The Maybe Daddy

Chapter Four

‘Dylan! Dylan!’ Affie shouted, waving her arms vigourously.

‘Its no use!’ Mandy giggled. ‘He is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. Right now you could blast a foghorn and my son wouldn’t flinch.’

‘Incredible!’ Affie said, in amazement. ‘It’s like you and whatever film Ryan Gosling is in.’

She slapped her friend playfully on the arm. ‘How can I resist him? I mean come on, in the notebook he was just every woman’s dream guy.’

‘Nah I like my guys a bit rougher around the edges,’ Affie smiled, licking her perfect red pout. ‘Jason Statham has it all. What I wouldn’t give for him to….’

‘Hush!’ Mandy warned. ‘My son? Soon enough you wont be able to use all that…..gutter talk, he’ll repeat everything.’

Affie scoffed, and narrowed her eyes, playfully. ‘I happen to be the coolest Aunt any kid could have’

‘I wont argue there’

Mandy looked lovingly at her best friend and son. Right here, she had all the family she needed, and this was a moment where she counter her blessings instead of mourned for what she had lost. After the argument with Amelia, Allegra Cascarino had visited with her. As she was fairly new to the position, it seemed she was also easy to get rid of, and within a week she was forced to leave the apartment she was growing to love. This had been a new low point, watching removal men strapping her designer furniture into their truck and taking it to Affie’s apartment building to be stored in her basement.

  At less than nine weeks pregnant, she was homeless, jobless and word had circulated amongst those they’d partied with, that she was with child. She was treated like a leper by old college friends, she was now different to them, her life was about to take a vastly different path to theirs.  No longer feeling like she had anything in common with them, they drifted apart. She urged Affie to continue seeing them, they’d become close over the years, but Affie decided to take her own alternate path. She’d been bold enough to call Kian Hamidi, the fellow dentist Affie had her eye on.  After a few lavish dates, they decided to become exclusive. This was huge for her friend, and her first proper relationship.  Nights out were now spent with their dentistry colleagues or together at romantic restaurants with exquisite, ostentacious menus.

Her dearest friend had taken her in, and refused any payments towards bills. Mandy made it up to her by cooking every night she was home, but her real p*****t was the affection Dylan gave her.  Beyond Mandy herself, he adored Affie and Kian, and his gentle laid back nature was at odds with the beginning he had had.  She had been diagnosed with ante natal depression. She hadn’t known the condition existed, until her OBGYN had been alerted to Mandy’s anxiety, beyond what was considered normal for a first pregnancy.

It all began when five months into her pregnancy, she had accepted an invite from her sister to a family barbeque. By this time, she was showing, though she chose to hide behind loose empire line dresses and baggy linen shirts. Driving to the Hamptons on her own had been daunting enough, the anticipation of speaking to family members and having to admit her pregnancy to her parents began to eat away at her. She hung back as family members pretended to be interested in one anothers dull, egotistical lives and then she noticed her mother and father sitting together by Sarah’s award winning rose garden, and took the plunge.

‘Hi Mom….Dad’ she greeted.

Her mother inspected her emerald green dress, unimpressed. The scowl she often wore seemed a permanent fixture when her youngest daughter was around.  ‘Hello dear’ her words lacked any emotion and were always one degree short of frosty.

‘Hi. Are you both well?’

Her Dad smiled, ready for his speel about how well he was doing. He was on the board at Mercy Hospital and lectured in various high brow academic institutions across America and Europe. Just like every other Romer, he was self centred and uninterested in the lives of anyone but himself.

After listening to him for over half an hour, she decided to tell them her news. It had been a battle for her to come to terms with the pregnancy, but losing her job had given her ample time to mull it over. An abortion had always been out of the question, and she knew now that it was because she had been so ignored by her parents and on some level desperately wanted a family life. Before she fell pregnant she had been sure she never wanted children, but now she was determined to see it through.

Taking a deep breath, she glanced at both her parents, unsure of where her genes came from. Her mother was petite, with dark hair and olive skin. Her father was five ten, and had had black hair in his youth, it was now a dark shade of silver. Mandy had always had bleach blonde hair as a child, and as she went into her twenties it had dulled somewhat, so was enhanced at the salon. She towered over her mother at five foot eight, and though slim, seemed much heavier set than her mother whos wrists were so skinny it looked like lifting a tea cup could break them.

‘Mom, Dad. I’m pregnant’ she declared.

Her mother blinked at her, once then twice, then far more times than she could count. Her father glared, then stood up, grabbing her by the arm and marching her to the centre of the luscious rose garden so they were obscured from view.

‘How could you do this to us’ he hissed. Looking down at her bump he was unable to hide his disgust and Mandy felt her cheeks begin to burn.

