David and Andrew Box Set

Chapter 1: It All Began this Way-5

After we’d cleaned up the kitchen and tried in vain to take the dogs for a walk on the slippery sidewalks, Andy asked, “Can we talk?”

“Sure.”

“I think it’s time I came clean with you.”

“Only if you’re ready,” I said, hoping he was.

We walked into the family room and sat at either end of the couch, facing each other. I tried to keep a look of calm, patient anticipation on my face, but I could hardly stand the suspense. I was finally going to hear his story.

We sat there for probably five minutes. To me it seemed like hours. I surmised Andy was trying to collect his thoughts, deciding where to begin, stirring up the courage to talk about it. I was starting to think he’d changed his mind. I fought the urge to fidget.

Then Andy took a deep breath. “I was married,” he began. “Her name was Julie. We met in Vet School at State. We were married before we graduated.” His words were simple and he hesitated before each sentence, as if he wanted to be sure he said it just right. “After graduation we set up a veterinarian practice backed by her father. She did the small animals and I did the farm stuff, primarily horses.”

The little clues I’d been getting since his arrival were falling into place.

Andy continued, “Things went very well for a couple of years. Almost too well. Our practice grew. Julie became involved in research as well as her general practice. She published some very good studies and was in demand to present papers at conferences around the country. She couldn’t keep up with her patients at home, so we hired a vet to hold up her end of the practice. I was spending more time in the office. The new vet and I became, ah, quite close.”

Andy paused for so long, I thought he might be reluctant to go on.

After a while he continued. “We began sharing meals together at the house after the clinic was closed for the day. One night we decided to share more than the meal. We were in the bedroom, undressed, on the bed just starting to—well, just starting. We actually hadn’t done anything. And—” He stopped again.

After a time I prompted, “And Julie came home?”

“Yes. Her flight out of Detroit had been cancelled, so she was going to take one in the morning instead.

“She freaked out. She yelled and screamed and called us all sorts of names. She ordered us out of the house. I didn’t know what to do, so I just left. I went to a motel. Alone.

“Over the next months she sued for divorce, sued for the practice, everything. During that time I started to drink. I was devastated. Humiliated. I sank lower and lower. The final straw was when I discovered she’d been seeing someone else herself and wanted out of the marriage. She’d used this as an excuse to make it happen on her terms. That’s when I gave up. I had nothing left. I couldn’t get a job as a vet because of my drinking and because of the influence of her family. I don’t really remember how I got to Ann Arbor or started living under the bridge.”

Now it was my turn to have tears in my eyes. I wanted so badly to take Andy in my arms and hold him and show him someone cared, cared very deeply. I didn’t know what to do. I just sat there for the longest time. We were both crying.

The dogs did what I couldn’t. They put their heads on Andy’s lap. He buried his face in their soft warmth and acceptance.

To this day, I don’t know why I asked this question. But I did, and now I am so glad I did. “Was the other vet you hired…a man?”

Andy sat for so long I thought he hadn’t heard me. I was about to ask again when he slowly raised his head and turned to me. He looked down at the couch, then into my eyes. His beautiful blue eyes, sparkling with tears, bored into mine.

“Yes, he was.”

* * * *

We sat in the family room for almost an hour, neither of us saying anything, each with his own thoughts. Mine were on the lines of, Where do I go from here? How do I tell him I’m gay? That I want him to be whole and happy again? How do I let him know how much I care for him? I had never been down this road before. The guys I’d played with were in the same situation I was; married. We got together to have s*x and get relief. We liked each other, but this was different. This was something more, at least for me. What that something was, I didn’t know. I felt myself getting anxious, panicky. I had to say something, do something. But what?

“Well, I guess I better be going,” Andy said.

“What! Where?” I asked lamely. Say something, you i***t! This isn’t how you want it to end! Say something! Let him know you want him to stay!

“I guess back to the bridge. Where are my clothes?”

“I threw the f*****g clothes out!” I shouted. “And the hell you are going back to that bridge.” Oh, now that’s the way to approach this. Way to go, jerk!

Andy’s eyes got wide and he recoiled from me physically. I got up and started pacing the floor. “f**k,” I yelled, running my hands through what would have been my hair if I’d had any. “s**t!” He and the dogs followed my every move as I continued to pace. “Damn it!”

Andy’s mouth fell open and Jake whined. Annie, the sensitive one, rose and tried to jump up on me to make it all better, her tail between her legs. I ignored her. “You’re not going back there! Unless you want to go naked, ‘cause I threw your fuckin’ rags away. Those are my clothes you’re wearing. And if you leave with them, I’ll call the police and have you thrown in jail for robbery. At least there you’ll be warm and have three meals a day and I won’t have to worry about you anymore—”

I was desperate. I knew this wasn’t the way to go, but I couldn’t stop. All I wanted was for Andy to say he would stay.

Then I was crying, sobbing, and he was holding me, brushing away my tears.

“How can you care about me?” he said. “A failure, a faggot, a drunk?”

“The drunk we can handle, the faggot makes us even, and the failure you are not,” I said, still sobbing but knowing the tears were changing to joyous ones. “And by the way,” I countered, “how could you care about me, a depressed old queer living in this house of memories? Answer me that?”

We were both laughing and crying at the same time. The dogs jumped around barking. It was like they were celebrating—celebrating two souls who seemed to have found what they had been looking for, for so long.

I kissed him.