Submissively Addicted To You

Chapter One-3

The more he talked, the more he intimated, the more my body listened with rapt attention, stirred by this unexpected declaration.

“Thanks,” I reacted to the compliment with a blush, then nervously kept on talking. “So, where do you want to start? I thought maybe we should get all the periodicals in hand and start an outline of the paper. We could even flesh out the points right now so we have something to work with, then assign ourselves and the others some areas of research.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” he said. But he just stared at me with his head c****d and a pair of eyes that seemed to drive me into the wall with their ferocity. His next comment came off as casual, but it hit me with the force of a gunshot. “Or we can talk about why you look so f*****g hot and come off so frigid.”

I stared at him my mouth agape, as he reached back behind him and tossed what was left of his joint into an ashtray.

“You don’t know, do you?” he said when he turned back. He waited while I tried to find an answer. But none came. “You know I have a theory that what’s inside you is too damning to let out with just any guy. It goes deep, real deep.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” My nerves were shot. My hands sweating so much that I wiped them on my skirt. I felt like a rat caught in a trap and I stared around anxiously, finally saying, as I started to rise from my seat, “Maybe we’d better do this another time.”

“Oh, so you can run from it again.” He laughed. “Sit down.” His voice deepened to a command, then lightened quickly, “Remember? I don’t bite?”

I didn’t like him at all now and I didn’t trust him, I didn’t know what he wanted, and if it was to make fun of me, I couldn’t take that.

But then, he reached out to touch my face—not the way that Galen reached out to touch me—instead his hand claimed me, clutching me gently but firmly at my neck. He wasn’t cutting off air, but I could barely breathe.

Then he was off his chair, pulling me to my feet and backing me into the wall behind me with a hand at my crotch and the other wrapped inside my hair. His breath as he kissed my lips was hot and smelled of m*******a. I struggled because I thought I should, but not because I wanted to.

My resistance was rapidly breaking down as his lips lingered on mine.

“Dammit, Polly, you are hot,” he claimed when he broke the awkward clench. But he came back for more, this time going for the same hot wet valley that Galen had plummeted hours before. I still smelled of her, would Dale smell her lesbian scent on me, or was this just my imagination?

Dale pressed his body into mine so our groins were locked together so closely that I could feel his erection against my mound. Both were throbbing. He held my head in his hands. “When did you first realize that you need to be dominated?” he asked.

Like I should know. Until this day the thought hadn’t actually crossed my mind.

Or maybe it had…in all those steamy fantasies of s****l surrender that I m*********d to. However, until this day, I never connected fantasy and reality; I was perfectly content to keep them safely separate. Dale’s urgent question went unanswered as I grappled with the truth.

“How about pain?” he probed my brain further.

“No, please, this isn’t something I can talk about.”

“I don’t want to talk, Polly,” he grinned almost viciously.

I struggled hard, attempting to fight off what my body wanted, what it was bred for, what it imagined in those verboten masturbations.

“Please, Dale. I’m not ready for this. I don’t know you.” I pushed him back with some force.

He woke up in my reality, looking almost stunned by my resistance. Then he backed off, although not all that far, and withdrew his energy, telling me as if it really should be understood, “I have no plans to hurt you.”

I was again too flustered to speak.

“You are so remarkable, Polly, all this passion locked up in some vault. I hope you find the combination some day.”

Some day. Some day? What did that mean?

So sudden the assault, so sudden he takes it all back. Was that what I really wanted?

“I just need a little…” I sputtered. I bit my lip having no idea how I wanted to finish that line.

But the flustered reply was enough for Dale to act, all the consent he needed to move in closer and reach under my skirt and into my panties, not as aggressively as before, but his plan was still obvious.

I settled back against the wall, thoughts racing in a fiery panic as the well-constructed plans for maintaining my virginity diminished a little more with each second I allowed him to continue playing with my p***y. I could have come like that, like I had with Galen, but I wanted more: the whole damn thing—the lovemaking, the fairy tale, the whole nine romantic yards, even if it was just this one night.

“Are you going to abandon me when this is over?” I finally asked him.

“No, that’s not my plan,” he said. Though he sounded sincere, I had no reason to believe him. He moved back for another full frontal assault, with his hands tearing at my clothes, while mine reached out and began combing his body with the tentative gestures of a virgin. The dusty mellow light of afternoon filled the room around us, making me feel as if I was moving in a golden dream. Plenty of kissing and fondling followed, until I was too aroused to let this moment pass and feel the sting of regret the rest of my life.

