Rejected Revenge

Chapter Seven

{Hope’s POV}

Pain

What exactly is the real meaning of pain?

They said pain is what reminds you that you’re alive, it reminds you that you’re breathing and that anything can happen. Pain hurts, that’s why they call it pain. And there are also many types of it; just like losing someone important, physically hurting, emotionality, and so on. The pain doesn’t end with the word, ‘it hurts’ because it will continue just like how life wants it to be. Pain, suffering, painful sacrifices, heartbreaks, betrayal, are some of the things that complete the word “life” because that’s what life is.

Both life and death have the same tendency to give us one thing; pain.

Life is a beautiful lie that everyone lives and chooses to believe, and death is the evil truth that people refuse to accept. Death is the only truth in this world, and people live believing in life to cope with the raw truth of death.

I was one of those people who are afraid to die. Anything can happen as long as you’re alive and breathing, and that’s why I’m afraid of death. I am the girl who loves to discover more about life, to feel things I’ve never felt before, to do things I have no experience of doing, I am that girl, but I haven’t got the chance to do any of it because I’m not free. My wings are tied, they will always be tied as long as I’m living in this pack, and that’s the thing, I don’t want to live in this pack, I was just waiting for the time, but that would never happen now.

And that fact hurts more than anything.

Knowing that you would never get the time to do what you want breaks my heart into millions of pieces. And now I realized something, never wait for the right time, there is no such thing as the right time, if you have the opportunity, take it and never let it go. You don’t need to wait if you know that you’re ready. And you want to know a secret? We are always ready, our minds don’t know it, we don’t know it but on the inside, I know that we are ready to do the things that matter to us the most. We are already readying ourselves unconsciously for the future if we really value it.

And believing that I wasn’t ready was the biggest mistake I have ever done in my entire being.

But regretting our past mistakes is just a waste of time because it can never change the fact that it was already done and nothing in this world can change it back. We can only learn from our mistakes and use them to become better people and to never make the same mistakes again.

I screamed in agony

My inside felt like it was burning. The feeling of twenty pack elite warriors punching my abdomen felt so realistic for me right now, and I am not stupid to not know the reason behind it.

It’s my mate. He’s sleeping with someone and I’m sure that it’s Cheryl. They are mating.

Nothing hurts more than this. I felt betrayed.

Max has been the love of my life since my eyes fell upon his face. It was clear as the darkness, surrounding me right now. His dirty blonde hair that’s always tousled in every direction because he likes to mess it up. The way his light brown eyes lit up whenever he looked at me and the way it sparkle in the sunlight. The way he would scrunch his small nose whenever someone would touch me in any way.

A small pained smile creeps up my busted lips as I remember how he glare at my father just because he was carrying me. Then, I remember the first time we met…

“Daddy, where are we going?”

“I have a meeting with the alpha. It is my responsibility since I’m the beta of this pack, and I’m going to introduce you to his son, Max.” My ears perk up for some unknown reason.

“Max?” What a pretty name, I thought. My father nods, smiling, the wrinkles beside his eyes showing as he smiles adoringly at me.

“He’s a little bit older than you but I know you two will surely get along. You’ll like him.”

A warm feeling swarms inside me. “How old is he?” I asked, curiously. My father lightly squeezes my small hand as we stop in front of a black wooden door with two-pack guards, guarding it. They are standing across each other with a stoic expression that made me clutch my father’s side.

They don’t look friendly to me.

My father turns to me and smiles softly. “He’s seven, not far from your age, isn’t he?”

I giggle. “I’m only four, daddy! He’s seven.” I showed him three of my little fingers. “Look, he’s like this older than me.” I saw my father open his mouth to speak but got interrupted when one of the guards spoke.

“Alpha David is waiting, Beta.” My gaze fall on the floor when my father nodded and tugs me to walk with him. I can’t look at the guards, they are scary and it’ll give me nightmares if I saw their expression one more time.

They open the door for us and we both enter. The first thing I noticed inside was the big man sitting comfortably on the chair behind the big oak table with many papers sprawled on it in a mess. He is intimidating, to say the least, and I immediately felt uneasy.

My father seems to feel my uneasiness ‘cause he give my hand a small squeeze and offered me a comforting smile that I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Beta, you took longer than I expected.” My attention focuses back on the big man who is now standing behind the table.

He has pitch-black hair and a tall figure that makes him look fat but he’s not fat but he isn’t fit either. Then, his grey eyes fall on me and a smile stretched out his face.

