In Dreams: Bleed Out

Alone

Loud crashing pulled me from my dreams.  I was on my feet, teeth bared before I was even fully awake.  Someone had shut my door, though I knew for a fact I had left it partially open.  Old habits die hard, and that learned fight or flight behavior is really hard to kill.  There was a scattering of hushed voices, one of them stern, it sounded like Alexandre.  I walked to the door and opened it curiously, from here I could tell the noise was coming from below in the ballroom.  Stepping to the railing, I looked over the banister where a crew of workmen was clearing up the debris on the ballroom floor while even more were taking measurements for repairs.  I watched as Alexandre discussed with one briefly before his nostrils flared and he glanced in my direction.  He smiled briefly at me, then looked questioningly at my outfit.  I shrugged and plopped down on the walkway floor to watch the progress for a bit.  Maybe the scurry of activity would lull me back to sleep or at least keep me entertained for a while.  At some point, Alexandre appeared beside me.

"I apologize, I forgot to tell you the repair crew was scheduled to arrive today.  Carys, why don't you go back to sleep, if you'll pardon me, you look like death,  I've asked them to be as quiet as possible.  Aren't you sleeping well lately?"  Alexandre laid a hand on my forehead lightly.  I thought of the nightmare filled sleep and the nurse's delighted laugh.

"Eh, not really, and with the noise..."  I gestured at the scurrying crowd.

"We'll remedy that then, come with me."  Alexandre demanded, offering a hand.  I groaned but let him help me up.  He didn't stop there, but scooped me all the way into his arms, earning himself some cheers and whistles from the crew below.

"First-my ass better not be hanging out!"  I hissed menacingly at him.  "Second, how are you even so refreshed?!  Like have you even slept?  Weren't you up all night and now this?"  I waved a hand behind him, knowing he couldn't see, but I think he got the point.  "If you're going to make me sleep-shouldn't I be demanding you do too?"

"If it makes you feel any better, once you get to my age, you require a little less.  But if it will convince you to stay put, I promise to try to get some rest."  Alexandre replied.  "And no, your buttocks is not hanging out."  I gasped in mock outrage and then laughed.  Alexandre's phrasing was adorably antiquated.  To my surprise, he carried me into his room.

"Getting some mixed messages here, you carrying me bridal style into your bedroom like this."  I informed Alexandre with a hint of teasing in my voice.

"Don't offer what you're not willing to give, Carys."  Alexandre replied with a light growl and placed me on the bed with a harder than necessary thunk.

"Are you sure you're not tired?  Jeez."  I pouted, rubbing my butt cheek pitifully as Alexandre disappeared into his closet.  I heard a sigh.

"Maybe I'm just getting tired of you leading me on."  Alexandre responded softly.  I winced.  It was almost a sad sigh, and it did tug at my heart.  When Alexandre came out of his closet, dressed once again in an old fashioned dressing set, he sat on the bed next to me quietly and I immediately took his hand.

"I know that what I'm doing seems-is cruel.  To both of us.  And I appreciate that you're willing to fight for me.  I'm just still so lost and what happens if the person I find isn't anyone you could love, or worse, who could love you?"  I asked him, twining my fingers with his.

"Then we will deal with that when the time comes.  Carys, as I have told you, I am not a patient man, and your delay in even answering me, coupled with your constant teasing is the most unbearable torment."  Alexandre's face was twisted into a look of almost childish whining.  I couldn't help but giggle as I realized suddenly two very important things.

1)  It had been a very long time since he'd had to wait for anything.

2)  I had a certain amount of power over him because it was tormenting him that I was withholding my answer.

Alexandre looked at me askance.

"Why are you giggling?  I'm baring my soul to you, and this is your reaction?"  He demanded.  It just made the giggles worse.  "Carys, I demand to know the meaning of this, this outrageous behavior..."  He frowned petulantly.  Trying to stop the giggles, I bit my lip so hard that it bled.  It immediately drew Alexandre's gaze, like any good vampire.  He leaned closer and I put a hand on his chest.

"Woah boy."  I said with a giggle.  "I was laughing because I realized you're like a little spoiled child who's been refused a toy.  Was it rude of me to laugh?  Yes.  Will I apologize for it?  Probably not."  Alexandre's eyes snapped to mine and his expression ranged from anger to sadness.  I licked the blood off my newly healed lip and leaned in close to Alexandre.

"Because, I realized it gives me leverage."  I whispered and kissed him on the cheek with a giggle.  Alexandre looked dumbfounded for a moment and then his expression cleared.

"Now wait just one minute Carys!  Now that is really CRUEL!"  Alexandre exclaimed, lunging for me as I fled on hands and knees across the bed.

