In Dreams: Bleed Out

Best Laid Plans

"I don't know Carys, I really don't.  But we've seen she grows as a normal child does, and we have to assume that, to a certain extent, that can only mean good things."  He paused for a moment.  "Are you regretting the decision to go through with the pregnancy?"  He asked quietly.

"Yes."  I sighed and saw him nod.  "And no."  I gripped the little mound with both hands and Alexandre's head whipped around briefly with a complicated mix of emotions playing over his face.  I sighed

"As time has gone on, I've started to look forward to her arrival a little more.  Your enthusiasm is rubbing off on me, I guess you could say."  I laughed  "But it's more than that...  She's a part of you and I would die to protect you, so it only follows that I would die to protect this part of you too."  I explained softly.  "Plus, I think my hormones are really kicking my ass right now."  I joked and saw Alexandre wipe at the corner of his eye discreetly.

Alexandre stopped the car before dawn to dig out sunglasses.  I offered to drive, but he shook his head grimly.

"I'll rest later, I told you before I don't require as much sleep anymore.  You sleep, we still have two states to drive through.  I'll wake you when we reach a hotel to stop at for the day so we can get better rest.  I just want to get as far as we can as fast as we can."  Alexandre said.

"Just don't underestimate the urgency of a pregnant woman's bladder."  I warned and Alexandre chuckled.

"Understood."  He replied and leaned across the car to give me a gentle kiss before starting the engine again.  I allowed myself to drift while the sun climbed higher in the sky, then its warmth got to me and I began to struggle out of my jacket.  Alexandre helped the best he could, snagging a sleeve in an effort to help me pull free, but the jacket was all tangled in the seat belt and purse strap, and the more frustrated I got with the thing trapping me, the harder he tried to hide a grin.

"Don't think I don't see you smiling over there mister!"  I panted, finally pulling the jacket off me.

"It's not an octopus Carys, why were you having so much trouble with it?"  He smiled.

"Hormones."  I grumbled and then turned to ignore him.

"Ah Carys, don't be cross with me."  Alexandre teased.  I made a noise in my throat and continued to purposefully avoid looking at him.

"Come on now love, it'll be an awfully long drive with you acting like that."  Alexandre continued to tease.  I felt his hand on my knee and shook it off.  He chuckled, but it was back in a second, inching upward and inward.  I growled low in my throat at him and he laughed and the baby jumped at the same time.

"I'll pull this car over, don't make me do it Carys."  He threatened lightheartedly.

"No you won't."  I replied promptly, but the words were no sooner out of my mouth than he pulled off the road and had leaned across the seat, tugging my face to look at his.

"There's my beautiful girl."  The very scent of him so close started my heart racing.  It didn't help that one or both of us always started to smell of arousal when we were this near to each other.  He kissed me gently, which caused me to nearly attack him right there in the seat.  He pushed me back gently to steady us both.  I was panting.

"Hormones."  I used the excuse again with a shrug.  Alexandre's eyes twinkled, but he kissed me once more, gently.

"Are you still mad with me?"  He asked softly against my lips.

"Uhhh"  I hesitated so he kissed me again.

"Now?"  He asked.

"Uh-uh"  I replied, shaking my head.  He brushed my lips with his once more and leaned back into his seat with a small smile, then pulled back onto to he road.  "Wait, what would have happened if I'd said yes?"  I asked.

"I would have had to keep trying to convince you."  Alexandre answered.

"Like the way you were just now?"  I questioned.

"Or more insistently, if necessary."  He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Damnit!"  I exclaimed, crossing my arms and dropping back in my seat.  Alexandre laughed the full laugh I loved and I felt a smile tugging at my lips in response.

Sometime after noon he began to yawn and I insisted he pull over and find a place to rest, or at least let me drive.  Unwilling to waste time, he traded places with me, telling me to follow the highway until we reached the next state, or until I got tired, whichever came first.  I nodded my agreement and off we went.  Alexandre swiftly fell asleep in the passenger's seat, and I couldn't resist tousling his soft curls.  He hummed appreciatively and I smiled.

At one of the many stops we made, Alexandre added ice to the cooler.  He was going to throw the remaining ice chips away, but I snagged a few, moaning in relief as the ice melted on my neck and in my mouth.  He looked at me strangely and I shrugged.

"Pregnancy."  I replied, patting my stomach.  He chuckled and gave me the rest of the ice and I sucked on ice chips and let them melt around my face and neck most of the next hour on the road.

"You want some blood?"  Alexandre asked me after watching me stuff the 20th ice chip in my mouth.

"No, I'm not hungry, just kinda hot, and it's like having a popsicle on a hot day when you're a kid.  Oh-did you have that?"  I glanced briefly at him.

