Fight Men Not Love

Chapter Twenty One ?

I groaned in pain when Nico dragged me into the house.

"Careful, Miss Benedict," he said when I almost collapsed. I giggled, the alcohol not letting me dwell on the pain on my ankle.

"That was so much fun," I said loudly. "Did you see what I did?" Once we were inside, I let go of Nico's shoulder, almost falling. "Whoa! That was so much fun. I'm going to do it agai-" I yelped, falling backwards. Luckily, Nico caught me before I could hit the ground. I giggled, feeling footsteps behind. "Hey, nice catch," I patted his shoulder.

"What's going on?" I almost rolled my eyes when I heard Dominic. I mustered a smile and turned to everyone. "Evelyn?" He rushed over to me.

"Hi!" My voice came out high pitched and I flinched. "Dang, was that loud?" I giggled as I took steps to him. Wrong move. I winced when I pressed down on my injured ankle and lost balance. "Oh no no no," arms wrapped around me, steadying me. I looked up into bright blue eyes and smiled. "Hey, you caught me, husband," I giggled again. I was a giggling mess. "I mean, fiance,"

"Are you drunk, Evelyn?" Dominic frowned. I stepped back, frowning as well. I stumbled but managed to not fall this time.

"Hey, don't judge me," I said pointing at him.

"I'm not judging you, Evelyn-"

"Oh yeah? Well, it sounds like it," I mumbled as I walked over to the couches. "Or what? You're disappointed that I gave in to alcohol so easily? Well, I failed you. I lost this week, how about we try again next week?" I plopped down on the couch with a groan.

"Nicolas, what happened?" I heard a different voice break the silence.

"After I took her to therapy, she wanted to go to the fight club-"

"And you let her?" Dominic was fuming.

"I should assume that you already know Miss Benedict can be...persuasive," I giggled at that.

"Hey Dommy, you wanna know what I did today?" I sat up, peeling my eyes open. There were more people in here. Niyaaz was beside me. I smiled at him. "Hi Niyaaz," he smiled softly when I touched his cheek. "Well, I did three fights today. Two ladies and a man," I said happily. "And I won," I raised my arms up. "It was so much fun. Although, I think I broke a leg," I said with a grimace. "Or is it an ankle?" I patted both my legs and didn't feel anything. I stretched to touch my ankles and winced when I touched my left ankle. "Yep, definitely an ankle,"

I looked up and everyone was looking at me, disappointment evidence in their faces. Only Niyaaz was concerned. He crouched down to check my ankle. Carefully, he took off the shoes I had on and I winced. The sock followed.

"Why'd you go to the fight club, Evelyn? You know that place is not even legal and it's dangerous," Camden said, walking over to me.

"Oh here we go again," I rolled my eyes and hoisted myself down from the couch and stood up, wobbling a little. "What? Are you going to report that one too, so I can't go?" I turned to glare at him.

"Evelyn, you almost died. Do you want the same thing to happen again?" He said, raising his voice.

"And yet I'm still here, miserable as hell," I said gesturing to myself. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I wanted to die?" Niyaaz gasped.

"I swear this is the third time you've said something...suicidal," Beckett murmured, a frown on his face.

"Bingo b***h," I said, eyeing everyone's shocked faces. "It took you long enough to figure it out. I've got nothing to lose anyway," I said.

"Evelyn..." I looked up at Dominic and mentally cussed myself. He looked...hurt, and somehow, it got to me. "It doesn't have to get to that," he said softly, taking steps forth.

"Why? Give me one reason why it shouldn't," I said. "This is who I am,"

"No, it's not who you are. You weren't always like this," Beckett shook his head. "At least, not until..." he trailed off, blinking.

"Not until what?" I pressed, already knowing the answer to that. "Not until my father died a-and left me," my voice broke. Camden hung his head and I wished this wasn't hurting him too. "Not until the man I thought loved me, left me," I went on. "Not until I threw myself into the hands of a monster," I was beyond seething. "Not until I found out that my real father is none other than the Mafia Don,"

"You wanna know something? There were two people I looked up to," I sat back down, facing everyone. "My father, Alexander and Camerin," at that, Camden looked up, shocked. "Yeah, I did fall in love with your brother," I eyed him. I want to think of him as Camerin, but I couldn't. Even if they were twins, they were so different. "Those two people set the bar real high for me. But they left. And the bar dropped," I wiped away the angry tears.

"It's pathetic, isn't it?" I let out a humorless laugh. "I'm always under men's control. I've had four years to try and take my life. Instead, I thought about killing all those men who...raped me," I heard a whimper, probably from Niyaaz. I hated that he had to hear this. "I thought about hurting them so much, that it became a routine. Hope that one day, I'd give myself justice. Too bad for them, I know some of their names," my mouth twisted into a grin.

"And now that I'm finally free," I stood up again, ignoring the throbbing ankle. "I don't even know what to do with myself. I can barely...exist. I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. I've been under Avel's control for too long and I don't know how to live without him telling me what to do," I laughed at how pathetic that sounds, coming out of my mouth.

"And then there's all of you, expecting me to be perfect. I have so many things shoved in my face and it's too much. I'm supposed to live li-like the last four years never happened. I'm supposed to pick myself up and act like I'm okay. Well, I'm not okay. I'm far from it. I'm...I am suffocating and I have no f*****g clue how to make it stop," I bit my lower lip to stop it from quivering. "And what I do is not enough for all of you," I stopped wiping the tears from my eyes. "So, maybe, killing myself is the best decision, for all of us. It's not like I meant anything," Niyaaz was silently crying, occasionally whimpering, shaking his head at me.

