Curvy Desires

Chapter 5

Kevi

For the rest of the day since the visit from the Koures siblings I’ve been distracted. It’s a good thing I had no other appointments after they left because I could hardly focus. I left most of the customers who wandered in to Delia my shop assistant who worked part time because she was in college.

She was in her final year and was majoring in fashion designing so she was a great employee to have. For lunch the four of us met at Carmen’s office then the issue of the Koures siblings visit came up. I would have remained calm until Carmen started talking about how hot Aristide was but he was just not for her. Delia asked about him while I blushed every time his name was mentioned.

It would have never been noticed but Gabi noticed and soon they were teasing me. Especially since I was the only person whose hand he kissed. I can’t believe I’m here so hang up on a guy who probably didn’t notice me as a woman. It’s pathetic and sad, I mean he didn’t show any special interest in me he just complimented me on my designs.

Why I’m I so hang up on him? It’s not as if I stand a chance. I have to find a way to control my reaction to him since something tells me I’ll be seeing a lot of him at least till the wedding is over. ‘Yeah then we could see a lot more of him in a whole less clothes’ a naughty voice in my head said. This is bad I don’t have dirty thoughts about a guy unless I really like him and I’m attracted to him, this is absurd.

I feel like I’m falling down a rabbit hole and the worst thing wasn’t that I couldn’t stop it but I didn’t know if I wanted to. From the looks Carmen and Gabi were giving me I knew they were concerned for me and we’ll probably have a discussion about this. Get a grip! He’s just an attractive guy there are many guys like him out there, I firmly told myself.

I signed as I made my way to my designing studio it’s time to start designing Olympia's gown the rehearsal dinner is next week Friday and I needed to finish designing and let her try on the gown before then. There’s always the possibility of mistakes and from the way I’m distracted from her drool worthy brother. First I had to decide on the materials, well let’s get to work…

I locked up the shop after the switching off the lights despite my fixation on Aristide I was able to focus. When I started designing I lost myself and forgot all my problems, it was the remedy for all my illnesses. I had done quite a lot today I had selected the materials and drawn a rough sketch of what the gown would look like. Is it possible to envy your own customers?

Because I seriously want to wear the gown, the down sides of being a designer. But I guess you’re good if you want to wear your own designs because Carmen sometimes needs to be stopped from eating her own sweets and her desserts are amazing. Whatever the reason I’m glad my designing took my mind off impossible issues.

I hurriedly ran down the stairs because we were in a hurry, today Carmen was the driver since we were using her car. We normally tried to leave work as early as possible on weekdays especially from Monday to Thursday. This was because the three of us used the gym in our building to stay fit. We normally visited it together as a way of encouraging each other and as bonding time.

You become as close as sisters when you watch each other try to do pushups and fail. I reached the parking lot just in time as Carmen opened the car, I got in and we left singing along to cheesy music playing in the background. Carmen’s choice of music was interesting to say the least. While Gabi and I preferred classical and slow, romantic music she preferred rap with her favorite songs being songs about girls with big backsides.

Her dance routine to sir mix -a -lot’s baby got back is award winning. Currently Bruno Mars’ bubble butt song blasted through the car and we all started singing and twerking as best as we could in the car seat with the seat belt strapped across us.

Even Gabi was dancing and singing along which wasn’t unusual when she was among us unfortunately with other people she seemed cold and standoffish but it wasn’t her fault she’d been through a lot. I’m just glad she let us in though she’s getting over the trauma the abuse she witnessed in her childhood subjected her to.

I don’t think she’s ever going to be ready for a relationship at least not anytime soon. I lightly shook my head to get rid of such thoughts right now was a good time among my best friends to just have fun and enjoy. And forget about your scorching attraction to your client’s brother a naughty little voice in my head added.

Too caught up trying to defend myself from a voice in my own head I didn’t realize we had reached home. I quickly got out of the car and went to change into my work out clothes. I met Carmen and Gabi in the hallway and we took the stairs down to the gym as a sort of warm up. We got to the gym and once again Carmen blasted some hip hop songs from her phone most of them were about butts.

