Chapter 5 SAWYER Wednesday night I wish I could go back to a few months ago…and erase very wicked thought in my mind. Then maybe I wouldn’t be so deep in s**t. Because when news breaks here in Chicago, it sure as hell shatters. I can’t even go to my local gym anymore. Once the news of my suspension hits the streets, it starts to feel like the world is watching me, waiting me for me to fail more than an HBO writer of a good series. As I march out of my favorite fitness spot like a dishonorably discharged soldier on the way home from war, I can’t pretend not to see the sidelong stares that sweep across my face, my sweats and sweaty hair. The additional spotlight on my shoulders is brighter than ever. Ignoring the whispers, the peering, the pauses from fellow gym rats, I head for the