Breaking the Bond

Confused Feelings

Lexi blinked trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness around her. Searching for the slightest trace of light. Her hands reached out as she uncurled her sore body. She had been lying on a cold hard surface. Her hands reached a wall, wet and rough stone scraped against her flesh. She racked her brain to try to remember where she was but nothing came. Her face damp from the tears that had fallen before sleep had taken her. Where was she? Why was she so cold? What was that horrid smell? It was unusual. Metallic and stale. Her lips stung, chapped and dry. The door creaked open filling the room with light. It wasn’t a nice, stylish almost sterile room. No. The light highlighted the dirty stone walls. A filthy, rough cement floor. The only comfort that her sore body felt came from the rags she lay on. Her heart beat quickened as she blinked frantically. She tried to shuffle back into the dark corner. Cold biting at her ankle. Chains to hold her in place. Why was she chained? Her blurry eyes cleared and she focused on the figure at the door. Recognition made her body shake. It was him. Her captor. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. A dull pain ran through her body. How was she here? When did this happen? She sobbed.

“Don’t cry you useless girl”. His chilling words made her who body flinch in fright. He stepped closer with a heavy stride. She tried to make herself small. Her bodily instincts knew what was coming. This was not new to her. Her fingers scraped at the stone wall. Like a trapped animal she clawed for freedom, for safety. Lowering her forehead, she closed her eyes and leaned against the damp cold wall. Sudden pain made her eyes shoot open as she felt a large powerful hand grab her hair and drag her against the cold stone floor. She tried to thrash but her body was weak. Why was she naked? Why were there cuts and bruises scatter on her torso? Blood covering her arms. She tried to dig away the hand but her fingers were like jelly, her nails cracked broken and bloody.          

“Ppppll...ease. No. Don't...don't...why”. Unable to form sentences she felt the first blow, a fist connected to her stomach. Knocking the wind out of her, she struggled to breathe. She knew her pleas would go unanswered as a slap whipped her head to the side, blood trickled down her face. Her captor lifted her body off the ground by her hair, her scalp wanting to separate from her head. She suppressed a scream as her eyes clenched shut.

“You should have listened to me you stupid girl”. She knew that her captors face was just inches away. His hot breath unwelcoming on her face. Throwing her across the room like a rag doll, her body hit the stone wall with a sickening thud. She whimpered at the pain running down her spine. She heard a clang of metal and a hiss of a blow torch. She didn’t want to open her eyes. She didn’t want to see the terror that awaited her. She wanted to fall into oblivion. She prayed for the world to swallow, to throw her into a never ending dark oblivion. She had wanted to live but this was not living. May be death would be kinder.

Spots appeared in front of her dazed eyes. What was he doing? What was the fire needed for? Then she saw it. Bile rises in her throat.

No. No. No. She chanted to self. If there is anyone please help me. She wished. She begged the universe to save or take her. The captor turned, holding eye contact as he prowled forward. Like a predator about to eat its prey. In his hand she noticed the long metal rod. The end glowing shades of orange, yellow and red. The molten metal outlined three circles almost making a triangle shape with curved edges.

“Now everyone will know you are mine”. She tried to run. Her legs seized, shaking like jelly. She tried to drag herself away towards the door but her arms were too weak. She lay there defeated when the hot poker met the tender flesh of her stomach right above her navel. The burn pressed hard into her skin as it sizzled. Lexi threw her head back and gave out the most soul destroying scream.

“Lexi. Lexi. LEXI!!!” She heard a growl as her body continued to flail.

“No....mon...mons...monster. No. Please. Please. Sss. Stop”. She begged and pleaded for mercy, her hand clawing at her stomach. Two hands softly but firmly pressed against her shoulders. Her body succumb to a wave of calm. The hands were warm and reassuring. Her eyes flickered open and her senses came back to life as she frantically took in her surroundings. She wasn’t in her cold dark cell; instead she lay in a soft bed. The room wasn’t harsh but cosy and warm as the blankets wrapped tightly around her body. There was no disgusting smell lingering as honey and lemon filled her nostrils. The monster that haunted her no longer stood over her but a beautiful dark haired man sat on her bed. His face twisted with worry. His moss green eyes searching her face, scanning her body and lifting her arms as if checking for any injury that may have caused her to cry out. Her face wet with tears drying it with her wrist. No she wasn’t in that cell, she was free. Well free of the captor that she once called monster. Now she was in a different prison altogether and she didn’t know all the rules or what lay ahead of her.

“What happened? Are you ok? Was it a bad dream?” Ryan sounded full of worry. Why should he care? He was the one making her memories resurface with his possessive nature. She hadn’t had a nightmare for over a month. She had managed to avoid restless nights and she filled her mind with all the good memories. Then she remembered. Mate. He had called her his fate mate. She scanned his face. Why would the moon goddess pick her to be his mate? She was weak. Damaged. His face softened as she lay there taking in his handsome face.

