kay Banjo at last week nga daw, umuwi na naman noong tanghali.

“Si Daisy? Tulog na?”

“Kumakain na ng dinner no’ng dumaan ako kanina sa bahay n’yo… madam.”

Tumango-tango ako. Si Mara lang ang hindi ko tinanong dahil nag-text naman na sa aking nakauwi na kanina. We have different drivers since we have different schedules. Sa org naman, mas magaan ang trabaho niya kaysa sa’kin kaya mas maagang umuuwi.

“Dalhin ko na ‘tong mga gamit mo sa study, madam,” ani Carlo nang makarating na kami sa bahay.

Banjo was already waiting at the front door, nakatingin sa aming dalawa. Tipid akong tumango kay Carlo… though, deep inside me, I wanted to be nice once again but to apologize this time.

Medyo naging imposing ako nitong nakaraang linggo, isang diretsong ganoon. Nito lang ako natauhan na hindi talaga siya papayag kaya iyon ang sinabi ko kay Orion. Naintindihan ko rin sa wakas kung ano ang naintindihan ni Beatus nang nag-usap kami noong weekend.

Carlo values his and his family’s privacy. Siya nga mismo ang nagsabi sa akin na… hindi na mababago ang nakaraan, ang pwede na lang gawin ay mamuhay nang payapa. He already knows he’s a bastard and that wouldn’t ever change, so he was just trying to live on. Be himself. He doesn’t need my words to remind him of his identity.

At one point, because he was so good at taking care of me, I even felt that he values his job too. Syempre nga naman, driver ko pa rin siya tapos ay sasamantalahin ko at i-interview-hin?

I felt guilty because I was easily blinded by the recognition that I might get if ever I would write his dark story. Wala mang saysay madalas si Beatus, tama siya nang ipamukha sa aking may buhay ang taong ito at hindi lang basta nabuhay para maisulat ko at kalimutan din.

No… It would be the highest sin for me as a journalist. And… If ever there would be a chance, in another universe, which he might have said yes to me, I could only hope that I wouldn’t be writing his name and his life. I hoped I would get to claim his name and live in his life as I wrote the pieces down, word by word, because that’s the only way to write him.

There’s just something about Carlo that makes me want to immortalize him through carefully carved out paragraphs.

“Cala, Carlo, pasok na’t mahamog…” Naulinigan ko ang tawag ni Banjo.

Napakurap ako, hindi napansin na kanina ko pa pala pinagmamasdan si Carlo. Hawak niya ang aking mga libro at bag, mukhang nag-iintay rin.

His frowns made a dent on the space between his bushy brows. Naiirita na naman ‘yan oh…

Grinning, I faked a yawn and instead of saying my apologies, walked with a straight posture.

“Hindi na ulit kita kukulitin tungkol sa interview, Carlo. Don’t worry…” My low, eerie voice danced in the dark.

Kung narinig man niya o hindi, wala na akong pakialam.

“Good morning, babe! How are you today?”

“Morning…” I greeted.

Kinabukasan, si Primo ang sumundo sa’kin sa bahay dahil aniya’y hindi kami nagkita halos kahapon. Nalimutan kong sabay nga pala kami today kaya nagulat din si Carlo.

“Oh, Cala and I will go to school together,” ani Primo.

Hindi gumalaw si Carlo na kanina pa nakatayo sa tabi ng sasakyan namin. Instead, he looked at me as if getting my permission first. Tahimik akong tumango.

“You can have the day off. Ako munang bahala rito kay Cala. Here…” Kumuha si Primo ng dalawang daan sa wallet.

Tumaas ang kilay ko ngunit nanatiling tahimik dahil gusto ring makita ang reaction ni Carlo. Medyo ma-pride din ang isang ito e.

“Take it! ‘Wag ka nang mahiya…” my boyfriend insisted when my driver only looked at the paper bills.

Nilingon ulit ako ni Carlo. Hindi na ako tumango o ano dahil parang alam ko na kung ano’ng gagawin niya.

“Pang yosi mo, manong!” sabi pa ni Primo.

Natawa ako. Manong?

Carlo glared at me before wordlessly taking the cash. Namatay ang tawa ko. I didn’t expect that! Akala ko ay lalampasan lang niya si Primo!