"No we did not, but we did have ice cream, although that was a rare treat.  I don't really remember the flavor anymore, but I know I enjoyed it then.  It's not the same after you're turned."  Alexandre sounded wistful.  I reached across and took his hand.  I couldn't even imagine the history he had seen and lived.

"Alexandre Rivers, if we weren't in a car, I would pull you into my arms right now and kiss you silly.  And maybe more than that."  I remarked.

"Maybe we should get a room."  He suggested, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Fiend.  I'm definitely rubbing off on you."  I accused.

"Where you're concerned, always."  Alexandre responded, kissing my fingers.  Soon the car was silent again as Alexandre drifted to sleep.

"Just me and you babe."  I said to the bump at my waist and out of boredom, I started humming church hymns I had learned in my childhood when my parents had dragged me to church twice a week.  Then I realized I should really be digging through my memories for old lullabies.  With a start, I realized I couldn't remember any.

"Why'd you stop?"  Murmured Alexandre.

"I realized I couldn't remember any lullabies."  I replied in a whisper.

"Pregnancy brain."  He teased lightly, but I looked at him with fear.

"It's not just that.  Most children grow up to remember their mother signing to them or at least another sibling..."  I responded and Alexandre winced.  "But all I got was church hymns.  On cassette even!"  I laughed bitterly.  "Was my childhood truly that screwed up?"

"A lot of mothers don't sing to their children Carys.  Church hymns are not so bad."  Alexandre offered.

"You don't get it!"  I slammed my hand on the steering wheel.  "They-he-used that church to control us.  All this time later, I can remember every goddamn word of every goddamn one of those songs, but not even one lullaby for my own daughter?"  I was crying so hard I had to pull off the road, much to the consternation of the drivers behind us.  The baby rolled and kicked at me to voice her complaints as well.  Alexandre came around to the driver's side of the car and pulled me out and into his arms, then sat us in the back, me on his lap.

"I'll never escape him, will I?"  I sighed.

"A little at a time.  But it's up to you to do so."  Alexandre murmured against my neck.

"I don't know how."  I whispered and Alexandre held on tighter, burying his face in the crook of my neck.  I turned to face him and allowed myself to break down in front of him, relying on him completely for a change.  I clung to him desperately as I sobbed and he gently rubbed my back as I cried.

Alexandre decided to take over driving from that point, insisting I lay down in the back and sleep.  I argued at first, but the truth was the tears had exhausted me.  I curled up, letting the car rock me gently until I drifted off.

"Carys, wake up."  Alexandre's voice broke into my dreams.  I jerked awake and sat up abruptly, causing the little mound's contents to wiggle in protest.  "I've got to stop love, I'm exhausted.  Do you think you can take over, or should I get a room somewhere so we can both rest?"

"How close are we?"  My brain felt disconnected, even though my voice came out clear, it was like I was thinking through a tunnel.  It was late afternoon again, the sun was just setting.  

"Close, very close.  Just another couple of hours.  That's why I've woken you.  I don't want her scent to go cold, but I really can't go on any further like this.  You could drive, but if we cross her trail on the way in, it would put us behind.  What do you want to do love?"  Alexandre slowed the car while the thoughts tumbled in my brain in a scramble.  On the one hand, I didn't know how long it had been since she had been here, on the other, I didn't want to slow us down by driving past her trail either  And then there was Alexandre....  I looked at him in the rear-view mirror, noting the dark circles under his eyes.  He was sacrificing his health for me, and if something happened to him because I pushed him too hard, I'd never forgive myself.

"Find a place to stop."  I said with determination and Alexandre nodded silently.  He pulled off at the next place advertising accommodations, though I know it normally wouldn't have been to his standards.  The woman behind the desk looked at my stomach pityingly when we came through the door.  When she totaled us up, she discounted the room.

"That's really not necessary."  Alexandre tried to object, but she shook her head at him, holding up a hand.

"Sir, I've been there, travelling while pregnant isn't fun.  I don't know how far you've come, or how far you've yet to go, but the car ride itself is Hell, the beds are all Hell, the frequent stops because the baby bouncing on your bladder is Hell, the food is Hell, everything's uncomfortable, ugh."  She looked at me.  "Honey, do you want some extra pillows?"

"Yes please."  I groaned gratefully and she smiled conspiratorially.

"I'll have them sent around.  Room 103-I put you on the ground floor-less walking."  She winked.  Alexandre was looking back and forth between us incredulously and I took his arm, sharing her conspiratorial smile as she handed over the key and pointed us in the right direction.  Alexandre retrieved our belongings and we made our way down the hall.