The Lieutenant’s Musician

Chapter 1: Permission to Rock-2

The rest of the show was all about him. At least for me. He played, staying in my line of sight, if not directly in front of me the whole time. I watched him, a sudden hunger for him growing inside me. I gave myself a mental shake. Cut that out, I commanded myself. He’s a famous musician. There’s no way he’d be interested in you. Besides, he was most likely married or had a girlfriend or something. I watched him play noticing that he didn’t wear a ring. But you never knew these days. Sometimes people didn’t wear their rings. I sat back, deciding to pretend for a while that he was playing just for me. That he was mine and when he finished making the crowd happy, then he’d come to me and play my body like his instrument. He’d wring the notes from me, pulling a response from me as he was doing that very expensive hunk of wood in his hands.

And all too soon, it was over. The band stood together, taking their bows. I watched him wave to the crowd and pat his bandmates on the back. His smile turned my insides to mush. As the lights dimmed and they started to head off the stage, he turned back, his gaze finding mine again. I watched as he walked back across the stage to stop in front of me. Slowly, he knelt and motioned for me to come towards the edge. Slowly, I took the two steps that put me in his personal space. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something. He lifted it to his lips, before holding it out to me. I lifted my hand and he lay the plastic in my palm. It was his guitar pick. I closed my hand around it, looking up at him. He stared at me for a moment, before standing and running to catch up with the rest of the band. I stood there, watching him, clutching his pick in my hand. Just before he disappeared behind the curtain, he turned back to look at me. I stared back until he was gone. Slowly, I turned back to find Amber grinning at me.

“Aren’t you glad you came after all?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. I had a good time.”

“I noticed. He noticed you too. What did he give you?”

I opened my hand to reveal the small, black, triangular piece of plastic. It was thicker than I thought it would be. Heavier. Amber took it from my hand to look it over and I had to keep myself from snatching it back from her. She gave it back as if she got one every day. Which I was sure she had a collection since Mickey also played guitar. But this was special to me.

“That’s pretty cool,” she said. “I think you caught his eye.”

“Nah. I was just sitting here in the front row.”

“Yeah right,” Amber scoffed. “He was playing just for you.”

I shook my head. I started to say something else but a big, burly man in a yellow security shirt came over to us. He introduced himself as Drew and asked to follow him. Amber handed me the badge and I slipped the cord over my head as we trotted along behind him to the backstage area. The guys were doing an autograph/meet-and-greet and a throng of people were already there, taking pictures with the band and getting autographs. Amber and I stood to the side with Drew. She’d told me that we’d be able to see them alone after the crowds left.

I watched the guitarist as he signed slips of paper or programs. Several women wanted pictures and he posed with them. I found myself feeling jealous as some of them draped themselves all over him. I wanted to go and yank him from their clutches. It was stupid. He didn’t belong to me after all. But I didn’t want them touching him.

Mickey nudged him when he sat back down at the table. The man passed him a quizzical look and he gestured to me. The man’s eyes widened as he saw me standing off to the side with Drew and Amber. I stared back at him. Damn, he was even more handsome in the light, if that were possible. His attention was called back to the woman standing over him, waiting for him to sign her program. When he moved to stand with her for a picture, she wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing as close as she could to him. I looked away, knowing that it shouldn’t bother me that she was draped all over him. He didn’t seem affected by it. By now it was probably old hat to him, he’d done it so often.

Finally, the crowd thinned and Mickey and the dark-haired cutie made their way over to where we waited with Drew. Amber’s face broke out into a brilliant smile and she threw her arms around Mickey’s neck.

“You were magnificent, babe,” she said, kissing him soundly on the lips. He squeezed her waist, pulling her closer to his big body. His cheeks turned red at her praise and I knew then that she had been right about him. He really was a modest, sweet guy. And he obviously loved her.

“Thanks, love,” he murmured before kissing her back.

The dark-haired man cleared his throat. Mickey grinned at him. Amber put her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “You were fantastic too, Cas. As usual.”

He slid his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground. His eyes met mine over her shoulder and I stared back at him, wishing it were me that he was holding like that. I looked away from them and he let her go, stepping back. Amber turned back to me.

“Ash, you already know Mickey,” she said. She took the man’s arm. “This is Lucas Caswell. Everybody calls him Cas. Cas, this is my best friend, Ashton Steel.”

Cas reached out a hand to me. “Nice to meet you, Ashton,” he said softly.

I bit back a gasp as my hand sank into his warm palm. His voice was soft and deeper than I expected. His dark brown eyes regarded me with the same intensity that I stared at him with. He wasn’t that much taller than me and the thought crossed my mind that he was just the perfect size to fit in my arms. But I pushed it aside. We were just meeting for the first time for Christ’s sake.

