Love and War: Short Story Collection

New Beginnings - Cecily Anne Winters

Anxiously, she awaited their guests. Why on earth she had agreed to host a New Year’s Eve party at their home was beyond her now. She hated parties, and hosting them even more! But her husband of five years had told her not to worry, it would be fun. How hard could it be, he’d said, smiling at her with his trademark ‘come hither’ smile. The same smile that had her drawn in the first day they’d met. The smile that still made her knees go weak and her panties vanish… how could she have told him no?

So, here she was.

“I still think…“, she started, rudely interrupted by doors being banged shut outside. Silently, she glided to the window overlooking the parking space. Half-hidden by the curtain, she peeked outside. A deep, heart-felt sigh left her chest before she steeled herself for what was to come. She put on her most jolly smile, silently pep-talking to herself: “It’s only a few hours. It will be alright. You can do this!”

“Honey, they’re here!” Mike called, unnecessarily, when the bell rang. “Where are you? You’re not still trying to find ways to get around it? Everything’s prepared already!” He laughed and winked at her from where he already stood by the entrance. Without waiting for her answer, he opened the door and gaily started to greet people, merrily complimenting them for all kinds of things.

He had always been the center of every party, while she was more introverted, one could say. But it was important to him, so she finally resigned herself to her fate. Ignoring the way she was dying a little bit inside with every person who entered, she jumped right into the role of a seasoned party caterer.

“Come, Myriel, let me take your coat.”

“Yes, uncle Nick, the house is just as ugly as it was when you last saw us. Nice you could make it, though.”

“Hi there, Vera! Marcel, the drinks are in the kitchen.” She only took a moment to smile at her siblings before returning to her duties until finally, everybody but her parents had arrived.

Unfortunately, that had been expected, as her mother hated gatherings of every kind with a passion. It didn’t help that mom didn’t especially like Mike either. No matter how happy he made her, in her mother’s eyes he would always remain a marriage swindler, way too far below her in station to ever be worthy of a second glance, much less to marry her firstborn daughter.

Yet, it always hurt to remember that with her marrying him, she’d lost every chance of ever pleasing her family, especially her mom. Determined not to let her pain show and seeing as everything else was coming together nicely, Livia unobtrusively went searching for her husband. She wanted and needed his comforting presence right now, to remind her that she had done the right thing when she traded him for her family.

Although their house wasn’t big, she couldn’t find him, which was… disconcerting, somehow. She wasn’t used to him being out of her sight if both of them were at home. A little crease settled between her eyebrows in response to her unhappiness.

Their house was nothing fancy, but she liked it a lot. The simple two-story building had a comfortable front porch to enjoy quiet sunsets. It had been her father’s wedding gift to her, as an olive branch, but still… she couldn’t suppress her sigh, and her mouth drooped slightly. They had remodeled their huge garage to store all of Mike’s collectibles, so that the remainder of the house and the little garden felt spacey and lofty. She especially loved the garden, where she grew both flowers and vegetables. It helped her stay grounded after long days spent teaching.

Of course, with the party in full swing, she wasn’t very fast in her search for Mike. There must have been what felt like a million aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins running around. Some of them raided the canapes she had purchased from a local restaurant. Staring at the dwindling buffet, she congratulated herself for ordering double of what she had planned on originally. Others were quickly draining the punch and snacking through the provided crisps and whatnot. A third group had created a makeshift dance floor by moving the carefully arranged tables off to the side. She huffed. Considering her luck, her mother would take a look at what had not been her doing in the first place and declare her completely unfit to even host a party. If she showed.

By now, Livia felt desperate for Mike’s presence. She needed him to soothe her. After all, this whole thing had been mostly his and her sister Vera’s idea! It would only be fair if he at least had her back now, when it had fallen on her to arrange and organize the stupid event. Maybe she should have insisted on doing it at Vera’s little flat instead…

Hastily grabbing more canapes in the kitchen, she also remembered to pull out the desserts. Mike’s brother helped her setting up the coffee machine more prominently, so everybody could get his or her own coffee.

“Felix,” before he could vanish into the sea of people again, she quickly grabbed hold of his arm, “have you seen Mike? I can’t find him.” She hated how angsty and clingy she sounded, but she couldn’t help it. She felt like it’d been hours since everybody arrived and she really needed a hug and a kiss to get her back into a party mood.

Felix gently smiled at her. “No, I haven’t seen him in a while. But - if you don’t mind me saying it - you don’t look too good. Do you want to lie down for a few minutes? I can pave a way to the stairs for you if you want.”

“Thank you, but don’t you think it’d be rude if the hosts just vanish?”

“You’ve set everything up beautifully. I believe we’ll survive half an hour on our own.”

