Sunflower

Chapter 4

Lucy

5 years ago continued...

"Thank you guys so much for doing this for me," I say as Andrew, Annie and I take a seat at our table.

When Chris mentioned going out with friends, I knew that would be the only way I could be around him without turning into a blubbering weirdo. I'm much more sociable with friends and alcohol.

"I really like this place. We should come here more often," Andrew says, looking around.

"Yeah, it's pretty wild and the drinks are amazing," Annie adds.

We've chosen a hole in the wall place called Louie's, a local favorite, which is why it's always crowded.

"Hey guys," Cole smiles as he approaches us. "If this is a group date, I guess I'm the odd man out, huh?"

Annie and Andrew share a look. "What?" Annie asks, looking back at Cole.

"Yeah, we're not dating," Andrew adds.

"Oh," Cole grimaces. "Then I guess Chris and Lucy are the odd men out. Or odd man and woman out?"

Andrew laughs as if that was in any way funny at all. Cole smiles at him, making Andrew blush profusely.

"Actually, you and Andrew will be the odd ones out," Annie smiles, sipping her wine. "I invited Sam."

"Sam?" Chris asks raising a brow.

"You remember, from the party?" she asks him.

He looks from her to me and shrugs. I smile as he sits down next to me. "You look nice," he says, smiling back. "Of course, you always do."

"Thank you," I reply nervously.

"What are you drinking?" he asks.

"Oh...a raspberry mojito. It's really good."

"Can I try?" he asks.

I furrow my brows. "You...want to try my drink?"

He smiles, revealing the dimple in his left cheek. "What? I can shove my tongue down your throat, but we can't share the same straw?"

My cheeks flush and I quickly look down to hide it, making him chuckle. I slide my drink over to him and he takes a sip.

"Wow, this is really good," he says, sliding it back to me. "Almost as good as you were the other night."

"Wow," I say, covering my face with my hand in embarrassment, even though no one else heard him.

"Don't be shy now, sunflower. You weren't shy when you were on top- ouch!" He glares at me, rubbing his arm where I just pinched him. "Why did you do that?"

"You don't have to talk that way in front of my friends!" I hiss.

He smirks. "They didn't even hear me."

"But if they do, they'll never let me hear the end of it."

"If they do, they'll probably be jealous," he winks, leaving my mouth hanging open.

"There he is now," Annie hisses.

I look up and see Sam walking over to our table. Chris makes a face and looks down at his menu.

"Hey baby," Annie grins when he takes the seat next to her, pecking her cheek.

"He's baby already?" Chris leans over and whispers to me, making me laugh.

The six of us end up having a really fun night together, despite Chris' obvious disdain for Sam. I don't get the best vibe from him either, but I don't know enough about him to decide whether or not I like him. So far, Annie seems enamored by him, so he must have something going for him.

After dinner, we all make plans to go back to Cole's place to play trivia games that he found on YouTube while we were eating. The more I'm around the guy, the more if I start to wonder if we're the only friends he has. Annie and I just met him a few weeks ago and in that time, we've gotten close. He's a fun, sweet guy, but the way he's clung to us makes me wonder if he's going through something, or maybe it's just that he's decided he likes us more than his other friends? I mean, we are pretty damn awesome.

Before we leave the restaurant, we all head for the bar to do one last round of shots together. Chris grabs my arm as we walk along and pulls me back so that we're behind everyone else. My heart starts to race when he snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. "I was really hoping I'd have you to myself for at least a little while tonight."

I give him a bored look. "Really?"

He smirks. "You just assume my mind is in the gutter."

"It is."

"Okay, that's a fair assumption. But just so you know, I'm making a real effort here. I want to get to know you."

I look up at him in surprise. I'm a little tipsy, so I'm worried about what I might say. I don't want to give him the wrong idea, but I'm not in a place in my life where I have time for a relationship.

My mouth wordlessly opens and closes a few times, making his face fall. He looks down and nods. "Of course, if that's not something you're interested in, I understand that too."

"I'm sorry, I'm not looking for anything serious right now. I mean...I like you a lot. I'm just..."

"No need to explain," he smirks. "I told you, I understand. So...does that mean we can still do...other stuff?"

"Other stuff?" I ask in confusion, though it only takes me a couple of seconds to realize what he's talking about. My heart suddenly flutters and I turn three different shades of pink. "Oh..."

He laughs. "I'd like to think you really...enjoyed it," he says, his eyes turning more serious as he licks his lips. "I know I did."

Oh my God. I can feel my whole entire body heating up. My heart is racing. My head is spinning, mostly from the alcohol, which makes all rational thought go out the window.

"I did too," I finally reply, meeting his eyes and feeling our attraction intensify.

He looks around the bar at everyone, who is deep in conversation, before looking back at me. "I'm going to the restroom," he says, standing and touching my shoulder as he walks past me.

Just that one simple touch has my body on fire for him. What the hell is wrong with me? I've never been one to get worked up like this before. Especially so easily.

