we had spent the whole evening and night together getting to know each and every part of each other and my god he felt amazing, both of us fell asleep in each other's arms and I felt completely at peace and like I was home, when this morning came anxiety and over whelming sensation of 'I f****d it up again came over me and I felt sick to my stomach, Jaxon wasn't with me, he had gone I sat up in bed and looked around his clothes had gone too, I couldn't help but have a deep rooted self-hate for myself, Bruno had told me for the last few years that I was no good and I promised myself when he left I would be more guarded and I haven't done anything of the sort, oh my god panic is setting in, ... WAIT no I'm not going to do this there is obviously a reasonable explanation to all of this I will
