Pretend

“I can’t do this,” I say, as Serena and I walk toward the front door of Sebastian’s party.  Serena cuts her eyes to me. “You can totally do this.”  I’m a twenty-two-year-old virgin. Tonight that changes.  I spent all afternoon scrolling through the ridiculously small number of men on my phone. Danny, Alan, Gavin, and Pat. None of them are great options to accomplish the deed. Danny is too short. Alan is too nice, and I think has a girlfriend. Gavin is hung up on Serena, and I don’t want to sleep with him so that he can make Serena jealous. And Pat is not an option for so many reasons. But I need to find someone. Hence, why I’m attempting to get into the most exclusive party of the year. To find Mr. Perfect. I will not graduate from college next month still a virgin.  Who am I kidding? I once thought it mattered who the guy was. I wanted the ideal guy, to be in love. I wanted flowers and a sunset, followed by wine, candles, and a man who adored me and wanted my first time to be special. After four years of dating and no guy coming close to the picture I painted in my head, I’m desperate.  I want s*x.  Maybe my first time won’t be fantastic, but then I can experience a second or third time. And eventually, I’ll meet a guy to give me the toe-curling moment I only dream about now.  I stumble again in my heels, and Serena takes my hand and rests it on her arm. “Well, you can as long as you don’t fall flat on your face first.” She chuckles. “Although, if you fell and showed the bouncer you aren’t wearing any underwear, we wouldn’t have any trouble getting in either. So, it doesn’t matter what you do.”  I glare at her. “Well, that wouldn’t work because I’m wearing underwear. And I would like the school to not think of me as a laughing stock.”  “Who cares if they do? We graduate in less than a month, and you won’t have to see any of these people ever again.”  I take a deep breath, letting the air fill my lungs before slowly exhaling. Serena’s right. I can do this.  We strut, arm in arm, up the long driveway to the door. We get behind a group of loud girls chatting excitedly. I recognize them. They are in a sorority, and no doubt were invited. They are all in short, expensive dresses that accentuate their bodies and show how much money they are from. They don’t flirt their way in. They are invited in.  We are next, and my stomach is doing flips. My legs are shaky, and not just because of the heels my feet aren’t used to being shoved in. My heart is fluttering a million miles a minute in my chest. I should have taken a shot with Serena before we came.  “Name?” the tall man asks.  “Serena Toomer and Larkyn Day.”  He scans his list, not bothering to glance at us. Our plan isn’t going to work.  “Your names aren’t listed,” he says.  “Let’s go,” I whisper to Serena.  She ignores me, looking past the bouncer, who won’t be seduced since he won’t stop staring at his clipboard.  “Sebastian!” she shouts.  My eyes widen in fear. “What are you doing?” I hiss.  “Getting you in so you can get laid.”  Sebastian turns in our direction and grins at us goofily. He doesn’t know either of us, but Serena smiles at him and his eyes drag over my low-cut dress, and suddenly he’s walking our way.  “Hey!” Sebastian says, and my heart sinks. I bite my bottom lip to keep from drooling. He’s hot in his dark jeans and buttoned down shirt, which is open at the top, revealing his muscular chest. All he said was ’hey,’ and my body reacts like he said the most charming pickup line. I need to get laid, so I stop fawning over every guy like this.  “Hey, we aren’t on the list. A mixup, I’m sure. Any possibility you can change that?” Serena asks, shoving me forward, so my body brushes against his.  I’m going to kill her for this later.  But it does the trick. Sebastian’s eyes glue to the cleavage the dress makes me appear to have, and then down to my abs, defined beneath the material. “Absolutely!” Sebastian holds out his arm to me, and I nervously take it. I cut my eyes to Serena who winks at me as Sebastian leads me into his house.  “I’m sorry you weren’t on the list. I don’t know how I missed a beautiful woman like you. I wish we had classes together so I could have noticed you earlier.”  I bite my lip and blush. “We do take a class together. You are in my marketing class.” I don’t add we did a group project together last year in finance, and he has been in almost every single one of my classes starting freshman year since we are both on the same business track.  He doesn’t blush or show signs of embarrassment. I wish he would have noticed me before or realize who I am. I know his name and who he is.  “What’s your name?” he asks.  “Larkyn Day.”  He grins. “I love that name. I’m Sebastian King.”  