Dearest Chef

Chapter 3

"Jasmine?" It is impossible to hide the tone of disbelief, it comes out effortlessly given the implausibility of the matter. "How the f**k do you have my number?"

I try to keep pace with my wild breathing, which seems to have tangled in my throat. My hands tremble and I frown so much that it seems my skin will wrinkle like a sheet of paper.

I don't want to know anything about her, I thought that everything related to her shitty life had been detached from me. But no, she had to tease again just now.

I knew that it had been a huge mistake for me to get involved in that dangerous world from which it is difficult to get out, but at that moment, the challenge had seemed fun to me and I even felt invincible; emboldened by alcohol.

It had been exciting, even remembering the adrenaline in my system makes me feel alive, hardened. But it was only a mirage of what it really was: a world of darkness and addiction that I do not wish even on my worst enemy.

Then, when I could think better of it, I realized that the consequences of your mistakes followed you over time, no matter what you did to get rid of it, they always followed you over and over again without you being able to completely escape.

Right at this moment, having on the other end of the line a powerful and equally dangerous woman; who I had gotten involved with because of my stupidity, now I have to live in the shadow of what I once did, and that now weighs me down like a huge mountain.

It was not a pleasant thing to remember those mistakes, let alone know that just because of how she felt about me, I'd managed to stay out of the enemy line, something that Carlson couldn't save himself from.

"It is obvious that you are not happy to hear me," she says quietly, her eyes are surely flooded with tears. "Do you hate me so much, Pete?"

The truth is, I don't give a damn what she thinks or feels.

"What do you want?" I snap dry, determined to get her off me a good time. "Do I have to remind you of what you did, and how my life was about to be ruined?"

"I know, I know," she snorts with resignation, I press my lips to retain the expletives that threaten to come out of my mouth. "I just wanted to give you some instructions to get to the site…"

"I know about your damn rules and all of your procedure, Jaz," I hissed, annoyed. "It's not something you have to explain to me like I'm a f*****g kid"

"I missed hearing you call me that, Pete." Her emotion-laden voice rolls my eyes. My patience runs out. "So long ago…"

"Can we go back to what really matters?" I huff in a bad mood, looking around in case anyone thought to listen to the conversation. "You don't have to give me instructions on what I already know, I don't know how the hell you have my number but knowing that scum, I have no doubt that it has enough influences capable of anything" I grit my teeth in annoyance. 

"Some things have changed," she says in a tight voice. Immediately I stiffen in my place, this is not liking me at all. "He wants you to be escorted to the place when you arrive and when you leave, he even wants you to agree to go to the silver night party, as a tribute to the old days".

"Is he completely nuts?! My tone of voice has gone up several decibels, so I try to calm down at any cost. Surely I have already attracted attention. "I will not go if I have to appear over there as if I still belonged to that place, do not play with me, damn"

"Peter ..." Her voice cracks and I hear her suck through her nose. I clench my teeth in frustration. "I know you don't want to go, I already told you. But don't worry, you don't have to, I could…"

"I don't want your damn favors, do you understand?" I bother, annoyed, trying to control my bad mood. "Do I have to remind you that thanks to those "favors", you almost made me get killed?" 

"You know I didn't want that, Peter," she sighs long, his voice low. I roll my eyes and snort. "You know I love you, I would do anything because you're sure…"

"Love me?" I ironic, letting out a dry laugh. "You have no f*****g idea what that means"

Do you do that with the person you supposedly want? Do you involve him over and over again in a world of s**t; of corruption, addictions, weapons and death? No, she definitely didn't know what it was really wanting. 

If that's love, then I don't want to have anything to do with it.

I had come out of all that in part to Miles's indulgence towards me by Jasmine's intervention, but the rest of the credit was due to myself and to everything I had paid so that I would not be involved with them again, so that my history would be erased as if it had never existed.

"Then why the hell are you asking me to come with you, knowing that I hate to approach wherever you and all of your dirty ilk are?" I breathe heavily and my hands shake as they can. I am fed up with all this.

On the other end of the line, only the silence is heard and I am nowhere to hang when I hear it again.

