So Many Times

Death by Fruitcake Chapter 2

“Raaandly daaaarrrlin’” Babs gives me a peck on the cheek as she wobbles in her high heels. “Le’ me take your coat.” She throws it on the floor. “There you go!” She hiccups and staggers backwards.

I guide Babs to the kitchen. “How about we get you a cup of coffee?”

“OK. Toot! Toot!” She giggles and falls against me.

I half lead, half carry her to the kitchen, then lean her against the counter. “Oh-oh.” The coffee pot is cold to the touch. “I’ll brew you some fresh coffee.”

“Coffee schmoffy.” Babs hiccups again.

“Where’s your darling hubby?”

“Ohhhh daaaarlin’ hubbly bubbly!” Babs sings out to Jasper.

Jasper staggers up behind me and grabs my shoulder. “If it isn’t my favorrrrrit bably brother.” He finishes up the drink in his hand. “Baaaaabsy, he’ll have whaaaaatever I’m dinky-drinking.”

“Yah, okee dokee” Babs pulls herself up straight, then falls back against the counter.

“Let’s cerrrebraaate!” Jasper yells. “Baaaaabs, bring the fffffffffruitcake!” Jasper shoves me downstairs to the den. He pulls out a bottle from the liquor cabinet, and sloshes its contents into two glasses. “To Dad.” We clink glasses.

“Zzzzup here ssssomewheeeeere.” Babs giggles and staggers to the pantry. “Heeeeere ‘tis.” She drops the fruitcake over the railing.

It hits Jasper on the head. He falls down.

I check his vital signs and shake my head. Death by fruitcake.