A few seconds later, I get a text. I look down at my phone and gasp when I see it's from Chris.

Chris: Meet me in the bathroom.

Me: What?! No!

Chris: Oh, come on! Live a little!

Me: I'm not doing it in a bathroom stall

Chris: No one is in here. It could be really hot, you know? Knowing we could get caught at any moment...

He's right...something about that, as crazy as it sounds, is really, really hot.

I swallow hard, looking around. Not giving myself a chance to talk myself out of it, I stand up and start for the bathrooms. I may not want a serious relationship, but Chris is hot. And I love the way he makes me feel.

Present Day

"I swear to God, I will never forget the look on Lucy's face when they came back to the bar!" Cole laughs, everyone else laughing along with him except me and Chris.

"She was embarrassed, but satisfied," Andrew smirks at me.

"So satisfied," Annie says, giving me a knowing look. "In fact, I believe after that night, Chris brought our sweet, innocent Lucy out of her shell."

"He did!" Andrew laughs. "They started doing it everywhere- all the time!"

"But remember how they were always like, we're just friends, guys!" Cole adds in a mocking tone.

"Yes!" Annie laughs before looking over at me and poking her lip out. She mouths I'm sorry and I only shake my head, looking down.

How can I keep listening to this? I can't let tales of the past sway my decision. I can't let the nostalgia make me forget that no matter how much we love each other, or how amazing Chris has been, he has a big opportunity that I won't let him pass over for me. I'm not worth it.

"They kept that just friends crap up for months," Andrew says. "By the time they actually told us they were in a relationship, none of us were surprised at all."

"And they actually thought we would be!" Annie adds.

"I remember that," Chris says, looking over at me.

I'm tempted to just get up and run at this point. I know what our friends are trying to do here. And I hate that it's working. What they don't understand though is it's not a matter of do we love each other or not. We do, very much. But love just isn't enough sometimes. Our lives are starting to veer off onto two different paths. Once that happens, whatever we had, no matter how strong it once was, will crumble to pieces. I have too much going on in my life now and I'd only be holding Chris back if I hang on any longer. He doesn't deserve to be pulled down into my pit of despair.

"Don't you agree?" Annie asks me, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I ask in confusion.

She smirks at me. "Let's go grab a drink."

I sigh in relief as I stand and follow her to the bar. Once we're there, she gives me a sympathetic look. "If we need to get out of here, we totally can."

"No," I say, hanging my head. "It's fine."

"We've been friends for too long for you to lie to me, Lu. You're not fine."

"I know what they're doing. But they don't understand...it's not just..."

"It's not an easy decision," she finishes for me. "And they don't understand because they aren't in your situation. You don't want Chris to stay here for you and miss out on an opportunity that he may regret missing out on later."

"Exactly."

"And you can't just move to Australia for two years. You just started a new job...you have...all those cats you want to rescue...and...Breaking Bad isn't going to watch itself, right?" she smirks.

"When you say it like that, it sounds as if I have nothing worthwhile here," I chuckle, throwing back the shot we just ordered.

"You do, of course. But what's more worthwhile than Chris?"

I give her a bored look. "You promised me you wouldn't choose a side."

"I'm not choosing a side. I'm simply letting you know this isn't just your decision. If he wants to stay, you can't stop him. And if he one day regrets his decision to stay, it's on him, not you."

"He's only staying because we broke up. He's not thinking about the future, he's only thinking about right now."

"No, that's what you're doing," she says under her breath.

"What?!"

"Nothing," she shrugs, throwing back her shot.

I knew Annie wasn't really on board with this, but it's starting to feel like she's blaming me. What am I supposed to do? Just let Chris stay here and miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime because our relationship is more important?

"Hey baby," Sam says, coming over to the bar and grinning ear to ear at Annie.

Ever since they got engaged, they've been almost unbearable to be around. They're so lovey-dovey, it's sickening.

Annie returns the same goofy grin and holds her arms out to him. While they get all mushy, I decide to make a run for the bathroom. It's time to start planning my escape from this dreadful night.

I make my way to the back of the restaurant where the restrooms are located, but just as I put my hand on the door, I pause when I hear my name.

"Lucy..."

I swallow hard before I turn around. "Chris..."

He searches my eyes for a few seconds, as if he's conflicted about what he's about to say. But then he licks his lips. "You know...this bathroom has a lot of great memories."

I'm surprised that he's bringing this up now, but he's not wrong. If I had a dollar for every time Chris and I had s*x in the bathroom at Pin's, I'd be able to pay off the rest of my student loans.

And that thought makes me smile. "You're right. It does."

"I know tonight has been weird, but I want you to know, I respect your decision even if I don't like it," he says.

I only force myself to smile in response, since I have no idea what to say.

"So what do you say we go out on a good note?" he shrugs, nodding to the door behind me.

I furrow my brows. "Really?"

He nods, licking his lips again. Something he knows drives me crazy.

Even though I know this won't end well, I'm too tipsy to resist his offer. So I grab him by the arm and push the door open.