Never Stopped Loving You

Chapter 3

I left the hospital with my head spinning, completely lost with the flood of information I had received from the doctor. I would have to start treatment the next day, and I had barely absorbed the idea that I was sick, that a terminal illness had appeared to end my life.

Likewise, I guess that’s a lot to handle.

I get in my car and before the tears come back, I start up and drive to my house, not in the mood to put on any music to play in the background. I didn’t want a song that I love, to mark a moment as cruel as this. It’s just not fair.

As soon as I park the car in my parking space, I allow the tears to escape my eyes and let out all the crying that I have been holding in these minutes, the sobs escape my lips loudly, but I don’t mind it too much.

After spending long minutes crying all I had to cry inside the vehicle, I get out of it and finally enter the house, going straight to the shower.

After taking hours in the shower, I go to the kitchen and start preparing something for myself to eat. Matteo and I had people who could do this kind of work, but I liked cooking, I liked to distract my mind with it.

— I already told you that you don’t need to do this kind of work. — Matteo’s voice sounds through the room, and I am slightly startled by his presence.

— I like to cook. — I speak softly and reassemble my sandwich, hearing his footsteps approaching me.

— I forgot to do this last night, but I wanted to thank you for going with me to that event.

Matteo leans against one of the cabinets, right next to me, watching my every move carefully.

I allow some of my hair to fall in my face, so that it would be slightly covered, and my husband wouldn’t have a chance to see my swollen eyes.

— You’re welcome, Matteo.

— Of course there is. It seems that Taylor was very excited to meet you.

Taylor excited about meeting me? That’s a funny joke.

— He told you that? — I close my sandwich with a slice of bread and bring it to my mouth, taking a bite.

— Not directly. But he extended Na invitation this morning, implying that he wants to get to know us better.

For some reason, I dryly swallow. I don’t really like where this conversation is going, maybe because everything is indicating to me that Taylor is being cute.

— Invitation? What invitation?

— He wants us to spend the weekend with him at his country house.

I feel the piece of sandwich catch in my throat and the next second I am coughing like crazy, while Matteo stares at me in utter confusion, giving me quick strokes on my back.

— When you talk to us, does it involve me? — I ask, as soon as I can swallow.

— Yes. He makes a point of your presence.

— I don’t think there’s a good reason for me to go, Matteo. You will probably take care of business. — And I have a cancer treatment to start, I can’t afford to go away on a weekend.

— Rebecca, he was succinct in saying that he wants you there.

Of course, he did. Now I realize how committed Taylor is to making my life a living hell.

— Don’t you find this strange? My hope is that Matteo will notice that there is something wrong with this story, but he doesn’t seem very concerned about any of it. In fact, his only concern is the business he will be able to close.

— I have no reason to find any of this strange. — he speaks calmly. — I will do everything to do business with him, Rebecca. If he wants you there, then so be it.

— And if I don’t want to go? — I cross my arms and stare at him defiantly.

— In that case I’ll have to refresh your memory and make you remember everything I’ve done for you so far, I think you owe me some gratitude, don’t you?

I take a deep breath.

The worst part of Matteo came out in rare moments, but when it did, I hated it with all my might!

Sometimes he liked to rub my face in all the things he had done for me up to this point. And that’s the problem with marrying someone for convenience, at some point you are treated like Na object, almost like a luxury item. And I know that’s how Matteo sees me.

— You know how much I need the money that this partnership with Taylor can bring, and if I remember correctly, the medicines you needed were very expensive. This is the time for you to pay your debt to me.

Pay the debt?

I feel so much hatred for what I hear that I can’t even manage to come up with a sensible reaction. I knew that we had our difficulties, that our marriage was the definition of failure, but it wasn’t fair that he wanted to bring this up now.

— Don’t I already pay this debt every day, Matteo? — my voice comes out more irritated than I would like, and I notice that his face hardens. — Being stuck in this marriage every day is my way of paying off this debt.

— I imagine how hard it must be for you to live in a comfortable house and have access to all the luxuries you want. — he speaks with irony and I snort.

— Marriage is not about money. It’s about love! I wanted to be loved by you!

— Funny you should say that now, after you married me, about my arrangements.

I knew very well what the situation was here, I always knew. But how can he be so cold in this situation?

— Did you ever see me, Matteo? As a real person?

— You have to stop this drama, Rebecca. I provide you with a princess life, you have nothing to complain about.

I decide not to press the issue any further, because I already knew the answer to my question, and it was definitely not something I would like to hear. Matteo thought that money was enough, and nothing and no one could change his mind about that.

— So we’re done. We will leave here Friday night and return Sunday afternoon. — he takes advantage of my silence to checkmate me.

Matteo turns his back and walks away from me in quick steps.

I don’t know what irritates me more, the way he made light of the conversation we just had or the idea of having to spend the weekend with a person who can’t stand me.

At such times, dying because of cancer doesn’t seem like a bad idea.

After all, what would I have to lose?

Nothing. Absolutely, nothing.

I have already lost everything that was most valuable to me.