The Lady Out of Time

13 - Weakness

The bathhouse incident gave Agrippa plenty of opportunities to rib Julia, if he'd chosen to take them. Instead, he opted to let her simmer in suspense for a few more weeks, no doubt wondering when he would make a comment on either her lack of usual bravery when it came to snakes or about her nakedness. In truth, however, it was more a hesitance to make her uncomfortable. She was thick-skinned and seemed more bothered by the fact that he had seen the "ugly" red blotches on her body than her actual nakedness itself, but ever since then, he was far more aware - of everything.

She was so young. If he could turn the clock back more than a decade and be eighteen again, he would choose not to take himself so seriously. Julia's maturity that so ill-suited her age was more upsetting than it was endearing now: she rarely ever seemed to enjoy herself when it came to the typical pastimes of women her age. Certainly, she never seemed to quite fit in with the other young slave women. Trinkets like combs, tiny painted brooches, pins and cords for tightening tunics - unless they were of the finest variety, they never seemed to interest her.

The one thing that Agrippa found favorable about it all was that she never spent much time chasing men as the others did. Less time wasted, he told himself, and it freed up her attention so that she could help him on truly valuable things instead, like the defendant system that he had been working so tirelessly on for weeks and weeks now. Surely the betterment of society was a far greater pursuit than romance. If she ever stumbled and allowed herself to be distracted so, he would find it an immense, towering disappointment...

He avoided wondering why he was so bothered by the idea of Julia setting her sights on someone. If the thought crossed his mind, he told himself it was because she had too much promise.

Truthfully, though, her competency in Latin was astonishing. She refused to explain how it was that she was literate when most Roman citizens never enjoyed such a vaunted privilege besides statesmen, scholars, and anyone lucky enough to be their scribal aides. In fact, it didn't take long to realize it wasn't just her general literacy that far exceeded that of most men. Her clerical competency improved by leaps and bounds, almost as if she were somehow already used to such terms. But that was impossible. Being able to read and write - while unlikely, it was still possible that a passing literate citizen had bequeathed that upon her when she was young. But administrative knowledge, official business - these things were meant to be confidential to a degree.

That Julia took to her clerical education as if she had already been born into it made him uneasy. Statesmen with decades of experience couldn't possibly measure up. If he were in his right state of mind, he would have interrogated her harshly and demanded the truth once and for all.

...But he wasn't, and he didn't. Instead, he continued to bury her in work, driving her ever onward and polishing her skills until she was diamond-tipped and lethal. Another two weeks passed, and then another. She never complained - in fact, she delighted in surprising him with smug satisfaction every time she returned from her side of his study with arms full of completed parchment documents in and laid them on his desk.

He shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't. A slave, and a woman no less - there were men who would kill someone such as Julia for far less. Especially the incompetent politicians who couldn't even dream of possibly measuring up to her skills and competency because they had found their way to seats of power through nepotism. They would never stand for anyone of such inferior station to prove superior in her capabilities.

But this was the only way to help her. She had no papers, no documentation, nothing to prove her Roman citizenship or right to basic freedoms. She was a slave in every way but in Agrippa's thoughts, and even he had no power to change her status according to Roman law. Even if he tried to emancipate her, she would be ridiculed and scorned all her life and treated as the basest of freedwomen, and he would be unable to protect her from any of that even if he took her under his wing. All her life, that would follow her.

Unless she was able to procure an undeniable record of great accomplishments while she was in service to him first. After that, once he emancipated her, there would be no one in Rome who could look down on her. Yes, most of them would still spit at her and gnash their teeth in secret and refuse to hire her for services, but with her intelligence, education, and now clerical training, eventually there would be no noble house in Rome who could turn their noses up at her skills.

And she could work for the statehood, for the empire that Augustus wanted to build. The emperor was far more open-minded than most under him, and when he saw how valuable Julia could be, he wouldn't hesitate to ask Agrippa to make full use of her. And a decree from the emperor honoring a freed woman so that she could apply herself to the advancement of Rome - that would raise her above any naysayer who dared squint in her direction.

And now it had been several months since the day they had first met, her lip cut and bruised from Annia's fist and cheek reddened by fierce slaps. How different Julia was now, sitting and writing furiously on her own desk in his study. Yes, he had had one built for her of the finest Lebanon cedars, and the high-backed chair as well. Enough space for her to eat in between work as she refused to leave her writing even when he begged and cajoled her (him! Agrippa! Begging! What had the world come to) for fear that she would faint away from exhaustion.