His smoldering blue eyes look at me, and my heart is his. I don’t know how I ended on the arm of Sebastian, basically the king of the popular crowd, and I know that soon, he’ll be leaving me alone to enjoy his other guests, but I’ll remember this moment forever.  “Can I get you a drink?” he asks.  I nod, knowing this is when he dismisses me. I look hot, but I’m not hot enough. I’m wearing a nude colored sparkly dress, but it’s not slutty enough to compare with the women skirting around us in dresses that are so short they can’t wear underwear. Their dresses leave no curve on their bodies to the imagination. While I, I just hope this dress is enough to snag one decent looking guy that isn’t already too drunk to f**k me.  Sebastian leads me over to one of the bars and gets me a white wine without asking what I want. He gets himself a beer. I start peering around for where Serena is so she can help me find a guy for the night.  I feel a hand on my waist and glance down to see Sebastian’s hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him.  “Do you have a date for tonight?” he asks, leaning down to my ear so he can talk to me over the loud music blasting through the house. The band is out back, and we are in the front of the house so I can only imagine how loud it is out back.  “No,” I say, taking a sip of my wine, so I have something to do with my hands, and I can stop blushing. The wine tastes overly sweet. I don’t often drink, caring too much about staying healthy, but when I do, I rarely choose wine.  “Good, I needed someone to hang out with tonight.”  Yep, now I’m blushing again like an i***t. I need to stop getting so affected by this man. I’ve had a crush on him since forever, but that doesn’t mean anything. He’s just being nice. He won’t be the guy that pops my cherry. Even though I should be searching for that guy, I can’t pass up an opportunity to spend some time with Sebastian first.  “You don’t have a date either?” I ask, finally getting my voice back.  He looks down at me, his eyes lingering on my cleavage. “Now, I do.”  My heart stops. Sebastian did not just say that. I must have misheard him. He’s the most popular guy at our school. He can date any woman he wants. He’s f****d most of the popular women. He doesn’t want me to be his date.  But the way his hand grips my waist, as he starts leading me outside, it seems I heard him right.  Eyes. That’s all I see when we walk outside, where the band is playing by the infinity pool. Everyone’s eyes are on me. The guy’s eyes rake over my cleavage and smirk at Sebastian approvingly. While the women alternate being glaring at me and giving Sebastian a sweet, come-here look.  I swallow, trying to get the lump in my throat to go down, but it’s no use. I’m not in my element. I don’t do parties. I don’t hang out in crowds. I don’t like attention. I prefer running down the road by myself with nothing but my playlist to keep me company.  Sebastian ignores the stares and leads me over to where a group of his friends is hanging out drinking their beer and wine around a cocktail table.  He greets them, but never takes his hand off my waist.  “And you are?” one of the women to my right asks. Her voice is much too high. And she chugs her wine in one motion, before she looks at me again, as she makes a noise in her throat that sounds like a threatening growl.  “I’m—”  “This is Larkyn. She’s my date for tonight,” Sebastian says, pulling me tighter into his body, so I get a whiff of his cologne. It’s a strong scent, and it seems he used too much, but it doesn’t matter. He’s still appealing no matter how much of the stuff he uses. Especially, when he keeps calling me his date.  The woman scuffs and signals the waiter for another drink. The three men standing around the table all chuckle in unison like they know a secret I’m not in on.  Sebastian glances behind us. “Dance with me.”  “Um…” I don’t get a chance to say I don’t dance. That I’ve never danced. He takes the last swig of his beer before taking my almost full glass of wine from my hands and sets it down on the cocktail table. His hand moves to the small of my back as he leads me to the dance floor. My body feels hot as I gaze around at all the other people on the floor grinding their bodies together. It doesn’t look like dancing. It looks like s*x.  My eyes stare up at Sebastian’s as he stands in front of me and starts moving to the music. While I stand frozen. I don’t know how to dance to this music. He doesn’t seem to notice. Instead, he grabs my hand and gently pulls me to his body. He twirls me around and grabs my hips, pulling me to his body, so my back presses against his front.  His hands guide me, as his body sways to the music, and I do the same. Our bodies glide together to the beat of the music. I don’t know what to do with my hands, but I find them running over his, which glue to my hips.  