The Silver Lycan Queen

Chapter 5 - Desperate measures

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Novah

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“I think I do,” I tell him, squeezing his hand in reassurance and watching the look of pain in his eyes change to one of confusion, fear, hope, and another emotion I can’t describe.

“You do?”

“At least what you are. I think you’re a vampire, Nolan,” I tell him, seeing more confusion in his eyes. So, I explain what a vampire is to him, but he cuts me off as he abruptly gets to his feet before pacing up and down with a panicked look on his face. I get up and walk over to him, but he puts his hands up, causing me to stop.

“I can’t imagine how overwhelming this is for you, but I promise you’ll be okay. I’ll help you figure things out.”

“I don’t want to figure it out! I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be a monster that hurts people!”

“I’m sorry, Nolan. But I promise you, it’s not all bad. Yes, we sometimes hurt people, but that’s not all we are. Sometimes we do good too, like how you saved my life. If you were an ordinary human, I’d be dead right now, and most likely, so would you. Being magical beings is a burden, I know, but it’s never one we can’t carry.” After a moment, he sits down, and there’s silence for a while before he speaks.

“You... are a vampire too?” He asks, sounding more like a statement than a question.

“No. I’m something else,” I reply, sitting down on the boulder next to him. “I’m a werewolf. We have super strength, heightened senses, and super speed like you, but we have two forms, and we are... alive.”

I explain everything there is to know about wolves, including the mate bond to Nolan as well as our differences. I also don’t leave out the complexities of the relationship between wolves and vampires, so he may tread carefully. The only thing I’m unable to explain to him is his eye color. A vampire’s eyes turn red when they change, but his eyes turn black, like his natural eye color—something I’ve never heard of.

I promise to do some research on it and bring him books so he can learn more about vampires and help him rediscover who he is. I plan to steal a key to one of our apartments and move him in there while I figure out what to do. I can’t have him living out there like this.

•

•

I let out a sigh of relief, having successfully sneaked back into my room. Just as I closed the sliding door, there’s a knock on my front door, and I quickly throw on my robe, hiding my outfit.

“Why are you still wearing a robe?” my mother asks, entering my room, and I look at her, confused. It’s Sunday. I don’t have any obligations on Sundays.

“Kellan’s people are here. Don’t tell me you forgot,” she says, and for the first time, I cringe at the sound of his name.

Shit! I forgot.

There’s a festival happening this weekend in Brakendel, and Kellan has sent his jet to come get me. He’s expected to make a speech there, and now he wants me with him. I’m supposed to spend the night with his family and return tomorrow, but I can’t do that. Not now. Nolan needs me. I promised him I’d come back, and I need to organize a place for him to stay. I can’t have him sleeping out there again tonight. I walk away from my mother, running my hands through my hair in frustration, and she picks up on it.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t go, Mom.”

“What? What are you talking about?” She asks, walking up to me, but I back away before turning away from her.

“I can’t leave. I can’t go to Brakendel.”

“I understand that. What I want to know is why."

“I have somewhere to be, Mom, and it’s important.”

“More important than your fiancé?”

“Yes, more important than him. Please, just make an excuse for me. I can’t go, Mom,” I tell her, still facing away from her, unable to hide the panic in my voice.

“Novah, what’s really going on?” she asks, gently placing her hands on my shoulders before turning me around to face her. “You’ve been acting strange all week, and now you want Kellan’s people to go back without you after he sent them all the way? You know your father won’t allow that. Tell me what’s going on,” she adds, and I feel tears pooling in my eyes.

She’s right. Father won’t let me turn them away, but I don’t want to break the first promise I made to Nolan. I want him to trust me. He needs to trust someone in his life right now.

“It’s everything, Mom. I… I-“ I begin to say, but she cuts me off, taking my hand in hers.

“It’s overwhelming, I know. Marriage is a scary thing, especially when you don’t know the other person very well. But I promise, you’ll be fine. I was the same when the time came for your father and me to get married.

Like yours and Kellan's, our marriage was also arranged at a young age, and because I had years to prepare myself for it, I thought I was ready. But as it neared, I became overwhelmed. I couldn’t keep anything down for that entire week, but look at us now. It’s like we’ve loved each other all our lives, and that’s how it’s going to be for you, too. You’re going to make it work, and I’ll be here for you every step of the way,” she says, pulling me into a hug, and the tears that have been threatening to fall finally cascade down my cheeks, feeling like I’m suffocating.

I want to do right by my parents and my people, and I am willing to sacrifice my soul for them. But now it’s not just my soul in question. I know I just met Nolan, and the love I feel for him is because of the bond, but he’s my mate. We are made for each other, and there’s a reason we found each other. No one has found their mate in decades, but here we are; somehow we did.