Looking down worriedly to her, he didn’t wait for another reply but simply took her hand and easily forged a path through the people for them.

After finally arriving at the bottom of the staircase, she felt ridiculously happy at the prospect of a few moments spent alone.

“Thank you so much! Do you really think…”

“Look around, Livy. Does anything look like it needs your urgent attention?” He calmly interrupted her hesitant voice, staring straight into her eyes. The sincerity she detected in them did a lot to calm her down further.

Following his request, she slowly swept her gaze over the hustle and bustle. She silently agreed with him: The party was in full swing, and it looked like it would stay so even without her immediately hovering around. Unfortunately, she still didn’t see Mike. Her shoulders sagged a bit more, before - with a small smile and a tired wave - she turned around and trudged up the floor.

“Livia,” she barely heard Felix over the noise all around them, but halted in her tracks, “maybe he got a headache and rests for a bit too. He might just have forgotten to tell you - you know how he is.”

Yes, she knew exactly how he was. The staircase had never looked so long since moving in. If she was honest with herself, looking beyond Mike’s smile and his gregarious nature didn’t show a lot of … depth. She sighed. He loved collecting stuff, usually shiny things with little to no use apart from standing around and taking up space. Lego brick sets. Anime figurines. Car miniatures.

Another sigh, heartfelt and deep.

She hadn’t paid it a lot of mind in the beginning. It was just a quirky, adorable little hobby of his. Until she had found out that it had gotten really out of hand. Seriously, how could one get into debt about stupid collectibles, for crying out loud! Tens of thousands of dollars at that! What was there to do, really, rather than step in and bail him out? They were married, after all…

Quickly, she wiped a telltale tear from her cheek.

The night before she paid his debt, they had had their first real fight. She clearly remembered it, her being assertive for the first time in their relationship: no more new collectibles or he would have to pay her back every last penny. She even had set up a contract between them, and insisted he sign it beforehand.

He went completely ballistic on her.

Although she was terribly afraid of him in that moment, she hadn’t given an inch. It was her hard earned money she was spending on him and if he wanted to have the topic solved easily, he needed to sign. Even remembering the shouting, the accusations and the hatred he spewed at her made her shiver in fear. Again.

Another tear fell. This time, she let it run freely.

She had moved the signed contract into her safe deposit box at her father’s lawyer company before making the payment and made sure both Mike and her father knew about it.

When she finally arrived at the top of the stairs, she took another look at Felix. He still stood at the bottom, seemingly guarding it from anybody following her. How cute!

Turning into the corridor towards the master bedroom, she couldn’t help but compare Felix and Mike. Would she have fallen for Mike if she had met Felix before?

“No,” she shook her head, “no, I wouldn’t.” Startling herself with stating this truth aloud, she took in a steadying breath. Felix was like the polar opposite to Mike, maybe not as introverted as she was, but way less gregarious than Mike. He also held a steady, decently paying job at an IT company, whereas Mike hadn’t been able to find work for the last two years or so. Despite him being mostly at home, all the housework and the cooking was still hers to do after she came back from work. In Mike’s opinion, teaching wasn’t hard, so there was still plenty of time for her to do her share of work at home.

“But what actually is your share of work done at home?” Her whispering the question made her tremble all over. What was wrong tonight? Why did she start to see all these truths today of all days? And why did it hurt so much?

She had to stop, heavily leaning against a wall lest she’d fall. Wearily, shoulders slumped, she stood there for what felt like forever. Maybe she had a Scrooge moment, being visited by the Ghost of Past New Years? An invisible one?

“But why? What should I do now?” Her murmured queries seemed to grow louder around her, drowning out the party noise coming from below until she had to cover her ears from them. Crumbling on the floor, all on her own for the first time in what felt like forever, she succumbed to her feelings and let her tears come.

Each drop of water leaving her eyes seemed to bring up another ugly memory. Another reminder of how shallow and callous a partner Mike really was.

She couldn’t even pinpoint anymore why she had agreed to marry him. They had been on a few dates only, when he had invited her out once more. He had looked especially dashing and handsome in his gray suit when he fetched her, complimenting her all evening long. Chatting her up with romantic nonsense until she wasn’t thinking straight from laughing anymore. Right at midnight, he had the waiter bring a beautiful, massive bouquet of flowers and there, in the middle of the restaurant, he had proposed to her in a flourishing gesture that had swept her off her feet, right into this marriage.

Maybe… just maybe, her mother had been right?

Breathing deeply, she meditated over this question until all that was left from her crying spree were small hiccups. She felt strangely invigorated and free, like the tears had washed away all the dust and cobwebs that usually cluttered her brain. Slowly, carefully, she drew herself up from the floor, tightly clutching the wall until she felt that her feet actually were steady enough to carry her again.

