One Touch

5: An Eyesore

Throughout the whole school day, I felt as if I was being looked at through all my classes. I felt it on my back, but when I turned around, not a single student had moved from their desk or had their eyes on me.

I wasn’t being watched by the general crowd, but the popular gang had powerful gazes so it felt like a burn when their eyes settled on me. It wasn’t just today, it had been happening for several days. I’d catch either Ryu or Zavian observing me from their desks and I’d pretend to not notice them.

Today in Physics, I was playing with my pencil and focusing on the white board as the teacher taught us about kinetic molecular theory. My gaze shifted to the right where I saw Emerald glancing at me while drumming her fingers on the desk. I was quick to shift my gaze back to the board, but it started to worry me how these people began to pay attention to me out of nowhere. I couldn’t help but sneak a peek behind me, and again, Ryu’s mouth was set on a hard line as he narrowed his eyes at me.

What is this about? I pulled on the collar of my shirt to let some air in, because my nervousness made me real sweaty. Before I decided to concentrate on nothing but the lesson, I took a peep to the left. As expected, Caspian stared at me from the corners of his eyes, although it was difficult to tell. I knew he did this all the time, but it always stunned me. My shoulders hunched as I put a hand to my forehead.

Caspian sat straighter, breaking eye contact as a wry smile appeared on his face. It was so tiny I couldn’t be sure, but my perception of it was that he found something funny. He'd find anything funny that had my face on it, so I wasn’t surprised.

Before the bell to lunch sounded and everyone began to pack their backpacks, I built the courage to go and confront one of the popstars about whatever was going on. Most students would’ve liked the attention of the kingdom, but this was far from normal.

I approached Emerald since she was the closest to my desk. Her usual, straight blonde hair was pulled up into a ponytail of curls, and she wore a rosy eyeshadow that blended into her skin rather than one that popped out at me.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked her, and almost every student that heard me gave me astonished looks. Yes, how dare I speak to one of the kingdom queens? Emerald stretched her arm out and pointed, showing me the distance I had to maintain from her. I tried not to roll my eyes as I took a step back. I repeated my question.

“No. But I’ll allow two minutes,” she said, and I pressed myself to stay put and not walk away from her cringy superiority.

I lowered my voice. “Do you and the other people in your group want something from me?” I clenched the straps of my bag. “Seriously. What’s with the weird looks you’re giving me?”

Emerald was still for a moment, and then gave me a disdainful smile. “Us, looking at you?” Emerald said. Her voice was not as quiet as mine. “We don’t control your dreams, hon.” That had to be the most egotistical thing I’d heard in my life.

Little giggles and snickers spread around the room like fire, and my cheeks blossomed with embarrassment. The bell rang and I grabbed my books and backpack before rushing out the door. Why did I even bother going to her?

At lunch, a dark rain cloud floated above my head as I sat at our table in the cafeteria. Haiti and Luna didn’t recognize my bad mood, and I didn’t want them to either.

Atlanta showed up through halfway of lunch and took the seat beside mine. She examined me and I hid my face with the curtain of my auburn hair. Luna and Haiti talked to Atlanta the minute she came, and I continued to chew on my celery. Unlike my two friends, Atlanta figured out something was wrong when she stole another glance at me. But the way she hesitated to ask me about it, she probably knew what happened.

“Eve, are you okay?” she asked me in concern. I shrugged, and she didn’t press me to answer.

Just when I thought I’d be back to normal and forget what happened in class, Haiti leaned towards us and nodded to Ryu’s table. “Dude, they’re all looking our way and talking,” she said. “Do you think they’re talking about us? I think they’re looking at you, Eve.”

“Eve? Nah,” Luna said, sipping her straw. “Maybe they saw something interesting out of the window.” Was that supposed to be an indirect insult? She was my friend, so I didn't let it bother me.

“Luna’s right,” I mumbled. “They wouldn’t look at me in a million years. I’d only be dreaming if I thought they were.”

Atlanta opened her mouth to say something, but closed it. Whatever she had to say never came out. However, she did offer me her packet of garlic chips. I took those with grace as they were my favourite flavour. Atlanta had a huge appetite; it was one thing I learned about her. She always had something to eat during class and her plate was mounted with food at lunch. When I praised her metabolism, she shrugged.

