In Dreams: Bleed Out

Life and Death

I left the house to vent some of my nervous energy.  I had been trying to acclimate to my new body's capabilities.  Although Alexandre had tried teaching me, I felt like it was similar to how I learned to ride a bike: you could show me the steps all you wanted, but I had to try it for myself to see what I could do.  I was still a bit clumsy with it, but I was hoping the more I practiced, the better I'd get.

I raced off towards my favorite place, a few miles down the road, where an old abandoned camping area had been permanently closed.  There were several abandoned buildings, some stone benches and cement picnic tables with the seats attached, all ridiculously bolted or poured into the ground like anyone would be able to move them anyway.  Beside the picnic area there was a staircase with an old metal pipe railing leading up to a small gathering of buildings, what I assume was once a restroom area and storage or ranger station of some sort.  All of the building were boarded up now, and there was the beginning of a trail leading out beyond them that had grown over with weeds.  The trees were large with high branches, which made me want to try to climb, but the pricey clothing kept me out of their sappy branches.  Overall, the assortment of features was like a vampire's playground, making it an interesting place to test myself.  It took some courage, but over time I went from racing up and over benches and tables to balancing on the thin edge of the bench backs and leaping from bench to bench that way.  Even quick healing abilities didn't prevent fear of breaking a bone.  I learned to make the leaps required to clear table after table.  I ran up the staircase to test my speed and agility, the railing tested my balance.  Eventually I had started climbing buildings using boarded up windows and jumping off low rooves.  I was desperate to try jumping from building to building soon, but eyeballing that drop had stopped me the last time.  Not gonna lie, there were a lot of falls, which made me a little more nervous to try the harder stuff.  Apparently ease of movement didn't come easily to all vampires.  Or at least didn't come easily to this one.  Maybe I just needed more practice.

Stretching my muscles, I took the stairs four at a time, and then slid down the rail on my feet.  I launched myself from the end as far as I could, racing towards the tables and jumped the first, second and then stopped dead on top of the third.  Standing in front of me was Alexandre, a slightly amused look on his face.

"So this is where you run off to when you're upset."  He said with a half smile.  I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Not just when I'm upset."  I said defensively.  Alexandre waved a hand, stepping down from the table soundlessly.  I plopped down on the edge of the picnic table, swinging my legs.

"So why'd you go all sneaky-vampire and follow me?"  I asked nonchalantly, but my face must have betrayed my embarrassment and annoyance because Alexandre laughed an honest and open laugh.

"Let's say it was unfettered curiosity, especially after our last conversation."  He replied and approached me.  "You know you are capable of much more than this paltry display of skills.  You just have to stop thinking about it so hard."  And with that, he snarled and lunged at me with the dangerous expression that always set off the alarm bells in my head.  I jerked and was on the other side of the table before I realized I had even moved.  My heart-rate, which was too slow to measure these days, was suddenly pounding in my chest.  I clutched at it in surprise.

"Oh, I can hear your heart!  You always want to act like I don't scare you, that this new life of yours doesn't scare you.  Hiding behind your jokes and teasing, but I can smell your fear, and now even your heart betrays you."  Alexandre advanced on me.

"You refuse to accept your new reality and reject your own nature, ignoring it, pretending none of this is real, that it's just some silly dream.  Thus, you reject yourself and by not accepting who you now are, you cannot access those very simple aspects of you new personality: your new physical abilities and limitations, your new 'normal'.  You will never succeed if you are always at war with yourself."  Alexandre was pacing carefully around the table towards me.  I was keeping pace, trying to keep the table between us.  In what seemed like two steps, he leapt over the table and me, landing behind me.  I yelped and threw myself under the table in a panic, but Alexandre grabbed me by the leg and yanked me out.  I kicked at him and barely managed to free myself from his vice-like grip.  Flipping myself back onto my feet in a way I would have thought impossible before, I bolted for one of the buildings, which I was pretty sure had been a restroom.  Despite my speed, Alexandre was still faster.

He slammed me against the wall.  I ducked, trying to wriggle from his grasp, and he spun me around and went for my throat with his teeth.  I bashed him in the face with my forehead, earning myself a dizzy headache for a second, but thanks to increased healing, it quickly faded.  I had bloodied Alexandre's ear, and his grip briefly loosened, allowing me to pull free.  I clambered up the side of the building using my fingers and the toes of my shoes.  Swinging myself onto the roof, I crouched and looked back down where Alexandre had been.  HAD BEEN.  He was now gone.  In a panic, I stood up and looked over all the edges of the roof for him.  He had disappeared.

I felt like a fisherman being circled by sharks on a sinking boat in a horror film.  My mind raced, trying to come up with my next move.  How did I get out of here?  If I bolted, I would be in the open, and he was faster than me, he would definitely catch up.  Abruptly I was grabbed from behind and the ground tilted towards me as I tried to break free.

"Alexandre!"  I screeched in fear, watching the ground race towards my face.  I put out my hands to try to stop myself, but was rotated and pulled upright in a dead stop by Alexandre himself.  He tugged me towards himself and leaned in closely.

"You've got to learn to stop fighting yourself."  He said, no trace of the scary creature left in his face.  I stepped back and wrapped my arms around my torso.  Alexandre let me go.

"Nice monologue."  I replied weakly, still stepping backwards.  I was thinking of bolting, but I wasn't sure where to go.  In the instant I turned to run, Alexandre appeared in front of me again, barring my exit.  He lightly gripped my shoulders, his expression gentle and concerned.

"I told you I would never hurt you."  He declared softly.  Tears stung my eyes and I looked down to hide them.  Alexandre unexpectedly pulled me into a tight hug.  "I feel as if I've gone too far.  I just needed to get your adrenaline up a bit so you could see what you could do.  You've been convincing yourself you weren't able for so long!  I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!  I didn't mean to frighten you this badly.  What has happened to you in your past life to affect you so?"  I tried to tug free a couple of times, but by the time Alexandre had finished his apology, I had given up and was sobbing uncontrollably.  Alexandre pulled back and looked at me bewildered.  Then his face registered understanding and set into a hard stare.

"Child...  were you abused in your past life?"  He asked solemnly, and the sobs wracking my frame became harder, causing me to lose the strength in my knees and start sinking to the ground.  Alexandre scooped me up like an infant and held me against his chest while he raced back towards home.  Part of me registered again how freaking strong the guy was, but he held me gently, as if afraid I might break.