‘What happened to the job? To doing it all on your own? Are you back here to beg for money? Your boyfriend not up to the job of looking after you?’

‘I don’t have a boyfriend. And I don't want your money’

‘Oh this is wonderful. Our daughter who we gave everything, turns up at a family barbeque with child! Are we supposed to be thrilled?’

‘I need support that’s all’ she found herself saying, meekly.

Reuben Romer was an intimidating man at the best of times. Right now, he was utterly overbearing, standing over her like a venomous snake about to pounce.

‘Support?’ he spat, a humourless laugh escaping his lips. ‘Darling you got yourself into this mess. Now for your own dignity and for your mothers sake I suggest you keep this little tidbit of information close to your chest. We don’t want people talking, this is your problem and we wont be dragged into your urban fairytale.’

Hot tears poured down her cheeks. Her mother appeared shoving a hankerchief at her. There was no tenderness in the gesture, she merely wanted any trace of this conversation to be gone by the time they stepped back into the family fray. This was typical of her parents, always to keen to protect their own interests, their own petty lives, and the social circles they ran in and lived for.

She took that moment to leave the party, and drove to a shopping precinct close by. She had no idea what urged her to come here, but as soon as she stepped into the air conditioned marble halls she felt the sea of bright shop lights begin to spin around her. She felt like she was screaming and spinning around, yet she was stationary, clutching her budding bump and sobbing uncontrollably. An elderly woman came to assist her, calling 911 and staying with her till she reached the hospital and her emergency contact, Affie, was able to get there.

She had many more of these attacks, and lost great spaces of time, until her OBGYN assisted her with finding a therapist who specialised in the area of antenatal depression, a seemingly recent discovery.  Ellie Swanson was a gentle, patient lady, and reminded Mandy of Diane Keaton.  She listened and divulged that she too had been a young mother, with no father to rely on. The picture she painted was far less dire, and desperate than the one Mandy had made herself believe in. She was lucky, bless even, to have Affie there every step of the way. Kian was unbelievably understanding, even when dates were broken so that Affie could accompany her to hospital visits and classes.

Dylan was a treasure, and right now, watching him run around the room pretending to be an aeroplane was all the excitement she needed in her life. He was twenty months old,  and into everything, and using her nest egg she tried her best to give him the home comforts he deserved.  People often frowned when she explained her was her son, she was poles apart from him. She had dazzling blue eyes, he had eyes so brown they were almost black. Her skin was pale, whereas his had a beautiful olive colour. One thing he may have inherited from his maternal grandmother, who had not yet met him. She had tried to visit her parents but they were always engaged elsewhere, and soon enough she took the hint and stopped calling. Azar and Richard Le Verne had been actively involved in Dylan’s life, and he called them ‘Tanty and Unky’. He was bright as a button and brought sunshine into the lives of every one he met.

Between them, they provided her child care whilst she looked for work.  Her grandfather had left her a substantial amount in his will, some five years ago, but she was loathe to let it run down to critical levels.  On his first birthday, she had transferred more than half of it into a fund for her son. Affie had called it the college fund but Mandy had chosen to use the term ‘The Dream Fund.’ She was adamant that she would stand by her boy whether he wanted to follow his Aunts footsteps and become a dentist, or be an artist, chef or bar tender.

The money she had wouldn’t last forever, she knew that. She also knew she couldn’t keep relying on others. Soon the day would come when Affie needed a little more privacy in her relationship, she might get married and have her own kids. It would only be so long before Mandy would feel like a spare part, a third wheel, and she didn’t want to complicate matters for her friend. Affie would never say anything, such was her nature, and so before it became a problem Mandy needed a plan.

As bright and amazing as Dylan was, he could also be very hard work. Some nights he’d cry for no reason,  or want to play at 2am. Affie’s apartment was small, in spite of the large sum of money she paid per month on the rental.  Its prime position dictated that it set her back a fortune, when in truth it was no bigger than most one bedroomed properties elsewhere in the City. The difference was, those properties didn’t have the views Affie’s place had, nor the walking distance to all of New Yorks most exciting night spots.

That evening, as she tucked her little boy up in the bed they shared, she stroked his jet black hair and wondered what his father was like. There had been so many times, when he’d been awake as a newborn, and she’d pace the floor holding her son against her chest and fantasising about having a husband. Someone who she could give the baby to when he was colicky and she desperately needed a shower, someone to pick her up after every job rejection and be there providing for them while she was out of work. She saw his father as being a lawyer perhaps, God knows there were so many of them there that night. He was dark haired, over six foot tall and well built. She’d dream about resting her head on a hard muscular chest, and falling asleep, knowing if Dylan woke he’d have a doting father to help get him back to sleep.