I spot Serena out of the corner of my eye. She’s dancing with her boyfriend. She must have snuck him in.  I smile.  Tonight is going to be a good night, even if nothing else happens. Dancing in Sebastian’s arms, I can pretend I’m his. Pretend I live in a world of popular kids with fancy cars. I can pretend this is what I want. And who I am.  “You smell incredible,” Sebastian says, grinding harder until I can feel the strain of his erection against my ass.  I blush. I can’t take a compliment.  I want to turn and look at him, but I don’t dare. My knees are already weak enough. If I turn and see his blue eyes staring at me like he wants to devour me, I’ll lose my mind. I’d probably melt right here. Merely disappear into a puddle on the floor. Or worse yet, he might kiss me, and I’m afraid the act of him sweeping his tongue into my mouth might be enough for my body to o****m. Here, in front of everyone.  He needs to stop the public displays of affection before I lose it.  He doesn’t listen to my inner turmoil though. Instead, he makes it worse, by nuzzling my neck. And then, yep, I’m going to lose it, he kisses my neck, running his slick tongue across my sensitive skin.  My knees buckle, and he catches me in his arms, tightening his grip around my waist.  He chuckles. “Don’t worry; I got you. I’m used to women getting a little weak around me.”  My cheeks are bright red now. He’s cocky, but I don’t care. Usually, I would hate guys who say s**t like that. But not guys who are as hot as Sebastian is. Not when he’s holding me tightly against his hard body. I’m especially intrigued by the hardness, which continues to push roughly into my ass. Every time I move, it grows larger until I’m terrified, but also desperate, to feel the slick beast inside me.  Sebastian King could be my first. And that petrifies me. He could ruin me for all other men. Because it’s not like he will stick around after the first night. Not when he realizes how inexperienced I am in bed.  He starts kissing my neck again, and my eyes close, enjoying his touch and trying to forget about everything else. Who cares that this won’t last? I didn’t set out tonight to get into a relationship. I set out to find a guy who wants to f**k me. And Sebastian King wants to f**k me.  “Want to get another drink?” he says suddenly against my neck.  I moan. He chuckles again.  Shit, I need to stop moaning and getting weak in the knees every time he speaks, or he’s going to realize I’ve never had a man touch me like he’s groping me now.  “Drink?” he asks again, reminding me of the question.  Drink? He wants to get a drink now?  I sigh. I guess Sebastian isn’t as into dancing as I am with him. Drinking means he won’t have his hands all over my body as he does now. But I don’t have a choice. If I say no, he might stop hanging out with me altogether.  “Sure.”  I open my eyes as his hand slides down to my ass. I squeak when he pinches it, and I chance a glance.  He’s smirking at me, his hands guiding me off the dance floor back to where his friends are still drinking. I glance over at them as we approach with his hand still on my ass. They are all staring, and then the woman who asked who I was before is no longer blinking her eyelashes as she glares, trying to make me disappear with her eyes.  I swallow hard and turn my glance away from them, trying to keep my confidence to continue letting Sebastian touch me like he is.  My eyes lock with a pair of dark eyes. The eyes of a man sitting by himself. He’s holding a full whiskey glass, wearing a dark suit, which makes him blend in with the darkness around him. I can’t get a good look at his features, except for his eyes. Intensely would be an understatement. This man has already undressed me with his eyes, peeled off a few layers of skin, and reached my soul.  I don’t know who he is or why he’s staring. He glances away a second later, and I’m not even sure if he was staring at me.  I turn my attention back to the table as we stop at the edge of it.  A waiter appears the second she sees Sebastian off the dance floor and without a drink.  “Wine again or something stronger?” he asks me.  My stomach churns and my heart races.  “Stronger.”  He grins, liking my answer. He speaks to the waiter, but I don’t hear what he says, and a few minutes later I’ve taken three shots of tequila. I feel good. Amazing. And I no longer give a s**t what Avril and Naomi think of me. That’s what the bitches’ names are, I’ve learned.  I’ve also learned drinking with Sebastian is just as enjoyable as dancing. He’s spent the entire time with his arms wrapped around my body while he presses against me from behind. The only time he ever stops is when he has to speak with the waiter to get us another round of drinks.  “Hell yes!” Blake says. This is the third time I’ve heard him say, ‘hell yes’ to anything anyone suggests, so it’s not surprising he says it now.  “f**k yea. It’s finally warm enough to use the pool without you women complaining it’s cold,” Duncan says, eyeing Naomi.  Naomi doesn’t look at Duncan’s hungry eyes. She’s only interested in Sebastian’s. I try not to let any jealousy in. But I know Naomi and Sebastian have hooked up before. And if I don’t hold Sebastian’s attention, he could easily decide Naomi is the better option for tonight.  Sebastian holds a shot of tequila out to me, and I grab the glass, although I’m not sure if my stomach can handle another.  I suck in a sharp breath when I feel him place the salt on my neck. I’ve seen several of the men do it to some of the other girls here before. But he’s never done it to me.  I feel lightheaded, like I’m floating out of my body. Even though he’s had his mouth on my neck several times now, this feels more intimate.  “Shots!” Duncan yells.  Then, Sebastian’s mouth is on my neck, sucking, as he licks the salt off, and then we both do the shot. I shake my head, hating the taste since I forgot the salt first. I need to try this game in reverse, so I get to lick the salt of one of his body parts. But I’m not brazen enough to try it, not without his suggestion.  He grabs for a lime and expertly drops it, so it buries in my cleavage. I go to snatch it, but he spins me around and leans down, retrieving it with his teeth as his lips brush over my cleavage.  My body warms, and my thoughts shatter. That was…hot.  He sucks on the lime a minute and removes it, smirking at me as usual.  I’m frozen. I can’t move. I’m pretty sure I just dreamed that, because there is no way Sebastian had his face buried between my breasts.  But I get an evil glare again from Naomi, and I know it happened.  Sebastian interlocks his hand with mine, and he tugs me toward the pool, which has been mostly empty the entire night, except for the occasional drunk guy who decides to toss a girl into the pool fully clothed. Why do guys think that’s a good idea? Women hate it. There is no way they are persuading any woman to sleep with them after that.  I glance around, looking for the pool house or someplace where people are changing clothes. I don’t see one, but this house is large enough I’m sure there is one.  My eyes pop open when I see Naomi grab the hem of her dress and jerk it over her head until she’s left in nothing but her black lacy thong underwear. Her dress was low cut, so she isn’t wearing a bra, and she has no problem with the stares she’s getting. I’m pretty sure every man in the area’s erection grew at the sight of her.  Shit.  I can’t strip. I’m not wearing a bra either, and there is no way any guy here is going to be impressed by my much smaller chest.  Women all around me continue stripping down to their bras and underwear, while the men remove their dress pants and jackets down to their underwear.  “Oh!” I squeal unexpectedly, when one of the guys strips until he’s butt naked.  Sebastian laughs.  “Don’t worry. I won’t let Duncan touch you or come near you. You’re mine, for tonight,” Sebastian says.  I grin like an i***t. I love hearing him call me his.  But my grin falters the second I see Sebastian begin to strip next to me. His shirt is gone, revealing the muscles I’ve been feeling all night, and then his pants are gone, making his erection much more noticeable beneath his boxer briefs.  I gulp as my eyes rake over his body and become glued to his straining c**k. I need to stop staring, but I can’t. I want to know what that glorious erection would feel like rocking in my body. But it also terrifies me because I’m not sure my body is ready for such a massive intrusion.  “Like what you see?” he chuckles in my ear.  I force my eyes to drag up to his eyes instead of his c**k. But my heart hates me a little for it.  “Sorry.”  He lifts my chin up and then his lips are on mine. Exploring, tasting, devouring.  He stops and kisses me a moment later. “Don’t be sorry,” he says like the kiss was nothing.  Kisses mean nothing to a guy like Sebastian, but to me, kisses like that are rare. No, kisses like that never happen in my world.  I’m frozen as I watch Sebastian walk to the pool’s diving board.  “Come on, baby,” he says, doing a flip before diving in, in a perfect arch. His body gracefully hits the water and people cheer, holding up their hands, giving him a score of a ten for his incredible dive.  My mouth drops open, and I know I’m drooling. I snap my mouth shut, but it doesn’t stop my erratic breathing.  I start taking a step forward, needing to be in Sebastian’s arms. I realize I’m supposed to strip, so I hesitate at the edge of the pool while a dozen or so eyes stare up at me.  