If Only

Chapter 1

Katrina's POV

My mate is going to come back...I want to die because my mate has always been a jerk to me and he is the main person who torments me.

He is the soon-to-be Alpha Justin Landis. He rejected me when he found out that we were mates and kept torturing me for years. Even worse, my parents don't love me, but I don't think they love anyone but themselves. The only thing that is keeping me here is my older brother, Leo.

Leo has been taking care of me since we were little, and he has always treated me like an older brother should treat his younger sister. He is very protective of me, and he helps me out whenever he's not busy by sneaking me food and stopping people who try to bully me. I wish I could go live with him instead of in the pack house, but Justin has forbidden it. I still remember the time I tried to run away to Leo's house one night when I was younger and I was being bullied. The punishment that I received for it was one where I still have the scars to remember it by. Emotionally and physically.

The only other good thing about my life is my wolf, Haley. She's like an older sister/mother/friend to me, and other than my brother, she's the only person, or wolf, that I talk to.

"Katrina, you have to hurry up, someone is coming," Haley says to me.

I finish everything I need to do right before I hear the commotion of a bunch of people as they enter the dining room.

"What are you still doing in here?" Justin sneers at me.

"I was just making sure everything was set for your welcome home party," I mumble, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Well you should leave, you're making everyone uncomfortable," Justin says while glaring at me.

"Yes alpha," I say before basically running away.

I hear the sound of people laughing at me, but I'm honestly scared for my life. The last time I didn't leave the room fast enough, he almost beat me to death and my fellow pack members either joined in, or they just watched and laughed.

I quickly run to my "room" and close the door. My room is actually the attic, and my "bed" is just two sheets and a pillow. This has been where I've slept ever since I can remember. My parents didn't want me to sleep in the same house as them, and apparently there wasn't enough room at the pack house, so I got the attic.

"Cheer up," Haley says to me

"How am I supposed to 'cheer up' when my life has been bad since the day I was born?" Sometimes, I don't understand how she can be so positive all the time.

"You have reasons to be happy, and you will know them soon, child."

"Why can't I know now?" I ask.

She just chuckles before she goes back to the corner of my mind.

~~~~

Harris's POV

"Hide Harris! Don't let them see you!" my mom yelled at me before she pushed my 5 year old self into the closet. She tries to move away from me, but I grab her arm and stare at her with wide eyes.

"Mom! Where are you going?" I ask before she leaves.

"Shhh, just stay down, and don't come out until your dad and uncle get here," she says just as the door bursts open and 5 men step into the room.

I quickly pushed myself further in the closet, but I kept the door open just a crack so I could still hear and see what was happening.

"Would you look at what we got here? The Luna all by herself without her mate to protect her," the biggest man says.

"What are you doing here Jimmy?" my mom says with a glare. I wonder how she knows these people. I don't think I have ever seen them before. I know I would remember a face as hideous as his.

"Well I'm just returning a favor for a good friend," he says before he lunges at my mom and starts choking her. My mom tries to hit him and pry his fingers off her throat, but he doesn't budge. I whimper quietly to myself, and I hope that my dad gets here soon. I wish there was something I could do to help her, but I'm too small.

All of a sudden, I can see my moms body growing weaker, and after a while, she stops moving.

I hear the guys say something about his debt being paid before he drops my mom onto the ground and leaves the room with the other men following him.

Once I hear the front door slam, I quickly run to my mom and start shaking her arms, hoping that she will get up. I feel tears running down my face as I realize that she's not breathing anymore.

I hear the front door slam open and then I hear the sound of feet running up the stairs. My father and uncle quickly walk in the room, but when they see my tear-filled face and my mother's dead body, they stop. My dad's eyes start turning darker until they are completely black and his face is filled with rage.

"D-daddy?" I whimper. I take a hesitant step closer to him and his glare intensifies.

"This is all your fault. You are a worthless piece of trash, and I hate you," he says, his voice filled with venom.

~~~~~~~~~~

When I wake up, I can feel my heart racing, and my breath is coming out in short pants. I've been having this nightmare since the day it occurred. After my moms death, my father turned into a heartless monster, and he would beat me and anyone who was "disrespecting" him.

At first, I tried to reason with him, but after a while, I started to resent him and I started fighting back. He was mistreating the pack and was running it to the ground. On my 15th birthday, I fought him for his alpha title, and I won, but it was not without a price. He killed himself after he lost because his depression finally consumed him. At least now he is with his mate.

Mate.

A 4 letter word that means so much to me. I want my mate, my wolf wants our mate. I've been to most packs around the world, but I still haven't found her.

"I want my mate," My wolf, Brandon, growls in my head.

"Our mate, and we will find her soon," I say, but I'm starting to get worried. Maybe the rumors are true, and I won't have a mate because of how cold-blooded I have become. The only difference between my father and me is that I'm not mistreating my pack.

A lot of people probably don't think I want a mate, but the thought of having a mate is the only thing that has kept me relatively sane.

The thought of having someone who will love me unconditionally, even with my flaws, is amazing. I can't wait to meet my mate, and my pack can't wait to have their Luna. My beta says that having a mate will help me loosen up.

I know I'm not the most pleasant person to be around, but I can't help it. My pack and I didn't get our reputation from always smiling and holding each other's hands while singing songs. My pack has been trained, and even though we aren't always the nicest people, we aren't always killing people just for fun, like some people think. We are smaller than most packs, but we are also stronger, faster, and smarter.

Most packs have asked for alliances with our pack, but we like to keep to ourselves. This is another reason why some people think badly of us, they think we are stuck up, but we aren't. We're just like any other werewolf pack.

I'm interrupted from my thoughts by a phone call. Once I see who is calling, I growl in frustration. This alpha has called me so many times to tell me how lucky I would be to be an ally with his pack, but I honestly don't care. The alliance wouldn't benefit my pack in any way, especially since their pack is so far away. I try to ignore the phone, but he keeps calling, so I finally answer.

"What do you want?" I growl out.

"Alpha Harris! I was just calling to see if you have thought of the proposition I gave you the last time we spoke?"

"I have thought it over, and the answer is still no," I say, already getting annoyed by this pup.

"Alpha, I really think that you should consider this! It would be a great opportunity for both our packs!" he says enthusiastically.

"Your pack has nothing to offer for me. If this is the only reason you called th-" I start, but he cuts me off

"Wait! Please! Before you make this decision, will you please come down here and see the pack for yourself? If you do that, I promise I won't bother you anymore."

I sigh before saying, "Fine, I will be there next Thursday, I will stay for 3 days, and if you can't convince me by then to form an alliance with your pack, you need to leave me alone."

"Thank you! I'm sure you will see that my son will be a great choice to have as an ally!" he says before he hangs up the phone.

I quickly mindlink my beta about this trip and tell him to make preparations.

I don’t expect at that time I this trip Atlas Fall Pack will change my life forever.