In Dreams: Bleed Out

More Than My Life

"Oh my God!  You've been running around here calling me child and you're YOUNGER than me?!  You're practically a baby!  And in man years that's like 15!"  I giggled helplessly.

"What exactly do you mean by 'man years'?"  Alexandre asked.

"Men mature slower than women, particularly mentally.  You're still a baby, kid."  I said, leaning on the table towards him.  Alexandre's lip lifted into a light snarl.

"Are you challenging me?  Remember I have over a century's worth of experience, despite my young age of turning."  Alexandre responded haughtily.

"I'm not challenging you-I'm informing you.  You. are. a. baby."  I stood up and leaned even further over the small table with glee.  Knowing he was only in his twenties had caused a shift in the way I perceived him, he was suddenly less threatening, less imposing, less regal.

"I'm warning you, child, don't test me, I will come across this table at you."  Alexandre warned, but his eyes gleamed with mischief, not anger, which inspired me to continue to goad him.

"Child?  Who exactly is in their twenties here again?"  I straightened and crossed my arms.  "Baaaby..."   I stretched the word out but never fully completed it, because true to his word, Alexandre flashed across the table in one of his lightning quick moves, tucking me into a roll and landing with me in his arms, tickling me mercilessly.

"Who's the baby now?"  He growled as I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

"Still...you!"  I gasped between gales of laughter.  "Twenty year old."

"Ok fine, old lady."  Alexandre responded, making me struggle to breathe so I could respond.

"Hey!  Rude!  But still, older than you!"  I collapsed back to the floor in laughter and Alexandre's face relaxed in a small smile.  He pushed hair off my face.

"I'm happy to see you smiling."  He said gently.

"And now you've made it awkward."  I groaned and sat up.  Alexandre sat quietly for a few moments.

"Do you still wish to see the place of your death this afternoon?"  He asked softly.  I felt my body stiffen.  "I don't mean to push you into it if you are not prepared.  It's been a stressful day, so I would understand..."  I shushed him before he could continue.

"No, I want to go... I mean, it's important to me... I don't think this is coming out right."  I frowned.

"I understand.  Your death was traumatic, your life no less so.  I understand your need for closure now."  Alexandre responded with pity in his eyes.  I briefly felt bad for not correcting him on my real meaning of closure.  In this instance: revenge.  I was tired of being walked all over by people who did nothing but mistreat me.  Alexandre must have seen a shift in my expression because he suddenly looked wary.  Even I was a little confused with the strength of the emotions bubbling to the surface.

"I'm sorry.  I just had a moment of very strong self pity and anger."  I apologized.  It wasn't exactly a lie.  I looked away.  Deceiving Alexandre wasn't something I was proud of.  I just didn't want him to stop me, whatever I decided to do.

"Give me a few moments to prepare a few things and we shall leave."  Alexandre said softly.  I nodded without looking at him and heard the light rustle of his clothes as he got up and left the room.  I sighed and lay back on the floor.  I wasn't exactly lying to him, but I was manipulating him.  That I couldn't deny to myself.  What would he say if he found out I only wanted to go to the place I died so I could look for a trace of my murderer?  Any clue, a button, a thread, a hair, a smell.  Maybe the IV port would have a trace of her scent if Alexandre had tossed it aside.  Maybe I could follow the trail to a different location, or at least get an idea of a direction I should go when Alexandre wasn't around.  Maybe I could find surveillance, or a witness...  Well, Alexandre was sort of a witness.  How could I ask him what he remembered without sounding like I was interested in the killer more than trying to bring closure to my own death?

"Carys?"  A soft call at the library door made me start.  I sat up and looked at Alexandre with my mouth open.

"What?"  He asked confused.

"That's the first time you've ever used my name."  I replied.  He blushed.

"Ah..."  Alexandre stammered.

"Aha!  So vampires CAN blush!"  I crowed triumphantly and Alexandre's blush deepened.  I got up.