Now, it made me wonder if he’s truly struggling for money. Men like him always wanted to prove their point that they can and must be independent. He’s just built like that, I observed. Kaya nagtaka na tuloy ako kung nagpapakahirap ba talaga siya para sustentuhan ang sarili o sadyang mahirap lang?

Otherwise, why would he take Primo’s cash? Knowing he’s kind of irritated by him lalo na kapag naaabutan kaming magkasama kapag sinusundo ako sa hapon…

“Ililipat ko lang ang mga gamit mo.” Then Carlo started transferring my things to Primo’s red Vios.

“Okay…”

“So…” Primo held my hand, nakangisi. “Alam mo na ba ang usap-usapan kahapon? Nabugbog daw ‘yung Grade 8 na nagsaboy ng juice sa’yo…”

Kunot-noo kong hinarap si Primo though my eyes were still returning to Carlo.

“Si Fulgencio? Nabugbog?”

“Yeah. Everybody’s talking about it. Pero hindi naman daw napuruhan kaya baka pumasok pa mamaya. Gusto ko nga siyang makita.”

“Kailan nangyari ‘to?”

“Yesterday?” kibit-balikat ni Primo.

I was too preoccupied these past couple of weeks. Naging abala ako sa pagkukumbinsi kay Carlo at sa pagtulong sa org kaya naman hindi naging priority iyong nangyaring insidente noon. Though I wouldn’t let it go easily but this?

“Saan binugbog ang bata?”

“Hmm. Ewan.” Ngumisi si Primo at hinalikan ang likod ng palad ko. “Is it important, Cala? The message has been received, that’s what’s important. Now, people wouldn’t want to mess with you.

“Pero hindi ko naman utos ‘yon…” Kumunot ang noo ko.

At kung mag-uutos ba ako ng ganoong klaseng krimen, hindi ko pa alam. I was pissed, yes, but I believed Fulgencio does not deserve to take all the blame. Isa pa, bakit ako kaagad ang iniisip na nag-utos?

“Hindi ko pinapagalaw si Fulgencio. There’s no message I’m trying to send because that’s not my doing,” malinaw kong saad.

“Well, you’re the only one involved with him this month and with the motive to do it… So…”

“Hindi nga ako ang nagpabugbog do’n!” giit ko.

Napaigtad si Primo pero hinaplos din ang pisngi ko. “Woah! Calm down, babe. I’m not the enemy here. Calm down… At oo, hindi nga ikaw ang nag-utos. I believe you. But don’t you agree that Giovan Fulgencio deserved it? Sinabuyan ka niya ng tubig at hiniya sa maraming tao. Kung ako ang ginawan nang gano’n in public, hindi ko na pinatagal pa at pinatambangan kaagad ‘yan…”

I gritted my teeth. Yes… The boy deserved it… He should not be blamed entirely for humiliating me but… He deserved it.

With or without Primo’s words, as much as I hated to admit it, I believed he f*****g deserved it.

“Does it have anything to do with you?” Duda ako kay Primo.

“Hindi ahh…” He only smiled innocently.

Pinagsingkitan ko ito ng mga mata.

“Buti nga sa batang ‘yon. Para matuto…”

“Madam.” Carlo suddenly appeared. “Handa na ang mga gamit mo.”

Tumango ako at inutusan na si Primo na ihanda ang makina.

“I’m just going to get my iPad. It’s still charging…” I said before heading back inside.

Indeed it contained some messages about the assault on Fulgencio. A picture was circulating in our group chats. Hindi naman mukhang napuruhan. Isang galos lang sa mukha, sa bandang labi, at ilang bruises sa binti’t baywang.

Orion:

Walang black eye. Puro internal. Gusto yata talagang papasukin ang bata at hindi pagsuspetsahin ang guidance.

Ilay:

They’re careful. He could still dress pretty and attend school.

Bee:

Are you seeing this, Cala? Hello!!! Reply ASAP!!!

“Narinig ko kayong nag-uusap ng boyfriend mo, Cala.”

Napatalon ako nang maramdaman si Carlo sa likuran ko!

“Jesus Christ!” I held my chest.