"I'll talk to Miles, you don't have to come to the party." Her voice sounds firm, although I know her and I know she is controlling her desire to cry. "I'm just asking you to come on the thirteenth day to the address I'll send you, Pete. I promise I won't bother you again"

"That's what you said last time," I snap in a bad mood, spitting out the words. "I do not like games and much less this cat and mouse. I was outside, why don't you just leave me alone for a f*****g time?"

After that outburst, I hang up the cell phone and rubbed my hair in frustration, telling myself that I had to do whatever it took to get out of all that damn s**t. I look around and nobody seems to have noticed my absence or the hellish moment I had to go through.

Before long, my cell phone rings and a message appears that I know is hers, with a printed address of the meeting place and I know well where it is, although I wish I didn't know: Canada.

I get an attachment and I immediately clench my teeth in frustration, My stomach churns, causing the image in front of me: a photo where Jazmín and I left, quite a long time ago.

"Damn, what are you playing at?" I snap between my teeth.

I quickly go down the stairs and look for some of the Beresfords to say goodbye, since the call had completely upset me and exacerbated my nerves; to the point of not putting up with some bland talk or a fake smile with good manners.

But I can't find anyone around me, so I just go, sending everyone to hell right then. 

***

November

I look at the sky with suspicion, calculating that the light of day would be ready to die out; bringing the night and therefore more lurking danger. Especially because of the place where I am.

The cold breeze makes my hair shake and I shiver when it hits my bones. I adjust my coat and look both ways down the street, noticing that the lantern lights begin to light up. 

It is noticeable that we are in autumn and the low temperatures are evident, announcing the soon arrival of winter. Sleet is a death trap for the careless, so I am grateful that I brought my winter boots with me.

I hate this weather, it is not the same as the California cold and I was used to that long ago.

A car is speeding by and I roll my eyes because it loses control and skids dangerously toward one of the stops, although luckily there is no one around at this time of day.

Except for the pair of dark silhouettes, they seem to suddenly emerge from an alley. I let out a sigh telling myself that it would all be over soon and I won't have to go back to this place again.

I purse my lips when I catch sight of her, her eyes seem to sparkle and only through enormous effort -in addition to her companion's threatening gestures-, does she refrain from throwing herself into my arms. 

Although the huge smile on his face is proof of his good mood.

I clench my fists at my sides and my mind invades all the memories I've tried to forget. Right now, I couldn't be more frustrated with myself.

I stop a few meters from his position, making sure I am as far away as possible in case something does happen. I feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins and my heart beating fast at this meeting, even though it seems the most normal thing in the world.

"You shouldn't have made me come," I blurt out, crossing my arms. "I had to lie to my brother again and you know how much I hate do that"

"I needed you, Peter," she murmurs quietly, looking into my eyes in the way that usually enchants the senses of others, but that has never had that effect on me. "You know you are…"

"Get to the point, Jasmine," I cut short, earning me a furious glance from the big man. "You have five minutes to clear things up, or I will quickly leave here and you will never see me again. You know I'm not lying, damn"

"Always on the defensive, honey," he smiles a smile that doesn't infect me in the least. "But you should know that it was not my idea about the threat, he always wants to do what he wants…"

"And you play his game like a f*****g puppet," I blurt out, unable to contain myself. The man across the street snorts and stares at him, menacingly. "I don't care what I want, I already paid what I owed and his threats only put him in a worse position"

"You will do as you are told," the big man roars in a harsh voice. "You know Miles doesn't like to be opposed"

"Did you hear something?" I shake my chin, pretending to look everywhere. The man clenches his fists, annoyed. "It seems that an annoying fly is buzzing around here"

The guy growls annoyed, especially for the smile that I dare to sketch.

"The matter is simple, Peter," she sighs, looking at me now pleadingly. I immediately look at her suspiciously. "He only wants the information of the landing at the port of Santa Catarina. If you do that …"

"If not?" I look at her defiantly, determined not to do more than that guy told me. "Will they tell my brother? Will they publish it in the newspapers? Do what you please, but they leave me alone!"

"Don't strain my patience, you bloody arrogant!" The big man roars in a threatening tone, but I do not move an iota of my site. I do not intend to be intimidated by him or by anyone.

