My secret baby with the movie star

What they shared, and what they didn’t

*Willa*

"I'll see you two tomorrow for the real fun," I say with a smile to Levi and Joel, a sense of satisfaction washing over me.

We are finally done for the day. It's been productive, filled with discussions, planning, and experimenting with different ideas. Yet, the true excitement begins tomorrow when we start shooting for real.

Joel returns the smile and pulls me into a hug, his enthusiasm palpable. "I'm looking forward to it, Willa. Thank you for today. It's been an entirely new experience for me."

"No, thank you, Joel. You were fantastic. I'm confident it's going to be great," I reply, hugging him back. Joel has this endearing quality about him; he's genuinely a sweetheart.

As Joel steps back, Levi moves forward, and a wave of awkwardness washes over me. However, his warm embrace quickly dispels any discomfort, and I find myself relaxing in his arms. There's something comforting about being close to him; his warmth and the faint scent of his cologne are unexpectedly soothing. "See you tomorrow, Levi."

"I can't wait, Willa. Sleep well," he says, releasing me. As I look up, there's a moment where it seems he might say more, but instead, he opts for a smile.

Returning the smile, I feel a sense of ease about Levi that wasn't there before our conversation today. He's been surprisingly easy to work with, although his occasional intense glances have left me slightly unsettled. "You too, Levi, and you, Joel. Make sure you're both well-rested for tomorrow."

With a final wave to them both, I head to my car and drive home to my small, cozy house. The evening passes quietly as I make dinner and settle down to eat in front of the TV.

Efforts to keep Levi from invading my thoughts succeed until I'm lying in bed, ready to sleep. Instead of rest, I find myself tossing and turning, my mind inexorably drifting back to that night. The anticipation for tomorrow and the unresolved tension with Levi weave through my thoughts, leaving me restless and curious about what the new day will bring.

15 years ago:

I am trying to breathe when Levi ends the kiss, but it most definitely isn’t easy. His hands feel warm, almost burning on my skin, and his kiss sends my head spinning.

Levi is gasping a bit too, his eyes shining brightly and his voice strained. "I think I better leave now, Willa, before this turns into something you might regret."

But I don't want him to leave. I just need to feel something, to keep my mind off my mother and her impending death for a while. Being close to Levi, his kisses, and his touches did that; they make me feel good and forget.

"Please don't go, Levi. I... I would like you to stay." I hold onto his arm, looking up at him pleadingly. I know what it is I'm really asking of him.

He gasps slightly, looking like he doesn't know what to do, and I feel the tears start to pool in my eyes. I just can't quite handle being rejected right now.

"Don't cry, Willa. I just don't want us to do something stupid, something you could regret," he said softly.

I grab the edge of my tank top and pull it off. I don't really care about tomorrow, honestly. I just want to keep the pain away now. "I won't regret anything, Levi."

I see how his eyes linger on my breasts and I blush slightly, then he looks into my eyes and it's like his eyes glaze over and he steps forward, pulling me close, kissing me passionately.

He gently pushes me down on the bed and sheds his own clothes, down to his boxers, before crawling up next to me, his hand traveling down over my body.

"You are so beautiful, Willa, but are you sure?" The way he asks makes me sure that he knows I am a virgin. Maybe Emma has told him?

I nod and pull him down to a kiss, my hands running into his hair, pulling at it, making him moan deeply. His hand finds my breast, starting to knead it softly.

His mouth travels down my neck, kissing and licking, finding my n****e, letting his tongue circle it slowly, then suddenly sucking it in between his lips, making me gasp.

I am totally inexperienced here. I have only kissed before and done some very light petting on top of clothes, and for a moment, I wonder why I am doing this.

Should I stop him, say that I changed my mind? But his hands and lips feel so good on my breast. I am pretty sure he has plenty of experience, and I think this seems like a good time and the right guy for my first time.

I can't help blushing as he pulls down my shorts. I am not used to people looking at me there, but he just smiles and caresses me so gently I immediately start to relax.

His long fingers start running over my warm folds, and I moan; that feels so nice, and so different from touching yourself there. And when he starts circling my clit, I gasp and buck my hips.

I am breathing hard, thinking I am very close to coming, but then he moves his fingers and I whimper, making him chuckle slightly.

But I soon forget my disappointment when he slides a finger into me. Oh God, that is a long finger, and soon I am feeling it build again, as he keeps brushing my G-spot, or I think that is what it is, because I have never found it myself, but what he does feels so amazing.

When he stops once again right before I reach my c****x, I groan, and he kisses me, his voice hoarse. "You feel so good. I just can't wait any longer."

This is it. I am a little nervous but so very aroused and excited. I help him pull off his boxers, looking down and gasping slightly, thinking it looks a bit bigger than I expected.

He looks into my eyes, his gaze caring, as I can feel him at my entrance, and he asks once more, "Are you sure, Willa?"

I just nod, clenching my teeth, expecting it to hurt. Everyone has told me it will. I feel him pressing himself inside me; at first, it's okay, but then there's a bit of resistance, and as he pushes through, a flash of pain shoots through me and I gasp.

"Are you okay?" Levi looks at me, his eyes concerned and a bit confused, and I hurriedly nod, pulling his face down to kiss him.

As he starts to move again, the pain quickly gives way to pleasure. I have been so close two times that my body is more than ready, and I feel the o****m build rapidly inside me.

"Oh shit." I gasp, and my hands grab his ass, my eyes rolling back in my head, as the o****m pulls me under. This is surely very different and much more intense than the orgasms I have given myself.

I hear him moan my name, and I know my o****m has pulled him with me, feeling him almost collapse on me. He slides down beside me, pulling me into his arms, and soon I am drifting off to sleep.

Back to present time:

I let out a sigh, my mind swirling with the same question that has haunted me for so long… should I tell him? No, I decide once more, it's better not to.

After all this time, the thought of revealing my secret feels even more daunting. It's a burden that's grown heavier with each passing day, a silent whisper in the back of my mind that never truly fades. The fear of how he might react, the possibility of how he might react, it's overwhelming. So, I choose to keep it locked away, a decision that weighs heavily on my heart.

With that resolution, albeit a heavy one, I finally allow myself to drift off to sleep. However, it's not a restful sleep. It's uneasy, disturbed by strange dreams that seem to echo my inner turmoil.

Shadows and whispers fill my dreams, a reflection of my concealed thoughts and the secret I'm too afraid to share. It's as if my subconscious is trying to confront me with the very thing I'm trying to suppress while awake. Despite the unease, it's a relief to escape into sleep, even if just for a little while, from the constant weight of my secret.