I invited her over to my house today, and she agreed to come if Rick wasn't be there. He must’ve freaked her out the last time they’d met, and I went back to that episode and wondered what the hell he was thinking.

Caspian wasn’t too fond of the idea of her coming over to my house, but Atlanta ignored him as she got into my car. He even commented on how I might get into a car crash, and I tried not to retort.

“He worries too much,” Atlanta sighed as I pulled the car onto the road. I asked her what he was worried about and she didn’t reply.

Like most brothers, with my own as an exception, I’d assume Caspian was being overprotective. Still, being friends with Atlanta wasn’t a crime, although he perceived it to be.

I took Atlanta on a tour of my house, but it wasn’t all that exciting since it was nothing but plain walls and creaking wooden floors. She was interested nonetheless and I took her into my bedroom.

“Hm, I never noticed how nice ‘plain’ looked,” she commented, touching the bare wall. “I love how the window is right above your bed. You can see the full moon right through it as you sleep.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, it’s my favourite spot.” Then the thought of those red eyes popped into my head and I fidgeted with my fingers. Should I tell Atlanta about them, or let it be?

“Eve…I have,” Atlanta started, and I waited for her to continue. She was nervous by the way she glanced at me. “I’m sorry for what happened in school today. They were being mean to you.”

“The kingdom?” I said, and she added Luna and Haiti. I sat on the bed with a heavy sigh. “They’ve been my friends since the start of high school. They’ve been like that forever and I got used to it.”

She tucked some of her ivory hair behind her ear and sat beside me. “I, personally, never stayed friends with anyone for a long time. I couldn’t. I wasn't allowed to.” Sadness filled her voice and it got to me as well.

“But you can. Is it because your brother is telling you to stay away from everyone?” I asked. She had a far-off expression on her face, eyes stoned in a trance.

“Not everyone,” she said, and I raised an eyebrow. So, it was just me? “It’s hard to explain. You wouldn’t get it.” But she was ‘allowed’ to hang out with the kingdom, wasn’t she?

“Do you want to be friends with me?” I doubted for a second. Atlanta nodded her head, and it was so genuine yet showed guilt. “Then don’t listen to Caspian. We can manage a friendship just fine.”

“He doesn’t get it, but he has valid reasons,” Atlanta said. Her eyes travelled to my hands and pierced. “Can you give me your hand for a second?”

“Huh? Sure.” I gave her my hand and she held it between hers. They were warm, and it spread to where our skin touched.

All of a sudden, she let go and stood up. “Do you have anything to eat? I’m starving,” she said. I nodded awkwardly but took her downstairs. What happened back there?

“You had a huge lunch,” I said, opening the fridge. “How are you starving?” I was jealous of those people who could eat a lot and still maintain a healthy body weight. Atlanta was the epitome of such a person.

I laid out a bunch of random ingredients on the granite counter, and she made herself a sandwich. She had her own specialized recipe for making sandwiches that she preferred over a regular sandwich.

While she prepared the plate, the bell rang and I went to go get it. It must be mom since she usually came early on Fridays. I unlocked the door and held it open, surprised to see Caspian in front of me.

“Hi,” I said, and he crossed his arms across his chest. I had no idea what he came here for, but if I had to guess…

“I came to get Atlanta,” he told me. I pointed behind me, telling him that she was making a sandwich for herself. “She has her own kitchen at her own house. Call her.”

“It’s different when you’re in a different house,” I said to him, and he looked over my shoulder into the house. “We’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. I’m not going to stab her. Promise.”

Caspian’s gaze returned to me and he stepped up onto the ledge of the door. “Hm. I don’t trust you,” he said, towering over me as I recoiled an inch. “So I’ll keep a watch until she’s done.”

“That won’t be necessary,” I said, blocking him out.

Caspian moved forward and I moved back in par with him. I created an opening in the process and Caspian slid through and walked into the house. I shut the door and followed him. Atlanta wasn’t too happy to see him as he stopped on the side of the island.

“I hate you,” she snarled, at no one in particular. “Why’d you let him in?”

“I didn’t,” I said, staring at him as he put his elbows on the island surface. “He barged in without my permission.” He gave me an impassive look and I turned away. Why did I always find the need to avoid his gaze?

“Here, taste a bit of this,” Atlanta said, giving me a small slice of her sandwich. I put the whole piece into my mouth and a splash of flavours melted in my mouth. “Good, isn’t it?”