"Then I suggest you remind Miles that I've already left the business," I shrug nonchalantly, pretending the man hadn't spoken. "I will not do anything they ask me and I do not plan to fall for their threats, I am tired of this"

"Hey you...!" The guy steps forward in my direction, but is immediately stopped by his companion.

"Let me handle this matter, Roger." Jasmine's small hand curls around the man's arm, who keeps looking at me as if he wants to burn me alive. I smile sarcastically. "You know your instructions are different, don't get into this"

"Oh yes, Roger," he said in a high-pitched, ironic voice. "Better do what they tell you, or your boss is sure upset and doesn't give you dessert at dinner!"

I smile mockingly because the subject seems to be sparking at my comment, but I don't flinch from my place when his hand goes to the waistband of his pants. As I said before: I am not going to be scared.

"You should be careful, Peter." The serious tone of this Roger makes me uneasy in the pit of my stomach, but I still look at him defiantly. "You don't want something bad to happen to some of your loved ones. Accidents do happen, you know?"

"Stop it, Roger!" Jasmine's voice is annoyed, the guy immediately lowers his head like a damn cowardly and servile rat. "I told you that I would handle this myself, stop threatening things that you know you will not be able to fulfill"

"Sorry, Miss Clark," the man mutters, stepping back without looking at me again. 

On the one hand I feel somewhat satisfied although I do not show it, but on the other it bothers me enormously that it is only left alone by Jasmine's orders. 

I look at her carefully and she bites her lips, she seems to want to say something else and I frown when imagining what it is about.

"Don't think I want to hurt you," she speaks anxiously, moving her leg quickly in a nervous gesture. "It is actually an important shipment and you know not only the procedure, but the hiring manager".

"And what the hell do I get from this, Jasmine?" I squint, wanting to get to the heart of the matter. "Why do you want me precisely?"

She is nervous again and I look at the clock impatiently, telling me that the five minutes were long gone. She takes a step forward in my position, the same as I step back to get away from his closeness.

"What the f**k are you doing?" She used a sullen tone, making a grimace of pain on his features. "I don't want you to come near me".

"Carl told you what I actually have?" Her voice breaks and her eyes crystallize with tears. I frown, remembering that I myself had asked my colleague not to tell me about it. "I told you I don't have much time left and it's true" take a breath. "I'm dying, Peter".

I let go of all the air at once, taking a step back. I look at her incredulously, searching her pleading features for any indication of lies or deception, it would not be the first time she wants to manipulate me.

"No, it's not true," I shake my head again and again. Is he serious? "If what you want is to get my pity …" 

"It's not that, damn it!" Her eyes quickly fill with tears and she imperiously approaches me. "Besides you're the best at this job …" She bites her lips again "I just wanted to see you at least one more time, Pete"

"Don't screw with me!" I take her by the shoulders, feeling her shiver at my touch. "Do you really think you will get anything out of all this? Not after what you did, damn it!"

"I didn't want him to hurt you, Peter!" She clings to my arms and the distance shortens between us. I grit my teeth in frustration, determined not to let myself be manipulated again. "You know how I feel about you, how much I need you"

"I already told you, Jasmine," I speak dryly, releasing her from my grasp although she is still clinging to me, "you have no idea what you're talking about, people like you don't know what love is."

"I do know," she insists stubbornly, kicking the floor impatiently. "I love you, Peter" She says in a soft and sweet voice, but her words don't make a dent in me, it taste like nothing to me.

"And you know I don't love you, I never have," I spit like acid and watch her gasp incredulously, sobbing softly. Her shoulders shake and she steps back, hurt. "Did you want to hear that? Is that why you sent me to call?"

There is a long silence in which I see her cry out loud, surely broken by my words. I look inside me and I want to feel bad for causing this in her, but the truth is I don't even feel compassion; I feel absolutely nothing.

And how could I feel it for someone like her? No, impossible.

"I know, I know you don't," she mutters in a broken voice, wiping his cheeks quickly. I stand, waiting for what I have to say now. "I really regret all this, I just wanted ..."

I keep my fists at my sides, my teeth are clenched and my brow is furrowed. I feel the poisoned look of this Roger on me but I do not care, he is less than a cockroach to me.

