Chasing My Luna

7

REBECCA

A few hours later, I found myself on a plane headed to New York with Ravi and Wayne. I there had been no way to dissuade them.

We're not leaving you to fend for yourself in some cheap motel or serving sandwiches at a diner with jerks groping you, they'd said. Not when we have a spare room at our place that we don't know what to do with and, coincidentally, a friend in need who could use it.

They hadn't even wanted to hear about rent, as soon as I'd dared to utter the word, they'd shot me a look that could kill. That didn't mean I wouldn't repay them for their generosity. I wasn't going to take advantage of them and live off their backs with my kids. I would find a job to support myself and the children, and as soon as I could, I would look for a place my pups and I could call our own.

At least it would be easier to find work in New York than in Astoria. A big city was always full of opportunities if you worked hard enough to find them. And I would have to work hard.

I slumped in my seat on their plane. While Wayne could rely on his clients for transportation, Ravi didn't have that "luxury." With the business he had now, he'd done the math and realized that, in the long run, he would save time and money with a small plane of his own instead of buying tickets over and over again, and the benefits of air miles weren't worth the hassle.

Goddess, I was so tired. I'd stayed with Wayne and Ravi up until 11 PM, and then I'd dragged myself to my bedroom, where eventually, fatigue and exhaustion had gotten the better of me. That night's sleep, though, had been anything but restful. I had awakened several times throughout the night, sometimes from nightmares of Reiner and Sheila taking my babies away from me, sometimes convinced that it was all a nightmare and that my husband was right there beside me... and others simply from thunder. And at one point, in the middle of the night, caught up in the despair and pain of missing Reiner, I had written him a letter. I knew he would never read it, because I would never send it, but it had helped me in just letting out all that pain.

The result? I was wrecked and even more tired than the day before, with a few dollars in my pocket and two babies in my womb, but at least I had two friends who were gonna help me get back on my feet.

At least that was good. And the pregnancy was also good.

But the happiness of knowing I'd soon be a mom didn't really help ease the pain of having lost my husband or my family. Nor it made me stop seeing the evil grin on Asshole Five's face as he tried to push me down the cliff.

Fuck, I sighed, digging into my lunch. Delicious spaghetti with tomato sauce, topped with basil, parmesan, and confit cherry tomatoes, accompanied by a delicious garlic bread. Not as good as Reiner's, though. The thought inevitably saddened me. The garlic bread was Reiner's specialty, as well as a favorite of both of us, and he had made it the night he'd asked me to marry him.

"Well, well, well, darling." Wayne smiled broadly, putting an arm around my shoulders. "We need to plan this afternoon. I mean, I already planned it, you just gotta roll with it. Yes, Ravi, you too."

Ravi chuckled, shaking his head, his eyes shining bright and full of love for his mate. A strange mixture of envy and happiness filled me.

"Okay. Shoot." He sighed.

"Shopping!" Wayne exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. I opened my mouth to say something, but he raised a finger, moving it in a clear no. "Before you say anything, you can't refuse. Not only because your wardrobe is frighteningly empty but also because I need this outing. It's been years since we went shopping together, just you and I... and I must say, my style has suffered. There's a very important party tomorrow night, and I must look my best."

Ravi looked at him with feigned offense. "Are you saying my fashion advice isn't up to par, darling?"

"No offense, but you don't have... her eye." Wayne chuckled. "Ah, and of course, you're coming too." He added.

"Where?"

"To the party!" he exclaimed. "I can't miss it, and there's no way I'm leaving you alone at home like a sad puppy. Plus, it'll be a fantastic opportunity to introduce you to New York's werewolf society. Connections are everything in this city, and if you want to live well, you'll need them."

I smiled, feeling my heart warm at the affection my friends were showering me with. Accentuating their usual exuberance to keep me cheerful, they were doing everything they could to help me get back on my feet—not just economically but also physically and emotionally.

"Wayne, she's pregnant." Ravi intervened. "Maybe she prefers to rest. There's a party every other day anyway."

But I shook my head. "If I don't feel well, I'll skip it. But... I think it'd do me good to distract myself and not be alone."

Even though the idea of going to a party in my current mood and while in my first trimester wasn't exactly enticing, I'd never refuse that invitation, because it came from the heart.

And besides, it was true. I did need a distraction. Being all alone in a strange house on the other side of the country from the one I'd been forced to leave would be s**t, and I knew I'd end up crying under the covers all night, like the night before.

