The Teacher's Crush

My fear of rejection

At that moment, I felt like a lady in her swimming trunks at the bar beach, walking across a group of single men who were staring at me. I became self-conscious and nervous, and for a few seconds after Blair had sat down, all thoughts of teaching left my brain. I didn't want to appear incompetent in front of the class, so I redirected the question to the 38 students present.

"What do you know about Data Analysis?" I asked, trying to regain control.

I noticed Blair looking at me intently, his eyes following my every move. A few seconds later, I almost stumbled on the plain floor, and some students in the front row quickly apologized, saying,

"Sorry, ma'am."

Suddenly, I seemed to have lost the ability to walk smoothly in my high heels. His presence had such a strong effect on me that I retreated to my seat to avoid any further embarrassment.

"Bring out a sheet of paper and write down what you know about Data Analysis," I instructed the students.

As they began writing, I discreetly glanced over to see what Blair was doing. I was thrilled to notice that he was left-handed. I started contemplating my next move. I couldn't stop thinking about him. His touch had the power to erase the lingering affection James had left on me, and thoughts of James only brought me pain.

I was ready to secretly defy the school's ethics for the sake of Blair. It was better to focus on Blair from now on rather than dwell on James. But what if he didn't feel the same way? What if he thought I was older than him? What if he already had someone in his life? A handsome young man like him surely wouldn't be single. What if he outright rejected me? That would depend on my approach. I needed to devise a plan to bring us closer, starting from today. But how? The possibilities were swirling in my head, causing a loud bang of uncertainty.

"*********

Blair POV

Dr. Tasha is undoubtedly one of the most captivating women I have laid eyes on since returning to my hometown. She exuded such tranquility during the yoga class. Hmm... individuals of true excellence don't feel the need to fill the air with idle chatter. They speak only when necessary. Unlike the other women who shamelessly flirted with me, she remained silent throughout the entire practice. Little did I know that she was an exceptional lecturer at a prestigious university. I'm grateful I didn't succumb to the advances of those women in the yoga class. It would have tarnished my reputation. The way her hair cascades so gracefully, the curve of her lips as she spoke just moments ago. I can still see the flicker of excitement in her eyes when I stood up to introduce myself. I felt a nervous flutter within me when she first entered the class. What would it be like to hold her delicate hand, drawing her closer for a tender kiss? Hold on a moment, she is older than me and probably married. The last time I tried to steal a glance at her, she caught me in the act.

I lowered my gaze and pretended to scan the entire class, trying to conceal my fascination. After a subtle examination of her fingers, I noticed the absence of a ring. Why would an exquisite woman like her not have a ring adorning her finger? I wish I could seize this opportunity to get closer to her. I've never had much luck with women in the past. I hope no student noticed the way I gazed at her. I'm well aware that harboring such feelings for my lecturer is highly inappropriate. Yet, I find myself unable to avert my eyes from her stunning countenance. Deep down, I know I can never disclose my emotions to her. Where would I even begin?

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Author's pov

Tasha meticulously collected all the sheets of paper from her students, moving from one seat to another until she reached Blair's spot.

"His writing was akin to the heavenly script," she thought as she retrieved his paper. Once she had gathered all the papers, she positioned herself at the front of the class and announced,

"I will review your answers. Your performance will be a testament to your understanding of data analysis. Our next class is scheduled for Friday."

Just as Tasha was about to depart, she paused by the doorway and added,

"Blair, kindly visit my office after your classes. There is a form that requires your attention."

Upon reaching her office, Tasha placed the sheets and file in her hands on the desk and began pacing back and forth. Suddenly, she halted abruptly, tapping her fingertips lightly on the desk's surface.

"How can I draw Blair closer to me without appearing awkward? I couldn't tear my gaze away from his mesmerizing eyes and broad chest. I even caught myself mentally undressing him, envisioning his chiseled abs. It's unbelievable—I find myself unable to express what I know when he's in my presence. My teaching has always been impeccable until his captivating gaze fell upon me, causing me to stumble on a plain floor."

