Carson's Conquest

4. Adde

The drive to the hotel wasn’t as awkward as I was expecting. The conversation was light and easy. I quickly discovered that Carson had a wicked sense of humor and he had me giggling within minutes. He was attractive and funny! What a dreamboat. As he dropped me off, I almost said something, but I just couldn’t quite bring myself to say the words. When he softly squeezed my hand, it was the most comfort I had felt in a long, long time. With my history, I was surprised that I didn’t flinch at his touch. I decided not to dwell on that fact.

The dinner was actually really fun. But the thing that struck me most was the depth of the love and commitment between Aria and Xavier. Even though they teased each other a little, the mutual respect was clear. Plus, they could barely keep their hands off each other. They were like magnets drawn to each other—constantly brushing hands or touching legs or putting an arm around each other. I’m not going to lie, Xavier was an attractive man. I mean, he wasn’t nearly as attractive as Carson, but there was a certain appeal to him—if you liked the male model type. And he looked at Aria with a breathtaking devotion.

It almost made me want something like that for myself—with Carson. No! I had to stop thinking like that. There was no way Carson and I would ever be an item. There was too much baggage on my part—even if he could overcome my magic and I could overcome his “wolfie” abilities. I tried to avoid his advances during dinner. He was constantly trying to touch me, or put an arm around my shoulders, or rest his arm against mine. Plus, he was a total flirt, and funny. So funny. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much and actually enjoyed myself. There was just something about Carson that relaxed me and helped me feel … normal.

After dinner, Carson took me back to the hotel. It was now or never. We pulled into the hotel parking lot, “is there somewhere we can talk?” I asked.

Curiously, he looked over at me, “sure.” He pulled out of the parking lot and took me to the cutest little coffee shop. “Why are we here? It’s closed,” I asked.

“I’m a part owner and I have a key,” he smiled over at me.

We walked in, and Carson turned on a low light above the coffee bar, “Can I get you anything? Latte? Cappuccino?”

I smiled a little, “You’re a barista?”

Carson grinned, “Sometimes. I’m pretty good, actually. I’ve created a couple of drinks on the menu.”

“Really? Which ones?” I was so curious about him, and desperately trying to postpone the horrible conversation we were about to have.

“Wolf Tracks Latte and the Moonlight Mocha.”

I looked up at the menu, “Wow. The Moonlight Mocha sounds yummy. I’ll try it!”

“Coming right up,” he said as he stepped behind the counter. I just watched him as he made my drink, my eyes trailing down his magnificent physique. Goddess I was attracted to this man.

He looked up, definitely caught me checking him out, and smirked at me. I didn’t care. This wasn’t going to last, so I was going to soak it up while I could. Might was well get it over with.

“So, what’s your rank in the pack?” I casually threw out.

He looked up startled and dropped a spoon. “What do you mean?”

“C’mon … you’re going to claim that you don’t know exactly what I’m talking about? You have a drink named ‘Wolf Tracks.’” I pointed out.

“Is it that obvious?” Carson mused.

“No. Not to everyone. Just to me, probably. I have some ‘special’ skills.” I hedged, not wanting to reveal too much in case he couldn’t sense it.

“Ah, some real special, magical skills?” He looked at me as he passed my drink across the coffee bar.

“Something like that,” I shrugged.

Carson leaned forward, his forearms resting on the counter, and took a deep breath. “I’m the Gamma of the Emerald Woods pack. We protect this town and own several of the businesses. The southern end of our pack border bumps up against the town. Xavier is my Alpha and Aria is my Luna.”

“Ah. That makes sense. I thought I saw a mark on her neck during our interview, but I wasn’t sure. What else is Aria?” I asked curiously.

“You would have to ask her. I’m not at liberty to disclose.” He looked pained to be refusing me, but I understood. It was pack law to not disclose secrets of their members, generally punishable by death for betrayal.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position.”

“That’s ok.” He came around the counter and sat next to me, gently holding my hand. There was that captivating warmth again. “So, what kind of witch are you?”

“The non-practicing kind, I guess.” I replied with a bit of a grimace.

“Is there a reason why you’re not practicing?” he queried.

There it was, my opening. “Carson,” I looked up into his tempting brown eyes, “I know that I’m your mate. And you have to know this,” I gestured between us, “will never work. I … I’m damaged goods. The Moon Goddess is playing some sick joke on you. Trust me, you don’t want any part of me and my mess.”

