The last saint (Guardians of Red moon city #5) {In Progress}

Chapter 8

My perception of pain is unique, and it may be unsettling for some to hear. For me, pain is not just a physical sensation but also an emotional experience that can be both terrifyingly intense and breathtakingly beautiful. I understand that my perspective on pain may sound strange or even disturbing to some, but it is simply how I perceive it. I don’t mean to say that pain is inherently beautiful, but rather that it can be a complex and profound experience that elicits various emotions and sensations. In my opinion, the experience of emerging from the depths of despair and letting go of all the pain that once tormented you can be an incredibly daunting task. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to confront the memories that once weighed you down and muster the strength to release their grip on your psyche.

But the feeling of liberation that comes with shedding the shackles of pain is indescribable - it’s like emerging from a dark, suffocating tunnel into a bright, open field of possibilities. As I go about my day-to-day life, I often find myself taken aback by sudden memories from my past that come rushing back to me, leaving me feeling off-kilter and disoriented. Despite my best efforts to move forward and leave the past behind, there always seems to be a part of me that clings stubbornly to those memories, refusing to let them go.

Sometimes, in my quiet moments, I find myself lost in thought, remembering the people who’ve come and gone from my life and the experiences we shared together. Even now, after so many years have passed, I still dream of those people and the moments we shared, reliving them over and over again. It’s a strange feeling to see the people you once cared for going about their lives without you, as if you never existed. They carry on without a second thought, their lives moving forward while you remain trapped in time, forever constrained by the memories of what once was.

It’s a feeling that’s difficult to put into words - a sense of longing and loss mixed with a bittersweet nostalgia for a time that can never be recaptured. Sometimes, I wonder if those people think of me, if they remember me as vividly as I remember them, or if I’m just a nameless figure in their past, a footnote in the story of their lives. Life is full of moments we cherish and hold close to our hearts. These moments are precious, and we often relive them in our minds, sharing them with the people we love. However, not all memories are pleasant. There are people who’ve hurt us in some way or another, leaving scars that are difficult to heal. Even if we choose to exclude these individuals from our lives, the memories still remain, sometimes haunting us for the rest of our lives.

As time passes, we may think that we’ve moved on from these painful memories, but sometimes, life has a way of bringing those people back into our lives. It’s natural to question whether we’ve got the strength to face them again and whether we’re able to let go of those memories or not. The events of the past have already occurred, and we can’t erase them, even if the people involved are no longer a part of our lives. Now that I’ve reconnected with these people, I find myself questioning whether I have the fortitude to leave them again. It’s a difficult choice to make, and I wonder if I have the courage to do what’s best for them. Will my inability to leave them be my downfall, or will I be able to find the strength to move on and let go of those painful memories once and for all?

As I sit lost in my deep contemplations, my thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the sound of a distant creaking door. My senses sharpen as I brace myself for what could be the inevitable - the moment when those in power decide that my existence is no longer beneficial and choose to erase me from history. The idea of being wiped out from the pages of time sends shivers down my spine. Will they do it mercifully, or will I be condemned to the purifying flames of hell? Despite the uncertainty, I find that death doesn't frighten me. After all, I've always been prepared for this eventuality. It seems only natural to be when one is forced to live life under the oppressive rule of those in The Order.

I've seen and experienced enough to understand that life isn't always fair, and those in power can do whatever they please without a second thought. But I'm determined not to go down without a fight. I'll resist until my last breath, and even if I do succumb to their atrocities, I'll do so with dignity and pride, for I know that my legacy will live on in the hearts and minds of those who dared to stand up against the tyranny and oppression which is The Order. As I sit alone in my dark, cramped cell, the sound of footsteps echoes down the corridor. With each step, the wooden doors creak open and slam shut, signaling the approach of someone. I try to convince myself I’m not scared, but my body betrays me, trembling with fear.

Every second feels like an eternity as I wait for the unknown visitor to enter my cell. And finally, the door swings open, revealing the figure of Yolanda. I lift my head slowly, my eyes meeting hers as she nods at the guard who stands at attention beside her. With a loud thud, the guard shuts the door, plunging us into darkness once again. Yolanda tells the guard to open the hatch and let in some light before she strides over to the chained, folding bed that’s been affixed to the stone wall. She sits down with an air of authority.