Four hours later, a knock echoed through Tasha's office door. She instinctively knew it was Blair. Her heart fluttered with anticipation as she swiftly retrieved a small mirror from her bag, stealing a quick glance at her reflection. She pressed her lips together, aiming to enhance her allure.

"Please, come inside," she beckoned, her voice laced with a hint of excitement.

Blair grasped the sleek silver door handle and gently pulled the door open.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," he greeted, still standing at the threshold. However, before he could enter, Tasha quickly said,

"Please, come inside and take a seat."

Their eyes locked, and a shared smile passed between them as Blair settled into his chair.

"Ma'am, I'm here for the form you asked me to retrieve," he mentioned.

"I know this may seem unusual, but when we're alone, could you address me as Tasha?" Tasha requested with a hint of vulnerability.

Blair raised an eyebrow, searching for the right words.

"Hmm…. Okay," he acquiesced and nodded.

"Oh, about the form—I checked my office, but it appears I left it at home." Tasha paused, noticing Blair's gaze briefly grazing her cleavage. Seizing the opportunity, she stood up and bent down to retrieve a file from her desk, providing him with an unintentional glimpse. With a subtle sway of her movement, she returned to her seat, quietly satisfied with the outcome.

"Actually, I just remembered that I have a favor to ask of you," Tasha continued, redirecting the conversation.

"What is it, ma'am?" Blair inquired.

Tasha rolled her eyes, and Blair comprehended her unspoken message.

"I am Dr. Tasha, but I'd prefer if you called me Tasha. We've actually met before at the yoga class. This isn't our first encounter. In my mind, you are my most exceptional instructor." Tasha beamed at him for a while and added,

"Am I not speaking the truth? Feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken. Each of us possesses expertise in different aspects of life," Tasha asserted.

"Yes, but you are an extraordinary woman. Your brief introduction to data analysis showcased the depth of your knowledge," Blair praised.

"Really?" Tasha blushed, genuinely touched by his words.

"Yes!" he affirmed.

"Thank you so much for such a genuine compliment. By the way, my car has encountered mechanical issues. If you don't mind, could you give me a ride home?" Tasha shrugged, her gaze fixed on his eyes.

"Okay, I can do that," Blair agreed.

"Great. Take my card and give me a call when you're ready to leave. I just need to wrap up a few things, and I'll be awaiting your call. If it's alright, wait for me at the third gate," Tasha requested.

"Sure thing, Tasha!" Blair replied.

"Better. You've got it right this time," Tasha remarked, and they both shared a lighthearted chuckle as Blair departed her office.

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Tasha's POV

A fiery sensation coursed through my entire being as Blair sat before me, exuding a captivating aura that enveloped my office. I yearned for him to appreciate the allure of my cleavage. Deep down, I understood the ethical boundaries I was transgressing, but how could I expect my emotions to be comprehended? That's why I instructed him to wait for me at the third gate, ensuring none of my students would witness our departure in his car.

Several minutes later, my phone chimed, breaking the silence.

"Hello!" I answered, lowering my voice, as an unfamiliar number flashed on the screen.

"Hi, Tasha. I'm already at the third gate," he informed me.

"Oh, thank you ever so much. I'll join you shortly," I responded, excitement tingling through me.

After hanging up, my palms grew damp with perspiration. The thrill of being driven home by my crush was exhilarating. Leaving my office behind, I eventually entered his car. It was a Toyota, not too shabby. Inside, I felt transported to a different realm. We didn't exchange many words, except when he suggested I sit in the backseat. However, I politely declined and chose to occupy the front seat next to him. Blair was a true gentleman. My heart fluttered when he swiftly stepped out of the car to open the door for me. It felt as if we were on a date. Reluctant to bid him farewell, I lingered until he parked in front of my house. It wasn't appropriate to entice him inside on our first encounter. So, I pondered on how to invite him to my humble abode, racking my brain for ideas.

"This is my humble abode. I live alone, and you're welcome any time, day or night," I finally blurted out, hoping he would catch my drift.

As he prepared to depart, I seized the moment. "Hi, Blair, I hope I'm not asking too much. I planned to go grocery shopping tomorrow, but my car…" I trailed off, leaving the request hanging in the air.