"Wait-so it wasn't before when I wasn't using it to my advantage?"  I asked, dodging as he dashed around the bed.

"I didn't say that!  Maybe?"  He grabbed for me and I ducked under his arm.  "It was less cruel than now that you are?"  I cackled, jumping across his bed and using a bedpost to swing around to the foot of the bed.

"So wait-if a girl won't say she'll date you, because she doesn't want to hurt you, 'cuz she doesn't know how she really feels..."  I panted and jumped back up on the bed as he rounded the corner.  "It's cruel...  But it's also cruel if she uses the knowledge that that bothers you to her advantage..."  I jogged backwards on the bed, trying to keep out of Alexandre's reach as he murmured an agreement.

"But she's twice as cruel if she agrees to date you and breaks your heart in the end, because she doesn't love you.  Did I miss anything?"  I asked and squealed as he grabbed my ankle and I fell to the bed.  Alexandre pulled me towards him into a tight embrace and hummed softly into my hair and then was silent for a beat or two.

"I believe, Carys, that is a trick question."  He informed me, and giggling, I fell asleep in the warm comfort of his arms.  The last thing I was aware of was a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

Whenever Alexandre was near me, I didn't have nightmares, so I knew I must be alone when I heard my killer's voice echoing in my head.

"What a pity...the others lasted longer..."

I jerked awake and sat up, gasping for breath and clutching the crook of my arm.  I didn't want to be 'that girl' but I felt like a toddler who needed her security blanket or teddy bear at that moment.  I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered.

"Alexandre?"  I called quietly, then reminded myself that the house was huge, and he might be on the other side with repairmen, so more volume might be needed.

"Alexandre?"  I called louder.  There was no reply.  It was impossible to tell the time in Alexandre's room.  To say he had adjusted to his vampire lifestyle well would be an understatement.  The room was dark, no clock, no lights on, door closed.  It would have been disorienting if it wasn't for my enhanced senses.  Alexandre must have covered me up, but the house had chilled down a little, which was immediately noticeable when I reached the hall.  I called Alexandre's name a few more times and still heard no reply.

Getting worried, I checked the library, calling his name, then it finally clicked I had other senses too, and realized he hadn't been in here, today at least.  I followed his most recent trail to the ballroom and, still calling his name, noticed the ballroom was completely deserted and seemed like it had been for a while.  The workmen had gotten quite far into the repairs, I admired the fact that they had put up a temporary railing in the meantime, though it wasn't really necessary.

Alexandre's trail led outside, I opened the ballroom door nearest me and stepped out into a short entrance way leading to another set of double doors.  I opened the next door onto a storm that battled the door back into my face, vampire strength and all.  The rain and wind and eradicated any trace of Alexandre's scent and I was beginning to worry about how long he'd been gone.  I wasn't as good with the tracking thing as Alexandre was.  He'd been teaching me, but being stuck indoors limited our 'test subjects', and I was having trouble nailing down the aging of scents.  I mean, all vampire instinct needed you to know was the fresher the smell, the closer the target.  It's not as important how many hours ago they passed through necessarily, when you can run forty plus miles an hour, you're probably gonna catch up if the smell is pretty fresh, because vampire speed, you know?  Alexandre kept telling me with age and experience came recognition of a more approximate time, but I was impatient, and this was why.

I was starting to panic.  It smelled like Alexandre had been gone six hours?  Maybe even more?  I wasn't good at this, damn it!  Then I had a thought: maybe he left a note or something.  I raced back to his bedroom and began to search.  Nothing.  I had told Alexandre I didn't need a cellphone after my transition, now I was regretting that decision.  His office had a phone!  I ran to the office, and realized I didn't know Alexandre's cell number.  Damn it!  No notes here either.  Maybe in my room?  I fled to my bedroom and searched desperately, but there was not even a recent scent of him there.  I sat on the bed, trying not to panic.  We had never covered what to do if Alexandre never returned.  Do I return to my old life?  Go into witness protection?  Wander the world as some homeless vampire?

I ran back to Alexandre's room in a frenzy.  He had to be ok, right?  He was a vampire, and he'd already lived over a century.  He was always thinking ahead of everybody, he'd be alright.  Some silly storm couldn't wipe him out, and there's no reason for those cops to have arrested him or anything right?  I hesitated in the doorway, unsure what to do.  For a moment I just stood there, frozen.  Hopelessly, I grabbed a blanket from the bed and wrapped it around me like one of Alexandre's hugs.  His comforting old parchment and floral smell surrounded me as I sunk onto his bed, trying to fight off the anxiety trying to eat me alive.