A Beast's Tale

Chapter 36

“Good morning, Prince Chevalier,” Ivetta said the next morning. Her voice was a bit off, a bit flat.

“How much longer do I have to keep doing this?” I grumbled, sitting up in bed.

“Yes, your highness,” she said absentmindedly, going to the bureau for my clothes.

I was immediately wide awake. Something was wrong. Her voice was wrong, she wasn’t listening, she wasn’t talking. Her silky black hair hung in a tangled mess down her back, not its usual neat ponytail. The uniform she wore was wrinkled, as if she slept in it. She turned around to set my clothes on the bench, not looking at me, and when she pulled her hands back, they were shaking. She froze, staring at her trembling hands. I’d seen pain in her green eyes before, but never like this.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, quickly climbing out of bed and coming to her side.

She turned toward me, but her eyes didn’t seem to be able to focus on me. “Excuse me, your highness,” she stammered, and then she bolted for the door.

I caught her by the shoulders. “Ivetta, look at me.”

She shook her head, and the tears came. Her entire body was racked by sobbing; her knees went out from under her. I pulled her toward me, easing us down to the floor as she buried her face in my chest, clutching desperately at my shirt. The force of her crying was so great, it seemed her small frame would completely fall apart if I didn’t hold her together. But that was all that I could do for her. There was nothing I could say, nothing I could do, except hold her. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, holding her close as a torrent of emotions poured out of her. This was agony. I didn’t have to ask, and she couldn’t have answered, anyway. Her mother had died in the evening, before she’d even changed out of her uniform. And, as she usually did, she’d tried to hide it, tried to push it down and act as if nothing was wrong. But she couldn’t do it this time.

She cried for a long time, but eventually, she ran out of tears. I held her close with one arm, gently brushing the tangles out of her long black hair with my other hand. She was still trembling, her breathing still choked. This was a pain that I couldn’t take away, couldn’t protect her from feeling. But I could feel her weakness, her fingers loosening from my shirt and falling away. Her breathing became more even, though the trembling continued. And she finally pulled away, wiping her red face with her apron, not looking at me.

“I’m sorry, Prince Chevalier,” she said in a soft, trembling voice.

She looked so small, so fragile, sitting there. I stood and scooped her into my arms, carrying her to the bed. She was far too light. When she woke up, I’d have to make sure she started eating properly.

“Prince Chevalier?” she asked, confused, but she was too exhausted to even move as I gently lay her on the sheets.

“Get some sleep, little dove,” I said softly, removing her shoes and pulling the blankets up over her. She looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes, so full of pain, and I lightly touched her eyelids. They closed obediently, and her breathing almost immediately slowed. I stared down at her, the angst leaving her face as she drifted away.

How long had it been since she’d last had a good night’s sleep?

I took a deep breath and tore my gaze away from her. The funeral needed to be arranged, the doctor paid, a place in the servants’ quarters secured. She wouldn’t want my help, but she was in no position to refuse it now. I readied myself in the bathroom and checked on her one last time before I left. Sound asleep, her face finally relaxed. I bent down and kissed her forehead, and then I left, locking the door behind me.

All but Jin, Nokto, and Silvio were gathered for breakfast when I walked in the door, but there was only one prince I wanted to see.

“Black,” I said sharply. His amber eyes met mine, and I turned on my heel and left. He was quick to follow me.

“Something up, Chevalier?” he asked, falling in step beside me as I began to walk. I said nothing until we were inside my office with the door closed behind us.

“Ivetta’s mother died,” I said, turning to face him.

He sucked in a deep breath. “How’s she taking it?”

“Not well.”

“Where is she?”

“My room. She cried herself to sleep.”

He grimaced. “That bad, huh?”

“I’ve locked the door, but keep an eye out. You’re in charge here. I have other business to attend to.”

He nodded and clapped me on the shoulder. “Got it. Don’t worry about a thing, just do what you gotta do.”

I let out a deep sigh, and then I left for the kitchens. The controlled, noisy chaos came to a sudden stop when I appeared. I skimmed the crowd of startled faces and picked out the head maid.

“You, come here,” I commanded, making direct eye contact.