So I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Caswell.”

“Cas,” he corrected me softly.

I nodded. I knew I should probably pull my hand back but his was so warm on mine. And besides, he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to let go either. After a moment, he reluctantly let go. My skin felt suddenly cold without his touch. I saw Amber smirking at me from the corner of my eye and I knew I needed to get it together or she’d never let me live this one down.

“At the risk of sounding like some groupie,” I said to Cas. “Would you autograph my program?” I grinned at him suddenly. “Maybe take a picture with me?”

His smile was quick and drew out deep dimples. “It would be my pleasure.”

I watched his hand move as he signed his name on the front of the program. A shiver went through me as I remembered how those same hands had handled those guitars, wringing note after note from the wood until there was nothing left to give. My hand shook slightly as I took the program from him and handed it to Amber who stood ready with her phone to take my picture with a man who was by far the sexiest guitar player alive.

“Get together,” Amber said, turning on her phone’s camera.

I moved to stand next to Cas in front of the backdrop. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to his side. And because the other women had done it and I just plain wanted to, I slipped my arms around his waist. He glanced at me and I wondered if he didn’t want me to do that. He sure hadn’t seemed to mind when those other women did that and more to him.

I started to pull away but was surprised to feel his arm go around my waist and him turning into me. He rested his cheek against my head. Oh dear God he smelled good! It felt so natural, him holding me this way. We seemed to fit together as if made for each other.

“Okay, smile,” Amber said, oblivious to the tidal wave of emotions warring within me.

I pasted my smile on my face and stared into the tiny camera lens. I wondered briefly if Cas had smiled or if he wore that same serious, hard-rocker look he’d had with the others he’d taken pictures with. I’d find out soon enough. Amber and Mickey chatted about our picture a moment before she suggested that Mickey get in the shot with Cas and I. Cas let me go and I slipped an arm around Mickey’s waist as well. Then it was Amber’s turn. I tried not to stare at her hugging Cas and Mickey. He didn’t belong to me after all.

“There,” I said, a bit more sharply than I meant. Fortunately, none of them seemed to notice. I handed the phone back to Amber, who immediately began texting the pictures to me. I looked over at Cas. “It was really nice to meet you. The show was amazing.”

“Thank you,” he answered. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

I nodded. I suddenly felt shy, nervous even. Which wasn’t a usual state for me. I didn’t know what to say to him now that he was standing so close to me. I searched my mind for something, anything that I could say so that I could talk to him for a while longer. Who knows? I might never get this chance again.

“Dude, I’m starving,” Mickey said. He glanced at Amber. “You want to go grab a bite? Or do you have to get back?”

She shook her head. “No. I work the afternoon shift tomorrow. I’m good. Are you sure it’s a good idea to eat and go to bed? It’s kind of late.”

Mickey looked at his watch. “It’s 9:30, babe. It’ll have plenty of time to digest before I turn in. Besides, we have another show to do tomorrow night. Then few days here for the holidays. Then we’re off again the day after Christmas.”

She hugged him close. “Gosh, sometimes I hate this schedule you keep.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I know but it’s what I do. Hey, at least we got Christmas. Then the tour will end and you’ll have me for six months or so. You’ll be ready for me to go again.”

They laughed at their own private joke. I felt suddenly like the fifth wheel. When I let myself think about it, I wished for something like what they had. He loved her. It was evident. And I knew that she loved him. Sometimes, I wished someone loved me.

“Ash, you want to go grab a bite?” Amber asked me.

I hesitated for a moment. Then Mickey add, “Yeah. Why don’t you two join us? Come on Cas. What do you say?”

Cas glanced at me. “Sure,” he said.

Mickey looked at me.

I nodded. “Okay.”

Amber and I met them at the local pancake house, a favorite of ours. We waited for them outside of the restaurant, watching as they pulled into the lot in a rental car. Mickey swung that big SUV into a tight space, narrowly missing taking paint off the car beside him. Amber shook her head.

“He’s crazy,” she said, admiringly.

“Hmm,” I agreed. But I only had eyes for Cas. I watched the two of them walk towards us. They were talking and it looked serious. Amber elbowed me.

“He’s as hot in person as he is on the poster, huh?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“You guess so? Girl, I thought I was going to have to get an AED to revive you when he did that last solo. You had come up out of your seat and you were staring at him like he was a god come to earth.”

I frowned. “No I wasn’t,” I said, though inside, I was startled that she’d seen that. My face suddenly burned with embarrassment. God, if Amber had seen it, had Cas seen it as well? What was he thinking about me now?