He backed off, and this time took my hand and led me to the bed. What was left of our clothes was quickly shed, then, I lay back against the mattress and opened my thighs for him. A new fear nagged at my brain, until finally the truth leapt out.

“I’m a virgin,” I announced, just as he was ready to enter me.

He looked down, a little surprised at first, and then seemed strangely pleased.

“Then this is an honor,” he said, as if he meant that.

He went for my cunt and took it with one stiff, sure plunge.

I gasped, hurt.

“Easy now,” he whispered, as his body collapsed down against mine. He stroked my face and moved slowly, ever so slowly, so the pain seemed to melt away with the enormity of my pleasure building again.

Gradually to start, and then faster when I didn’t resist, Dale took the remains of my virginity from me. I didn’t need to come; just the act of being taken would have been enough and certainly I felt too overwhelmed for more. He pleasured himself with his hips thrusting down, harder and harder as the urgency of the orgasm took over.

When he finally climaxed, pouring himself into me with self-centered need, I thought I’d explode. He was on top, heavy against my slight body and I could feel his come all over me, in my breasts and groin, and belly, my arms and thighs and all the way to my fingertips I was vibrating. I wanted desperately to respond with the same ferocity, but I was hurting badly between my legs and his pulling out eased that pain. Then as he fingered my slit, my climax was on top of me almost instantly, so that for the second time in one day, I was writhing on an unfamiliar bed, this time at the mercy of a man I hardly knew and his efficiently working fingers.

It was not until we’d both come that I realized he was holding my hands over my head in a death grip so I could react to him only with my crotch. I felt terribly exposed and dominated, driven into submission and at the same time oddly elated by that very fact.

After Dale pulled off the bed, I remembered my nakedness with a blush of embarrassment. I wanted to hide in the corner, feeling sure that I’d done something stupidly wrong.

“I hope I wasn’t too hard on you,” he said, as he moved unhurriedly to the corner sink and filled a glass of water.

I stared at him as he drank, although I could barely look at his naked body. I wanted to take it into me again and hold it, and send it away at the same time. Anything I might have said seemed childishly silly; I had such fear of being dismissed. Would I want to see Dale again? Let him take me. Be his steady girl? The thought was certainly appealing. But for just a few weeks? I could hardly count on anything beyond that. College men about to graduate were not known for being lasting lovers. For Dale there was Harvard Law, serious study, and a career to ignite and nurture in a world far removed from this lazy Southern California golden dream.

“So, you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” I finally said, and I hurriedly scooted off the bed and reached for my clothes.

“There’s a little blood, you might want to wipe up.” Dale moved forward and handed me a towel.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” he smiled thinly. “You’re as good as I expected, Polly Montgomery.”

I was good? Should I be pleased? Having no previous experience with intercourse to compare this to, I had to take his word for it.

I smiled and looked away as I pulled on my skirt.

“You know, it’s going to be strange if we get going on this project together, I mean after this.”

“Why’s that?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I just have a feeling about it.”

“You think I’m going to dump you?”

I turned back. “I don’t know. Are you?”

He shrugged. “Never thought about it,” he admitted. “But with you? More than once makes a lot of sense.”

“Why’s that?” I was hooking my bra in back. Almost back to normal—a new de-virginized normal.

“It’s what I was trying to tell you. You’ve got something deep in you, Polly. You’re not like other girls. They f**k straight-forward. You’re never going to be like that.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Sorry, I can’t explain it better than that.”

“So, when do you want to work on the project?” I asked, as I straightened my t-shirt over my chest.

“Next week,” he said.

“Next week is fine. How about you give me a call? My schedule is pretty free.” I moved away from his ardent stare and nervously gathering my books from his desk.

“Write it down, your number.” He handed me a pen and motioned to the pad of paper on his desk.

Then the exchange was all businesslike. “I’m in my room most evenings, except Tuesday when I have studio time,” I explained.

“You’ll hear from me.”

I know I rushed the ending. I was so aching to be free of him and the room and my first attempt at making love. That we ignored s*x completely as we said goodbye seemed like a gross omission, but he said so much that I didn’t want to face just yet. I could hardly accept my submissiveness, let alone discuss it with a virtual stranger.

I rushed off because I was nervous and took the stairs much faster than I did before, feeling almost frantic to extricate myself from the building. The smells of dinner cooking were in the air as my feet hit the sidewalk. The encroaching night clung to my feverish body like a cloak. A little haze had already crept into the LA basin where it had been so pristine at daybreak; and when I breathed in, the air was not as clean, just back to normal.

But I was not my normal self. I never would be after that day. All my frames of reference seemed to have fallen away with such swiftness that it was going to take many days before I truly realized what happened.