She followed me out into the hall, trembling. “Y-y-yes, P-p-prince Chevalier?” she stammered.

“Ivetta will be moving into the servants’ quarters tonight. You will see to it that there is a place for her.”

She nodded, although it was hard to identify the motion with her generalized shaking. “Y-y-yes, y-y-your highness, r-r-right away.”

I turned and left without another word, heading for the front gate. The carriage ride down through town to the village gave me a few minutes to stop and breathe, and it was only then that I realized I had called her by her name. I sat back, running through it all again in my mind. It had just slipped out in my effort to draw her attention back to me, without me even thinking about it.

There was no going back now.

I had known for a long time that the moment I called her by name was the moment I gave in to the emotions I’d been struggling to keep in check. And I didn’t want to fight them anymore. As soon as she was more stable, whether the gala was over or not, I’d have to tell her the truth. What happened next would be in her hands, but I couldn’t hide it anymore. I loved her.

The funeral was arranged, the casket and headstone ordered to my specifications, the doctor’s bill paid, and I had one last stop before I returned to the palace. Not her house - it felt too personal, going there without her. I had invaded enough of her privacy today already. She could show me that when she woke up. My last stop was a dress shop. I ordered two dresses. One, a window display, identical to the dress Belle usually wore. The second, of the same design, but with a green skirt instead of red. That one wouldn’t be ready in time to give her today, of course, but I would have it delivered to the palace and give it to her at a later date.

It was lunchtime when I returned to the palace. I stopped by my room to check. She was still asleep. I left the dress on my desk and locked the door again, heading down to the round table room for my first meal of the day.

“Welcome back, Chev,” Clavis greeted me. He was grinning, as always, but his golden eyes were searching.

I said nothing and took my seat. The only reason I wasn’t dining in my room was because of her.

“Something bothering you?” Gilbert asked. He, too, wore his usual smile.

“No,” I said flatly.

“Hey, Chevalier, I’ve got a bone to pick with you,” Silvio said, his blue eyes irritated. “That little maid of yours said she’d bring me that hangover remedy this morning, but she never showed.”

“Maybe she decided she’d rather see you suffer,” Jin chuckled. “You were getting on her nerves last night.”

“Last night? What happened last night?” Luke asked.

“I took Silvio down to the Rose and the Thorn for a good time, and we picked up Ivetta before we left,” Jin explained, and then he grinned sheepishly. “That came out wrong.”

“Especially since she turned you down cold,” Silvio commented.

Yves sighed loudly in exasperation. “Can’t you ease up on her just once?”

Jin shrugged. “I thought I’d be nice and offer her a ride.”

“And then you hit on her,” Luke said, frowning.

“Like you wouldn’t,” Jin countered, grinning.

“Well, it wasn’t just the tea. She hasn’t been to my room at all today,” Silvio complained.

“Or mine,” Keith added.

“Nobody’s seen her since she arrived first thing this morning. It’s a bit strange, don’t you think?” Gilbert’s smile didn’t change, but his blood red eye gleamed suspiciously as he looked at me.

Leon’s amber eyes met mine briefly, and then he spoke up. “Her mother died. Chevalier sent her home early.”

The silence around the table was deafening, broken only by my silverware as I continued to eat. I didn’t want to stay any longer than necessary.

“Bet you all feel like jerks now,” Licht finally said quietly.

“Poor kid,” Jin commented with genuine sympathy in his voice.

I finished eating and scooted my chair backwards, standing up to go.

“Leaving so soon?” Gilbert asked.

“Obviously,” I replied shortly, exiting the room without another word.

She hadn’t even moved since I’d put her to bed. The redness and puffiness from crying had faded, and her beautiful face looked so calm, so peaceful. I grabbed a book and sat down on the bench to read. She would probably be confused when she woke up, and I wanted to be here to calm her down when that happened.

No, that wasn’t right. I just didn’t want to leave her.

She slept all afternoon, and I reluctantly left for a quick dinner. As at lunch, I said little to nothing, ignoring all questions and remarks directed at me. Leon followed me when I left the table.

“How’s she doing?” he asked quietly, falling in step beside me.

