15: Jealousy and promising pleasure
1076 Words
*Zara*
After the bath I put on my nightgown, thinking I should be going to bed. I feel so bad about everything right now, about Imad and that I feel I have let Dean down. So instead of heading to bed I wander out into the garden.
I walk slowly over the grass. Of course Dean isn't here waiting any longer. Before I realize it I am standing in front of his room. The lights are on in there. I stop, about to turn and walk back to my room. But once again I go against my instincts, knocking on his door.
"Zara ?" Dean opens the door only wearing his tight fitted boxers. He is clearly on his way to bed, the sight makes me blush and look down.
I don't know why I have gone to his room, I kind of feel a need to apologize. "Uhh sorry I didn't show up, I... Imad came to my room".
"It's okay darling… I saw him there". He is looking at the floor, but I can see the anger pulsing through him. He is clearly mad, is he angry with me ?
I pull slightly away, not sure what to do and the hard edge to his voice scare me. "Oh... I guess I better go back to my room then".
"Please stay, Zara. I am sorry if I seemed angry. I am not angry with you my dear. I am just frustrated that I couldn't protect you from him". His hands catch mine.
I look up at him and into his eyes. They are so gentle and warm, so caring. I instantly understand that he is angry with Imad, not me. I hate the idea of my husband touching me.
He softly pulls me into his arms and I feel a tingle of anticipation before his mouth is on mine. I have been waiting for this the entire day.
I snuggle into his hard body. He is warm and strong and he smells absolutely delicious. Without thinking my hand gently caresses his chest.
"What is it Zara ?" He asks softly and that's when I realize that I have started crying softly.
I just snuggle closer to him, soaking up his warmth. The feeling of hopelessness and dread is back and the disgust from Imads touches. But I can't tell him, it would be very wrong of me to speak ill of my husband, especially to another man. "It... I… It's nothing, really".
"Yeah, I am not buying that darling. You can tell me, you can trust me, I promise, it won't leave this room". He is gently stroking my hair as he speaks.
For some reason all this care and loving attention from him only makes me cry more. Suddenly I am swept up into his arms and he carries me to the bed, sitting down on the edge with me in his lap.
He is stroking my back ever so gently, whispering softly in my ear, until I start relaxing. I feel so safe in his arms, in a way I never felt before.
"Zara, you can tell me anything. I will never laugh at you or condemn you. Did Imad do anything to hurt you ?" He asks calmly.
I hide my face against his chest. "No, not really. He just wanted what he always wants, to try to get me pregnant. I don't like it".
"I am so sorry that it has to be like that darling. s*x is supposed to be a pleasure for the woman too". He says softly. “Not a chore”.
I can't help blushing when I hear him say it so bluntly. I hide my head against his shoulder. "I didn't know it could be, I mean nice for the woman. I was told I should just be happy if it didn't hurt too bad".
He is slowly shaking his head and his eyes lock into hers, he looks sad. "I am sorry to be so blunt, but have you really never felt any kind of pleasure when you are with your husband ?"
"No, in the beginning it hurt, now it is just not nice". I am biting my lip, knowing my cheeks are beet red. I don't know exactly what he means by pleasure, but it has never been nice or good in any way.
His hand is stroking my thigh, the feeling of his fingers, even through the nightgown makes my skin tingle. His voice is almost hypnotizing. "Zara, do you trust me ? Do you trust that I won't hurt you ?"
"Yes Dean... I do trust you". I don't know why, but I do. I kind of have to, I am placing my life in his hand already with the things we are doing and I know he will protect me.
He kisses me softly, in that special way that takes my breath away. Then he whispers against my lips. "Please let me show you how pleasurable life can be".
I stop breathing for a second, looking up at him. I am a bit unsure what it is he wants to do. "Pleasurable ?"
"Don't worry darling, I am not going to have s*x with you, not tonight. I just want to ... make you feel good". His voice is soft and alluring.
"Okay then". I say, knowing I sound a bit hesitant still. Will Imad know ? Will he be able to see that another man has touched me ? "If no one will know".
He sends me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I promise you that no one will know darling. Only you and me".
"Our secret". I breathe out slowly. I do want this, I want to make him happy and I want to be with him.
"Can I see you darling ?". His eyes are slowly wandering over me and I know what he wants. I slowly stand up and pull off my nightgown, revealing my naked body underneath.
A little gasp escapes him when he sees me, his eyes caressing every inch of bare skin, making me blush again. But it doesn't feel uncomfortable, I actually feel beautiful. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world Zara and you deserve only good".
"Thank you, even though I don't believe you". I say softly and look up to meet his eyes. He holds out his hand, reaching for me and I go to him.
- Writer