“How are you, Ana?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Obviously, she’s unsure of how I’ll respond, which is unusual for her as she’s usually very confident in her actions and words. The question posed to me appears to be completely incomprehensible, leaving me at a loss for words. I’m unable to come up with an honest answer to it, as I’m not even sure if I’ll make it through the night. Lately, my life has been rife with challenges and hardship, and I find myself questioning everything that has happened to me. It’s been a while since anybody has inquired about my well-being, and even though I’m struggling, I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems. The last time someone asked me how I was doing was before The Order got hold of my parents and manipulated them into doing their bidding like puppets.

I still remember that day vividly. The Order was able to deceive my parents so quickly and use them to carry out their nefarious deeds. It’s a painful memory that haunts me to this day, as I can’t help but wonder how things would have been different if my parents had never fallen under The Order’s spell.

“I’ll make it through... at least, that’s what I hope,” I reply in a hushed tone as I slowly rise to my feet.

As I continue to pace back and forth within the confines of my cramped cell, my body begins to rebel against the hours of sitting in the same position. My muscles ache, and my joints protest as I finally stretch my limbs, causing the sound of my bones and ligaments creaking to echo throughout the empty space around me. Yolanda, who has been watching me silently this whole time, visibly shifts her expression from one of concern to one of anger as her eyes land on the thick vines that encircle me, serving as a reminder of the captivity I’m in.

“You don’t deserve this,” she mutters lowly as I walk past her.

I can see the sadness and sympathy in her eyes as she looks directly into mine. It’s as if she wants to say more but is holding back, perhaps unsure what to say or how to comfort me. Her words hit me hard, stirring up a mix of emotions inside me - anger, confusion, and sadness. I can’t help but wonder what she means and whether she’s right.

“Have you ever wondered how often we get what we truly deserve?” I pondered, letting out a deep sigh. “Sometimes, it’s hard to admit, but we get exactly what we deserve - whether we like it or not. This time, I’m one of them.”

“How long will you be in this hopeless and cynical state?” she asks dejectedly, looking at me with sad eyes. “Why do you accept this?”

“I don't have control over the investigation, but I did the right thing by returning the child to their parent. My responsibility ended there, and I can take pride in knowing I did my part in helping reunite a family. What happens next is beyond my control, but I can rest easy knowing I did the right thing.”

“You cannot say something so terrible!” She declares firmly, clearly upset, and rises from her seat hastily. “It is up to you and only you to decide what happens next. If you tell the truth, they will listen to you, and you may even be acquitted of the charges.”

“I have been honest, and I have told the truth,” I state firmly, feeling my frustration build up.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Anastasia,” she states firmly while examining me closely. “You have the chance to reveal the full details of the incident, including your own involvement, and demonstrate that you pose no threat to them.”

“I refuse to put them in danger!” I declare and stand up tall. “My responsibility has always been to protect them, to be the invisible shield that keeps everyone safe and alive. I won’t let anything or anyone compromise my duty. It’s a matter of honor, and I won’t fail.”

As she takes slow steps towards the door, the sound of her footwear echoes through the room, bouncing off the walls and ceiling. She pauses for a moment and turns around to face me. Once filled with warmth, her eyes now convey a sense of disappointment. The lines on her forehead deepen, and her lips curve downwards in a frown, reflecting the emotions that grip her heart. The air inside the room is thick with silence as she lingers for a moment, her gaze fixed on me. Finally, breaking the silence, she turns away, her footsteps fading as she walks out of the door, leaving me alone in the room with a heavy heart.

“Ana, you have the power to save your own life. Why sacrifice yourself in a world that you have barely explored? Think about it - if they don’t even remember you now, how will they cope with the memories when you’re gone? You owe it to yourself to live your life to the fullest. But you’re making the wrong choices...”

A/N:

Hello, everyone!

I’m thrilled to inform you that the chapter you’ve been eagerly waiting for is finally here. I assure you that the wait was worth it, and I hope this chapter meets all your expectations.

As you read through the chapter, I’d be delighted to hear your thoughts and feedback on it. Your valuable input can help me better understand your preferences and improve any areas that might need attention. So please do not hesitate to share your opinion with me.

Lastly, I want to send you lots of love and warm wishes. I hope you enjoy reading the chapter as much as I enjoyed creating it for you.