And while he knew it was entirely inappropriate, he had even entertained the idea of setting up a bed in his study for her. It wasn't as if she had any more household duties to keep up with now that he occupied her with this work instead. Indeed, setting up her bedroom so close to his would cut down on the time she spent moving around the house in the morning and in the evening...surely...

Ideas like these plagued him day to day, and this morning as well. Dangerous thoughts swirled around in his head as he stared at the back of Julia's, the dark gleam of her loose braid catching his eye the way it had been doing more and more often these days. She ought not be a slave, he found himself thinking. She had to keep building up her accomplishments so that she could break away from her invisible chains soon, and he would continue to help her to the fullest extent. As distasteful as the thought of losing her company - that is, her invaluable services - was, he couldn't bear the thought of confining her to such an undeserved station in life.

She was brilliant. In a decade, she would far surpass his own accomplishments if given the chance, and he intended to give every single one of them without reserve.

"Oh, you're here!"

He hid his surprise at the sudden sound of her voice and raised his chin. "Yes. I'm here. What is that you're working on?"

"It's just something else while I waited for you, that idea you had to streamline the electoral system for the next consul selection. I didn't want to forget it so I was just jotting it down. But here, I have everything bound and put together. Everything should be in order and ready for presentation."

He smiled and reached out for it, patiently waiting as she gathered up the parchments in a perfect stack and brought them over. The defendant system that they had worked on together for so many weeks, barely pausing to rest. All condensed in this document. It made his heart race to think of what they had accomplished now, and how it would change Rome from here on out. Augustus would be pleased -

"So this is the final discussion, isn't it? Or not even a discussion, it's done. You're just giving the emperor the summary of everything that's been finalized."

He took them from her with careful hands. "Yes."

"I want to see him."

He looked up from the parchments and fixed her with a surprised stare. She hadn't let go of the documents yet, her slender fingers still wrapped around the sides. "What?"

"I said I want to see him. I want to see what he looks like. He'll be there in person, won't he?"

The impatience in her voice made him sigh. "He will be, but -"

"I want to go! Take me with you."

"...This is serious. I -"

"I know that! It's the emperor. I'm not going to torment you in front of him, I promise."

He couldn't help but smile at that. So she did know how much of a pain she was when she teased him endlessly about every little thing, did she? "I can't trust you that far. You'll embarrass me at every opportunity."

"Oh, you're being dramatic. Have I ever done anything when it really counted?"

He raised his eyebrows at her, but when she did the same to him, there was nothing he could retort with. The truth was that she never crossed the line when it came down to it, always affording him the utmost respect in front of his colleagues and in public functions to maintain his dignity as Agrippa, the emperor's right hand man. That...was true.

The truth was that he was simply uneasy about taking her somewhere that would be teeming with political lowlifes, the sort that would look at her greedily and ask him if they could "borrow" her for a night. She was beautiful, and she had a truly sharp, womanly air about her discernible even to the glancing eye.

It didn't sit right with him. Not at all.

"Hey, most of that" - she nodded her chin down at the stack of parchments - "is exported straight from the blood and sweat of your hardworking scribe. Which would be me, to be specific."

"Yes, and I appreciate that, as well as the rest of Rome will -"

"What does appreciation do for me!" she protested. "Take me with you, I'll be so good."

She was irresistible when she was like this, testing and challenging him with mixed playfulness and a demanding spirit. How could he say no -

Wait, no, he was going down that path again, the one full of dangerous, idle thoughts. That would be the last time he allowed himself to think of Julia as 'irresistible.'

And yet...it wasn't uncommon to take slaves to a meeting. Noblemen abhorred doing anything for themselves, even at state functions. No one would raise a single eyebrow at Agrippa if he decided to take Julia with him so long as she didn't do anything to attract their ire. And to date, she had yet to jeopardize her safety at the functions she'd attended with him so far. Maybe this would be a good opportunity to introduce her to Augustus...?

"I'll even help explain it. Any of the boring parts that you're too tired to go over, just say the word, and I'll do it." She was still bargaining with him, completely unaware that he was already crumbling. Completely unaware that with each passing second, not only was he considering yielding, but that he wanted her to come with him. Already, the thought of going alone as he'd planned tasted sour in his mouth already.

"Fine, fine," he said at long last in a long-suffering tone, making sure that none of his pleasure slipped out through his voice. "I don't care. You may come with me. But take care not to say anything at all unless first you've been spoken to. Understand? This is important -"

She celebrated with a bright laugh and smile before rushing off to find more suitable clothes bearing his colors, leaving him to sigh and berate himself for his weaknesses.