It might sound weird, but she knew exactly what she had to do now.

As quickly as she could, she made her way over to the bathroom. Scrubbing her face clean of any smeared makeup, she also washed away the last remains of her moment of truth. Splashing water on her face with two hands felt incredibly refreshing. Intuitively, she knew she was back to being clear and level-headed. She put both hands on the cool washing basin and leaned closer to the mirror, watching herself carefully.

Her dark blue eyes seemed to have caught a fire she hadn’t seen there in years. Her whole body looked and felt relaxed, as if a huge weight had lifted from her shoulders. Her nose was still a bit red, and crinkled from catching a foreign smell. She knew that smell…

Mentally putting it into the ‘I know what to do’ compartment of her mind, she raised herself, smiling happily at the mirror.

“Looking good, girl,” she murmured, very much pleased with both her looks and her demeanor. A last brush through her shimmering golden-brown hair, and she all but skipped towards the door of the master bedroom, humming a little tune. When she stood right in front of the door, she took another deep breath. She leaned against the wall next to the door, listened closely and pulled something out of her pocket.

Behind the closed door, she heard him now.

Oh, he thought he was so clever, but she finally knew what was going on.

“A headache, my my,” her smile was now a cat’s setting her eyes on a mouse, “but that won’t do, no, no.” Drawing on all her crappy acting skills, she thought back to the last time she had wanted - no, needed - to meet with her best friend. Just a phone call would have been okay, just five minutes. But no, Mike had found a very clever way why she couldn’t even call Becky that day. Or any other day, for that matter. Very abruptly, he had gotten really sick so it would have been awfully inconsiderate of her to go out, like she had been looking forward to for a few weeks already. She had been so down that evening, feeling like all life and happiness had been sucked out of her, and maybe, as she had realized just before, maybe that’s what actually had happened.

Livia felt her shoulders sagging once again, purposefully clinging to sad and depressing memories until she was back at the brink of tears. Then, she checked the correct hold on her phone, pushed ‘record’ and opened the door.

“Harder, Mike, harder!” Vera screeched, while her sharp nails drew blood from his back.

“Yeah, baby! Tell me what you need!” He clung to Vera’s shapely thighs, while desperately pumping into her. Both of them seemed to be close to another orgasm, and the whole room reeked of s*x. Panting and grunting, they didn’t realize they got company.

“What…“, gasping, Livia threw a hand in front of her mouth, “Mike! Vera! What… what are you doing?” She screamed, high-pitched, running towards the bed to get a better angle on the video.

“Livia… honey…” Mike jumped off Vera like lightning had struck him, trying to grab her. “It’s not what it looks like…”

“What do you mean it’s not what it looks like?” If possible, Livia’s voice got even higher, shriller. “Do you seriously want to tell me you’re not f*****g my sister in our bed while I am busy hosting a stupid party that both of you had the idea to begin with? How stupid do you think I am?” By now, she was furious, walking dangerously close to her still naked husband, ready to smash him on the head or to hit him if he presented her with the smallest opportunity to do so.

“And you?” Like a flash, she turned her rage on her sister, “does it feel good to get f****d by your brother-in-law? Does it feel good to destroy a marriage?”

Vera at least had the decency to blush slightly.

“Livy, honey…” Mike tried to touch her again, but she wouldn’t have it.

“Don’t you honey me, you… you… adulterer! Was that why both of you insisted on hosting this lovely party? Just so you could spend all night f*****g? Answer me, damn it!”

He held up his arms in admitted defeat.

“Livy…”

“Just answer me! Or I swear, you’ll…”

“Yes,” Vera’s voice was very quiet, but she heard her nonetheless, “we had it all planned out like this.”

“Vera…” Mike’s voice turned harsh.

“What? We were planning on telling her anyway, so why bother to hide it further?”

“This is not the right time! We agreed on…”

“Ah, I get it.” Livia interrupted him, feelings of anger and hurt churning through her stomach, making it hard for her to breathe. “You already had a master plan, so you could get me into a more favorable mood? A better way to tell me to go f**k off, you don’t love me anymore? You’re plucking the younger sister who is more fun in bed and whose funds are not depleted?” Livia snarled at Mike. “Or did you want me to take on the bad cop’s part, making me feel like I wouldn’t love you enough anymore? Leaving you no choice but to divorce me? Maybe even cutting a bit into my savings for all the bad I’ve supposedly done you?”

He looked at her, completely flabbergasted.

“What? You think I haven’t understood how you operate during the five years we have been married?” Her voice grew tired, her shoulders slumped, and she let out a little snivel for good measure.

“You know what, Vera? You can have him. If you think he’s such a price that you choose him over me, feel free to take him.”