"Do you need a ride?" he interjected, his voice filled with warmth.

"Exactly!" I replied, my heart leaping with joy.

"What time should I come?" he inquired, his willingness evident.

"Let's make it noon. You've truly made my day. By the way, may I have a hug? You've made my day so incredibly smooth," I implored, unable to resist the desire to embrace him. Stepping out of the car, he wrapped his arms around me, leaving an imprint that lingered until I retreated to the solace of my bedroom.

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Blair POV

Departing Tasha's house, an unparalleled elation coursed through my veins. The embrace of gratitude from such a remarkable woman felt like a divine miracle. Even upon arriving home, the sheer joy I carried with me refused to be concealed, catching the attention of my mother in the sitting room. To my surprise, she had returned early from her office. I greeted her, but her curiosity about my day demanded further explanation.

"Why are you brimming with excitement? It's your first day of your Master's degree program, something I've been urging you to pursue for years," she inquired, her eyes filled with genuine interest.

"Mum, I don't want you to pass judgment. I'm exhausted; please allow me to retreat to my room," I pleaded, hoping to evade her probing.

"Blair, you know I am a psychologist..." she began.

"...And psychologists are not mind readers," I interjected, cutting her off.

"I am aware, but please, tell me. You've never returned home with such fervor before," she persisted, her motherly concern evident.

"How do you even know that?" I questioned, caught off guard.

"I am your mother, Blair," she responded with a gentle smile, her understanding gaze piercing through my defenses.

How could I possibly reveal to my mother that I harbored a crush on my lecturer? She would undoubtedly judge me harshly and question my commitment to my education, despite her persistent coaxing.

"Allow me to be direct. I have developed feelings for one of my coursemates," I finally confessed, bracing myself for her reaction.

"Ah, a coursemate! I'm captivated. Perhaps this newfound infatuation will serve as a catalyst for your unwavering attendance," she mused, subtly hinting at the underlying benefits.

"Yes, and you're well aware of my disdain for this Master's program. You know I possess a natural talent for the arts, and that's where my true passion lies. However, you insisted that I take over my late father's company," I explained, hoping she would comprehend my conflicted emotions.

"Do you know why I am overjoyed?" she inquired, a glimmer of excitement dancing in her eyes.

"No," I responded, genuinely curious.

"I am delighted because this crush of yours will provide an emotional impetus for you to faithfully attend your classes every single day," she revealed, her voice filled with genuine enthusiasm.

"Mum, it's merely a crush. She's unaware of my feelings," I confessed, relieved to unburden myself.

"Then tell her. Who knows, she might have the same crush on you," my mother urged, her advice enveloped in hopeful anticipation.

"Isn't it too soon?" I hesitated, a trace of uncertainty lacing my words.

"Sooner is always better. What if someone else is also smitten with her? Is she a beauty to behold?" she probed, curiosity evident in her tone.

"Mum…" I trailed off, unable to contain my smile. "She is a vision of elegance. Her beauty electrifies me."

"Truly remarkable! What are you waiting for? Allow me to assist you. It's my specialty, after all," she offered, eager to lend a helping hand.

"Am I still a child, Mum? I am a twenty-five-year-old man," I chuckled, appreciating her unwavering support.

"Just take her on a date and express your feelings. Remember, you've struggled to maintain long-term relationships. What's her name?" she inquired, her enthusiasm undeterred.

"Mum, please, let me proceed at my own pace," I requested, yearning for autonomy.

To my utmost astonishment, my mother produced her credit card and declared, "Take it! I will cover the expenses for a date with her. Even if you don't want me to meet her, I want you to express your feelings."

I was dumbfounded by my mother's sudden fervor for my crush. "Take back your card. If that's the case, I will tell her," I declared, touched by her support.

As I lay in bed, rehearsing the words I intended to convey to Tasha, a sudden realization struck me with overwhelming force. What if my affection went unrequited? The fear of rejection and the potential aftermath threatened to shatter my hopes and dreams before they even materialized. Yet, as the night wore on, I recognized that I had to seize the opportunity, regardless of the potential consequences. The question lingered - would I summon the courage to reveal the truth, or would my feelings forever remain unspoken?