Cassandra

Chapter Eleven

Cassandra POV 

After the maid left, I cried, again and again, covering my mouth with the pillow. I didn’t want anyone to hear me cry, I don’t want to be the girl who cries. They now know that I am a girl and if they came to know that I am crying they would pity me even more. 

Maria ones told me that how much someone hurts you you shouldn’t show that you are angry nether you should cry. When you show them that you are angry they know they have gotten power over you and when you cry they know you are weak and you could be easily eliminated. I didn’t have the idea that she might have been talking about her past life since she looked sad. 

Edward might have seen me crying this time but it would be the last time I cried in front of him or anyone else. I won’t show that I am weak, nor I will show them that I have any emotions. 

I didn’t know when the tiredness took over or when my eyes went dry and I fell asleep. 

I have been putting my hand over my tummy to stop rumbling, I am hungry again and I don’t want to go out, don’t want to see anyone or meet anyone or talk to anyone. Not even the lady from the kitchen. She is kind but I have been baggage over ahead from the day I have arrived, I don’t want to trouble her more. She might get into trouble for helping me out. 

Another rumble and I get on my feet. I must find something to eat quickly or the pain will start. 

But before that, I have to wash my face and act like everything is okay. If anyone sees my current state they would definitely mock me again. 

I quickly wash my face with the water I had in one of the pots and smoothen my hair. I yelp seeing my reflection in the mirror. Two big dark circles under and swollen eyes. I look like I am haunted. 

How can I go out like this and be in front of so many charming Princes? 

I look so hideous. 

I quickly move towards the bag I have brought but the movement made me wince. I have forgotten about the bruises. I keep one of my hand over them, trying to reduce the pain while with the other search for something, anything I could put on my face so hides the ghost look I am giving right now. 

I find a wooden chest and open it. I release a breathe I was holding seeing the thing I needed the most right now. Flour 

I take some in my hand and stand in front of the mirror again, trying not to scream this time. I put some of it under the eyes and some on my cheeks, patting it slowly. 

So maybe I wasn’t looking like a ghost earlier but I sure do now. 

Frustrated I go back to the pot and wash my face again. Another rumble with a little pain gets me on my feet immediately. 

I pick up my favorite blue robe and open the door. Peaking side to side, and putting one foot after the other without making a lot of noise, I reach the kitchen. The intoxicating aroma makes me smile and I breathe in the delicious mix of food being cooked right now. 

I know it is still time for dinner, so there won’t be a rush. I make my way towards my favorite kitchen lady and give her a hug from behind. 

“You told me you won’t startle me”, she says almost jumping again and smiling when she sees me. 

“Maybe I missed you”, I say with a pout and she gives me a knowing look 

“I think you miss the food more”, I stick my tongue out on her comment and nod 

“You should have rested in the room, I was going to come there any way in some time”, she whispers to me and I look around making sure no one is able to hear us. 

“You are not my servant, you don’t have to serve me”, I say with a smile while taking in the view of the most delicious food cooked. 

“I have to disagree with you Dear, I have been born in the family of servants, so it is what I have to do for my entire life”, there is no smile on her face anymore and I want to slap myself for making her feel so low. 

I keep both hands on the stand, jump and sit over it. She gave me a horrified look and I just shrug. 

“You feed the sons of the most strong kings, you are more than that”, this time I say this looking into her eyes. 

“Dear, don’t sit over here, it is so close to a fire, you might hurt yourself”, she is in panicky mother mode and it makes me smile again 

“I am not scared of fire, apparently I love it”, I look beside me to the flames going up higher and higher. The beautiful mix of orange and yellow and the way it dances as it moves, makes me mesmerized every time. I am controlling myself not to stretch my hand and feel the heat, the power, the adrenaline. The feel of it on my skin makes me alive, the sound the smell, fills me up with a sense of power burning inside me 

“Dear...Dear”, I hear her voice and the hypnotism breaks. 

“What were you saying?”, I look at her with a blank face 

She picks me up and puts me down like I am a five-year-old. Slowly she slides a chocolate dessert in front of me and signals me to sit down under the stand where no one could see me eating. 