“It was just a bad dream”. She answered him almost trying to reassure him or may be herself  that she was just fine. She wouldn't tell him that it was a memory, a sick and twisted memory, she wanted to shield him from her pain, even though his actions had triggered it all. Why did she feel the need to comfort him? His hand stroked her bare arm and the light tingling gave her goose bumps. All the worry seemed to evaporate and she noticed his body relax while her body began to heat up. Pleasure pulsated through her. Why was this happening? She nibbled on her bottom lip her eyes searching the ceiling for answers. Her face turned a soft pink. She didn’t want to feel like this, she would die of embarrassment before anything else killed her off if it continued. He was her new captor. It was wrong to feel this.

“Don’t be embarrassed sunshine. It's the bond making you feel that way”. Did she speak out loud. Her face traced his as hers reddened. His nostrils flared and his eyes darkened.

It was the bond. The mate bond. His words came to life ' because you're my mate'. That’s why she felt the need to crawl into his lap, she hoped.

She pulled away, she had asked to leave after finishing as much if her diner as possible. She needed to disgest all the information Ryan had showered her with after her innocent question. She had never read about werewolves mates. This was new to her. She replayed the conversation. Ryan had explained that a mate was a gift from the moon goddess. A werewolf's soulmate. At birth a werewolf's soul is separated and bound with another. The soul only made whole once the pair mated. Your mate is supposed to make you stronger. Whatever one was lacking the other was supposed to fill. The individuals bond to become a powerful duo. For an Alpha supposed to enhance not only the individual but the pack, as they partner becomes the Luna. The protector. The soft pillow that cradles the iron fist.

The use of ‘supposed’ did not go unnoticed by Lexi. She had felt a pang of pain reach her heart when she heard his words. She could only decipher Ryan's disappointment in his fated mate. Ryan had gone on to explain that a fated mate had become rare thing throughout the werewolf world, especially Baal City where packs kept to their own. Lexi had found this so desperately sad. For an individual was sentenced to a lifetime of not feeling completely whole. Not completely themselves.

Tom had butted in, in an excited manor at the concept that his brother had found his fated mate and told her that a werewolf would never hurt its fated mate. They would treasure them. Make it their life’s work to ensure their happiness. She had watched on as Tom never broke eye contact with Ryan throughout his whole speech. Like there was another conversation going on that she wasn’t privy too.

Ryan had rolled his eyes at his younger brothers’ enthusiasm. Before he went on, Lexi held up her hand. Her brain trying to catch up and the overload of information gave her a headache. She needed to rest. She needed time to understand her own feelings. She couldn’t take anymore. Sleep was pulling her in. She wanted to curl up in bed, preferably with Ryan's strong hands around her. Then she pouted at her stupid feelings. Ryan had reluctantly let her go after he made sure she had eaten enough. The show of affection had almost dissolved her feelings of panic and fear for her future.

“Well a midnight romp with the door opens. Brother. You're shameful”. Tom chuckled as he leaned against the door frame, arms folded across his bare chest. Only in his presence she became aware that she had slightly cured her body around Ryan who sat on the side of her bed. His hand still placed on her arm. He took looked at his brother stunned. Like a child who had been caught doing something naughty pulling his hand away quickly.

Tom laughed even louder when a grumbling noise came from the Alpha. Tom gracefully walked to the other side of Lexis bed then flopped beside her, making her slightly rise off the bed. The action had amused her and a giggle escaped her lips. Tom lay on his side propped up with his hand holding up his head. Smiling at the two fated mates. Ryan gave his brother a murderous glare but softened when he heard Lexis weak giggle. The sound struck him right in his dark heart. His wolf had wanted to claw his brothers’ eyes out but instantly purred with satisfaction at Lexi. He shook his head. No. He would not have these feelings. He had to stick to the plan. He needed time. He needed to keep his distance. He shot up from the bed and Lexi turned to stare at him disoriented by his sudden movement. He watched her shake her head as her hand lay flat on her chest.

Lexi had never felt such a pull towards Ryan. The way he shot away made her chest ache. For some reason she needed to keep him close. May be it was the fact that his presence washed away the nightmares. Pushed back the memories, he stood like a knight shielding her from her past. She was so confused. His words had triggered her, yet his presence soothed her.

Right now her need to be soothed outweighed her concern about her future. “Umm. Tell me more about the bond”. She propped the pillow up and looked wide eyed at Ryan.

“You should get some rest it's still early morning”. Ryan countered, stare at Tom who was making himself more comfortable in his mate’s bed.

“I’m ok. I'm awake now”. It was truth. She wouldn't go back to sleep after that nightmare. She was actually a little afraid her mind would take her back to that cell.

“Don’t think anyone of us is going back to sleep, Ry. Come on. I love to hear about fated mates”. Lexi looked at the young wolf. She didn’t realise how young he actually looked until she observed him up close. His mass made him seem older yet his bright face made him look younger than 20. He beamed at her, showing his perfectly shining white teeth. Giving her a wink. Ryan growled at the young werewolf who shuffled further away from Lexi almost balancing on the edge of the bed.

“Dew dew dew. Someone isn’t a morning wolf”. Tom jested. Ryan ran his hand over his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He finally grabbed one or the chairs and dragged it closer to the side of the bed.

