"What." I heard him, but I think I could have heard wrong because it can't be. He kept quiet, and I could see the guilt swimming in his eyes, but you can't take back something like that no matter how much you want to. " Repeat what you f****** said." l said, getting all up in his face. " Some things are just better left unsaid." I can't believe him. " You've already said it ,now have the courage to own up to it." I heard it, but I don't know why I kept pushing him. " You don't get to tell me anything about courage. you and your sister only got to have a perfect world, but some of us have had to suffer, and we are still suffering, so you better not tell me that I'm a coward." he was trying to divert all of this to me, but I won't let it go until he tells me that what he said is a joke.