I could actually feel my mouth watering. 

Yes, I was craving chocolate. 

In no time I have savored every little bit of it. I stand up and give her a kiss. 

“Grace, let’s get ready for the dinner”, someone calls for her and I bow and bid her farewell. 

I cover my head with the robe and start to move with the servants going with the food prepared for the dinner. 

I feel my arm grabber and someone pulls me aside. It takes me a minute to calm my breath from the sudden attack, but when it happens, I jerk the handoff and I am about to scream when my eyes meet the familiar green ones. 

I raise my finger in anger and put it on his nose. 

“I told you not to startle me”, my nostrils are flaring and my hand is in a tight fist. 

“I missed you…you weren’t in the grounds today”, I sigh when I realize that I missed today’s practice just because of that arrogant Edward. 

“I…I…”, I look up to find him looking at the face with so much attention that I find it hard not to go red. 

“I… didn’t wake up on time…so the teacher….I was afraid…he would yell?”, I don’t know if I am telling or asking him, but I avoid looking into his eyes as I am scared that I will tell him the truth. 

“If you want.. I could come and wake you in the morning”, he quickly suggests but I don’t find it comforting. It takes time for me to get up, take a bath and get ready and I won’t like someone waiting on me. 

“Uhh..it’s okay…I will get up early from tomorrow?”

What is happening to me why I am shuttering 

He looks disappointed and his gaze averts sideways looking at the beautiful sky above us. 

“So you said you missed me?”, I remember the first words he said after I threatened him 

“Uhhh….I meant…missed an ally in the field to practice”, I nod to understanding his concerns. I know he doesn’t like Edward and his people so maybe he thought that we could practice together. 

He tells me all that was taught today and I make a mental note of everything which I would later write in my diary. It is easy to understand when he is telling me but I am sure it must have been fun today in the fields. 

My eyes fall upon the food taken now for the other classes and I frown. It is not the same delicious food which was being prepared, it is plain rice and beans. 

“Something wrong?”, Evan asks me his gaze settled on the frown on my face which is mirroring his own right now. 

“The food…you must go before it is all finished”, I don’t know if I could tell him yet that I have access to the kitchen and that what I saw earlier was not was is being served now. I have to look into it whenever possible. 

“Come with me”, he extends his palm for me to hold and for a second I am surprised by what he is asking me to do. A smile plays on his lips with a twinkle in his green eyes. 

“My Lady”, I turn around to see Cedric coming towards us. 

I can’t let it be known to Evan what happened today and I am sure Cedric would ask me about it

“I will join you in some time, I have to talk something with Prince Cedric”, there is a sudden change in the expression of Evan where I see his face getting red and his breath coming slow but it doesn’t last long and it is again replaced with a smile on his face. 

“Okay… don’t be late”, he starts moving towards the ground where dinner is served taking slow steps, I could feel Cedric standing next to me but I don’t speak till I see Evan is out of earshot. 

“I am glad you got more friends”, I hear a sad tone in Prince Cedric’s voice and my face falls. 

“We just talk…I don’t know if I am a friend to anyone here”, I say and look down fidgeting my fingers and realizing that it is actually true. There is no one whom I could share my thoughts with or my pain. 

“Can I ask you a favor Sire?”, he smiles at me and it reaches his eyes like I have made a joke somehow. 

“You can call me Cedric, I would prefer it that way”, I shake my head, calling him Cedric will mean that I am his friend but I want to be more respectful to him. 

“Go ahead”, his kind gentle voice surprises me. He is a nice man and still, Edward troubles him. 

“Would you keep the incident which happened today a secret. I wouldn’t want anyone to know about it”, he nods in understanding and I smile back at him. 

I knew he would understand, he is wise beyond his age 

Before he could ask me how am I and look at me with pity I decide to leave with an excuse 

“I should go now …or there won’t be anything left for dinner” his face is filled with concern and I know he wants to ask me a lot of questions still he hides it and nod. 

I know it would have been easy and comforting telling him what I went through today but it would make me weak and vulnerable which I can’t be right now. I have to builds walls around me so no one could hurt me again.