“Where did we get too?” He searched his memory. “Ah. So mates one soul etc. Right so mates will be drawn to each other. The bond heightening their feelings for one another. Creating feelings, I mean, causing a link between the two. Once each is found, the bond starts to strengthen. The need to mate develops to make the soul one again.

“How do you know when you find your mate”. Ryan c****d his eyebrow before rolling his eyes.

“If you was a werewolf you would scent them first. Then my wolf became restless. Him wanting to talk to you, to protect you and….touch you. Make you happy and safe. The sparks when our skin touch is another indicator. The way our bodies seek each other. It's the start of the mating as the bond strengthens”. Lexi blushed. He had noticed the times she had leaned into him involuntarily and he had wanted to touch her. In truth she wanted to touch him too. All this explained her strange behaviour throughout their encounter.

“Why didn’t I feel the sparks in the cabin”.

“Wwww what did you do in the cabin?” Tom suggestive voice made her reddened even further.

“Stop it”. she playfully slapped his arm.

“The wolfsbane”. Ryan continued to glare at Tom. “When you fell on me my body was healing. It had a layer of scarred skin due to the wolfsbane. Plus. The drug was probably still in my system”. He frowned looking down at his hands folded on his lap. That drug had become an issue.

“What's mating?” Ryan’s’ head moved so fast to look at Lexi she was sure that he would have whip lash. Tom lay back laughing.

“What?! Did I say it wrong?” The reaction from the wolves made her self-conscious.

“No. No. Lexi. Go on Ryan. Tell her what mating is”. Tom looked up at the ceiling grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Oh. Um”. Wait, was the big bad Alpha stuttering. Lexi looked on intrigued, he look flustered.

“So. When you find your fated mate. To make the bond complete you mate. Which is umm... he cleared his throat. Making love”. Tom screeched with laughter.

“Making love?! Its s*x Lexi, primal hard core s*x”. She looked at Ryan her mouth forming a perfect circle shock and understanding.

“Tom!...well yes ok...its having s*x and once you start the bond will intertwine the souls and the werewolves mark each other, a small bit on the neck. Each werewolf will then carry their mates mark. The bond will mean that each mate will feel each other emotions. Linked through their soul. They can even read each other mind. Dive into their memories. It's to ensure that if one mate is in danger then the other will sense it and come to their aid, I guess”. Truth be told, this was what he read in books as his parents were chosen mates and he was too proud to ask the fated mates in his pack.

“So you bite each other? Oh. Oh I get it. It's like a Cupitus”. She felt Tom tense beside her.

“Little star. How do you know what a Cupitus is?” Tom looked at her concerned and then to Ryan.

The room went quiet.

“Are you doing that mind linky thing”. She knew they were. “It’s kinda rude. Anyway. I used to live by a clan of vamps, my friend is pureblood prince”. Tom looked at her in disbelief. “I know they have a Cupitus. It sounds similar to a mate. They find each other through seeking which is basically the vampire pull, once cupitus look at each other their eyes change to the same shade. It's actually really cool. My friend said it's like his paradise came in the form of his cupitus. They also bite each other to form some blood bond. Loving each other unconditionally”.

Tom gawked at her. “Little star. You are full of surprises". He turned away.

“Pretty sure they don’t have souls so not sure how cupitus are formed”. Ryan actually laughed, she hadn’t meant it as a dig against the vampire community, she really didn’t believe they had souls, they were just dead like weird creature. She didn’t try to defend her statement; she was immersed in his deep and full laugh. She looked at him mesmerized.

“You right. They don't have souls but yes. I suppose the mate is similar to a cupitus”.

“So the bond makes you love me unconditionally or is it after we mate?” She hadn’t meant to say it like mating was certain. The words were already said but it didn’t stop her from wishing that she could shove them back down her throat. Ryan looked at her bewildered. He didn’t know how to answer that. His wolf howled yes. He fought back and swallowed those feelings. He didn’t love this human, or did he, no he couldn't, he wouldn't. Did she just imply she was willing to mate?

“Yes, its unconditional love from the start”. A small whisper came from the young werewolf lying on the other side of the bed with his hands behind his head eyes closed and a huge grin on his face.

Lexi heart fluttered, her stomach clenched, her core throbbed. Her body instantly yearning Ryan’s touch. His nostrils flared.

“Tom. Get out. Now”. Ryan growled.

“Ryan!”. Tom leaped up from the bed with a warning tone.

“I.said.get.out”. Tom slightly whimpered and his feet moved towards the door.

“You don’t know what will happen to the bond, to them, if you do this Ryan”. Tom closed the door throwing the words over his shoulders that she would forget instantly as Ryan spoke.

“You know sunshine. I can smell your arousal”. Lexi met his lusting gaze.

“What?!” Her breathe hitched, pushing herself further into her pillow trying to get away from Ryan.

“Don’t. Move. Sunshine”. His growl sending chills of pleasure to her core. What was happening? When did the feelings get this intense?

“Ryan. What are you doing?” She watched on as he crawled onto her bed, over her body. His eyes shimmer black then back to moss green. Her heart rate rocketed.

“Don't.move”.