“You must be Hope. The beta’s only child and daughter. You look bigger than the last time I saw you.” He said, surprising me. He has this warm smile on his face that clearly screams “you can trust me” but I felt the opposite.

I look up at my father, blinking innocently and clearly not knowing if I should talk to this man or not. My father must sense my discomfort because he clears his throat and spoke.

“Okay, let’s start the meeting.” He pauses and looks at me. “Sprout, why don’t you sit there and play with Max?”

My head whips toward the couch that my father is pointing out so fast that my neck hurt but it disappeared the moment my eyes fell on the boy, sitting frozen on the floor beside the couch. Our surrounding seems to disappear because the only thing that I can see is him. He’s the only one that matters to me right now.

He’s also looking at me in a daze, his mouth slightly parted and a green lollipop falls from his parted mouth, and before I could stop it, a giggle escape from my lips.

He looks adorable

And the sound of my giggle seemed to wake him up from the daze he was in. I watched as his cheeks turns completely red when he realized the reason for my giggle. I pointed at the lollipop on the floor, still giggling and then I heard my father speak.

“Looks like I was right, you would get along well.” I smile and waved at the boy who quickly waved back at me with a goofy grin. I look up at my father, my eyes silently pleading, when he nodded, I did not waste any time and run quickly towards the cute boy.

He stood up and smile at me, I smiles back and did not beat around the bush, and introduced myself.

“I’m Hope Trinity Holden, four years old and three years younger than you.” His eyebrows raised in surprise, but it was replaced with a wide goofy smile.

“I’m Max Holden, seven years--”

“Yes, yes, I know. My daddy told me about you earlier.” I paused and blink thrice, assessing his facial features. Then, I continue. “But he didn’t tell me that you are this cute.”

His eyebrows met and he scrunch his cute nose. And with a small pout, he spoke. “I’m not cute.” My smile falters and my shoulder sagged. He stopped and look at me carefully before sighing in defeat. “Fine, I’m cute. But only for you.” The smile is back again and it was wider than the last one. He looks stunned for a moment before speaking.

“You are so pretty.”

I screamed again, and the pain was more painful than the last one. Tears in my eyes, blood on my lips and cheeks, bruises all over my body, a broken heart, and a lost soul.

How can I survive this? But do I really want to survive? Even if I live after this, I don’t think I would last. This is just too much. It’s been three days since Cheryl had visited me, it’s the day when I woke up after three weeks of being out and it’s been hellish three days.

When she told me before leaving that she’ll mate with Max, I never thought that she would actually do it. I’d begged her, I beg and beg but she still did it. She did sleep with my mate that night, and it became their everyday habit. Every morning and night, they are mating and I was restless ever since. Crying, screaming and begging but nothing happened.

It hurts. It hurts so bad.

“Please, stop!” I screamed, tears rolling down my eyes as I struggled to pull my hands off the rope to clutch my abdomen. My wrist is bleeding furiously as the rope seems to tighten every time I tried to pull my hands off. “Make it stop, please!” I close my eyes, silently praying for them to stop. It’s been two and a half hours since they started, they did stop for a couple of minutes earlier before the pain continues again and it’s been an hour since then.

While my mate and his chosen one who seems to be a total b/tch is moaning and screaming in pleasure in a comfortable bed, I am here screaming in agony, tied and half beaten. Where’s the justice in that?

Life sucks and I hate my life.

Life has never been fair and kind to me and I think it will never be, but don’t I deserve even a simple sympathy and mercy? All my life, I did nothing but be fair and kind to everyone despite the way they treated me, but it’s funny how life returns the favor to me.

I hate life. I hate how it treats me and I hate myself for being so weak. Maybe Cheryl was right about me; pathetic and weak. And maybe Max was right, maybe it really was my fault that he rejected me. Maybe it was my fault that Eve was gone. And it was my fault why this is happening to me. And maybe… I deserve this.

But do I really deserve this so much pain? It’s all so hard to take in. I was just with Lia and the next thing I know, I’m here screaming in pain, receiving so much hate and suffering that maybe I deserve.

I wish my dad were here. He always has something to say that’ll encourage me to keep going no matter how hard the problems life throws at me.

I remember his words when nobody wants to be friends with me and I can’t stop myself from crying for hours in his arms.

“Sometimes it just feels best to cry so our hearts can express themselves in a way that words cannot.”

He always motivates me, he and Eve had a lot of similarities, just like the fact that they are both gone and will never come back.

And it hurts so bad…

It hurts…

Do I really deserve this?