The Alpha's Rejected Mate

Chapter 5

-Jake's P.O.V-

It doesn't take me long to realize that losing myself in my own grief will do no help to Claire. I climb down, ignoring the possibility of falling as I became determined to reach her. Once I feel that it isn't too high, I drop , immediately swimming towards Claire. She is cold to the touch.

I lift her up with caution, afraid to break her body even further, the current almost knocking me down as the thought of her being dead makes me weak on the knees. My wolf is whimpering, his agony at his seeing his mate like that only makes me feel weaker. I almost didn't want to check, but at the same time I felt like I couldn't check fast enough whether she was alive.

I place my head on her chest, and feel it go up slightly, making be let out the breath I was still holding. I made sure my grip on her was tight before I swim back to solid ground. She doesn't even stir in my hold, no signs of life other than the slight rise of her chest that is barely enough to keep me sane.

The forest run is even more rushed now, even as I am making the race for my life, I do my best to hold Claire carefully. I don't even hesitate to run into the pack house, looking for Lucia, our pack doctor, my mind going back to the letter Claire had left me, making my guilt increase.

I became enfatuated with the thought of a mate, thinking that when I found mine I would finally be happy, I thought that you would make me happy, funny how much of a fool I was.

I shake my head as I finally reach the medical bay, trying my best to find Lucia, she isn't hard to find. Her eyes immediately drop down to Claire's limp body in my arms, worry clear in her eyes.

"Follow me Jake, lay her in the bed, we have to work quickly" She tells me as she goes around the room, gathering utensils and checking on Claire. "You have to leave the room, I'll call her brother"

I almost disagree with her, but I understood that it was what was best for Claire, and Lucia wasn't going to let me stay. I go sit down outside the room, covering my face with my hands.

Finding out who you were to me was a surprise, I mean, after all you've done to me, who would've thought we were fated to be together? I accepted it though, I accepted you and forgave what you had done to me, but you just couldn't accept me.

I felt someone arrive and I looked up to see Zack come in with a panicked look in his eyes, I wanted to punch him for not noticing what was going on with Claire, but then I was reminded that the fault did not solely fall on him, it fell on me as well.

My mother always told me about mates and how much happiness they could bring to you, she didn't know about the pain and emptiness they could bring as well, I was deluded from a young age to think that you were my savior, I never thought that I would be your curse.

"Is she dead?" Zack's question brought me back for a second, and I tried to open my mouth but no word would come out, I only shook my head, trying to keep my pain strictly on the inside.

" How is she doing?''

" I don't know, Lucia threw me out of the room"I told him, thinking of all that could be happening right now inside the room. I could still lose my mate, she would be gone and I would be forced to live with half of my soul.

You are destined to be with your mate, and your mate only. I just relied on the bond to keep you faithful, I relied on the bond to make you mine. I should have done more, because the moment I looked away you were gone and in the arms of someone else that were not my own, it hurt to think that you preferred them over the ones that were created for you.

I couldn't even think of anything else other than her and the note she had left me. It was so full of pain that I couldn't believe how long she had held out for, how strong she was to hold on for something that wasn't even worth it. A tear came out of my eye as I realized how much I had let her down.

After the death of my parents, no one was really there for me, I thought you would be, guess I was wrong.

I couldn't keep the shame from consuming me entirely, she had been so alone and I only worked on making it worse for her. She only wanted someone, yet no one could give her that, not even me, her mate, who was supposed to protect her and at the end caused her even more pain.

This is my goodbye to you, as well as my apology. I am sorry I wasn't good enough, I really didn't expect to be such a dissapointment.

I wanted to scream at her and tell her that she wasn't a dissapointment and tell her she was the best thing that could have happened to me, that she was way too good for me and that I would work every day until I could make up for the pain that I brought onto her, even if it was impossible.

I never considered myself worthless, even after all those years of bullying and being treated like trash, I never thought for a single second that I deserved it. I thank you for the wakeup call, even if its delivery was harsh, I really needed it.

That part of the letter made my face pale even more, thinking back at what I had told her and regretting every word, I wanted to go back and punch myself in the face. My wolf growled in approval of my thoughts.

Dear Jake,

I couldn't help but look down as I realized how much of a failure to her I was, as a future Alpha who let a pack member suffer through so much, and as a mate.