“What did you put it in?” I asked, amazed. “Your boyfriend will love you for this.” Dead silence stretched in the room. My eyes darted from Atlanta to Caspian, and I realized I shouldn’t have said that.

Before I could apologize, Atlanta interrupted. “I don’t have a boyfriend. I would like to have one.” She bit a chunk off of her sandwich. “What about you? Do you have a boyfriend? Or did you?”

I rubbed my shoulder and shrugged. “Um, I’m not that pretty so no one really asked me,” I answered. “Appearance is all that boys see, right? So I don’t believe in relationships or love.” It was a much generalized assumption, but no matter how much people denied it, appearance was a huge factor.

“Not all,” Atlanta said. “At least, in my opinion.” She nodded to Caspian. “But guys like him do choose appearance over personality. He’s a jerk, but not all guys are.”

Caspian shot Atlanta a glare. “I don’t deliberately choose hot girls. All the girls I’ve been with happened to be hot,” he said. Caspian did seem like a person who’d been through many relationships. Atlanta rolled her eyes.

I felt uncomfortable so I changed the topic. “Which movie did you want to watch later on?” I asked Atlanta.

“I don’t know. Something sci-fi,” she said with her mouth full. “Or Disney. Like Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast.” I had old DVD players of those movies, so we were good to go.

“Did you forget we’re busy this evening?” Caspian reminded Atlanta. Okay, we were not good to go. “And we're going right after you’re done that sandwich.”

“What’s your problem?” I interjected with a piqued expression. His attention turned to me and I marched towards him. “Tell me one reason why she isn’t allowed to spend time with her friend.” Atlanta stared with her eyes wide and Caspian and I shared looks of rivalry.

A wicked, half-smile appeared on his face as he straightened. “You’re creepy as hell. Is that enough of a reason?”

My mouth opened, feeling accused. “Creepy? Why would you find me creepy?”

“You keep looking at me during class like a stalker,” he said, and my eyes narrowed with loathing.

“That was you,” I proclaimed. “You and I both know you’re the freakiest creeper out of both of us. You know that, don’t try to hide the fact you look at me every day during class.”

“Why would I waste my time looking at someone who's obviously unattractive?" he countered. "Because you sure are an eyesore.” All the words left my mouth. He was lying, just like the rest of his scornful friends.

“You’re a d**k,” Atlanta cursed at him. Caspian, himself, relaxed after seeing the look on my face. I felt as if someone punched my stomach, and I took the impact without collapsing. He went too far, and even he knew that.

“You’re probably right,” I said after a moment, putting a hand to my stomach. “I was probably imagining things like every other student out there. After all, we could only dream of being noticed by the popular kids.” I glanced up at Caspian. “It all makes sense now.”

This time, he looked like he took a blow to the stomach but was solid-still that I wondered if he even cared. Atlanta turned her head back and forth between us, her sandwich in midair.

“I think this is the right time for you to apologize,” Atlanta told Caspian. He didn’t respond and she frowned. “I see. So deep inside, we’re still who we are. No humanity or anything. Same old, same old. Nice going.”

For some reason, Atlanta got upset. She was more upset than me as she retrieved her bag and stormed past us. Before she left, she told Caspian that she wasn’t coming to wherever they were supposed to go.

A hard line formed on his face. “Sensitive brat,” he murmured.

“Get out,” I told him, and surprise flashed on his face. “Get out. I don’t want someone like you in my house. Someone who’s rude to his own sister, let alone me. Thanks a lot for everything you did. Just get out.”

The surprise replaced with darkness. “Another sensitive brat,” he added, and I would’ve thrown a brick at him if I had it in my hand.

I had never been so upset or angry at someone I’d met only a few weeks ago. But in a few weeks, I’d come to know his character was ugly despite his outside appeal. There was much I still didn’t know, but this information was enough for me to kick his heinous arse.

“I’m a sensitive brat?” I said, and pointed a finger at him. “You’re a pathetic asshole. I’ve done nothing to you and you hate my existence.” I stomped towards the main door and opened it wide. “And I want you out of my house.”

I didn’t know what came over me and why I became so angry, but I couldn’t help but spill the words out. Caspian left without a word and I finally reached a sense of peace.

When had I become so unstable? Honestly.