Nanatili itong nakahalukipkip, hindi nababasa ang mga mata.

“Didn’t know you’re a tsismoso!” Humalukipkip din ako, yakap ang iPad. “Oh? What do you want to say?”

“No’ng sinundo kita sa school ninyo, ano ba talaga’ng nangyari? Hindi na kita kinulit dahil emosyonal ka at ayaw pakausap. Pero gusto kong malaman ngayon…”

I could’ve asked him why. Why now, and why… the hell does he care? But I found myself explaining it to him like it’s a burden in my chest and he’s the only one who could lift it.

“May nagsaboy sa’kin ng juice sa harapan ng maraming tao. Ipinahiya ako, Carlo! That’s the first time it ever happened and it’s f*****g humiliating. I was shocked no’ng inabutan mo ‘ko, ‘di ba? Because I’m not used to that s**t and until now, I still get anxious about it.”

“Bakit sa tingin mo nasabuyan ka?” Kumunot ang kaniyang noo, mukhang immersed na immersed sa kwento ko.

“That’s the mystery to it! Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. Maraming galit sa’kin pero wala akong maalalang inagrabyado ko… nang malala! Then I realized, it’s not an innocent play to just humiliate me because of my status and wealth. It’s a devious plan… of a jealous woman.”

Nagngitngit ako nang maalala ang taong maaaring nag-utos kay Fulgencio na gawin iyon. What an imbecile woman.

Siya lang naman ang naiisip ko na gagawa ng ganoon dahil sa selos at inggit sa akin.

“May nagseselos sa’yo?”

“Kung alam mo lang.” Humalakhak ako. “Inggit na inggit silang lahat sa akin. Especially the girls. What’s not to be envious about anyway?”

Tinaasan ako ng kilay ni Carlo. If he disagreed with that, hindi na niya binoses pa.

“Nasabuyan ka ng juice dahil may nagseselos na babae sa’yo? Iyon ang dahilan?”

“I believe so but I still need to confirm it. At alam mo ba…” Tapos ay kinwento ko pa kay Carlo iyong misteryosong pagkakabugbog ng Grade 8 na ‘yon.

“Baka naman hindi dahil sa selos ng babae kung hindi dahil sa lalaki, Cala?” he stated seriously after listening to my rant.

Surprisingly, it was too easy to tell him all that. Masyado kasi siyang attentive makinig na para bang nasasarapan kang magkwento nang magkwento?

“Ano’ng ibig mong sabihin na dahil sa lalaki?”

“Wala namang magseselos kung walang pinagseselosan. Huwag mong sisihin lang ang babaeng nag-utos kamo na sabuyan ka ng juice. Tingnan mo rin sa ibang anggulo. Kung bakit siya nagseselos sa’yo? Baka dahil sa lalaki.”

I pursed my lips. I didn’t think of that. I only hated the act, not the reason for the act.

“Malamang ay hindi tinatrato nang tama ang babaeng iyon kaya ikaw ang ginagantihan. Wala ka naman kamong ginagawang masama para may mag-react ng ganoon?”

“Not that I know of. No.”

Tumango-tango si Carlo. “Baka nga nasa lalaki ang problema.”

Baka? I rolled my eyes at that.

“Maging alerto ka lagi kahit pa nasa labas ng school, Cala. Hindi biro ‘yung may batang nabugbog kahapon. At kapag may nangyari, tawagan mo ako kaagad.”

“Oh my God? You’re so serious, Carlo!” Typical high school drama lang naman ‘to!

“Pinagtatalunan n’yo ba ang Primo Aldama na ‘yan? Kaya may selosan na nangyari at sinabuyan ka pa?” kritikal na tanong ni Carlo, napapaiwas ng tingin.

“Hindi si Primo ‘yon…” sagot ko.

Wala namang nagseselos sa akin dahil kay Primo. Oo na’t maraming ding may crush sa kaniya pero hindi ganoon kalakas ang dating, ‘di tulad ni Roman na may die hard fans pa.

“Iba pa, Cala?” buntong-hininga ni Carlo.

“Iba pa.” Tumango ako at dinuro na ang pinto. “Well, then. I’m off to school. I’m going to be late. See you tomorrow!”

I only heard him sigh.