My eyes met Killian's eyes and for once, he wasn't scolding at me. Shockingly, he was tearing up. "Are you happy now, Killian? To know that you were right. T-that maybe I am weak, broken and used and a psycho," he closed his eyes, more tears trickling down his face. "This is what you wanted to hear?" I choked back a sob.

I hated these pitiful looks I was getting. They made me weak. I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned to leave. "Don't come to my room," I slurred on my way. I leaned against the wall, for balance because I was still drunk and injured.

Stripping off, I managed to get myself into the scorching hot water and I stood there for minutes, which felt like hours, before I attempted to actually clean myself. I winced at the bruises and cuts that stung under the hot water.

My ankle was a dull throb that I was able to ignore after throwing on fresh panties and an oversized hoodie, and threw myself on the bed.

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I stayed in my room in the morning and actually cried, because I was feeling so much pain and the after effect of alcohol. I had run out of painkillers and I was suffering immensely.

After throwing up for the third time, I brushed my mouth and attempted to look presentable before heading out, limping.

I heard sounds before I came to the kitchen. Everyone turned to look at me and I averted my gaze. Niyaaz came over, smiling at me. For the life of me, I couldn't return the smile, and he understood that. He wrapped his arms around me gently, hugging me. When he pulled back, he looked at me closely.

"Thanks Niyaaz," I said softly, averting my eyes from everyone. I walked over to where Dominic was preparing food. He turned to smile at me. "Do you have painkillers? I ran out," I asked him.

"Sure, let me get them for you," he said, wiping his hands quickly. He went and opened the top part of the cabinet and looked at the different containers. He grabbed one and gave me. "How's your ankle?" He asked me softly. "Maybe you should get it checked,"

"It's fine," I murmured, walking out again.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Camden inquired, frowning at me.

"I'm not hungr-"

"Lyn!" Inez squealed when she saw me. I managed a smile and crouched down to scoop her up. Her bubbliness rubbed off on me, but it still wasn't enough to shake off the sadness I felt.

"Hi Inez," I greeted her. She eyed my face with a frown.

"Daddy, Lyn's hurt again," she said with a pout, touching my lip. I smiled at her concern for me.

"I'll be okay," she hugged me, wrapping her small arms around my neck.

"Maybe if you have soup, then you'll feel better. My daddy makes a really good soup. Then I'll come and sit with you, and we'll watch Rapunzel," she said.

"Thank you baby, that sounds lovely," I put her down gently. "I'm going to need you to stay with daddy today, okay? I'm not feeling so great," I said honestly. She pouted sadly. I felt bad for making her sad. "Maybe tomorrow, we can go out,"

"Promise?" She mumbled quietly. I held out my pinky for her.

"Pinky promise," she smiled, linking her small pinkie with mine.

"Okay," she proceeded to surprise me with a kiss on the cheek. I smiled at her, her gesture warming me up. "Wait," she hurried to the counter and asked for Niyaaz to lift her up. Once she was on the counter, she grabbed two bananas and then got down, with Niyaaz's help. "Here," she gave me the bananas. "Daddy said that you don't like to eat. If you don't eat, then you'll get sicker and then I won't be able to play with you,"

Oh my, this little angel.

"Thank you baby, I'll make sure to have these," this time, I gave her a kiss and she giggled happily. Just then, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," I limped to the door. A delivery guy stood outside, Nico behind him, making him nervous.

"H-Hi, delivery for Miss-" he read the Take a Lot box. "Evelyn Benedict?"

"That's me," I signed the paper before taking the box. "Thanks," I suddenly got excited about my package. I didn't think it'd be this early. I'd estimated a few days later.

Oh well, time to have some fun.

I closed the door quietly and walked over to the kitchen. "No one comes to my room, right?" I asked, earning immediate attention. "Great," I didn't wait for them to respond.

"She likes her privacy," I heard Camden grumble.

Once I got to my room, I unboxed everything, already hyped. I mean, hearing Camden and Niyaaz have some fun in the bedroom, which still grosses me out, I couldn't help but feel that void. That loneliness. I also had needs, whether I wanted to deny that or not. I couldn't possibly throw myself on Dominic. It's not exactly in my books.

So, I got a little something for me. Toys. A wand, a dildo and a vibrating teardrop thingy. I've never used toys before, so I would have stuck with my hand, but I needed something more exciting.

I couldn't wait for nighttime to use these, so I settled in bed quickly and got under the covers, just in case. Quickly discarding the panties, I had, I switched the wand on and applied little bit of lube, before pressing it on my clit.

"Holy shi-" I jolted up when the vibration sent me into a delicious electric shock. I made sure to put it on low for now, not wanting to overwhelm myself. "Mmh," I moaned, when I pressed it on me again, welcoming the pleasure it brought. My head swarmed immediately and I was a moaning mess. I tried so hard to keep it down, but it felt so good.

I trembled as I cried out, orgasming. "Fuuuck," my eyes blurred from the intensity. I had somehow turned it up and I was crashing, my body tingling. I didn't stop, needing more.

By my third orgasm, I was limp, sweating and a blabbering mess. To cut the story short, I was in heaven. I laid there for minutes, catching my breath. I don't think I'd be able to use the other toys today.

I forced my spent body out of bed to put away the wand and went to the bathroom, feeling the sudden need to pee. I didn't bother wearing fresh panties, going commando under the covers. I wasn't going anywhere, anyway.

I grabbed the bottle to fill it with water and took the painkillers, along with the sleeping pills that I was given. I didn't get much sleep last night and I needed it. Hopefully, I'll be able to go out with Inez tomorrow. I really don't want to disappoint her.

I ignored the little wet spot on the bed and laid down, pulling the covers over my head, before allowing sleep to take me.

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UNEDITED