"Honestly though, I thought you'd forgotten my name, which is why you called me 'child' all the time.  I was waiting for you to turn to me one day and say 'I'm sorry, I've quite forgotten your name child, it sometimes happens in people my age you see, the memory slips, could you perhaps remind me again.'..."  I mimicked him pompously as I walked towards him.  He turned on a heel and left the room.  I followed after him, cackling.

"Keep that up and I will leave you here."  Alexandre said stiffly.

"Well that would make no sense at all.  Why would you need to go visit the place I died without me?"  I pointed out, catching up to him, but staying behind Alexandre so I could enjoy his body language.  Sure enough, his shoulder stiffened and his fists clenched and then he shook his head in defeat.

"Regretting turning me yet?"  I asked.

"Yes."  He replied, but turned quickly and wrapped me in a hug with a small smile on his face so I could see he didn't mean it.  Together we walked out of his house with his hand still on the small of my back as if he was a nobleman escorting his lady.

I don't do cars, but I could tell it was expensive.  Of course it was.  I rolled my eyes.

"Name five things you own that aren't worth more than my life."  I grumbled under my breath towards Alexandre.  He laughed.  Goddamn vampire hearing, ugh!  He opened my car door for me and made sure I was seated and buckled in before shutting the door and crossing to the driver's side.

"Carys, look at me."  The sire bond command ran undercurrent to the demand as he leaned in through the driver's door.  My head snapped around involuntarily and my gaze locked with his.  He touched my cheek gently.  "There is not a single thing I own that is worth more than your life, nor that I wouldn't happily trade for your life at any time."  Alexandre said seriously and intently.  I flinched as Alexandre broke the stare and removed his hand.  I was at once uncomfortable, doubtful and somehow extremely pleased at the same time.  The swirl of emotions made the car ride very quiet as we drove out of the small town.

About thirty minutes into the trip I opened my mouth to ask how much further, but Alexandre must have anticipated the question, because he replied before I could complete it.

"Not much further."  He said without looking at me.  Damn, how did he do that?

"May I ask what you were doing so far from home?  You know what, never mind, it's really none of of my business."  I felt like I was trying too hard to make myself appear less awkward.

"On the contrary, it's a valid question.  You may have noticed our home sits in a very tiny town, which is how I like it-less prying eyes."  I blinked-he called it 'our' home.  "But my taste for..ah..more extravagant things..requires a larger city to access the resources necessary.  Additionally, when I do desire live feedings or have run out of home delivery,"  He grinned to himself "Feeding so close to home in such a small area can become quite dangerous, start attracting attention.  A fact I know you've already picked up on, since you continue to increase your range."  Alexandre spared me a brief glance.

"Ah."  I said, looking at my hands in my lap.  I didn't want to tell him I was selfishly motivated, searching for the place that I was murdered, and that was the only reason I was venturing further and further out.  Then another thought occurred to me.

"Wait a minute!  You've been following me?"  I asked aghast.  Alexandre shrugged.

"You are my responsibility.  I shadowed you for a while to be sure you would hunt safely and be safe, and then followed up afterwards occasionally to ensure you were still being cautious and had run into no troubles.  It's not that I don't trust you, I'm just trying to be a responsible sire, as my sire was not."  Alexandre explained.

"Well alright, now that you guilted me with the whole abandonment issues thing, I guess I have to begrudgingly forgive you.  BEGRUDGINGLY.  Listen, if you want to keep an eye on me, just come with me, don't sneak around like some pervert who likes to watch from the shadows."  I said crossing my arms.  Alexandre's mouth fell open.

"Pervert?  That likes to...  Child!  I should pull this car over right now and use the bond to make you apologize until your tongue falls out!  Listen here, young vampire-I had to see how you would do on your own.  Not when you had me looking over your shoulder to keep you in check.  Also, I am not the pervert who like to watch.  I am very much the one in action."  Growled Alexandre.  I tried to hold back a snicker.

"Oh boy, did that sound 50 shades of wrong."  I chortled.

"Child, do not think that just because I am from a different time period I do not understand your pop culture references.  I do love to read, and have a vast range of interests."  Alexandre replied.  It was my turn for my mouth to drop open.