I Saw You

I SAW YOU

"I'll keep on waiting," I whispered as I read the message that Benjamin sent me.

I sighed. All he did was to pursue me. I keep on pushing him away because my parents keeps on nagging at me, telling me that I should study first, so that I can be a Doctor... Even I don't want to.

"Sadira, come on and let's eat," my mother said from downstairs.

I get off my bed and wear my slippers. I went to the dinning room. The table is ready. My brother is already in his seat while holding his phone.

"Son, don't use your phone!" my father told my brother.

I sat beside my brother. He put down his phone and pick up the spoon and fork.

"Sadira."

I looked at my mother.

"How's your studies? Your advisor told me that you didn't got the highest score on your exam, why?" she asked.

I sighed.

"Answer your mother," father said.

"I-I forgot some of the answers--"

"That's why you should always do your best. You must study hard for you to perfect your exams," mother said.

She's already getting into my nerves.

"I want to see your test papers. You're distracting yourself, that's why you can't perfect your exam--"

I stood up. I can't take those words anymore.

"I did my best! I didn't sleep for days just to study. I keep on reading and reading. Being a med student isn't that easy, Mom!" I shouted.

"SADIRA!" father stamp the table and looked at me.

I can see the anger in his eyes.

"You always saw the wrongs I've done even I did most is right. How can you say that I didn't do my best? You did not saw how hard I've felt. How difficult it has been. You didn't saw it, Mom, Dad. You guys want me to be perfect when you know that no one's perfect in this world!" I shouted and walked out the door.

I didn't know what I should do. It's already dark outside but I walked out our house. All I feel is anger. My feet brings me into a riverside.

"It's sad, they never appreciate me."

I sat on the grass and watch the water flows.

"They are not the only person in the world. If you think, they don't appreciate you, well, someone else do."

I heard his voice.

"Benjamin?" I whispered and looked at my back, I saw him, standing.

"As always," he said and sat beside me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You didn't response to my message. I bought you some ice cream," he said and gave me a cup of ice cream.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

"I told you, I can't entertain boys," I said.

"I know, that's the reason why I'm happy. If another man courts you, you will just push them away like what you're doing to me!" he said and laughed.

"Whatever," I whispered and get the ice cream in his hands.

I actually have a crush on him. Not because of his looks but because of his personality. He's not rich, not like us. When I feel sad, I always come here at the riverside to feel calm. Then, Benjamin will come and seat beside me.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"You're not going here for no reason," he said.

I looked far away. He knows me well even if I don't entertain him. He's too observant.

"My Mom knew that I didn't got the highest score on our examination, she's mad."

I felt his hand on my back. He softly tapped it. I smiled.

I don't close friends because most of them are annoyed at me. They are insecure that I have a high grades, they didn't know that I am doing it for my family, not for myself. I am so pressured.

Silence.....

We watched the moon and feel the river flows. The cold wind and the animals sounds. He didn't say anything at all but at least, I can feel that I am not alone.

******************

Days passed. It's summer. We have reunion, my mother and father's family are at our house. They are celebrating the achievements of their children.

"Sadira, we heard that you lose the rank 1. How that happened?" my auntie asked.

My Mom stopped on she's doing and looked at me like she's going to eat me.

"M-my classmates are kinda smart than me," I said.

"Your cousin Freya, since elementary she's always the rank 1 in her class," my auntie said.

The other members of the family compliments Freya.

"My eldest son, George. He passed the board exam last week and he's already an engineer," my uncle said.

"Sadira," Mom called me, "You should be like them."

I can't take it anymore. I stood up and walked away.

"SADIRA! YOUR MANNERS!" father shouted.

I didn't bother to look back, as I arrived to the riverside. I am waiting... For someone.

"Are you coming? Should I text you--ow, I forgot my phone..."

I looked around. He's not here, Benjamin isn't here. I don't know but why does it feels like, I need him. I want to see him.

"Thank you, Benjamin." I looked at the sky. "I didn't even know how to thank you."

************************

Years passed.

"CONGRATULATIONS DOCTOR SADIRA RAMOS."

I smiled and hugged my classmates who also passed the board exam.

"You did great," my mother said and gave me a little box.

I opened it and saw a necklace.

My father came and hugged me. "Congratulations, daughter." He gave me a bouquet of flowers.

"Thank you," I whispered.

As we goes home. I stopped by and walked to the riverside.

It's been years. I still can't forget him. He didn't talked to me for years, he didn't show himself, he didn't even said goodbye. I tried to contact him but he didn't respond.

"Benjamin, I did it," I whispered and looked at the sky.

"I know."

I was stunned. I know that voice, his voice.

I looked at my back and saw him, standing. He is holding a rose and walked closer to me. He handed me the rose.

"You're back?" I asked.

"Yes, for you."

I smiled.

"You ghosted me," I said and pouted.

"I am sorry," he whispered.

He pulled me and hugged me.

"It's been years, where are you?" I asked.

"I have to leave and work with my father in Manila. We found out that my mother have a breast cancer. We can't lose her. I stopped studying and work for my mother's hospital bills. I can't tell you, I was ashamed. If I can't give you a good life, then I should stop courting you, because you deserve better. But then, I remember that you have to study for ten years. I have ten years to do everything. When my mother was cured, I work hard and goes to school again. I studied engineering. Last week, I passed the board exam. I am an engineer now, am I too late? Do you have a boyfriend already?"

I don't know what to say. He has been into worst and I didn't helped him. After all, I still want him.

"Yes, I already have," I said.

His smile fades. He looked down. I hold his chin and he looked at me.

"It's you," I said and smile.

He didn't said a word and hugged me.

"You said, you're waiting for me. I didn't realize that I also do, I am also waiting for you...."

THE END.