"You don't have to do the job," she sighs with resignation, a little calmer. "I will talk to Miles and he will surely understand …"

"I will, but only on one condition," I interrupt, still clenching my teeth. I feel an emptiness in my stomach, but I am more than determined. She looks at me closely. "Don't call me anymore and all this is definitely in the past, Jasmine. I really don't want to have anything more to do with this s**t or you"

"Okay, that's the way it will be." I look at her with pursed lips, because I don't know if I fully believe her. "I give you my word that I will not bother you again ... or ask about you" she looks down, sniffing again. "Can you promise me something in return, Peter?" 

I cross my arms, frowning. And now what the hell do you want to ask me for? I look at her suspiciously, as her expression begins to soften again.

"If you find a girl who catches your attention ..." my frown deepens, "don't be so closed and give yourself a chance to be happy, to know love." 

What the hell?

"But why...?"

"Promise me, please," he whispers quietly, looking pleadingly at me. "Please, Peter."

Why the f**k is he asking me for something as absurd as that? Has Jasmine gone crazy? I stare at her, but there is no trace of doubt in her features.

Me, to feel something as absurd as that kitsch of love? Ha, what a good joke. 

That hadn't even crossed my mind, I don't even have time for that nonsense of romance and all that that implies.

Frankly it makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

"Promise me," she speaks again, looking pleadingly at me and holding on to my shirt with momentum.

"Okay, okay, okay," I huff angrily, telling him what I wanted to hear just so he would leave me alone. "I promise."

She smiles a little and this time begins to give me the necessary indications for the landing. I let out a sigh and spend a lot of time listening to get the job done right, I was hoping it would be the last one I had to run.

***

The neon lights clearly show what appears to be a good-looking nightclub, located in a rather upscale urban area. 

Beside me, Steven does not stop chattering annoyingly, but I manage to resign myself because I had accepted his invitation to walk through those parts to "have fun" for a while, although the truth had been accepted for a completely different reason.

I had just finished the shipment and despite the adrenaline I had experienced before and that everything had gone as expected, I could not get rid of the bitter taste in the mouth of my stomach. 

I needed something to calm my nerves and forget that experience.

I questioned the fact of having accepted and on the one hand I hoped that Jasmine this time would fulfill her promise, to do that simply to get rid of her.

Perhaps also to experience what it felt like to do that improperly and for the pity that actually inspires me because of her illness, even if I did not know what she had or if it was true that she was dying.

I snort frustrated because I shouldn't feel that way, because I should forget all that dark world and put my lies aside, which only managed to harm me and my brother Evan.

If he found out, he would surely scream in the sky. 

We entered the crowded place with other of his friends attached to our heels, who frankly made me nervous, but there was nothing I could do. 

They were so talkative, so misbehaving and maddening, that I soon left his group and went to the bar to order a drink to get the bad mood and discomfort out of me.

As soon as I order a dry whiskey, I look around the place to admire the splendor in general and perhaps find something interesting to see, something that will get rid of my unbearable dog humor.

A group of large numbers attracts my attention, not because of the size of the members but because of the dark-haired girl who laughs out loud and her laughter causes a kind of fascination in me for how contagious it is.

At that moment he turns to see a point of the place and raised his eyebrows perplexed to see his eyes, since these are even more shocking: a beautiful blue-gray color that catches the eye of anyone who sees it, and with good reason.

She is dressed in a sexy way; Wearing a red top, a tiny black skirt, and a black striped tweed jacket that enhance her gorgeous pale skin and the amazing color of her sparkling eyes. 

I smile automatically and am about to get up from my seat to get closer to where he is, when the tedious Steven takes my arm, giving an annoying laugh. 

"Can you believe who's around here, dear Peter?" His voice rises above the bustle, although I can barely understand what he says. "My friend Kendall with his friends and his beautiful cousin!"

"I don't have time for them, Steven." I let go of his grasp and directed my gaze back to where the girl from before was. "I have better things to do."

"Oh come on, Pete!" He takes my arm again, extending his in the direction where my gaze is on. "They are at that table, let's go say hi!"

I raise an eyebrow when I realize that he points out exactly where the girl is and how one of the boys approaches her and says something to her ear; to which she lets out a totally animated laugh.

It seemed that Steven's friend, this Kendall, was in that group of boys and among them the girl with beautiful eyes that had long caught my attention.

Destination or coincidence?