“Still asleep,” I replied.

“Still? I knew she was tired, but I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

“She’s lost weight, too.”

Leon was silent for a while, and then he said, “So, how are you doing?”

How was I doing? I was in agony, seeing her in this much pain, knowing how much she’d been hiding, feeling that I hadn’t done enough, hadn’t paid close enough attention. But there was a strange sense of relief, too, that I could take better care of her now. And I’d called her by her name. Those three syllables had given me release. I wanted to say them again and again, as soon as she was able to hear them.

“It’s difficult to say,” I finally said.

I read in my room for a while longer, but she showed no signs of waking, and I finally put the book away and got ready for bed. She wouldn’t like this, I thought, smirking as I crawled under the blankets. But the bed was large enough to allow plenty of room between us, and I certainly had no intention of harming her. I looked over at her sleeping face. If the situation were different, this would be a dangerous temptation, but not now. I sat up and leaned over to place a light kiss on her forehead.

“Goodnight, Ivetta.”

She didn’t move, and I returned to my side of the bed and fell asleep.

Her panicked voice woke me up later in the night.

“I’ve already told you no. Let me go!”

I sat up, immediately ready to fight off her attacker, but we were alone. Her eyes were still closed as she lay next to me. She was asleep, and judging by her tossing and turning, she was having a nightmare.

“Get off of me!”

This was the assault, I realized, staring at her in shock. She was reliving it. I watched in horror as her hands moved under the blankets to pull her skirt down. He’d gotten that close to raping her? It had been surprising enough to think that she’d fought him off, but he’d had her in bed, pinned underneath him. I felt bile rising in the back of my throat. How had she gotten away?

“I’m a maid at the palace, and that’s all. I’ve told you before, I’m not a prostitute!”

She’d broken out into a cold sweat and she was breathing hard, and then she cried out, her hands clutching at the front of her dress. I had to stop this. My hand reached out for her, but I pulled it back, reconsidering. A touch may scare her more.

“Ivetta,” I called.

She shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Mother needs me,” she whimpered softly. “How am I going to hide this?”

“Ivetta,” I called again, louder.

“He’ll know,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I don’t want him to know…”

“Ivetta!” This time I shook her shoulder gently, and her green eyes opened wide, staring up at me in shock. I realized my mistake and lay down beside her, hoping to appear less threatening. “You’re safe, Ivetta. It’s over.”

“Prince Chevalier?” she whispered.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m here. You’re safe.”

She stared at me a moment longer, her hands gradually loosening from her dress, and then she reached out and clutched at my shirt. I lay still, unsure what to do, afraid of frightening her more. Her eyes filled with relief, and she pulled herself toward me, burying her face in my chest. I tentatively wrapped my arms around her, startled by her reaction.

“I can’t say it,” she whispered. “Please don’t ask me to say it.”

My breath caught in my throat. She was still asleep, and now she was trapped in that horrible morning after the assassination attempt. The morning when I had pinned her in bed underneath me, just like Jack. I hadn’t thought it was possible for me to feel worse about that, but knowing what she’d been through…

“That’s not who you are,” she whispered, interrupting my thoughts and pulling herself closer against me.

“I’m sorry, Ivetta,” I whispered, nuzzling my cheek into her hair as I tightened my arms around her.

She didn’t say anything more. Her breathing slowed, her fingers loosened their grip from my shirt. I lay awake for a long time, listening to her breathing, holding her close to me. This was why she hadn’t been sleeping. And I was part of the nightmare. Part of the nightmare, and part of the solution. The relief in her eyes when she recognized me, the tiny ounce of hope in her voice when she whispered my name, the way she threw herself into my arms. I had betrayed her, broken her trust, and yet she still felt safe with me.

I finally fell asleep, and the next time I woke up was when I felt her moving away.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I mumbled, automatically pulling her closer.

“Prince Chevalier, I shouldn’t be here,” she stammered.

“You shouldn’t have come at all,” I said, opening my eyes to look at her. Her green eyes were wide with confusion. She didn’t remember any of last night, did she?

“I-I wasn’t thinking, your highness,” she replied.

