In His Secret Life

Chapter 7-2

Davinder’s office was three blocks away from my house.

It was a two-story building—brand new. I could smell the sawdust around the staircase. The paint was still fresh. I saw the jazzy sign on the door.

Lamontagne Inc.

That was his last name. I knocked. Moments later, I heard Davinder call out, “It’s open.”

“Hi,” I said, stepping inside. I stayed by the door. “You haven’t been here long, have you?”

“Actually.” Davinder didn’t meet me at the door. He stood by a desk, shuffling papers. He wore a fitted black shirt and his dark hair shone almost blue under the ceiling light. “Been here all day.”

“I meant the building.”

“No. Moved in last month.”

“Really?” This was awkward. He didn’t seem happy to see me. He appeared to be deeply engrossed in his work. “Did I come at a bad time? I should have called.”

He didn’t say a word. Kept fiddling with his papers.

“I’ll come back some other time—”

“Wanna go for a drink?” Davinder looked up at me for the first time since I’d walked in. And I saw how tired he was. His eyes were intense and glossy with fatigue.

“I’d love to,” I said, relaxing a bit. “And no offense, but you look like you need it.”

“I do, huh?” He smirked. “Okay then, let me make a phone call and I’ll meet you outside.”

He was going to call his wife. Because he was married. Why couldn’t I get that through my thick skull? MARRIED.

“Take your time.” I stepped out and paced the hall. Clearly, Davinder needed a friend. Someone to talk to. And I’d be that guy. There would be nothing to it. I’d keep my eyes above his neckline all night. I’d drink slowly and have plenty of water between drinks.

“All right, let’s go.” Throwing his black leather bag over his shoulder, Davinder came out, and as he walked by me, I watched his ass move in his snazzy black pants. I’d have to be a damn saint tonight.

Outside, we walked side by side on the sidewalk, past the antique shops, and every time I saw our reflection in a window, I was startled at how good we looked together. He, tall and dark-haired, and I, shorter and blond. I imagined he was my partner and I could reach out and hold his hand. Davinder wasn’t saying much and I searched for something safe to talk about. “So what do you think of Karl Marx?” I asked, hoping to get a conversation going. It was a quiet night. Shops were closed.

“Marx? I think he’s a pompous paternalist.”

“Isn’t he?” I laughed. “So, if you’d have to take sides during the power struggles of the International—”

“My loyalty would have been to Bakunin.” Davinder watched me out of the corner of his eye. Bakunin was one of my favorite historical and political figures of all time. I’d read all of his papers and speeches. He was a romantic, a utopian, a bourgeois turned revolutionary anarchist. His work always fueled me with passion, and every time I read him, I had a burning desire to join some underground movement and write anti-government propaganda for them. I told Davinder this, and we both began speaking faster, with more passion and confidence. Soon we were interrupting each other and having a heated debate about God and the free mind.

“Yes,” Davinder said, walking briskly, “but if you believe in the soul, then you can’t be a true anarchist. A soul means a god and a god means authority on our—”

“That’s only one theory.”

At every turn, we were butting heads, but I was enjoying it greatly. Davinder was argumentative, quite stubborn, but he also had a unique way of thinking—an original line of thought that captivated me. I listened to him with pointed interest, forgetting where we were or how long we’d walked.

“Wait a second.” Davinder stopped and looked around. “Where are we going anyway?”

We hadn’t even decided on that. We’d been walking east for blocks and blocks. With no direction in mind. “I don’t know.” I laughed and watched a moonbeam catch in his eyes.

“Well,” he said, “where do you usually go?”

I usually went to gay bars, but I wasn’t going to suggest any of them. Hell no. “I don’t go out much,” I lied.

“Come on, let’s get a cab. I know somewhere you’ll like.”