My hands tremble. I can’t do this. I can’t strip in front of these people. I’m not ashamed of my body, in fact, I love my body. But these people come from money. They have perfect bodies to go with their flashy dresses and expensive houses. Their parents have provided them with an incredible start to life with substantial trust funds waiting for them when they graduate to turn into billion-dollar businesses.  They are elite, while I’m ordinary. I may have abs of steel, but I don’t come from money. I didn’t get a boob-job like half the women in the pool to add curves. I’m flat, yet strong. And I have no intention of showing them just how ordinary I am.  Sebastian stares up at me expectedly, but even his gorgeous body isn’t enough to convince me to strip naked.  Then, I see Naomi swimming toward him planning on taking advantage of my hesitation. If I don’t jump in, she’ll be the one in Sebastian’s bed tonight. Not me.  My hand goes to my back, pulling on the zipper without thinking. The zipper slides halfway down and then stops. No matter how hard I pull the zipper, it won’t budge.  Naomi swims faster, and I jerk my body, trying to get the damn zipper to go down far enough that I can rip the dress over my head. The jerking makes me lose my balance though, and before I realize what’s happening, I feel the warm water consuming me as I crash into the pool.  I pop my head back up hoping people won’t care, but of course, they care. Laughter, hysterical laughter is breaking out all around me. Even Sebastian is laughing at me.  Dammit.  I give up. I can’t fit in with these people even for one night. Not long enough to get laid, that’s for sure. I should have stuck with someone in my own league.  Sebastian swims toward me.  “Here, let me help you,” he says.  “No, that’s ok—”  I stop when his hands touch my back. In the few moments of embarrassment, I forgot how electrifying it feels to have his hands on my skin.  He unzips the dress and reaches for the hem, pulling the dress off my wet body. No one can see my body under the water. This might actually work out for me. Then I move and realize my stupid heels are still on.  Before I realize what’s happening, Sebastian has lifted me to the edge of the pool so that he can work on removing my shoes.  Silence.  I glance around, as the stares burn into my body. No one is laughing. And the men are wide-eyed as they stare at my body. My cheeks flush and my heart races, but I soon realize they are looking at me like they ogled at Naomi. Even some of the women are gazing at me appreciatively.  “Wow,” Sebastian says, as he removes my second shoe. Somehow he already removed the first one without me noticing.  My eyes fall to his, as he stares at my boobs, and then my abs, like I did his c**k earlier.  “Like what you see?” I ask, boldly repeating his words.  He smirks and grabs my waist, pulling me back into the pool and to his body.  “f**k yea. Incredible.”  I smile.  “How did you get abs like this?” he asks, raking his fingers over my stomach. “I might need some tips.” He winks.  I laugh. “I don’t think you need help getting abs.” I glance down at his eight-pack.  He shrugs. “I guess we have something in common.”  He kisses my lips again without warning, while my legs wrap around his waist and my arms wrap around his neck. I’ve never been this naked with a man before. But I’m not sure I want to wear clothes ever again.  His kisses trail down my neck, and I shiver.  “You cold?” he asks.  I shake my head no, as I shudder again when he licks my neck.  He smirks. “We are getting out. Larkyn’s cold.”  I pout. “I’m not—”  His lips slam into mine again, shutting me up. I moan as his tongue brushes against mine. I kiss him back hungrily, knowing at least my kissing skills are on par. But if he wants s*x or a blow job, he’s going to have to take the lead, because I have no clue what I’m doing.  He finally forces me to stop kissing when I realize the others are protesting us leaving the pool.  “I’m sorry, but Larkyn’s cold. I’m going to get her some clothes from upstairs to change into. You guys enjoy the pool. We will see you later.” He winks at me to play along with being cold.  “Yes, I’m so cold,” I say, faking trembling again to keep up the ruse.  Sebastian chuckles as he carries me up the steps of the pool. I keep my legs wrapped around his waist, and my front pressed firmly against his chest, so no one gets a view of my breasts again.  “Let’s get you into some dry clothes, but first you need to get naked and have a hot shower to warm you up.”  I bite my lip to keep from smiling too brightly because I know what he’s not saying. He wants to f**k me. And I’m more than happy to let him.