After working out for an hour and a half we all went back upstairs to bath and eat our dinner we normally cooked it together and today I was the host. When I got to the kitchen Carmen and Gabi were already there and had started taking out the utensils needed to prepare the food.

I wandered into the kitchen and noticed that they had that look in their eyes when they normally wanted to talk seriously to me. Among all of us I as the most insecure Carmen embraced her curves and Gabi was more focused on inner beauty than appearances so she didn’t particularly care what others thought of her.

When they saw me they stopped what they were doing and turned to face me, I already knew what was coming.

“Kevi, we are worried about you. You seem to really be attracted to Aristide Koures and you’ve met him only once. We don’t want you to be hurt again, you know that you give out your heart too quickly and fall too deeply. You know how this ended up the first and last time you tried it. It didn’t end well for you, you ended up with a broken heart and needed therapy, you’re better than that, just try to think about that.” Carmen said, Gabi just nodded her head in approval.

“Guys I get it you’re worried for me and you don’t want to see my hurt, honestly I’m wondering why he’s affecting me so much maybe it’s because he’s the first guy in ages to not make me feel like dirt or turn out not be weird. Whatever it is I’m sure it’s a one-time thing and the next time I see him that spark will be gone for now let’s just cook some lasagna and watch some criminal minds.” Carmen and Gabi seemed to be pleased and we spent the rest of the night eating awesome lasagna and watching some criminal minds. They left at nine after helping me clean up despite my protests and they each gave me a hug before wishing me a good night and left.

I changed into my nightclothes and lay on the bed. The bedside lamp was off and I would normally be asleep by now but I couldn’t get the instant attraction I had to Aristide nor the concern of my friends out of my mind. I normally didn’t meet guys who made me feel comfortable who actually liked me and so the few relationships I had I ended up giving my heart to them too quickly and they all took it for granted.

Like I said I haven’t dated much none of us have in fact I’ve only ever had one serious relationship and it didn’t end well. Who am I kidding? It ended disastrously, at first he was perfect, he was a gentleman, participated in my hobbies with me and included my friends in our activities he even invited some of his to make it a kind of couples outing.

I fell so fast, I told him I loved him after just three months of dating, that’s where it all went south. He stopped being a gentleman, stopped going out with me, cut me off from my friends and family and worse of all started verbally abusing me.

He’s part of the reason I feel so insecure about my weight and looks, it would have continued for much longer than the six months it did if one day I hadn’t mustered courage and told Carmen and Gabi. They immediately forced me to go to his house to break up with him. I still remember going into the house and seeing him cheating on me. He was having s*x with her on the living room floor without the door locked and he looked like he didn’t care that I had caught him right in the act.

After telling the girl he was cheating on me with to wait for him in his bedroom he turned to me and went on to explain how he never really liked me and he just saw me as an easy lay. I’m so glad I hadn’t slept with him even though he always tried to make me.

We were raised as Christians and though we weren’t exactly the holiest people we vowed to remain chaste till marriage. Apparently he started cheating on me when I admitted I loved him but refused to sleep with him, turns out in the end he just wanted to have s*x with the insecure, fat, loser since he thought it would be easy.

I just stood there not saying a word till I gathered strength and left his house. After that I fell into a deep depression and contemplated suicide, somehow with the help of my family, friends and therapist and God I became better. That happened in my third year in college and I’ve never had any relationship since then. My friends were right I had to shake this attraction I had for Aristide off the only thing a guy like him would do to me was play with my emotions.

He would break me if he did and this time I don’t think I could survive. So for the sake of my heart and my wellbeing I had to crush his tiny spark of hope of ever having a relationship with him that was beginning to blossom. I’d rather live alone and whole than let something that was doomed from the start destroy me. With that thought firmly planted in my mind I finally closed my eyes and fell asleep.