“Now, I’m going to call Liliana, and she’s going to help you get ready,” she says as we pull back from the hug. Liliana is my personal maid, but I always allow her to do whatever she likes to spend her time doing when my mother isn’t looking.

She and I grew up together, and we were quite close as kids, but our roles don’t allow us to be close now as adults. Her mother is the chief maid of the house. After that, my mother walks out, and I collapse onto the bed, continuing to cry. But just then there’s a knock on the door, and Liliana comes in.

“Milady, is everything okay?” She asks, and I raise my head to look at her. She knows she doesn’t have to address me so formally when no one’s around. “I’m sorry,” she says, walking up to me and sitting down on the bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s a long story,” I reply, getting up to proceed to the shower, feeling torn. Carla suddenly speaks in my head, suggesting something that could help us in our predicament, but I don’t like it. I tell her I can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt her, but she insists, and after a long argument, I agree and step out of the shower.

“I need to ask you a huge favor, Ana,” I tell her, walking up to her while she’s busy laying my dress on the bed.

“Of course. What do you need?”

“I need you to inject me with wolfsbane.”

“What? Why?” She asks, turning to stare at me with wide-open eyes in shock. But I’m desperate. I can’t go.

“Because I need it, okay? Please, just get it.”

“No! I can’t do that. Why would you ask me to poison you?”

“Because I’m desperate, Ana.”

“Desperate for what? I don’t understand. What could make you want to kill yourself?”

“Kill myself? I’m not trying to make kill myself. I only want to get sick so I don’t have to go to Brakendel.”

“Why?”

“Ana, please. I’m running out of time. Just do as I say,” I tell her, placing my hands on her shoulders, but she looks away from me. “Look, I know it’s a big ask, and I—”

“—I could get killed, Novah.”

“I know, and no one will find out, I promise.”

“What if you get too sick and the King finds out?”

“I won’t. You’ll just inject me with a small dosage. Please, I’m begging you.”

“I don’t know, Novah. All of this is confusing to me. The prince is your fiancé, and it’s not like this is the first time you’re going over there. You’re not making sense right now, and you’re scaring me. If you don’t want to marry him, this is not the way to do—”

“—I found my mate,” I blurt out, desperate for her to stop her rambling and do as I say.

“What? What do you mean?” She asks, now looking at me like I’m losing my mind.

“I mean, I found him, Ana. I found my fated mate. The man I’m supposed to marry, the man I love.”

“But that’s crazy. Mates don’t exist. Everybody knows that.”

“I know, Ana, but I found mine. And I promised to come back to him tonight. Look, I know how crazy I sound to you right now, and I’ll answer all the questions you have. I’ll even show him to you, but right now, I need you to help me. I need these people to go back to Brakendel without me. Please, I have never asked you for anything. Do this for me, please. I promise I won’t get you in trouble,” I plead with her, and she looks at me silently for a moment, her eyes searching mine.

“Fine, I’ll do it, but Novah I don’t like this. I don’t like it one bit,” she says after a minute, and I let out a breath of relief, pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you. I owe you.”

I get dressed in the meantime. I know this is extreme, but it’s an extreme situation. Nolan’s been through a lot, and I’m the only person he’s got. I don’t want him to doubt me, especially not while our situation is still fragile like this. And the thought of having someone else touch me right now repulses me. Kellan would see right through me; he’d know something had changed. There’s no way I can go through with this marriage. My dad will have to find some other way to form alliances with Kellan’s father. Surely, they can understand.

I finish getting ready and stand in front of the mirror, my nerves getting the better of me with every minute that passes, looking at the door and waiting for it to open. I’ve been trying to link Ana, but she’s blocking me out.

“Honey!” I hear my mother’s voice on the other side, and my heart speeds up.

“Yes, mom!”

“How far are you? It looks like there might be a storm coming later on.”

“I’m almost done. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay,” I hear her say after a moment before walking away. I rush over to my phone and dial Ana’s number to find out what’s taking her so long, but her phone rings on top of the bed, causing me to throw mine on the bed and start pacing up and down in a panic.

Did she lie to me? Is she even getting the wolfsbane?

After thirty minutes, I give up and grab my purse before looking at myself in the mirror again with a heavy heart. I walk up to my door, but it opens before I can reach the handle, and Ana comes in holding something inside her pocket, causing tears to pool in my eyes as relief washes over me.

“I thought you bailed on me,” I tell her, closing the door behind her before following her further into the room.

“I’m sorry for blocking you out, but you were making me nervous, and I had to make excuses to get into the armory and make sure no one sees me taking it. Wolfsbane is not something you can just take.”

“I know. Thank you, Ana,” I tell her as she stands in front of me, filling the small syringe."