Forbidden Ties

Chapter 20: "I'll Let You Go."

Sam's P.O.V.

Returning to class after the library felt like stepping into a dream I couldn’t wake up from. My heart was still racing, my lips tingling from the kiss with Jax. The weight of it was pressing against my chest, but I couldn’t quite grasp it. I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t know what to make of the kiss, the way it had felt too natural, like it was meant to happen. And yet, everything about it was wrong.

I slipped into the back of the classroom and found my seat without meeting Kyle’s gaze. My hands were still shaking. Every time I looked up, I felt the heat of his gaze on me, and it made me want to crawl under the desk. How could I face him after everything? After everything I had felt in the library with Jax?

The bell rang, signaling the start of class, but my mind was still spinning. Kyle sent me a few texts throughout the period, but I couldn’t bring myself to read them. I wanted to—no, needed to—but everything felt too heavy, too complicated.

Kyle: Are you okay?

Kyle: I’m worried about you. Please let me know what’s going on.

The messages came in waves, and I knew I had to respond, but every time I tried, my fingers hovered over the screen without pressing send. How could I lie to him again? How could I pretend like everything was okay when all I could think about was Jax?

When school finally ended, I didn’t wait for Kyle. I had to get away from everything, everyone, even my own thoughts. I wanted to disappear into the silence of my room and forget about the confusion gnawing at me.

But when I walked into the living room, I realized that wasn’t an option.

Jax was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV like he had all the time in the world. His dark eyes flicked up to meet mine, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“You’re home early,” he said, his tone casual, but there was something in the way his gaze lingered on me that made my skin prickle.

“I’m not feeling well,” I muttered, trying to sound convincing. I wasn’t sure why I was lying; maybe I just wanted to avoid whatever conversation was lurking between us.

“Right,” he said, not buying it, but didn’t press. His gaze turned back to the TV.

I stared at him for a moment, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife. Why was he here? Why was he acting mysterious?

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Kyle again. I quickly stuffed it back into my bag before Jax could see.

“You’re not really going to just sit there and pretend nothing happened today, are you?” Jax’s voice cut through the silence like a blade. He didn’t even glance at me as he spoke, but I knew he was waiting for a response.

I tried to ignore the way my heart twisted at his words.

“Nothing happened,” I said quickly, hoping he would drop it. But of course, Jax wasn’t the type to drop anything.

“Don’t lie,” he shot back, his tone sharper now. “I saw the way you ran out of that cafeteria. You think I didn’t notice?”

I bit my lip, looking away from him. “It’s not what you think.”

“I’m not stupid, Sam,” he replied. “I know what’s going on. So, what’s the deal? You still thinking about Kyle? Or are you thinking about something else now?”

I couldn’t look him in the eye. I couldn’t.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, my voice a little too high.

Jax laughed, but there was no amusement in it. “You can’t lie to me. I know you, Sam. I know when you’re hiding something.”

Before I could answer, the front door creaked open, and Mom walked in with a smile that quickly faded when she saw the tension in the room.

“Everything okay?” she asked, looking from me to Jax.

I opened my mouth to respond, but Jax was already standing.

“I’m out,” he said, his voice low. “Don’t worry about it, Sam.”

He turned and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my mom.

That evening, I retreated to my room, wanting nothing more than to shut everything out. My phone buzzed again, and I immediately checked it, hoping it was Kyle. It was.

Kyle: Sam, I know something’s wrong. Please talk to me. I’m here for you.

The words felt like a weight in my chest. He didn’t deserve this. I should’ve told him everything. But how could I? I wasn’t even sure what “everything” was.

Just then, another text came in—this one from Jax.

Jax: We need to talk. Meet me tonight.

I stared at the message, my heart skipping a beat. I had no idea what he wanted to say, but something inside me was telling me I needed to hear him out.

Kyle: Sam, please. I need to know you’re okay.

I hesitated. I didn’t know what to do.

In the end, I did what felt right. I replied to Jax.

Sam: Where?

His response came quickly.

Jax: The park. 9 PM.

I couldn’t explain why I felt the need to meet him there. I couldn’t explain why I wasn’t replying to Kyle. Maybe it was because, deep down, I knew I couldn’t keep pretending.

By the time 9 PM rolled around, I was dressed and ready to go. I hadn’t told my mom where I was going, and I didn’t know if I could explain it to her if she asked. I slipped out the back door, trying to avoid any confrontation, and drove to the park, my heart pounding in my chest.

The night air was cool as I parked my car and walked toward the small bench by the lake. The park was quiet, the only sounds the rustling of leaves and the distant hum of traffic.

When I saw Jax leaning against the tree, I froze.

He was waiting for me. His expression was unreadable as he watched me approach, and I couldn’t read his face at all.

“You came,” he said softly, his voice almost surprised.

I didn’t know how to respond, so I stayed silent, just standing there.

“Sam…” He trailed off, stepping toward me. “We need to talk. About everything.”

I nodded, feeling the weight of the moment. Everything was hanging in the balance. This could change everything.

“I’m listening,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

And just like that, I was already in too deep.

Jax took a step closer, his eyes intense, his breath steady but slightly ragged. I could feel the distance between us shrinking with every passing second, the weight of what was about to happen pressing down on me like the walls of the room were closing in.

"I've never been good with words," he said quietly, his voice rough but soft.

I swallowed hard, trying to control the racing thoughts in my mind. "How are we going to talk about anything then?" I asked, my own voice barely more than a whisper.

Jax’s eyes flickered with something unreadable, and he took another step forward, closing the gap between us. The air between us crackled with tension, and for a brief moment, everything felt suspended in time.

"I don’t know," he murmured, his face inches from mine.

Before I could say anything else, his lips brushed against mine—soft at first, hesitant, like he was waiting for me to pull away, to tell him to stop. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. The kiss deepened, slow and burning, as if everything else in the world didn’t matter for that one moment.

When he pulled away, his eyes searched mine, raw and vulnerable. “Tell me if that didn’t feel real enough to you. Or even right. If it didn't, I’ll let you go.”

His words hung in the air, the weight of them anchoring me in place. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. Everything in me screamed to stay, to let the moment last, but my mind was screaming a different message, one I couldn’t quite process.

And then, just like that, everything froze.