Chapter 11 – His reply
1543 Words
Dave pulled her towards the couch and they both sat.
He kept stroking her hair until she calmed down.
He sighed before speaking. He has a few questions, but… to most of them, he asked himself: does it matter?
“I can understand your reasoning, why you didn’t tell me. But how long do you plan to keep it from me?”
“I had no plan. I don’t know how I should tell you. I just can’t bring myself to talk about it. When you kept mentioning your club and how you want to bring me here… I knew there’s a possibility this could happen. I haven’t been here in months, but those people still remember the old me.” Her voice was so resigned. She dared not to move from her position next to him. She likes being this close. Thinking how this might still be the end for them, if he doesn’t want her anymore… she sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
“You don’t even have a handkerchief?” Dave pushed her back a little and stood up to get napkins from his drawer. Seeing him walk away, an indescribable feeling of loss surged in her heart.
When Dave turned back and saw her expression, his heart felt heavy. He sat next to her again and wiped her face with a napkin. Ella pulled a couple and blew her nose. She must look disgusting.
She stared up at him and made up her mind. She clasped her hands together and asked, “Won’t you give me another chance? I promise I won’t hide anything from you again. Please? I’m really sorry.”
Her eyes filled with water again, until they overflow and run down her cheeks. Dave pulled another napkin and dried her face again.
“Please?” Her little fists were clenched in anxiety. She was tempted to cling to him, but she thought he might not like it. Not until she’s sure he still wants her.
Dave reached for her face and touched her cheek. He bowed his body to capture her mouth with his. Ella caught her breath. Hope surged inside her. He began with gentle kisses, like he always did. But then… it turned aggressive. He was consuming her, his tongue exploring her depths and his hands moved to touch her body, places they never touched before… This made Ella whimper. He was never like this to her… the thought made her feel terrible and sad. With all her strength, she pushed him off.
“No. I’m not that girl.” She weakly repeated as her sight was clouded with her tears. Dave was momentarily stunned. What has he done? Ella stood up to go, shaking her head as she sobbed.
“No, Ella…” He caught her arm and pulled her back to him. This time, she struggled.
“No.” She refused to be treated like a cheap woman. Never again.
“I’m sorry.” Damn it. It was his turn to apologize. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m sorry.”
This time, it took longer for her to calm down. Why is she still here? She should just go. Why does she keep clinging to a hope that he might still want her and still treat her like she’s precious?
“Just tell me. If you don’t like me anymore, that’s fine. If you want the other version of me, then this won’t work.”
“No, sweetheart. You misunderstand. Let’s talk, alright?” This time, he pulled her into his lap. It felt awkward to Ella. They’ve never been this close.
“I’m feeling angry, because those bastards have…” Dave tried to control his expression and deeply sighed.
“To think they’ve already touched you, when I’ve been acting very carefully around you…”
The reminder didn’t sit well with Ella. There’s nothing she can do about that. That was in the past…
“I want to ruin you for other men.” He stated as he buried his face on her neck, inhaling her scent. She shivered at that statement. What does it mean? It didn’t sound good. He did notice the way she trembled.
“You’ve never heard this phrase before?” He asked as he propped his chin on her shoulder. Ella looked at him with a frown. She hasn’t fully settled yet. She’s feeling a bit of fear because of him.
She shook her head and with her eyes, implored him to explain.
“It means you won’t ever want someone else because I’m all you will ever want.”
Ella turned it over inside her head. “Sounds complicated?”
Dave chuckled. Well, he can’t say it directly right now. He’ll probably explain it better later on.
He hugged her in silence and Ella started feeling comforted.
“I guess I shouldn’t dwell on your past. It pains me to know that others have been intimate with you. It’s not exactly cheating since it happened in the past, but it oddly gives me that kind of feeling.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So… when you decided you want a change, you haven’t been intimate with anyone?”
Ella shook her head. “My aunt said… if I want to be treated seriously, I should value myself more. I can’t just give in to everything the guy wants.”
Dave took a deep breath. “But a kiss is okay?”
Ella stared into his eyes. “A kiss is fine. Chaste ones.” She seemed to add the last part in a hurry, making him chuckle.
“A French kiss is a no?” He tilted his head as he waited for her answer.
Ella pursed her lips. “You’re just teasing me, aren’t you?”
He took a deep breath. “I can understand where you’re coming from, and I’m probably just being selfish. I have desired you since our first date. I wanted to taste your mouth and feel your insides tight against my length.” His tone turned seductive and Ella shivered from goosebumps. He can talk really dirty and she isn’t used to it.
Her eyes constricted from the sudden desire she’s feeling. No, she must control this. She likes Dave so much, but still… she’d set up standards and rules to follow, didn’t she?
Yes, she’s afraid that if she gives in, he’ll turn out to be just like the rest of them. She feels that if that happens, her whole world will shatter. She won’t believe in love anymore.
But… they need to compromise. Since he already knows about her past, and it really isn’t fair that he’s unable to do with her the things she’d done with others…
She bit her lip before saying, “I’ll allow the French kiss.”
“When can we sleep together?” He has become more brazen. Since the innocent persona was gone, he felt free to be somehow vulgar with his words. Of course, he kept watching her reaction. He doesn’t want to overdo it.
Ella sighed, “I don’t know.” She really doesn’t.
“You know, a kiss could burn two people up. Especially French kisses.”
She slightly trembled in his arms. Shaking her head, she flatly said no. She’ll try to control her desire more. She can’t just give in.
“Is it because you don’t want to do it with me?”
His question was wrong. They both froze when it left his lips. Dave realized he’s becoming manipulative. She did feel that his words were said to that effect, that he’s cornering her into agreeing.
“Forget I said that.” He pressed a quick kiss on her cheek to assuage her worries.
He stared at Ella. He can wait until she’s ready. He was willing to do that before her past came out into the open. He shouldn’t treat her differently just because he learned what she’s like before. Wasn’t that the point? That was her past, not her present. The Ella that he came to know is who she currently is, the version of herself that she wants to be. She wants to be respected, cared for, loved, treasured… very simple things, if you ask him. He can do all that.
- Writer