Turning around, she looked at Mike, defeat shining clearly in her eyes.

“What? You let me go, just like that?” His mouth opened and closed repeatedly, like a fish.

“What use is there to fight the inevitable? You two love each other enough to not give a single f**k about my feelings. You were even planning on how to make me divorce you so you could get another cut of my money.” Harshly laughing, she looked at him, then let her gaze sweep over her sister’s voluptuous figure, still sprawled out obscenely in their bed.

“She’s beautiful, I give you that. I was always a bit envious of her lovely figure.” Sighing, she looked at Mike again, allowing the tears to fall now.

“Maybe…” she sniveled, “maybe she even bears you the child you so desperately wanted but I wasn’t able to give you.”

“But… Livy… sweety…” Mike was still shocked. He had always been very bad with things going bonkers, and this night was clearly not turning out the way he had envisioned it.

“No, no…” she turned away from both of them, covering her eyes with her hands, trying to hide the jubilant smile on her face while simultaneously stopping the video, “I… I guess I… understand, somehow. You are a man in your prime, looking for… the family you never really… had.”

By now, her shoulders were shaking from what she hoped looked like another round of tears, when, in fact, she was barely able to contain her laughter. She knew for an absolute fact that Mike hated children while Vera had wanted them since she turned eighteen some twenty years ago. Mike would never get out of this now!

He had the audacity to grasp her shoulders, but she quickly shook loose.

“Don’t you touch me! I’m through with you!” She screeched, gyrating towards them again. “If you touch me again, I’m not responsible for my reaction, you filthy scumbag!”

“Now come, don’t be so hard on us,” his voice became pleading, his bottom lip stuck out . “We didn’t mean to make you feel so bad…”

Vera made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a shriek.

“How did you think she would feel when we told her you’d leave her for me?” Irritated, she wrapped a bed spread around herself and finally got up from the bed. “Did you really think she would just stand there, smile and be happy for us?”

When Mike didn’t even bother to look at her, she slapped his back, hard.

“I’m talking to you! What did you think she’d do?”

“You b***h! Don’t you dare hit me again!” Mike growled at Vera. “That’s not befitting of a woman!”

“Ha! You can suck up your old fashioned point of views, pal, because I’m not Livia. We’re going to elope right after your divorce is done, just like you promised me. And then we’ll have our honeymoon in Mauritius! I always wanted to go there,” her voice turned dreamy, “and we can start making babies already!”

Livia knew the fanatic gleam in her sister’s eyes all too well, and she nearly felt a pang of sympathy for Mike, when his face fell.

But she had no intention of keeping him, not now, not anymore. He would leave and she would learn to be strong on her own again.

So, she sniveled some more, hanging her head low and stating lowly but firmly: “Pack your stuff, Mike. I can’t live with an adulterer, with somebody whose vows mean nothing to him.” Her voice trembled and died, real tears falling for the first time now that the adrenaline started to settle.

“I want you to leave be… before midnight, so I can properly - sniff - I mean, cleanly…” another pause, then, “I don’t… think, I… I want to see you… any time soon.”

Slowly, looking and feeling defeated, she went to the wardrobe, pulling out his suitcase.

“Livy… honey…” wide eyed and forlorn, Mike stared at her, his eyes trying to probe hers, trying to get her to change her mind.

“Stop trying to wiggle your way back into her good graces. Hop, hop, pack your stuff, honey bun, we only have half an hour to vanish from here. Thanks for being so understanding, Livy!” Vera breezily waved at her elder sister, grabbing Mike’s hand and opening his side of the cupboard.

“I’ll… I’ll leave you to it, then. Bye-bye.” Still sniffing, Livia turned and walked out of the room, silently closing the door behind her. Quietly checking her phone, she saved the recording to two separate online servers. Then, she set the timer to five minutes before midnight, and put it back into a pocket.

Another short trip to the bathroom and she let herself go back to the party. A quick sweep over the guests from above showed that nobody seemed to have missed her. Happily, she found she didn’t have to force a smile on her lips anymore. There even seemed a new spring to her step, one she hadn’t ever had before.

Dutifully, when her alarm went off, she started to get out the Champaign and the glasses to properly toast with her guests when the clock struck midnight, all the while keeping an eye on the entrance. When Felix understood that she wanted to stay in sight of the entry, he gladly took over the fetching of more bottles as well as orange juice for all drivers or those who didn’t like alcohol.

So, exactly two minutes before midnight, Livia saw Vera usher a bedazzled Mike out of the door with only a suitcase and his coat.

Clinking her glass with Felix’, she smiled as the clock chimed.

“Happy New Year! To new beginnings!”

Author Pen name: Cecily Anne Winters

The Merking (Dreame/In.kitt)

Author groups/websites/pages:

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