Rejected by the Alpha of Fire

The R Word

Cindra’s POV

Knox stepped out of the shadows, stiff and imposing. He hadn’t lost the look of disdain, and for a moment, I wondered what all the hype was about. If the one the Moon Goddesses had chosen for me looked at me like that, I was probably better off growing into an old maid, locked away in the castle.

“Walk with me,” he said and turned away from me as if he expected me to follow.

I had half a mind not to move.

When I didn’t do so fast enough, he turned back to look at me. “Are you coming?”

I set my jaw. “Do you always just issue orders?”

He pulled his head back a bit in surprise. “Would you rather have this conversation in the open?”

No, of course not, but couldn’t he be nice about it? And what difference would it make? He wasn’t trying to save me from embarrassment. I sighed, stood, and walked after him.

Knox and I strolled through the woods surrounding the outskirts of the hall. I could hear the music from inside and see people dancing through the windows. The moonlight filtered through the trees, casting a soft glow on our path.

“You must understand that this arrangement makes no sense. You’re not even a real princess, and I am the crown prince of my territory,” Knox began.

His words dug at a wound that would never heal. Still, I couldn’t fault him for what he said, and there was no malice in his tone. It was just cold, factual. Still, couldn’t he be a bit nicer about it? I wondered for a moment if Jack had heard if Erupting Eclipse was next in line to the highest concentration of assholes or not.

Knox stopped walking so I followed suit, suddenly excruciatingly aware of my stained dress. Was my face stained, too? How messy and grimy was my hair? How come I felt so acutely self-conscious now and none of these thoughts had popped into my head when I was with Jack?

“Do you have anything to say?” Knox c****d his head.

“Me?”

He gestured around. “Who else would I be talking to?”

I licked my lips, trying to sort out what I thought, how I felt, and how to put it all into words. Knox waited, but when no words came out of me, he continued expressing his concerns and confusion over our pairing.

As Knox rambled on about his duties and responsibilities, I returned my focus to the gown I wore. My borrowed dress was old and outdated. Yet, I’d snuck into my mother’s old room and took it. It was too big but not quite falling off me, and there had been no time to take it in. I’d probably looked ridiculous before I’d gotten food all over it.

I’d known when I’d gone in and took it that I would be in trouble, but I had hoped that wearing it would give me some luck, some comfort, or something to make tonight easier. Having walked in feeling like an orphan, feeling like a fake, the dress now made me wonder if it wasn’t cursed.

I flicked a glob of potatoes off the fabric as my eyes pricked with tears. Maybe I was the one who was cursed. Or perhaps Knox was, because he’d been the most unlucky man at the Ball tonight to end up mated to the likes of me.

If my uncle had bought me a dress, even just an old one, I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I’d had the chance to earn money for the work I performed, at least the stains would be on something without any real sentimental value.

Now, I had to deal with their anger, my guilt and shame, on top of the knowledge that my mate was going to reject me.

Goddess, get me out of here. I wanted anything to get away from Knox, to get this over with and hide, but there was nothing I could do. I glanced up at him, but his face was impassive, uninterested. It was like my embarrassment and discomfort hadn’t even registered for him.

And he was still talking as if whatever he said would make this easier, would change the outcome of what I knew was coming.

I shouldn’t be here.

“My father has spoken to your uncle. I told him the truth, and both of them were surprised. They are still deliberating on the merits of such an alliance, yet I have made it clear that no matter what they speak about, the likelihood that this will end in anything but rejection is next to nothing.”

My heart kicked up with alarm, and my head jerked up. I had known that there was probably only one way this could end, but now? So soon? It hadn’t even been an hour since we found out we were mates, and he’d already made the decision? To hell with me and what it would do to my life?

I supposed I shouldn’t be surprised. It wouldn’t do for a future king to have a big, red R burned into his forehead by fate, but who cared about me, my future, my life, or my opinion?

I narrowed my eyes. And this asshole still didn’t look fazed at all about the kind of decision he was making for someone he’d never met before like I was obviously going to just let this happen to me.

A thought rushed to mind. I could reject him first. I could reject him right here and now before he and his father and my uncle had worked out whatever they thought they could work out about me.

My gut churned at the thought. Knox was a crown prince. Erupting Eclipse would be pissed off for the insult alone. It could start a war. They could open a rift and sink our capital the way they had nearly done before. I didn’t want to start a war, but honestly, what good had being Cindra Azer of Ember Moon done for me?

I looked down at my mother’s old, well-worn shoes, my heart warring. I could feel the words pushing at my teeth.

For once, I could say to hell with everyone else and make a choice for me. If no one else would be kind to me, if no one else would care about me, I could care about myself. I could be kind to myself. Damn the consequences to anyone else.

I could—

“My father and your uncle are still trying to work it out. I suspect they’ll be at it for at least a few days.”

I had no idea what to say, so I just nodded, all thoughts of getting the leg up on him and rejecting him first vanishing from my mind. I could never be so cruel as to reject someone, especially not my mate.

Even if I didn’t feel anything for him at all except for that tug in my heart.

Knox turned with a sigh. “Try to enjoy the rest of your night.”

I was stunned. He was walking away just like that? The words, “You, too,” burned and faded on my tongue as he walked away from me. My heart raced. Was I grateful? Was I scared? Was I just too overwhelmed to know what I was feeling? I didn’t know.

I felt my forehead with a shaking hand.

Knox hadn’t rejected me, and he couldn’t reject me if we weren’t in the same place. There was supposed to be a big ceremony or something, but if he had done it right then and there, the outcome would’ve been the same.

I swallowed and stared up at the castle and the light dancing in the ballroom windows. The music had picked up in tempo as the night grew later. By now, the punch bowl had surely been refilled, the mess mopped up, and the table righted. For everyone up there, I would be an amusing talking point about the evening when the sun came up. Some, like Knox, might have been expecting me to return.

But there was no way in hell I was going back in there to give him the chance to change my life forever tonight.