"So many people in New York are like us." Ravi added. "Even – and especially – in high society. Mainly Rogues, both by choice and by accident. It's a beautiful community, once you abandon hierarchies, all that's left are people ready to help each other."

"It sounds wonderful." I murmured. My thoughts immediately went to the pups inside me. I'd been afraid they'd grow up without knowing what it was like to live in a pack, as is natural for our kind, but maybe... maybe it wouldn't be like that. And if this "pack" in New York wasn't a rigid hierarchical ladder with an Alpha, a Beta, and the rest of the alphabet... maybe it would be even better than their birth pack. Maybe it would even teach them more things.

Ravi smiled. "Oh, trust me – it is."

REINER

This was the last one, I thought as I set down the last box full of my stuff in my new room.

I knew I couldn't stay in the one I'd shared with Becks until the day before. When I walked in the night before, after she'd left, the pain and memories had been devastating. Her scent, sweet and warm, still lingered in the air. For a moment, I thought I saw her there, curled up in the armchair by the fireplace, smiling and content—although it had been rare to see her like that in recent weeks.

A blink of an eye, and that daydream had shattered. Suddenly, I was back in an empty room, alone and heartbroken - and unable to tear my eyes off the bed, where I could almost see her... her, and that man.

In a hurry, unable to stand being in that room for another second, I'd grabbed a change of clothes and my toothbrush and went to the one next door, where I'd spent the worst night of my life.

I couldn't stop thinking, just as I couldn't now. The burning and destructive anger I'd felt the day before had subsided, and now all that remained were the pain, doubts, and questions. It was undeniable that Becky and I had been hitting a rough patch lately... but not to the f*****g point of cheating and leaving me for good. Had I really been such a terrible mate? What had I done to make her resort to such an extreme act?

I'd spent the night weighing every possible answer. Reconsidering every argument, every wrongly spoken word after a tough day. I couldn't identify anything significant enough to justify her choice, especially since she had behaved the same way towards me, and it had never crossed my mind to give up on her, on our marriage, on our hopes for the future.

Maybe you don't know her as well as you thought. A nagging voice inside me whispered.

That's not true, I growled. It's Becks, for the Goddess's sake, she's my mate. I know her.

Yet, she had done the one thing I'd never expected from her.

I knew I would never forget the moment when, the morning before, my mother had walked into my study with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, love..." She had whispered. "But... you need to know this from someone who cares about you, not from rumors."

And it all came out. Apparently, Becca had been seeing someone else for a while, and she had decided to leave me for him. She didn't really have business meetings that morning. She had taken her car, some of her stuff and simply left, leaving only signed divorce papers and a dry note on the bed: "I don't love you anymore. I have someone else, and I'm leaving you for him. Don't look for me. Goodbye."

My mother had found them shortly after she had left, having gone into our room to ask her something about the party we were to hold in a few days.

"I don't believe it." I had said. It was impossible, those weren't words from my Becky. It could be her handwriting, but it wasn't her. "I don't believe it, and I never will. I'm going to look for her."

"Sweetheart, no." My mother had insisted. "Baby, I can't see you suffer anymore. She's gone..."

"I told you I don't believe it!"

My mother had sighed. "Sweetheart, please... believe me, I wish this wasn't true, I wish I didn't have to give you this pain, but... There's... there's a video. A recording that proves... what she says in the note."

Something broke inside me at those words. A note was one thing, but a video...

And it was her. The woman in the video was riding another man in our bed. It was my mate. It was her face, her body, her voice.

It was true, it was all true.

Exhausted, I collapsed onto the bed and looked around that sterile and impersonal room - a room that held no memories, a room that had no soul or meaning.

It's all true. It's really over.

I had spent the best years of my life with Becky. And now, she was gone.

She had left, crushing my heart and hopes and our life together as if they'd never really mattered.

I felt the anger and pain start to boil up in me again.

I need to get out.

"Sweetie! Love, what's wrong?"

I felt my mother's hand wrap around my wrist, but I shook it off.

"Stop acting all sad." I snarled. "I know you never liked Becky. You'll be happy as a clam now that she's gone."

She stood there with her mouth open, as if unable to believe that I had really just talked to her like that, but I was really tired of her behavior. At least most of the pack avoided me, but she kept buzzing around me like a damn mosquito. Didn't she understand that maybe, at that moment, I didn't want her around?!

I left her in the middle of the hallway and walked out of the pack house, shifting halfway down the driveway: from there, I abandoned myself to the run, without a direction or a specific destination in mind.

And in that run, I let all my tears flow freely.