I took a deep breath, “I, Addelina Lambert, witch of the Cedar Grove Circle, reject …”

Carson clamped his hand over my mouth, “Don’t! Don’t say it!” I saw the pain etched across his face, and felt my heart constrict in turn. No, this was definitely for the best. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t hurt another person in the wake of my personal hell.

He kept his hand over my mouth, “Adde, listen to me. Whatever it is, whatever your past, it doesn’t have to define your future. You don’t have to accept me as your mate today, tomorrow, or next month. But, please, please, let me be your friend. Don’t reject us yet—just give us some time. Give yourself some time to adjust to your life here, and to me. Please.”

I almost leapt out of my seat and flinched when he touched my face, it was instinct at this point. He quickly pulled his hand away, “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m just … I don’t like to be touched.”

“Ok. No touching. Promise.”

If I had the ability to cry anymore, I would have shed a tear at the sincerity that rang from Carson’s words. Instead, I laughed bitterly to myself. He had no idea from where I had come. Clearly, he was swept up in the magic of the bond. I knew it would hurt him, my rejection, but everything was fresh, and he would survive. The sooner the bond was broken, the higher the chance that both parties would survive the break. And I wanted him to survive and live a happy, full life. Even if it wasn’t with me—especially because it could never be me.

His hands were clenching his knees, his eyes pleading with me. I slowly nodded. “Fine. But you have to stay away from me. I’m no good for you.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“About what?”

“Whatever happened that makes you think you don’t deserve to be happy. Because you do deserve it, Adde. I don’t need a mate bond to know that you absolutely deserve love and happiness,” he said it with such conviction that I wanted to believe him.

I paused for a minute. Maybe, if I just hit the highlights and told him how bad it was, we could go through with the rejection and I could get on with my life. Carson could find a second-chance mate and live happily ever after.

I took a big breath, “Before, when I practiced magic, I had an unusual power. Not only can I sense the energy around me, but I can manipulate it, which sometimes includes manipulating the future. Not in a major way, just a decision here and there. My ex, he … he was a magic broker—basically, he doesn’t hold any power himself, he can just transfer it from person to person and gets a profit from the transfer. He took advantage of the power, my power, and sold it. The relationship was toxic, unhappy, and ended up abusive. I left and here I am.”

“Are you in danger?” Carson looked murderous. “I will protect you. The pack will protect you.”

“I don’t think so. I don’t have any power left for him to use and he’s too lazy to track down someone who can’t provide him with a profit.”

“How does it work, your magic and power?”

“It’s a little hard to explain. Basically, your energy is warm and powerful, if I was able to, I could take your power and make you do things that you normally do, just do them immediately as I shifted the energy. Things like get angry, shift, do what I want, whatever that is. If I was really tuned in, and you were say, trying to decide what to have for dinner, I could push your energy in a certain direction to make you pick pasta instead of fish, for example. It’s rare, so it’s valuable. Plus, you know all the normal magical stuff--manipulating electricity, creating potions, connecting with nature, moving objects with no contact, etc."

“You are so special,” Carson looked at me with such tenderness it warmed my soul, breathing more life onto the embers deep within.

I grabbed his hand, gave it a squeeze, and felt warm down to my toes, “Thank you for listening to me.”

He gave me a small smile, “I will listen to you anytime, seriously. But will you think about meeting with Xavier and sharing whatever part of your story you’re comfortable sharing or will you let me? I want to make sure you have the protection you need and you feel safe.”

“Will he care? I know some packs are wary of witches and I’m not interested in any drama.”

“We’re quite open minded as a pack. Xavier won’t care at all and I know he will appreciate the heads up and information—just in the off chance anything goes down.”

“I will think about it, promise.” I realized we were still holding hands. To be honest, I never wanted to let go. This night had not gone at all the way I thought, but it didn’t change my resolve.

“So,” Carson grinned at me, “we’re friends, right?”

“Sure, friends.” I agreed, only because I needed him to take me back to my hotel. I knew I would never be able to be friends with him. The bond would grow and I was in no condition—mentally, emotionally, physically, or magically, to be in any sort of relationship with a man. I came here to find healing and peace, and to hopefully bring my magic back to life. However, there was a small voice in the back of my head that held out hope, that maybe … just maybe, Carson would be part of that peace. The healing part, that was on me. But I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time.