“You were too tired to think.” I reached out to brush some loose hairs back behind her ear, my bare fingers gently grazing her soft cheek. “Good morning, Ivetta.”

She stared at me, stunned. She wasn’t ready for this, ready for my affection. I reluctantly released her, rolling onto my back and stretching.

“Take a bath. I’ll have breakfast and clothes sent up,” I said, making my voice as cool and authoritative as usual. Normalcy and routine had helped her after the assault; I assumed it would do the same now.

She sat up, still speechless. I got up and went to the bureau, and she darted into the bathroom. My eyes landed on the dress on the desk, but the bathroom door was already closed. I’d have to slip it in to her, carefully, so as not to upset her. But first, breakfast. I finished dressing and headed down to the kitchens, putting in a single large order for delivery to my room in a half hour. That would give her time to bathe, and me time to eat a quick breakfast for myself. I should update Leon, too.

“Late again, Chev,” Clavis commented as I entered the round table room. It was a quarter to ten o’clock. Ivetta had slept in.

“Will we be seeing anything of you today?” Gilbert asked. “Or will you be off on your own private affairs again?”

“We’ll see,” I replied coolly.

“Any word about Ivetta?” Jin asked.

“I told her to take as much time as she needed.”

“She’s probably taking it hard,” Yves said. “She’s pretty much been living for her mother for a while now, hasn’t she?”

“Yeah, she has,” Clavis confirmed. “She’s too young to have dealt with everything she’s gone through.”

“How old is she?” Keith asked.

“Eighteen,” Licht volunteered.

Keith and Silvio looked surprised. Gilbert did not.

“Jin mentioned she’d been through some stuff,” Silvio said. “You wouldn’t guess it from looking at her.”

“Or talking to her, most of the time,” Luke added. “She’s really good at hiding things.”

Leon was silent, his amber eyes watching me, and when I stood to go after I finished eating, he followed me into the hallway.

“So?” he asked quietly.

“She just woke up. I’m taking her down to her house to get her things, and then I’ll be back.”

“Chevalier, I hate to say it, but it’s getting pretty obvious.”

I nodded. “I’ll talk to Sariel when I get back.”

He grinned. “That serious, huh?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation.

The bathroom door was still closed when I arrived, and the breakfast hadn’t been delivered yet. I picked up the dress from the desk and knocked lightly at the door. No response, but it sounded like she was in the tub. Maybe she was underwater. I carefully turned the doorknob and opened the door, just wide enough to reach my hand in and drop the dress on the floor, and then I closed the door again.

The bedroom was bright with sunlight from the two unshaded windows, but the heavy drapes still covered the largest window next to my bed. I tied the drapes back just as the knock from the hallway signified the arrival of Ivetta’s breakfast. The maid at the door was a very nervous blonde, afraid to meet my eyes.

“On the desk,” I directed her. She scurried to comply. “Tell the head maid that I want to see her in my office.”

“Y-y-yes, y-y-your highness,” she said, exiting the room as quickly as possible.

It was really no wonder Ivetta caught my attention. She was the only maid to ever look me in the eye, let alone hold a conversation with me.

But not this morning. I was sitting on the bench, waiting, and she couldn’t meet my eyes when she emerged. The dress looked better than I had imagined, especially with her long, black hair swept off to one side, hiding one ear and falling loosely over her shoulder. It would look even better if she smiled, of course. I stood up and pulled the desk chair out for her.

“Sit,” I said.

She reluctantly obeyed, her green eyes surveying the breakfast spread across the desk. There was easily enough food for both of us, but with the amount of weight she’d lost, I didn’t want her to feel that she had to limit herself.

“I’ve already eaten,” I said, anticipating her question.

“This is too much for me, your highness,” she said softly.

“You need to eat.”

She bit her lip, tentatively picking up a fork. My presence was making her nervous. I’d intended on making the head maid wait for a while, just to give her time to sit and worry, but I may as well talk to her now.

“I’ll be back soon.”

I glanced back at Ivetta as I left, sitting there, bewildered. She was physically rested, but still exhausted, emotionally and mentally. It was going to take some time for her to recover from this.