The devil She-wolf

What she wants

*Frannie*

“Are you all right?”

Traveling in the coach Luc has lent us for the journey back to the club, I turn my attention away from the window where I can see little, save the rain, to look at Jack. “Of course. Why would you ask?”

“You seem particularly preoccupied.”

I am. With thoughts of Greywind’s scandalous proposal, and my even more scandalous reply. ‘I’ll consider your offer.’

Which means what, exactly? Am I seriously considering it, or did I simply not know what else to say? If I say no, will he ever ask again? Will I ever see him again? If I say yes, will I later change my mind? Will I have regrets?

After tugging free a glove, I lay my bare fingers against the cheek Greywind had stroked. The sensation is nothing compared to the sensuality he has brought to the fore. My touch fails to elicit the incredible heat that coiled in my belly and flowed outward until I felt like molten wax. I slide my fingers over to my lips and toy with them a moment. Again the sensation is nothing like the sweet pressure of his mouth against mine, urging my lips to willingly part…

Once Luc kissed me, and it was as light as a butterfly landing on a rose petal. Nothing about Greywind’s kiss has been gentle, but neither has it been rough. It has been… hungry, as though he were a starving man and I alone could provide his sustenance. Where are these insane thoughts coming from? Are they a reflection of my own desires, my own cravings to once more sample all he has to offer?

Gazing out the window again, I ask, “Jack, have you ever taken a lover?”

“I should think it depends.”

I snap my gaze back to him. It has seemed a simple enough question. Either he has or he hasn’t. Is there more to this lover business than I realize? “On what precisely?”

“On whether or not you consider a bought she-wolf to be a lover.” He crosses his arms over his chest and looks up at the ceiling of the coach as though the answer to a riddle rests there. “I suppose you can’t. A lover, it seems to me, should be with you willingly, with no expectations of earning a coin. So with that in mind, I’ve never taken a lover.” He lowers his gaze to me. “Seems a strange question coming from you.”

For the first time in my life, I’m not comfortable with him, can’t tell him that my heated encounter with Greywind has prompted my inquiry. Where does a she-wolf go for answers? Because I know if I listen to my own yearnings, I would be knocking on Greywind’s door this evening. “I’m simply curious. I’m not exactly certain what the expectations are for a lover, what the situation actually entails. Would a lover…love her lover? Would he love her?”

“Good Goddess, Frannie, love is hardly involved at all. It’s simply a polite way of saying a gent wants what’s beneath a she-wolf’s skirts.”

With a nod, I look back out the window. Certainly that is all that the gentleman truly wants. I’m good enough to bed, but not to wed. He sees me as no better than a p********e. His currency is a wicked mouth rather than coins, but dear Goddess help me, I had been almost willing to accept the terms.

“Ah, dammit, Frannie, I shouldn’t have been so crude.” Jack leans forward, his elbows on his thighs. “Why the sudden curiosity?”

The heat of embarrassment… or is it shame? warms my cheeks, and I’m grateful that the gloomy weather might prevent him from noticing my blush. Our childhood has forged a bond that allows us to share the most intimate of thoughts and know we are safe from scrutiny or judgment. I dart my gaze to his, then drop it to my hands. “I’ve had an offer.”

“An offer?”

Gathering up my resolve, I return my gaze to his. “Someone wants to be my lover.”

He narrows his eyes for a heartbeat. I’ve seen the look before. It often precedes his giving someone a sound thrashing. “Who’s the blackguard?”

Ah, dear Goddess, I wish I hadn’t said anything, but Jack is one of my best friends. Unfortunately, I suddenly realize some things shouldn’t be shared, but who else is there for me to ask? I certainly can’t ask Evangeline, when her brother is the one causing my dilemma. “I don’t want to say. Forget I even brought it up.”

He flings himself back against the seat. “Greywind, the bastard.”

“What? No! Why would you think him?”

Leaning forward again, he takes my hands. “Frannie darling, I’m a man. I saw the way he eyed you, as though you were a delectable morsel that would satisfy a man’s hunger. He disappeared for a bit. You were gone for a while. I’m thinking he took advantage of the opportunity and during a clandestine moment he made his indecent proposal.”

It hadn’t felt indecent. As a matter of fact, I had been quite flattered, but then I’d also been lightheaded and lost in a passionate fog, following his heat-searing kiss. But what really astounds me is Jack’s description of the way Greywind has been looking at me with hunger that I could satisfy.

I’ve had men leer at me, had them look at me as though I were fine crystal that could easily c***k, but never with hunger. It’s quite exhilarating. I squeeze Jack’s fingers. “Would it be so wrong, do you think… to entertain the notion of being someone’s lover? I’ve been a thief, a w***e…”

“It was not your choosing to be a w***e,” he grinds out.

“A man paid for me, Jack. Call it what you will, I’ve never freely given myself to a gentleman. I’m nearly thirty, years past the age when most she-wolves marry. Until Luc asked for my hand in marriage, I’d never given any thought to being someones mate. I can’t see myself married.”

“Why ever not? Jay would marry you in a heartbeat. So would I, for that matter, if I didn’t think you deserved far better than me.”

I give him a wry smile. “Jack Moondancer getting married? I don’t quite see that happening.”

As though to further his argument, he reminds me, “He’s an Alpha.”

Jack knows the discomfort I experience around the High packs and those with titles. They all do. It’s the reason they’ve circled around me at Luc’s. “That would be a problem if I had plans to marry him… which I do not. Lovers are private, a secret sin, aren’t they? I wouldn’t have to move about in his world.”

“The answer to your earlier question is no. No love exists between lovers. You’re likely to get very badly hurt, Frannie, and I’d feel responsible because you have a skewed view of the world from working at my club. I provide men with a safe place to engage in sin, but I don’t want them sinning with you. Besides, any decent man would be fortunate to have you for a mate. You shouldn’t settle for less.”

With a nod, I work my hands free of his and sit back against the seat. “I suppose it wasn’t truly a compliment he was paying me.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he says tartly.

“I daresay I probably should have slapped him.”

He nods, “Absolutely.”

I sigh and gaze back out the window. The problem is that all I really want to do is kiss him again. Wanting to be so close to a man is a new and exhilarating experience. Pity that I can’t stop thinking about it, and the more I think about it, unfortunately, the more I want it.